Shark Warning! Review: Attack of the Lake Shark
In an age of climate change and mass extinction, the character of the murderous great white shark has never been more sympathetic. The production company behind Sharknado puts forth another shark-centric creature feature with Shark Warning!, directed by James Gadd, this time with its jaws set on human greed… and alcoholism?
Two Men Face the Shark in their Past
As a child, Alan witnessed his brother get killed by a shark while their Uncle Ron drank beer on the beach instead of watching them. Filmed on Lake Havasu in Arizona, the movie features striking shots of the desert reservoir, and the extras genuinely look sunburnt, sweaty, and near heat stroke. Twenty years after the tragedy, Alan returns to the town where his brother was killed. He walks into a bar, refuses a drink, and immediately gets into an altercation with the older Uncle Ron.
Alan, played by Andrew Katers, has the stiff awkwardness of a former theater kid, which lends itself to his wounded yet stoic persona, but not so much to his sex appeal. Ron, played by Baywatch alum David Chokachi, while sexier, gives off the vibe of an aging pretty boy rather than a rugged man of the seas (or the lake, for that matter).
The bar owner, Lisa, played by Angela Cole, coaxes the men into a tentative truce and discusses the town’s upcoming fishing competition. Thus, “The Mayor” comes into play. As does her brother, self-proclaimed shark hunter, who first spots the shark in the lake after twenty years. Deriving its conflict from Jaws, The Mayor refuses to cancel the fishing tournament (the best in the county!), despite news of the murderous shark in the waters. Now, Alan will have to figure out how to forgive Ron. And Ron must forgive himself so the two can join forces and take down the shark together. Good thing Ron gave up drinking all those years ago.
Slasher for a Television Audience
My mom once pointed out how you could tell if a soap opera character was evil just by looking at them, and The Mayor’s drunken, money-hungry performance, played by Rebecca Ritz, hits exactly that note. The long scenes of expository dialogue also plant the movie firmly in soap-opera territory. The TV-feel means there’s little gore, yet somehow the kills don’t get repetitive or redundant, and a few times the shark even manages to kill its hunters with their own weapons, giving the movie a slasher-like feel.
Notable characters include Lisa, the obligatory love interest, who is suspiciously insistent in convincing Alan to eat the bar’s fish sandwich, The Mayor’s clueless assistant who shows up two-thirds of the way through the movie in a Zara suit and confidently bumbles all of the Mayor’s evil plans, and my favorite, an over-excited fisherman named Bobby, played by James Dash, whose performance left nothing on the table.
The Final “Sharkdown”
The final confrontation arrives without much firepower, leaving the men to fight the shark through only the strength of their grief and vengeance. It rings true in a movie where everyone else dies in the middle of a monologue about how much they love money, guzzling whiskey, or both. By the end, it’s clear who the real villains are.
Shark Warning! is a shark movie that decisively takes place on a lake instead of an ocean. Absurd, a little dinky, but still a good time. 3 Cthulhu out of 5.
(3 / 5)
Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes follows the pair in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history.
Well, even though this screener is late by…(checks watch) a few months, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything to say about it. That is to say, I DO have something to say about this new edition about dogman cryptids by STM.
So, welcome to another episode of ‘Brannyk talks about Small Town Monsters’! We’ve explored the Joisey Devil, aliens giving boo boos to cows, totally Bigfoot, a big ol’ stinky doggo, your tea-spilling ghost-witch, an alien Bigfoot with a hankering for a good peanut butter sandwich, Cowboy Werewolves, ‘The STM Which Will Not Be Named‘, and Native skinwalking creeps. We have a new screener from Small Town Monsters.
Plot of Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
We follow Aaron Deese on his quest to find out the mystery of the massacre that happened at the Land Between the Lakes, a recreational area bordering on Kentucky and Tennessee.
With Shannon LeGro by his side, the two investigate the strange encounters locals have reported. Gathering modern day and older accounts of super stinky dogmen, Deese ventures deeper into the lore and history of the site to see is there’s any truth to the massacre accounted there or if they’re all just campfire stories…
Thoughts on Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes:
Nope. The “massacre” accounts are completely bogus third-rate creepy pasta stories. The one guy that they found from the internet won’t even be interviewed on camera and has…lacking testimony, and I say that generously.
Thankfully, Deese gets right to it and even he himself seems disappointed by what he discovers. And he just kind of blows past it, not really spending much time on the whole “massacre”. It’s a smart move and I appreciated it because instead of draaaaawing it out, he chose instead to focus on what matters – the locals and the history.
And, as always, with Breedlove at the helm, the historical facts of this recreation area are highlighted, such as the area being designated a recreation area by President Kennedy and the Tennessee Valley Authority exercising imminent domain. By this action, approximately 800 families were displaced from their land, causing protests and outrage by some of the families. Shining a light on a history that most don’t realize or possibly have forgotten.
And one last thought: this sewer-juice-smelling dogman is a massive dick. He, like, tries to kill you and then teleports out just for shits and giggles. Massive douche.
Brainroll Juice:
I’m not sure exactly why cryptid investigator Martin Grove became such a turning point for me in the documentary, but boy, he sure did. Martin is an absolute delight and I will bare-knuckle fight anyone who disagrees (I’m not saying that I’d win, keep that in mind, just that I would).
He’s just so genuine and curious that, even though I’m still a skeptic, I’d 100% go looking for a super smelly, translucent alien/demon dogman with him. You can tell that Martin Groves has no doubt in what he does and tries his very best to figure out the mystery behind the dogman between the Lakes. Often at his own expense and safety.
It was the Texas dogman STM that talked about people being depressed after they’ve had a cryptid experience, often finding themselves isolated from friends and family who just…don’t understand. They feel like people think they’re crazy and that they’re alone in their experiences and feelings. Many times becoming withdrawn and, well, traumatized.
Martin talks like he’s seeking proof just so people who had dogmen experiences don’t have to feel alone or crazy. That people can take comfort that what they saw is real and true. He’s standing up to that stanky-ass dogman and risking his own health by going into the creepy woods at night and searching for what he believes in.
And it doesn’t matter if you or I believe in a garbage-sludge, asshole dogman because what Martin is doing is beautiful. It’s the American dream. Believing in yourself and fighting for those who can’t.
And THAT is what Small Town Monsters is all about.
Bottomline:
If you’re here for the people and less for the dogmen, this is a great snapshot of the history and people of the region. Also, when is Martin Groves going to get his own paranormal show?
(3.5 / 5)
And now a word from Small Town Monsters
Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
Now Streaming Exclusively on Prime Video
Available on Blu/DVD from Small Town Monsters
Massilon, OH– Venture deep into the Land Between the Lakes as Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history. Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes includes interviews with witnesses, researchers and long-time locals of the Tennessee and Kentucky borders, all in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes is now available exclusively on Amazon Prime Video. A Blu-ray (SRP $19.99) and DVD (SRP ($14.99) will be available exclusively from the Small Town Monsters shop.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w3T8ZFUhck
Supernatural is not strictly a show about witchcraft. Or, is it?
Sam, Dean and John Winchester are not witches.
Or, are they? When you watch Supernatural as a modern witch, you realize that a lot of what the Winchester boys do during their battles to protect the world from monsters are things we do as part of our witchy routines.
Just the facts
Starting in 2005 and running until 2020 for fifteen seasons, Supernatural tells the stories of Sam and Dean Winchester as they protect the world from the forces of darkness. Together with a collection of human and otherworldly allies, they battle demons, ghosts, cryptids and all manner of horrifying dark creatures. It was one of many CW shows that delved into the darker side of the world before committing entirely to bad DC content.
What Supernatural got right
The first thing that jumps out when watching Supernatural is the metric ton of salt used in the show. Specifically, salt is used to protect against any number of ghastly things.
This is very familiar to any modern witch. We have so much salt. Black salt, red salt, blessed salt. Salt to cleanse, salt to banish, salt to protect. When I saw Dean and Sam with massive containers of kitchen salt, I felt like I’d found my people.
Then there is of course John Winchesters notebook. Or, dare I say, grimoire. This also felt familiar. And it’s one of the things I loved the most about Supernatural.
Look, we all want the big family grimoire with the lovely, flowing artwork and beautiful handwritten spells like in Charmed. But in reality, most grimoires look a lot more like the Winchester notebook, with sketches and notes shoved in and held in place with gum bands and paperclips. And while I’m not going to say that my grimoire has daring notes about demonic beings I’ve battled, it certainly has more quick sketches (mostly of plants) than it does beautiful calligraphy. This is supposed to be a useful document full of information we can reference quickly, not an art piece.
Longtime viewers of the show will point out that not only do the Winchesters not call themselves witches, but they often interact with witches. Sometimes as allies, and sometimes as enemies.
The witches in the show are pretty true to life. They are good and bad. They can be anyone, from any walks of life.
The witches use many tools modern practitioners use, including crystals, scrying mirrors and protection symbols. Honestly, they are pretty spot-on. Except for the spectacular TV magic they implement.
Finally, I want to discuss the question I asked at the start. Are the Winchesters witches?
No, they’re not. Because they don’t claim the title. Even if someone does magic, they’re not a witch unless they say they’re a witch. The whole point of witchcraft, after all, is personal power and personal choice.
What Supernatural got wrong
All of that being said, Supernatural was of course not a perfect depiction of witchcraft. For one thing, there is no grand coven of witches. I don’t think enough of us could agree on enough to create one.
But if we did, Stevie Nicks would be the Supreme.
Witches also don’t have to come from a long line of witches or be taught by other witches. Many of us are self-taught from books. And sadly, many of us live in communities where we might be the only witches around.
Thankfully, there are online communities from which to learn and grow. You don’t need to be a generational witch, or even have a close witch mentor. It’s a practice, and practice is all that’s required.
All in all, Supernatural is a fairly good example of modern witchcraft. The show might not be about witches, but it’s a great representation.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
Movies n TV
Evil: Genesis 1 (S1E1)
Evil: Genesis 1 (S1E1) is a supernatural drama created by Michelle King and Robert King, starring Katja Herbers & Mike Colter.
Evil: Genesis 1 (S1E1) is a supernatural drama created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, and Christine Lahti. It originally aired under CBS before moving to Paramount+. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons. Though this series will earn nominations and awards, I’ll bring them up in relevant points or the end of the season review.
Dr. Kristen Bouchard (Katja Herbers) is a forensic psychologist struggling to financially support four daughters after losing her contract with the prosecution. When a Catholic seminarian (Mike Colter as David Acosta) offers her an opportunity to become an assessor for the Catholic church, she’s in no position to argue. Little does she know; this decision will put her in the crosshairs of Evil.
What I Like about Evil: “Genesis 1”
The cast includes heavy hitters and niche delights, such as Aasif Mandvi and Michael Emerson. Mike Colter, recently coming off of Luke Cage, brings his own star power to the cast.
Evil’s Genesis 1 starts strong with its supporting villain, Darren Pettie’s Orson LeRoux, who gives a calm and flowery account of his horrible crimes. Evil balances a light tone with dark material, and this performance does an expert job of setting that standard.
However, Katja Herbers’s Dr. Bouchard brings the central performance to life. Genesis 1 does a great job of planting the seeds of this complex character. From her ability to get shit done to her unsatisfying life, Bouchard has plenty of traits that easily allow for empathy and understanding.
Evil balances the line between real and supernatural horror, allowing viewers to assess a situation with plausible deniability. Seeing through the eyes of a skeptic, Dr. Bouchard, amplifies the fear and trauma a demon’s appearance ought to bring.
In terms of direct horror, Genesis 1 sets up what will come. It often provides an unsettling experience, building tension for future episodes. Where Genesis 1 becomes terrifying are those moments of juxtaposition, such as the initial monologue.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
While little is shown in the show of Orsen’s crimes, he is a rapist and murderer. To clarify, any depictions mentioned focus more on the murder.
As David aims to become a Catholic priest and the central trio act as assessors on behalf of the Catholic church, there will be religious elements that might rub some the wrong way. An example is the shady history of the church briefly mentioned as a throwaway jab by the antagonists. However, these elements are only lightly touched upon here.
A brief seed remains planted between Kristen and David, an attraction that might indicate an infidelity. This tension plays a role within the series. In my opinion, it’s handled well and adds to the complexity of the characters, but it’s a point worth mentioning for those troubled by such things.
What I Dislike about Evil: “Genesis 1”
Truthfully, there’s nothing I disliked. The only potential weakness worth mentioning is that the focus on Kristen remains so dominant one might easily assume it’s her story alone. Eventually, Mike Colter’s David becomes a co-lead for the show. While there remains a clear purpose for this decision, it’s the one gripe worth mentioning in terms of fully living up to the premise.
Another nitpick is the court procedure. Kristen gives her statement and is meant to return after new evidence to reaffirm her given statement as if they paused her testimony. Evil doesn’t explain its version of court procedure here.
Final Thoughts on Evil: “Genesis 1”
Genesis 1 provides a great foundation for Evil to thrive, sowing the seeds for future episodes to build upon. The only area that falls short remains communicating its leading cast, which future episodes aim to fix. If you’re hesitant about the series, Genesis 1 provides a great glimpse of what to expect.
(5 / 5)
