Sharkula is a 2022 film where two men take jobs in an isolated seaside town. The town is revealed to be ruled by Dracula and a vampire shark.
I wanted to like Sharkula. As soon as I heard the concept, I was hooked. I love vampires. I love Dracula. I love bad shark movies. All bundled together with some Lovecraftian vibes? Yes. Absolutely. I was completely here for it.
This poster? Look at it. Beautiful. Amazing. Surely this is the perfect film!
But alas, it was not to be.
Look, I love bad movies, but this movie is worse than bad. It’s boring.
It starts off so strong! We’ve got cheap special effects. A silly shark puppet. A few hilarious deaths. But it goes downhill so quickly. The movie becomes a snoozefest.
Pacing Problems in Sharkula
I get what they were going for. I really do. I could see the beats they were trying to hit. But the pacing was off. Too much of the movie is spent on the buildup & there isn’t enough room for the payoff. In other similar vampire movies (particularly Dracula adaptations) the plot flows a bit like this: we start with the investigation, a buildup of strange incidents that rouse the suspicions of the protagonists, who then try to figure out what’s going on. Then the protagonists finally figure out there’s a vampire involved, and thus begins the hunt- a cat and mouse game between the protagonists and the vampire, which generally culminates in the vampire’s demise.
The movie is an hour and ten minutes long. The protagonists figure out that vampires are involved about 46 minutes into the movie. That leaves less than 24 minutes for the hunt and confrontation. Almost immediately after the remaining protagonist finds out about Dracula, Dracula teams up with him against Sharkula. In fairly rapid succession, they move against Sharkula, defeat Sharkula, get betrayed by Dracula, plan to kill Dracula, then kill Dracula.
The investigation drags on far too long, and the hunt is rushed through far too quickly.
There were several places they could have made cuts during the investigation section to make room for more of the hunt. For instance, Renfield’s bra-sniffing scenes didn’t add anything to the film and could go, along with the several scenes of what appears to be stock footage that ultimately hurt the film. Putting glossy, professional footage right next to the more low-budget fair makes it look a lot worse than it otherwise would.
Especially when that glossy professional footage is shot at night.
It Was (Not) A Dark & Stormy Night
It seems that only one of the scenes in the film that takes place at night was actually filmed at night. For the rest it’s clearly broad daylight, and they simply put this ugly blue color grading over the footage to make it look like night. It does not work. It feels particularly unforgivable in a vampire movie.
What About The Shark?
Sharkula also doesn’t feel a whole lot like a shark movie. The shark parts aren’t really balanced with the vampire parts, and the fact that Sharkula is a shark doesn’t feel significant to the film. You could swap Sharkula for Snakeula or Bearcula and it wouldn’t really affect the film a whole lot. It feels like it’s mostly just a shark ‘cause they needed it to be some kind of sea creature to help maintain the Lovecraft vibes, and to try and make bank off the popularity of bad shark movies.
If you come into Sharkula expecting a bad shark movie, you’re probably not gonna get what you’re looking for.
The Acting in Sharkula
Despite the material they were given to work with, I think the actors did fairly decent jobs. It’s definitely not Oscar-worthy acting, but the actors were making deliberate choices with their characters and I liked what they were doing. Jamie Morgan, who played Mina, was my favorite; her over-the-top performance brought much-needed energy to the film and she was the highlight of every scene she was in.
Conceptually, this movie was the culmination of basically everything I love, but in execution it does not deliver. Unfortunately I was let down. I must regretfully give this film 1.5 cthulhus. If you’d like to watch this movie, it’s currently available on Tubi. You can also buy it on Amazon. Remember that we are an Amazon affiliate and if you buy anything using the Amazon links provided we will get some money back.(1.5 / 5)
Episode seven of Netflix’s Dahmer brings the spotlight, finally, to the hero of our story. Glenda Cleveland.
Glenda was Jeff’s neighbor. And honestly, I can’t think of a worse neighbor. A horrific stench is always coming from his apartment. He has people over, and they make a lot of noise.
While they’re dying.
If you’ll recall episode one of Dahmer ended with all of his neighbors, including Glenda, being forced to leave their homes. The whole building was declared a crime scene. They’re not given any place to go, of course.
Everyone’s got a few thousand dollars socked away for an unexpected motel stay, right?
Fortunately, Glenda was able to get a motel room. And that’s where she is when Reverend Jesse Jackson finds her.
Glenda pours out her story to Reverend Jackson. The rest of the episode consists of her dark and troubling encounters with Dahmer.
The most compelling scene, I think, is when Dahmer brings Glenda a sandwich. He’s being evicted, and he knows it’s because she’s been complaining about the smells coming out of his apartment.
He tries to pour on his little boy charm. He tells her that he got his apartment cleaned, just for her. He brings her a pulled meat sandwich as a present.
Notice I don’t say pulled pork, because I’m fairly sure it was human meat. Or, it was just drugged.
This episode just hummed with tension and rage. I was so happy to see Reverend Jackson tear into the police in the most polite way possible. I hated seeing what Glenda went through. And even though I know she lives through this horrific encounter, I held my breath the entire time she was alone with Jeff.
Dahmer is certainly not afraid to jump back and forth between the past and present. But they are careful to never do it in such a way that I felt lost. And I honestly think this was the best way to do it.
The reason for this is that it adds a level of suspense that Dahmer might have lacked without it. Suspense is something that true crime stories can lack. Especially well-known ones. We have heard this story before. We know how it ends. But in presenting the tale this way, first from one point of view and then another, it reveals sides of it that we may not have seen before.
I loved seeing the story from Glenda’s point of view. She was brave, determined, and selfless. She had every right to be furious at the way the police dismissed her concerns for years. And yet she continued to handle everything professionally. She never stopped trying to help people, even when no one else seemed to care. And for that, she is a true hero.(4 / 5)
Review: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
The second half of the 1990s was a comeback of the slasher sub-genre, thanks to Wes Craven’s Scream. It was precisely because of its success that Kevin Williamson was able to pitch the script for I Know What You Did Last Summer. An extremely loose adaption of the book of the same title, it follows a group of teenagers who drunkenly commit a hit-and-run. They decide to – what a surprise – get rid of the body to get away with it. Let’s have a look at why this film is a cult classic of its kind, shall we?
Top not atmosphere makes a big difference
I must’ve said this in one of my previous reviews but to me at least, the setting in a movie can make or break the viewing experience. In I Know What You Did Last Summer, I always found it a paradox and also highly effective that the action occurs in a fishing town with tons of open land and the sea. However, the characters feel trapped to the point of suffocating by the choices they made because, despite all the roads leading out, they always end up back there.
Their small town is living in its own little utopia with beauty pageants, firework displays, and unsurprisingly, not a single person the group can turn to for help. I thought it was really well done and it doesn’t hurt cinematography in general is beautiful.
Would the suggestions of the fans make sense?
Something that the fans of the movie have long debated is that they needed to swap the final girls of the movie, killing off Julie and making Helen the survivor. A lot of factors contribute to this. Sarah Michelle Gellar is phenomenal in her role and with all respect to Jennifer Love Hewitt, her portrayal pales a bit in comparison. Helen’s chase scene is one of the best if not the best in horror with how hard she fought for survival and how close she was to safety. On the contrary, Julie’s chip on the shoulder got on a lot of people’s nerves, mine included sometimes.
One has to think of the narrative purpose of the two characters. Julie serves as the outright goody two shoes, the one who actively fights Barry to go to the police, and the one who shows the most obvious remorse for what they’ve done. Helen is meant to be the ditsy blonde, however, throughout the movie, she’s shown to have more going on and that the incident affected her just as much even if it wasn’t so transparent.
Her endurance throughout the chase is a nice juxtaposition to the role she is meant to play, and to Julie’s scene later on (again, with all due respect, she does nothing apart from scream and run a bit) and the fact that she still dies after it gives a good gut punch that actually makes you care about these people despite their more than questionable decisions.
When it comes to the guys, I don’t actually have much to say. Barry is a classic jerk stereotype and Ray is a glaring red herring throughout the movie (I would also say Freddy Prince Jr was the weakest actor out of the four but again, I am no acting coach, just my opinion).
To sum up my thoughts on I Know What You Did Last Summer – it definitely has its flaws and asks the audience to suspend their disbelief (even for slasher standards). Regardless, it’s a staple entry of the genre and the 90s due to its atmosphere, tension-building, and for the most part decent acting. A must-have in your collection for horror buffs. No wonder it inspired a loosely based TV adaptation (its success is debatable but the thought still counts, right?)
The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine Special Live Watch Party February 10th!
The sweet putrid stench of love lingers through the air which can only mean one thing…Valentine’s Day and its annoying little winged cherub mascot, Cupid, is fast approaching. Soon, partners will be spoiling one another with extravagant bouquets of roses, heartfelt Hallmark cards, obnoxiously large teddy bears, glistening diamond jewelry, and heart-shaped candies or boxes filled with assorted mediocre chocolates. You know? Normal things couples do. I tend to prefer my chocolate boxes filled with bleeding hearts, à la ‘My Bloody Valentine’ but, beggars can’t be choosers, right? All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day is special for many couples, however, there are also many others who find themselves celebrating this day without a significant other. Luckily, Shudder, along with drive-in king Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl (Diana Prince) will graciously be keeping us lonely mutants’, and yes, all you horror fanatic couples’ company on Friday, February 10th as they return with The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine, premiering live at 9pm EST.
Love Spells Abound…
Back in 2021, Joe Bob and Darcy invited us to a gruesomely passionate night of spell-binding love witches and animatronic dinosaurs infused with teenage human brains during The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob Put a Spell on You. Many, including myself, were introduced to the tantalizing 70’s inspired retro throwback ‘The Love Witch’ and the graphically goofy cult classic ‘Tammy and the T-Rex’, providing the perfect viewing pleasure to mend any broken heart. While the two films for this year’s morbid love-induced special have yet to be announced, as a special treat, Briggs has announced for the first time on The Last Drive-In, he will be marrying one lucky couple during the live showing. We here at HauntedMTL are eagerly awaiting the return of the ghoulish duo so, as is tradition, we will be proudly hosting a watch party on Twitter during the broadcasting of The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and tag us @hauntedMTL as well as @shudder, @therealjoebob, and @kinky_horror to partake in this night of unholy love.
What started off as a one-time special premiering on Shudder July 13, 2018, ‘The Last Drive- In’ was originally meant to be Brigg’s swan song; one last special before hanging up the bolo tie in retirement. However, due to so many mutants, excuse me…viewers tuning in and breaking the Shudder servers, it was only natural to announce an official full season of ‘The Last Drive-In‘, which would make its explosive debut March 19, 2019. Since then, Darcy and Briggs have spawned many exclusive holiday specials, have graciously donated to many charities within the community, and have accumulated 4 seasons of ‘The Last Drive-In’, with a fifth currently in production premiering on Shudder’s 2023 schedule sometime this year, let’s hope sooner rather than later.
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The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine Special Live Watch Party February 10th!