Buffy the Vampire Slayer S1E3 “Witch”
AKA: I will live vicariously through you one way or another
Warm up your cold open with some fire
Witch starts off with some heavy emotional labor. Buffy and Giles are helping Willow and Xander move through the grieving process for their good pal Jesse.
JUST KIDDING. We’re only on episode three, baby. There’ll be plenty of time for that feelings nonsense later (I’m looking at you, seasons 5 and 6). No, today we’re going to listen to Giles liken cheerleading to a cult. He attempts to forbid it, but Buffy forbids his forbiddance. She says she just needs something safe and normal in her life. The quick cut to a bubbling cauldron clues us into the irony.
Willow and Xander accompany Buffy to tryouts, where the latter gives her a bracelet. It says “Yours Always,” which Xander insists was pre-engraved on all of them. Yuck. Cordelia tries talking shit to Willow and Buffy, but Willow is more interested in catching up with Amy. Amy and Willow used to have brownie-eating sleepovers, but more recently Amy lost a bunch of weight training several hours a day with her mom. That’s enough backstory for the cold open, though, because would-be cheerleader Amber is on fire and Buffy has to put it out.
Dreams
The gang reconvenes in the library to speculate about spontaneous combustion, which is often tied to rage. Willow offers to hack school records to see if Amber has a history of outbursts while Xander asks around. Buffy says they don’t need to help, but they’ve decided they’re the Slayerettes. These leads end up going nowhere.
Back at the Summers house Joyce is muttering dismissively as Buffy describes her day. She doesn’t actually know what Buffy was auditioning for. Buffy not-so-subtly remarks that Amy and her mom train together, but Joyce points out that she has a gallery to run. Single-parenting in SoCal ain’t cheap.
At the next day of tryouts, Amy runs into Cordelia. Literally – she knocks her over. Cordy gives Amy this long spiel about her dreams of being a cheerleader and what that would entail. She makes vague threats about what will happen if she didn’t make the team.
Amy is unsurprisingly bummed, and because you can’t spell “Buffy Summers” without “Bummer” our favorite Slayer is here to commiserate. It turns out they each find themselves living with single mothers as the result of divorce. Amy feels like she needs to live up to her mom’s cheerleading legacy and the pressure has been mounting since her parents’ split.
Meanwhile Xander is going on and on about Buffy to Willow and I am already so sick of this subplot. He is asking Willow for advice on how to ask Buffy out and calling her “one of the guys” all in one breath.
If you’re not first…
The results have been posted: Cordelia is on the team, Buffy is first alternate, and Amy is third alternate. Despite the term “alternate” Xander assumes this means they made it-made it and is a bit too cheery when delivering the news.
We see the bubbling cauldron again, this time with a voice cursing Cordelia. (Amazon’s closed captions completely ruined the mystery of who the titular witch is.)
Joyce has been briefed on this episode’s theme, so upon hearing Buffy didn’t make the squad she encourages her daughter to join Yearbook like she did in high school. Joyce just wants Buffy to stay out of trouble, and Buffy just wants her mom’s support.
Xander tries to ask Buffy out, but THANK GOD Cordy is acting weird enough for Buffy to need to cut him off and follow her. At her driver’s ed course, the instructor insists Cordelia drive – even though Cordelia says she isn’t feeling well and has apparently failed three times. Seriously, dude, you’re going to have her drive you and two other students when she is vocally expressing her inability to drive safely?
We get a blurry PoV shot and, shock of shocks, Cordelia crashes the car. She winds up standing in the street, completely blind. She is only saved from being hit by an oncoming truck (whose driver was all too willing to hit a pedestrian) by Buffy.
Witchunt
Back in the library Giles theorizes witchcraft is the source of the trouble. The Scoobies deduce it must be Amy since the prior two victims – and Amy’s mom – were cheerleaders. Buffy doesn’t blame her since she knows the pressure Amy’s mom is putting on her. This is especially nice of her considering she is no longer an alternate due to Cordelia’s untimely blinding. Buffy is officially in the target pool.
Giles explains how they can determine if Amy recently cast a spell. The ingredients will all be conveniently located in their combo chemistry-biology class. Buffy spills the potion on Amy during a chaotic sequence where another cheerleader is also being cursed (her mouth just disappears. It’s just gone. I’d say this is one of the more disturbing shots of the episode.). The potion turns blue, which means Amy is the witch. Unfortunately, Amy realizes what is happening and steals Buffy’s bracelet for her next concoction. Back at her house, she takes out a lot of her pent up aggression on her mom and makes her mom do her homework.
The next morning Buffy is beyond peppy. She breaks her alarm, half apologizes/half argues with Joyce, says something about being the Slayer to Joyce, and sings “Macho Man” a lot. This translates to her literally throwing another cheerleader across the gym during pre-game practice. Of course, this means her stint as leader of Sunnydale cheers is over before it really began.
Willow and Xander carry Buffy to the library, and she’s basically the drunk friend on the precipice between very happy and very sad. In a nice callback to Xander and Willow’s earlier conversation, Buffy says Xander is like one of the girls.
Giles diagnoses Buffy with a nasty case of Bloodstone Vengeance. They’ve got about 3 hours to either reverse the spell or cut off Amy’s head. Buffy votes for the former, because she still doesn’t blame Amy for all of this.
Which witch is which?
Buffy and Giles go to Amy’s house. They find Amy’s mom. Giles gives her this really intense dressing down before Buffy sees… a plate of half-eaten brownies?!! That’s right: the single characteristic we know about Amy is how we know she and her mom have swapped bodies. Amy’s mom told her she was wasting her youth which is just sad. I’m sad that all we know about Amy is that she likes brownies and her mom doesn’t like her.
They grab her mom’s spellbooks and head back to the school. Willow and Xander are at the game keeping an eye on who they still think is Amy. We get some more PoV shots from her perspective: flashes of Giles, Buffy, and the real Amy in the chemistry lab attempting to reverse the spells. She runs out of the game to stop them, and Willow and Xander follow her. There is a brief fight in the hall, which includes Amy(‘s mom) doing a Darth Vader choke out to Xander and a Jack Torrence to the chem lab door.
Giles has finished reversing the spell in time, but Amy’s mom is still crazed. She and Buffy throw each other around a bit. It’s witch versus slayer. Buffy deflects a spell meant for her with the reflective surface of a dissection plate. Amy’s mom is magicked away to live in her old cheerleading trophy forever. Amy gets to live with her dad now. And guess what: they’re making brownies this Saturday. Buffy and Joyce get a nice reconciliation as well.
Trav’s single sentence review of Witch: No wonder Amy’s dad left.
I really like this episode. It’s our first true monster of the week, but we also get some real-world storylines to parallel the supernatural ones. It also introduced us to Amy, the first of several recurring minor characters. (Don’t worry, we won’t talk about brownies anymore.) We also get a better sense of Buffy’s moral compass and how she differentiates good and evil at this point in time. 
(4 / 5)
Where to watch Witch (sponsored links!)
Episode four of Amazon’s Fallout wasn’t the best-liked. Of course, that’s relative to the rest of the season. While this is the second-to-last-ranked episode, it’s still an 8.1 on IMDB.
So let’s talk about why it might have slipped a bit but was still a great episode of TV.
The story
Let’s start our discussion of this episode with Maximus.
After he and Thaddeus successfully retrieved the head from the Gulper, they’re in high spirits. Together they celebrate around a fire, giving a lovely impression of two people who have been drinking despite not seeing a bottle in sight. Thaddeus even convinces Maximus to brand him.
While having a good time, Maximus’s consciousness gets the better of him. He admits to Thaddeus that he’s not Knight Titus, but he is Thaddeus’s old punching bag.
Rather than responding to this act of honesty with an equal measure of grace and brotherhood, Thaddeus immediately disables Maximus’s suit, taking the power source and the head. He then leaves Maximus trapped in the suit that he wanted so much, doomed to die in it.
Lucy isn’t in a much better place. If you’ll recall, last episode she drank radiated water out of desperate thirst. She’s now suffering from radiation poisoning. Fortunately, before she succumbs to this poison, she finds Maximus. He has the medicine she needs, and she can free him from his suit before he’s eaten by giant cockroaches. It seems like a win/win. If that is, the two of them can trust each other. And haven’t they both learned that trusting other people might be the most dangerous thing in this very dangerous world?
What worked
The first thing I want to draw attention to is the relationship between Lucy and Maximus. A lot has happened since the last time the two saw each other when there were some sparks but no time to do anything about them. Both have been betrayed and hurt. So while they’re instinct is clearly to trust each other, it’s also to be cautious. And that makes sense. They are both good people, driven by the desire to help others. But both are cautious of being hurt again.
This was not only relatable, but it gave a much different feel to a standard will they/won’t they relationship. Will they be able to trust each other enough to let their feelings out is the real question. Which is a lot more interesting, in my opinion.
I also found the giant, mutated bugs to be fantastic. They were the perfect blend of cute and terrifying. At first glance, they seem like a larger version of Hal from Wall-E. Then, you realize how few of them it would take to eat someone trapped in place. And how little time it might take.
And how long it might feel like while it’s happening.
We don’t need to see that happen to feel the terror there. And to feel some concern about the tiny pests that sometimes share our homes.
Of course, the highlight of this episode was the political intrigue surrounding Vault 33, and how its leaders always seem to be from Vault 31. This storyline is quickly becoming my favorite part of the season. It’s a dark and creepy mystery, which is always fantastic. But it’s also fascinating to see the character of Norm blossoming into someone whose life has meaning. Because at the start of the season, he was lacking that.
All in all, while this was a slower episode it was still a good one. And its ending certainly left me excited for what was to come.
(4 / 5)
If you like my work, you can check out my latest science fiction/horror novel, Nova, launching on May 17th. Pre-orders are available now on Amazon.
Movies n TV
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022), a Film Review
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) is a horror comedy directed by Halina Reijn. This R-rated horror film stars Amandla Stenberg and Maria Bakalova.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) is a horror comedy directed by Halina Reijn. This R-rated horror film stars Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Myha’la, Rachel Sennott, Chase Sui Wonders, Pete Davidson, Lee Pace, and Conner O’Malley. The film is currently available on fuboTV, Netflix, Hoopla, and Showtime.
Sophie (Amandla Stenberg) brings her girlfriend (Maria Bakalova as Bee) to her friend’s hurricane party. Lasting resentment and toxic relationships infest the group, leaving Bee to witness increasingly uncomfortable situations. Soon after, bodies start dropping.
What I Like about Bodies
The chemistry between these toxic friends gives me anxiety. If toxic friendships aren’t a universal experience, toxic traits certainly make themselves apparent in any friend group, and this film maximizes this experience. It’s not revolutionary, but effective and uncomfortable.
Several subtle clues hint at the relationships of these friends, building up as the story progresses and chaos ensues. I love these moments, though the film doesn’t seem confident that the viewer picks up these clues. This decision hinders execution, an unfortunate point for later.
While the performances are strong throughout, Amandla Stenberg and Maria Bakalova remain the main characters and receive the most opportunities to perform. However, almost every character has a moment, or several, and lives up to those moments once given.
The twist seems obvious, but that doesn’t hinder the viewing experience. While not the biggest fan of the execution, I enjoy the spiraling chaos it creates.
The opening scene shows the two leads making out for viewer engagement. However, I think the contract toward the end gives this scene added context and plot relevance beyond simply sex appeal. While it is unavoidable that so well, many films will go no further. So, added relevance deserves a nod.
Far from the bloodiest film out there, but it doesn’t hesitate to bleed its cast. It uses this blood and limited gore to add weight to the deaths as opposed to haunting or nauseating its audience.
Tropes, Triggers, and Considerations
As previously hinted, toxic relationships remain key points in the plot. Falling in line with this are points of spousal abuse (physically and mentally) that should remain a consideration.
Idiocy to push the plot along certainly plays a role in the plot. In this case, I consider it a feature. However, it’s still a required taste for viewer consideration.
Addiction and recovery drive several characters. I’ll avoid pointing to them so as not to give away plot details. However, usage and relapse deserve a mention in this section.
If any of these are deal breakers, give this film a skip.
What I Dislike, or Food for Thought, about Bodies
Bodies shifts between a mindless and clever horror comedy, never comfortably sticking to one or the other. It pulls off elements of both with expertise, but the tugging and pulling of these different elements limits the execution of either. Because of the above friction, Halina Reijin gives us all the clues to piece everything together and still tells us. Pick an audience and trust them.
As a horror comedy, this film leans on the humor over the horror. The unraveling of characters certainly earns respect but expect a comedy for a better experience. It’s not a particularly scary film, and it doesn’t try to occupy that space.
Final Thoughts
Bodies Bodies Bodies spirals into a chaotic horror comedy, banking on the toxic chemistry of its cast to deliver both. The film never makes a strong stance in either claiming a mindless or clever horror comedy, shifting between both at the expense of the whole. It remains a bumpy but engaging viewing experience, nonetheless.
(3 / 5)
Episode four of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was a great one for character development. It was also great because one of my personal favorite actors was involved.
Let’s discuss.
The story
This episode’s story revolved largely around Lucy and The Ghoul. He’s still dragging her about on a rope, but we aren’t sure why. While she can track the Head, she certainly hasn’t shared that information with the Ghoul.
What he wants her for soon becomes clear, when he barters her for vials of the medication that keeps him from losing himself to the ghoul illness.
At first, Lucy thinks this is a step up. She’s taken by a robot surgeon named Snip Snip to get a new thumb. Since, you know, The Ghoul shot her thumb off.
However, after stitching a new thumb on, Snip Snip takes her to his masters. Who then say they want him to cut her up for her organs.
Lucy manages to escape and even frees the other people trapped by these organ brokers. In doing so, she comes into the possession of many, many of those vials that The Ghoul needs so desperately.
Meanwhile, Norm is starting to suspect that all is not what it should be in Vault 33. While the rest of the vault is preparing to elect a new overseer, he takes Chet and sneaks off to Vault 32. There, they find some horrific sights. Long dead bodies, next to messages scrawled in blood. There are especially bodies around the door that leads to Vault 31, where someone has written We Know What’s in There on the wall.
Of course, we don’t know what’s in there. But I’m sure we’re going to find out.
Norm continues to dig, checking for information on the old Overseer’s computer. And he finds that the door to Vault 32 was opened by a Pip-Boy. To be specific, it was a Pip-Boy owned by Norm and Lucy’s mother.
I’m sure that won’t be relevant later.
What worked
The more I see of this season, the more I like Lucy. She is growing and evolving as a person, just like Wilzig told her she would have to do. She is becoming harder. But her kindness and values haven’t changed yet. She is still a good person. I love that.
I also love the dark, creepy storyline with Norm. I love how serious he is, especially when compared to the rest of his community. I especially love that, even as emotionally disturbed he is by what he’s learning, he seems passionate. And from what we’ve seen of this character, this is possibly the first thing he’s felt passionate about his entire life. I am impressed with the writing and acting that have allowed us to see his lack of passion with minimal focus. He is a fun, well-written character.
Finally, I’d like to shine the spotlight on Matt Berry. He is a delightful actor known for What We Do in the Shadows and IT Crowd. And he is playing the remarkably funny role of Snip Snip, the robot surgeon. His voice lends an extra level of humor to an already funny premise. This was another example of the great casting we’ve seen so far on Fallout.
In the end, this was a great episode from all points. It was fun, heartfelt, and dark. In short, I have no notes. I’m only excited to see what happens in the next episode.
(4 / 5)
