Buffy the Vampire Slayer S1E3 “Witch”
AKA: I will live vicariously through you one way or another
Warm up your cold open with some fire
Witch starts off with some heavy emotional labor. Buffy and Giles are helping Willow and Xander move through the grieving process for their good pal Jesse.
JUST KIDDING. We’re only on episode three, baby. There’ll be plenty of time for that feelings nonsense later (I’m looking at you, seasons 5 and 6). No, today we’re going to listen to Giles liken cheerleading to a cult. He attempts to forbid it, but Buffy forbids his forbiddance. She says she just needs something safe and normal in her life. The quick cut to a bubbling cauldron clues us into the irony.
Willow and Xander accompany Buffy to tryouts, where the latter gives her a bracelet. It says “Yours Always,” which Xander insists was pre-engraved on all of them. Yuck. Cordelia tries talking shit to Willow and Buffy, but Willow is more interested in catching up with Amy. Amy and Willow used to have brownie-eating sleepovers, but more recently Amy lost a bunch of weight training several hours a day with her mom. That’s enough backstory for the cold open, though, because would-be cheerleader Amber is on fire and Buffy has to put it out.
Dreams
The gang reconvenes in the library to speculate about spontaneous combustion, which is often tied to rage. Willow offers to hack school records to see if Amber has a history of outbursts while Xander asks around. Buffy says they don’t need to help, but they’ve decided they’re the Slayerettes. These leads end up going nowhere.
Back at the Summers house Joyce is muttering dismissively as Buffy describes her day. She doesn’t actually know what Buffy was auditioning for. Buffy not-so-subtly remarks that Amy and her mom train together, but Joyce points out that she has a gallery to run. Single-parenting in SoCal ain’t cheap.
At the next day of tryouts, Amy runs into Cordelia. Literally – she knocks her over. Cordy gives Amy this long spiel about her dreams of being a cheerleader and what that would entail. She makes vague threats about what will happen if she didn’t make the team.
Amy is unsurprisingly bummed, and because you can’t spell “Buffy Summers” without “Bummer” our favorite Slayer is here to commiserate. It turns out they each find themselves living with single mothers as the result of divorce. Amy feels like she needs to live up to her mom’s cheerleading legacy and the pressure has been mounting since her parents’ split.
Meanwhile Xander is going on and on about Buffy to Willow and I am already so sick of this subplot. He is asking Willow for advice on how to ask Buffy out and calling her “one of the guys” all in one breath.
If you’re not first…
The results have been posted: Cordelia is on the team, Buffy is first alternate, and Amy is third alternate. Despite the term “alternate” Xander assumes this means they made it-made it and is a bit too cheery when delivering the news.
We see the bubbling cauldron again, this time with a voice cursing Cordelia. (Amazon’s closed captions completely ruined the mystery of who the titular witch is.)
Joyce has been briefed on this episode’s theme, so upon hearing Buffy didn’t make the squad she encourages her daughter to join Yearbook like she did in high school. Joyce just wants Buffy to stay out of trouble, and Buffy just wants her mom’s support.
Xander tries to ask Buffy out, but THANK GOD Cordy is acting weird enough for Buffy to need to cut him off and follow her. At her driver’s ed course, the instructor insists Cordelia drive – even though Cordelia says she isn’t feeling well and has apparently failed three times. Seriously, dude, you’re going to have her drive you and two other students when she is vocally expressing her inability to drive safely?
We get a blurry PoV shot and, shock of shocks, Cordelia crashes the car. She winds up standing in the street, completely blind. She is only saved from being hit by an oncoming truck (whose driver was all too willing to hit a pedestrian) by Buffy.
Witchunt
Back in the library Giles theorizes witchcraft is the source of the trouble. The Scoobies deduce it must be Amy since the prior two victims – and Amy’s mom – were cheerleaders. Buffy doesn’t blame her since she knows the pressure Amy’s mom is putting on her. This is especially nice of her considering she is no longer an alternate due to Cordelia’s untimely blinding. Buffy is officially in the target pool.
Giles explains how they can determine if Amy recently cast a spell. The ingredients will all be conveniently located in their combo chemistry-biology class. Buffy spills the potion on Amy during a chaotic sequence where another cheerleader is also being cursed (her mouth just disappears. It’s just gone. I’d say this is one of the more disturbing shots of the episode.). The potion turns blue, which means Amy is the witch. Unfortunately, Amy realizes what is happening and steals Buffy’s bracelet for her next concoction. Back at her house, she takes out a lot of her pent up aggression on her mom and makes her mom do her homework.
The next morning Buffy is beyond peppy. She breaks her alarm, half apologizes/half argues with Joyce, says something about being the Slayer to Joyce, and sings “Macho Man” a lot. This translates to her literally throwing another cheerleader across the gym during pre-game practice. Of course, this means her stint as leader of Sunnydale cheers is over before it really began.
Willow and Xander carry Buffy to the library, and she’s basically the drunk friend on the precipice between very happy and very sad. In a nice callback to Xander and Willow’s earlier conversation, Buffy says Xander is like one of the girls.
Giles diagnoses Buffy with a nasty case of Bloodstone Vengeance. They’ve got about 3 hours to either reverse the spell or cut off Amy’s head. Buffy votes for the former, because she still doesn’t blame Amy for all of this.
Which witch is which?
Buffy and Giles go to Amy’s house. They find Amy’s mom. Giles gives her this really intense dressing down before Buffy sees… a plate of half-eaten brownies?!! That’s right: the single characteristic we know about Amy is how we know she and her mom have swapped bodies. Amy’s mom told her she was wasting her youth which is just sad. I’m sad that all we know about Amy is that she likes brownies and her mom doesn’t like her.
They grab her mom’s spellbooks and head back to the school. Willow and Xander are at the game keeping an eye on who they still think is Amy. We get some more PoV shots from her perspective: flashes of Giles, Buffy, and the real Amy in the chemistry lab attempting to reverse the spells. She runs out of the game to stop them, and Willow and Xander follow her. There is a brief fight in the hall, which includes Amy(‘s mom) doing a Darth Vader choke out to Xander and a Jack Torrence to the chem lab door.
Giles has finished reversing the spell in time, but Amy’s mom is still crazed. She and Buffy throw each other around a bit. It’s witch versus slayer. Buffy deflects a spell meant for her with the reflective surface of a dissection plate. Amy’s mom is magicked away to live in her old cheerleading trophy forever. Amy gets to live with her dad now. And guess what: they’re making brownies this Saturday. Buffy and Joyce get a nice reconciliation as well.
Trav’s single sentence review of Witch: No wonder Amy’s dad left.
I really like this episode. It’s our first true monster of the week, but we also get some real-world storylines to parallel the supernatural ones. It also introduced us to Amy, the first of several recurring minor characters. (Don’t worry, we won’t talk about brownies anymore.) We also get a better sense of Buffy’s moral compass and how she differentiates good and evil at this point in time. 
(4 / 5)
Where to watch Witch (sponsored links!)
Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.
The story
We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.
One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.
Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.
We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.
The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.
She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.
Or in her town.
Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.
Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.
Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.
It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.
What worked
The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.
Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.
Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.
Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season.
(4 / 5)
Launching with worldwide excitement, Fallout is based on the extremely popular game series of the same name. Fans of the series have waited with anticipation and trepidation to see if the Prime series would live up to the game.
Having now watched the first episode I can say that, so far, it’s successful.
The story
Our story begins with a children’s birthday party. A performer is there with his daughter, giving horse rides and taking pictures with the kids.
As much as the adults try to focus on the party and the kids, it’s impossible to ignore the looming threat of war that’s on everyone’s mind.
Of course, it’s during this party that war comes, and the bombs drop.
We then cut to after the war and into one of the vaults established to protect humankind and the American Way. For future reference, this is Vault 33. We meet Lucy, our first main character, who’s petitioning to be married to a man from Vault 32 to ensure DNA diversity.
On the wedding night, though, Lucy and the rest of Vault 33 are met with a horrible surprise. The group they let in is not in fact from Vault 32, but is instead a team of raiders from the surface. The raiders kill a lot of the vault dwellers and kidnap Lucy’s father.
We are then introduced to our second main character, Maximus. He is in training to become a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. And, well, he’s not doing great.
Things get worse when his best friend Dane becomes a squire before him. But when Dane is hurt, Maximus gets their spot.
We then go back to Lucy, who has decided to leave the vault and find her dad. Of course, the council of her vault doesn’t want her to go. So she is aided by her brother Norm and cousin Chet in a wild escape.
What worked
The first thing that deserves attention is the exceptional character work. Our three main characters are fleshed out and relatable right away. We feel sympathetic for The Ghoul before he’s even introduced as such. We love Lucy’s nativity and selflessness. And we love Maximus for his honesty and passion for his cause.
While these characters are their own people, they also exhibit the three responses we might expect to see in a post-apocalyptic world. We have the hopeful optimist who doesn’t understand how bad things are. We have the aspiring hero who wants to make the world better by force. And we have the self-serving individual who’s given up on the rest of humanity and is only focused on surviving.
Another thing I enjoyed about this episode was the balance of humor and gore. Because there was certainly enough blood and guts for even the most hardcore horror lover. We had a violent sabotage, a brawl with raiders, and even several nuclear bombs.
But there were a lot of funny moments as well. Usually from Lucy. Her overall goodwill and fearless gumption are absolutely hilarious, especially given the horrors she’s facing. It never ceases to amuse me.
Both of these aspects are done perfectly. The jokes land and the bloody scenes pull no punches. It was delightful.
All in all, this was an exciting start to a much-anticipated series. Here’s hoping they’re able to stick the landing.
For more tv shows based on video games, check out my review of Witcher.
(4 / 5)
Episode seven of American Horror Story Delicate was a classic AHS flashback episode. If you were excited to see what Preecher had to say to Anna at the end of the last episode, I’m sorry to say that you will not get that satisfaction. However, we did learn all sorts of other fascinating things about the strange coven hunting Anna. And, we learned all sorts of things we didn’t know about Dex’s first wife, Adeline.
The story
We begin our story with a woman giving birth alone in a barn. When it becomes clear that she’s not going to be able to deliver vaginally, she pulls out a knife and cuts her stomach open to pull out her children.
For whatever reason, this is when the coven of witches decides to make themselves known.
We then cut to 2013, when Dex was still married to Adeline. In true Dex fashion, he’s surprised her with a puppy.
While that sounds great in theory, dogs are something a couple should talk about, not gift each other with as a surprise. An adult would know that. A trust fund boy like Dex does not.
Adeline owns a vegan restaurant called Ave Hestia. Love that name. She seems to be living a great life. She has a career she’s passionate about, friends who love her, and a husband she seems kind of fond of.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t want a puppy. She already had one.
Of course, things aren’t as good as they appear. We soon find out that Adeline was one of those babies we saw at the start of the episode. The other baby was Sonia, the painter.
And yes, both of these characters are played by Annabelle Dexter-Jones.
Adeline has stepped away from their family, and whatever dark things they do. But the family isn’t happy with her decision. And if she isn’t going to come back willingly, they’re going to make her.
What worked
To start with, I loved the character, Adeline. She is fierce, she is fearless, and relentless. I feel like this would have been a far different story if Adeline had been our main character. It was astounding to see her interact with the same people Anna has, and get a completely different response. It’s clear now, how much everyone around Anna resents her for simply not being Adeline.
I also appreciated that there was just a shocking amount of blood in this episode. From the start when Adeline and Sonia are born, to the climactic end of Adeline, this episode is just drenched in blood.
Finally, I’m fascinated by the changes in this season from the book it’s based on. Because absolutely none of this was in the book. Compared to this, the book is heartwarming.
The book is kind of heartwarming even without the comparison.
But I love the fact that, even with just two episodes left in the season, I have no idea what’s going to happen. I do not know what Anna is carrying. I do not know if she’s going to survive this. I do not know what these people want with her.
But I can’t wait to find out.
What didn’t work
All that being said, it is a bit frustrating to have no forward momentum in this episode. This was all backstory, and it felt like there wasn’t enough backstory to fill a full forty minutes. Because of that, it dragged. There were a lot of scenes that just didn’t need to be as long as they were. It felt like they could have cut that down considerably, and had some time to check in with our main characters at either the start or the end of the episode.
There are only two episodes left in the season, and I can honestly say I have no idea what’s going to happen. But so far the story has been dark, bloody, and provocative. So I hope they can manage to end it on a high note.
(4 / 5)
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