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Launched in October of 2023, Suburban Screams is the latest project by acclaimed horror master John Carpenter. It’s a true crime/unsolved mystery series covering events that have terrified people living in, you guessed it, the suburbs.

The story

Our first episode, titled Kelly, is the story of two roommates named Dan and Joey. The actual Dan and Joey tell the story from their own perspective, interspersed with dramatic reenactments. This did feel very much like an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.

One night when Dan and Joey have their girlfriends over, they decide to play with an Ouija board. Since they don’t have one, Dan makes one on a pizza box, complete with a planchette. This is, of course, when things go terribly wrong.

Still from Suburban Screams, Kelly.

Honestly, I have never heard anyone say, “I had a great time with that Ouija board, I’m really glad we did that.”

The couples make contact with a spirit named Kelly. This is very upsetting to Dan’s girlfriend May, as she had a cousin named Kelly who went missing and is presumed dead.

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Dan then finds himself haunted by Kelly. He throws up water, finds his kitchen chairs stacked on the table, and is followed around by a haunting song. Dan feels like he won’t find peace until he helps Kelly find peace.

What worked

There was a lot to enjoy in this first episode. Specifically, I loved the horror visuals. Dan’s vision was very creepy, as an example. And I loved the shots of the body floating down the river. These images were eerie and upsetting.

The storytelling from Dan and Joey was also well done. While I have my doubts about the validity of this story, these two men believe wholeheartedly in what they’re saying. I certainly believe that they experienced something disturbing. Either that or they are some fantastic actors.

What didn’t work

That being said, some things rubbed me the wrong way in this episode.

I’d like to start with the herbs Joey burned during the Ouija session. It looked like sage, or maybe sweetgrass.

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As some of you might know, I am a practicing witch. So I do feel the need to point out that if you want to open a door and invite spirits in, you probably don’t want to be burning sage or sweetgrass as those are going to negate any spiritual activity. This was for sure the action of someone who does not know what the hell they are doing. It just irritated me.

Also, maybe don’t throw open a door indiscriminately to the spirit world. Just saying.

I also didn’t love the acting by Ben Walton-Jones, who played Dan. While it wasn’t a terrible job, the character felt overacted. I don’t know how he had room for that pizza, since he was chewing the scenery most of the episode.

Honestly, this episode felt a little underproduced. When I saw John Carpenter’s name, I was expecting something with some real production value. Great acting, great effects, great music. None of those were in effect here. I’m not sure where their budget went, because it didn’t go to any of the things it should have.

Is it true?

So that brings us to the big question. Do I think this story is true?

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Well, it is verifiable that Kelly Lynn Fitzpatrick was a young woman who unfortunately was found dead in 1999 in Quebec. The rest of the story, so far as I can find, is up to speculation.

Do I believe someone could contact the dead on an Ouija board they made out of a pizza box? Yes, I do. Because Dan made it with his own hands it might have worked better than a store-bought board. But do I think he was haunted to this extent by the spirit of Kelly?

Well, I would say that I believe this about as much as I believe the story of the Amityville house. Something certainly happened here, but I am sure that the details shared in this episode of Suburban Screams are highly overblown.

In the end, while I did have fun watching this episode, this fun was tainted. I would have enjoyed it more if it was presented as a fictional story loosely based on real-life events. Because that is almost certainly what it was.

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3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Dexter Original Sin, Miami Vice serves justice and alligators

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Episode of Dexter, Original Sin felt very much like an episode of the original series. And I mean that in the best way possible.

The story

This episode picks up where the last one left off. Dexter is coming down from his post kill high, and looking for another victim. He finds one in Tony Ferrer, a violent loan shark who murdered an innocent woman over a loan taken out by her son.

While Dexter does his due diligence, Deb deals with high school girl problems. She wants to be the captain of her volleyball team. But as with most things in high school, this is a popularity contest. To get a leg up on her opponent, she tells the team that she can score cocaine for a movie night at her house. Dexter agrees to help her if she can get Nurse Mary’s earrings back from her friend Sophia. He makes homemade cocaine with a recipe I’ll not be listing here.

Patrick Gibson and Molly Brown in Dexter Original Sin.

Don’t do this, kids. This is how teens (and people in their twenties) die.

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The episode finishes with Dexter catching his prey, first menacing the loan shark with jai alai balls. These balls move so fast that Dexter manages to cut Ferrer’s cheek in a way that will be very familiar to long-time viewers.

What is not familiar is Dexter’s means of body disposal. While I was thrilled to see Ferrer fed to the alligators (they are big swamp puppies and deserve a good meal) they don’t always eat a whole body. And part of Ferrer remains, floating to the surface. So that’s two kills so far, and two obvious pieces of evidence left behind.

What worked

This episode shone because of the attention to detail. For instance, when Masuka makes Dex a fake ID, he could have put any name there. He could have put Joseph Smith or Jack Torrance. Instead, he picks the name Patrick Bateman. Of course, this is the main character of the astounding novel American Psycho. But they also chose a famous psycho who just happens to have the same first name as our actor. It’s just that extra level of thought that makes it so much richer.

I also love, but also hate, that Deb’s friend Sophia has a crush on Dexter. She seems like a good young woman, a loyal friend to Deb, and just a kid with her head on straight. And, well, we know what happens to women who get involved with Dexter. RIP, Rita. I hate to say it, but I don’t predict that Sophia will survive the series. And that anticipation makes every scene with her in it more tense.

We were also introduced to one of the original series characters that had been missing, Maria LaGuerta.

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LaGuerta was a mixed bag for me in Dexter. She was certainly using her position of power to sexually harass Dexter and abuse Deb. She also seemed more concerned with climbing the political ladder than actually helping people.

I actually loved LaGuerta’s story arc through the series, because we saw her go from this selfish, politically motivated person to someone who legitimately puts herself in harm’s way to protect people. She goes from being Deb’s personal antagonist to her pseudo-mentor. So, I am thrilled with the way she’s being portrayed in Original Sin.

Christina Milian and James Martinez in Dexter Original Sin.

Yes, LaGuerta is more than willing to jump in front of a camera and run her mouth if it’ll help her get something she wants. But what she wants is for people to actually care about victims who don’t happen to be white. What she wants is to be in a position of power so she can start changing things for the better.

Which is fantastic! I can’t wait to see what she does.

Finally, I want to shine some well-deserved light on Patrick Gibson. He must have watched every episode of Dexter as many times as I have because he has Michael C. Hall’s physical mannerisms down pat. The way he moves is so similar, it’s uncanny. And that is a wonderful touch that I cannot help but admire.

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What didn’t work

The only thing I didn’t enjoy about this episode was small. In the middle of the episode, Dexter is making dinner for his family. And it’s an almost shot-for-shot rendition of the original intro.

Now, this sort of thing was clever at first. But we’re three episodes in. We can knock it off now.

So far, Dexter Original Sin has been a lot of fun. This episode exemplified why Dexter is so well-loved. A bad person suffers the consequences of his terrible actions.

And I think that’s beautiful.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Dexter Original Sin Gets Darker with Kid In A Candy Store

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Episode two of Dexter, Original Sin, was just as wonderful as the first. As a long-time Dexter fan, I find it added so much to the background of the story. And if you’re a new fan, I promise you won’t feel left behind.

The story

At the start of our episode, Dexter is learning the ropes of his new internship at Miami Metro. He’s getting a little hazing but is learning how to fit in.

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Patrick Gibson in Dexter Original Sin.

Especially when he starts digging into the old files and finding new playmates for his Dark Passenger.

Meanwhile, Deb is struggling. She feels underappreciated and ignored at home. So, she decides to steal some jewelry from around the house for some quick spending money. Having little in the house in the way of jewelry, she happens upon a pair of earrings in Dexter’s room.

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Nurse Mary’s earrings, to be specific.

And finally, in what will probably be the storyline for the series, a little boy is kidnapped. While he looks like a victim from the first episode of Dexter, or at least dressed in the same school uniforms, we soon find out that he’s the son of a judge. And his kidnapping might have something to do with the death of Dexter’s biological mother.

What worked

I’ve often complained about slow episodes in a TV season or mini-series. The episodes that just don’t have anything going for them. The episodes that are needed to set up the story, but otherwise are kind of dull.

This is an example of that sort of episode done well. It is true that there were no murders in this episode. There was only one dead body, and it was already dead when we got there.

But that didn’t mean the episode was uninteresting. There was character development. There was comedy. And most importantly, it had a storyline that had a satisfying conclusion. Specifically, Deb stealing Dexter’s trophy earrings and trying to sell them.

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Patrick Gibson, Molly Brown and Christian Slater in Dexter Original Sin.

This little storyline worked on so many levels. One, it heightens tension because we know those earrings can lead the police to Dexter for the murder of Nurse Mary. Two, it shows how frustrated Deb is with her life and how far she will go to have a little fun. Three, it shows how far she won’t go when she refuses to sell her mother’s pearls. And four, it gives us a satisfying beginning, middle, and end of a story while we’re doing the necessary work of laying a foundation for the rest of the series. This was a masterclass in subplots.

I also want to point out that, so far, this series works by itself as much as it works as a prequel. I would watch Dexter Original Sin if I’d never heard the name Dexter Morgan before. And while it certainly benefits from its predecessors, it isn’t only relying on that.

What didn’t work

All that being said, I’m afraid there is still one glaring issue with this series. I hate Gellar’s character.

Yes, I am biased. But hear me out.

Tanya is supposed to be Dexter’s mentor. She got him the job as a paid intern. It would stand to reason that she did that because she wanted to take him under her wing. And yes, I am aware that a certain kind of teacher likes to knock their students down a peg or two. But she seems more interested in proving what a Strong Female she is to this college student than actually teaching him.

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And frankly, this is some of the most sexist stuff I’ve ever seen on Dexter. This show has a long history of being pretty good about gender relations. It passes the Bechdel test. All of the female characters have flaws, strengths, and personalities. It’s almost like they’re, gasp, real people. None of them have been the girl hero with no personality other than being the Strong Female until Tanya was introduced. And given how similar she is to Buffy, and how unlike the rest of the cast this character is, I sense some meddling from Gellar herself.

Do better.

I am so pumped for the rest of this mini series. It is clear that everyone working on this series, except Gellar, are huge fans of the original show. Everyone is going a great job, the story is great, and I cannot wait to see what happens next.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Heretic: ‘It’s a simple choice that should not be made simply: Belief or Disbelief?’

‘It’s a simple choice that should not be made simply: Belief or Disbelief?’

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A24‘s chilling religious horror film, Heretic, arrived in theatres this November, forcing viewers to confront the unsettling line between faith and doubt. Directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, this edge-of-your-seat thriller will leave audiences deeply disturbed as Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) pass over the threshold of Mr. Reed’s (Hugh Grant) home where they undergo a terrifying experience that shatters their beliefs.

The Plot.

Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton are Mormon missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As the opening scenes roll they are visiting houses in an unnamed, rural Colorado town. These houses are from a list of people who have shown interest in joining the church. After being rejected and ignored several times, they arrive at the door on Mr. Reed, a pleasant gentleman who invites them in the discuss the church, promising his wife is home in the kitchen to put the Sister’s minds at ease.

Welcoming the women to sit in his living room, Mr. Reed initiates what amounts to be an awkward conversation, questioning the faith of the missionaries. Sensing that something is amiss, with Mr. Reed’s wife still not coming to meet them and a storm brewing outside, the women decide it is time to leave. Sneaking to the front door when Mr. Reed leaves the room they find the front door locked, and the only way out is to go deeper into the strange house.

Highlights.

I have never really understood the appeal of Hugh Grant. I found him lackluster in Love Actually and just plain annoying in Bridget Jones’s Diary. After watching Heretic though I think the problem is that his career focus has been on the wrong genre. Hugh Grant is terrifying, but not in the conventional sense, in the creepy religious uncle that you only see on Boxing Day sense. It might be in the jerky way Mr. Reed walks, or the near-whispered dialogue throughout the movie. Also, whoever put Mr. Reed in those glasses is a genius, they give chilling Jeffrey Dahmer vibes.

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I must also note the intense monologues that Hugh Grant delivers in Heretic. It is hard to take your eyes off him. The ideas and theories that are presented are not unknown and rather convincing. I was surprised to find myself nodding in agreement with an obviously deranged and hostile character.

Drawbacks.

It is hard to explain the main drawback of this movie without spoiling the ending, but let me try. The explanation and big reveal at the end of Heretic was a bit… on the nose. I just couldn’t hitch myself to that wagon. I understand what the writer was trying to say. That there are people who have such strong faith that they are willing to give up their lives to prove the belief true. It is the way this is presented in the plot however… I didn’t like it and wonder if there might have been another way to present this idea.

The Final Take.

Ahh, how I loved this movie. Never mind National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Krampus or Die Hard, Heretic is my new favorite Christmas film. There is nothing more to be said.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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