Coven? We get to talk about Coven? Which means I get to re-watch Coven?

Okay, I might be biased. But this is easily my favorite season of AHS. It’s got witches, great music, New Orleans. And, some of the sickest real-life horrors in America’s history.

This season comes right out of the gate with one of the evilest, sick, twisted bitches of all time; Dauphine LaLaurie.

I’m going to point out here that this episode got a lot of facts wrong about this twisted bitch. If you’re interested in the real historical facts check out this episode of Off The Bone. That being said, I am going to try my best to not point out all of the historical inaccuracies in this episode and this season. 

I said try. I may not succeed. 

What is historically accurate is that Dauphine LaLori was a full-scale monster. She tortured people in her home, dragging enslaved people up to her attic of horrors. And that’s exactly where we start in this season. With the gruesome torture of a man who her daughter was coming on to.

Fast forward to the present day, and we meet Zoe. She’s an average teenager, doing average teen stupid stuff. Like inviting her boyfriend into her room to get frisky. This all goes bad real fast when the guy dies underneath her.

This is how Zoe finds out that she’s a witch, with the power to kill a man she has sex with. 

I was a little put off by this particular gift the first time I saw the season. But I’ve come around to it.

A girl turning into a woman and embracing her sexuality has long been a subject of absolute terror. Stories of poltergeist and clairvoyance being tied to a first menstrual cycle abound. Even the original Salem Witch Trials were kicked off largely by girls of about that age. So this makes perfect sense to me. Besides, who isn’t scared as hell about what’s going to happen their first time.

Zoe is sent to a boarding school for teen girls. There she meets her new sisters. Nan, a girl with clairvoyance who loves to tattle on everyone. Queenie, a living voodoo doll who despises bullies. And Madison, a teen actress with telekinesis. 

It’s Madison that get’s the trouble started. She invites Zoe to crash a frat party. There, Zoe meets Kyle. 

Kyle is played by Evan Peters. Zoe is played by Taissa Farmiga. So romantic fools like me felt like it was Violet and Tate, meeting again across universes and times. 

All that cute shit mood is wrecked when Madison is roofied and raped. 

There was so much going on in this episode. I didn’t even get into talking about Fiona brutally killing a doctor because he can’t give her anti-aging drugs.

Honestly, Killer Queens, I am so excited about this season. It’s so much fun, and we are just getting started. 

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