What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, Killer Queens? Was it done out of desperation? I bet it was. Most of the really bad decisions we make in our lives come as acts of wild desperation. 

Would you like to guess how many characters are going to realize that to their deficit this episode? Spoiler, most of them.

We start the episode with Nan’s funeral. Misty is missing, but no one but Madison knows why. Madison’s the first one making some really stupid decisions. She thinks she’s done away with Misty, but I think we all know that won’t last long. Now, she’s got Zoe in her sights. Not just because Zoe’s powerful enough to become the next supreme. But because they’re fighting over Kyle. Well, that’s not exactly true. Fighting insinuates that there’s a battle to win. 

Zoe’s already won Kyle’s heart. Which just melted mine. 

Cordelia is still spiraling. After a rough conversation with Queenie, Cordelia can’t stand feeling useless anymore. She decides that it was losing her sight that gave her visions. So, logically stabbing her eyes out with pruning shears should give her those same visions back, right? We don’t know yet. Since she did that, we haven’t heard anything from her.

But this intentional maiming brings Myrtle to a horrifying realization. The woman she raised as a daughter is willing to do anything to protect their coven. Their self-loathing, hateful coven full of backstabbing and betrayal. Myrtle can’t leave, it’s too late for her. But she’s going to do what she can. She gives Zoe an expensive broach and tells her to run away with Kyle. And for once on this show, a teenager listens to an adult.

But I kind of glazed over an important fact earlier. Yes, Queenie is alive. She was shot with a silver bullet and lived. And she put Dauphine LaLaurie back together. Even brought her back to the school on a leash.

Dauphine, it seems, isn’t as far removed from her old ways as hoped. She finds herself unfulfilled, taking care of the witches in the house. She needs a creative outlet, something to fill her time. 

An innocent man to chop into little pieces is just what she needed. 

We’ve only got two more episodes in this season, Killer Queens. I don’t know how many of the witches will remain standing after the smoke clears. But with the power coming from all of these girls, it’s going to be a wonder if they don’t take out plenty of bystanders. 

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