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For those who haven’t seen it yet, the fourth episode of American Horror Story Delicate was an experience. In true American Horror Story fashion, it left me almost speechless.

Almost. Clearly, I found at least a few things to say about it, Killer Queens.

The Story

We begin this episode with a classic American Horror Story flashback. We see a queen just after labor, with a baby she says is a monster. This monster is collected by two familiar faces, who curse the queen’s sister with barrenness before leaving both women screaming in the birth chamber.

Back in the present, Siobhan is worried about Anna’s image. So she brings in two image consultants, Ashley and Ashleigh. We saw them earlier in the episode as well. In the birth chamber.

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Leslie Grossman and Billie Lourd in American Horror Story Delicate.

But Anna’s image isn’t the only thing she’s worried about. Her mother-in-law has invaded their New York apartment. She’s been staying there. And she isn’t there to support her son and daughter-in-law through their miscarriage. No, she wants Dex’s help suing her ex-husband. Because she believes that, wait for it, he Satanically abused her. And she only knows about it now because of repressed memory therapy.

So, you know, she’s suing him. She’s also not exactly thrilled with the idea of Anna having a baby, referring to a baby as an accessory.

She said this to her son. Her baby.

Too bad she isn’t on board, because it turns out that Anna was right. She is still pregnant. After browbeating Dex and Dr. Hill, she’s finally given another sonogram. And there it is, a heartbeat.

By the way, yes vanishing twin syndrome is a thing.

But is it the beat of a human child’s heart? I don’t think we can safely assume that.

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What Worked

Let’s start with Dex’s mom, Virginia, played by Debra Monk. She is frankly everyone’s worst idea of a mother-in-law. And in interacting with her, we finally see Dex stand up for Anna a little bit. We see a side of him that is, if not exactly likable, sympathetic. I feel bad for him. He was never shown what a healthy relationship looked like in his childhood. And his mother’s still dragging him into her twisted drama as an adult.

I still don’t like him.

Matt Czuchry in American Horror Story Delicate.

Then, there was that cringy my body reel. This was done perfectly. The video comes off as unrealistic, inauthentic, and gross. Every woman included in this video celebrating women’s bodies was thin, beautiful, and cisgender. The whole thing came off TERF’y in my opinion.

That was the point! It was supposed to be gross, exploitative bullshit because it’s another example of how Anna still isn’t allowed to make her own decisions about her body and how she’s represented. It’s also a perfect parody of how modern society pretends to care about women’s issues while having only the barest idea of what those issues might be.

It’s almost as bad as giving a Pepsi to a cop during a protest and stopping racism. Who would agree to do an ad like that?

Also, I don’t know if Ashley and Ashleigh are supposed to be a reference to the Ashleys from Recess, but I can hope.

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A still from Disney's Recess.

Finally, let’s talk about the gross-out factor in this episode. Because it was strong! We’ve seen a lot of blood this season, which is fine. But the raccoon incident was next level. It was horrific and made even seasoned horror fans cringe.

I hope no one had spaghetti for dinner last night, Killer Queens.

If a piece of horror content has nothing going for it but the gore factor, it fails. But, if there are no gross-out moments, it’s hard to say it’s part of the genre at all. This episode of American Horror Story found a happy medium. Placing several well-done moments of blood and grossness among scenes of beautiful people and beautiful places. Like a maggot in a dish of delicious food.

What didn’t work

Now, let’s talk about another gross scene that didn’t work out as well. Siobhan and Hamish’s bedroom scene was awful.

I mean, the acting was fine I guess. But the whole concept of the two of them sleeping together for some sort of career gain was upsetting.

Here’s the part that upset me the most about this situation. There is a strong insinuation in this scene that Anna’s breakout movie was a breakout because Siobhan orchestrated it. That Anna’s sudden rise had nothing to do with her being talented. That she’s simply chosen as a pawn in whatever game Siobhan is playing. And I hate that.

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I hate that once again, Anna doesn’t belong to herself.

There’s just one episode left in part one of American Horror Story Delicate. I don’t at this point know the launch date for part two, only that it’s going to be sometime in 2024. So at this point, there are a lot of questions without answers. And I’m sure next week’s mid-season finale will only give us more.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Goosebumps, Stay Out Of The Basement Pt 2, could have just been one part

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We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.

Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.

The story

We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.

David Schwimmer in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.

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I sure would have liked to see more about that.

Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.

Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.

Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.

What worked

The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.

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The series is called Goosebumps, after all.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.

To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.

 Francesca Noel in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.

Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.

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I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.

Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.

Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.

I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.

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All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Thriller Nite, Poem by Jennifer Weigel Plus

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So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)

The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
 
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
 
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
 
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.

Robot Dance found subverted street art altered photography from Jennifer Weigel's Reversals series
Robot Dance from Jennifer Weigel’s Reversals series

So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.

For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.

Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.
Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.

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Dexter Original Sin sees Dex’s first date and third kill in The Joy of Killing

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Episode six of Dexter Original Sin brings us Dex’s third kill, making him officially a serial killer.

Yay!

The story

This episode dealt with many things. The first, and clearly most interesting, is the kidnapping of Nicky Spencer, the police captain’s son, whom we met a few episodes ago.

This loss has sent the entire police force into an uproar. They need to find the killer fast before Nicky’s found hanging from a bridge.

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Unfortunately, Harry’s still on the sidelines for this one, after horribly messing up the case against Levi Reed. He’s instead working with LaGuerta in a case regarding a dead homeless man. Despite the different victims, types of death, and the fact that they don’t appear to be related at all. Except that Dexter believes they are. They are, in fact, the first murderers of a blossoming serial killer. Just like him.

Before Dex can lean into this investigation, though, he’s drug along on a double date with Deb, Sophia and Gio. And here, we see the first shadows of danger from Gio. Shadows that will almost certainly turn into a monster.

Patrick Gibson and Raquel Justice in Dexter Original Sin.

What worked

I would first like to acknowledge that, despite my irritations, Gellar did well in this episode. She didn’t have Whedon’like one-liners. She didn’t exist to give snappy comebacks with a side of girl boss.

She looked as though she’d aged. She was serious. She behaved like a real person who felt terrible about what was happening.

And, just to shout out the costume department, she looked washed out. Yes, that is a good thing. Let me explain.

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White is not a good color on her. At least not that shade. It made her look bad. This is not something that Sarah Michelle Gellar would choose to wear.

But it is something that Tanya Martin would choose to wear. And I love that. I love when shows and movies let people look bad because they’re more interested in being true to the character and not focusing on everyone looking as hot as possible at all times.

I also want to discuss Gio, Deb’s boyfriend.

Gio scares me. And I think that most women watching this will feel the same way.

Not girls. Not teenagers or even some young women. But adult women, I’m willing to bet, do not like Gio after this episode.

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It was the scene at the bar. The part where he got in the face of the guy who spilled Deb’s drink. There was danger in that scene. Gio didn’t want an apology. He didn’t want to make sure Deb was okay. He didn’t even want the drink replaced. He wanted a reason to hurt that stranger. Because at that moment he was furious. And the only way to handle that fury for him was pain.

Gio is a very dangerous man. I’ll be very surprised if this season doesn’t end with Dexter having to take him out.

What didn’t work

At this point, we have a lot going on. We have Nicky’s kidnapping. We have Dexter finding himself as a serial killer. We have the flashback storyline with Laura and Harry. We have the dangerous Gio and the likely in-danger Sophia. And we have these murders of drifters and homeless people that the team is now investigating.

Christian Slater and Christina Milian in Dexter Original Sin.

That’s a lot. It’s more than what can be followed comfortably. And that doesn’t even consider the one or two-episode arches like Levi, Nurse Mary or Tony Ferrer. A lot is going on, and a lot to keep track of. And it’s hard to believe, seeing what we’ve seen from this franchise and knowing what we know about how they handle endings, that these are all going to have satisfying endings. Especially since I haven’t heard anything about a season two.

We have four episodes left in this season, and I am expecting the storylines to start heating up. As of right now, we have way too many that don’t have enough to do with each other. But as we get closer to episode ten, I would expect these loose threads to knot together and form a noose around the neck of our dashing Dexter.

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3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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