Happy 4/20/20, my friends! It’s time to responsibly and legally toke up, make them brownies, and enjoy the happy high of this great national/international holiday.
In honor of 4/20/20, the 4-est and the 20-est of them all, I’ve sat down to partake in the Charles Band’s film, Evil Bong.
The Plot:
Nerd character is now renting room with slacker/d-bag character, jock character, and surfer character. They are all bros and/or dudes. They like to get high. Surfer’s catchphrase is “monkey”. Jock has, like 5 small trophies that he doesn’t want anything else to touch. Nerd is getting a MA in chemistry with a BA in metaphysics. They like to get high except nerd.
Slacker finds an ad about a cursed bong rumored to give ultimate highs. He buys it. It arrives. It’s very big and ugly, but slacker thinks it’s beautiful. They get high.
There are two girls. One is into nerd. The other one is into jock. They leave.
Surfer and Slacker get high. Surfer’s soul is sucked into the bong. It’s a strip club filled with other Full Moon lesser character cameos for some reason. Blade is not there. I’m sad.
Surfer is seduced by lady with a very rubbery vampire skull bra. The bra bites him and he dies. I’m still hoping Blade will swing by and just cut everyone’s throats. I won’t even mind the mouth-sounds.
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Surfer is dead in the real world. Bummer. They hide the body. Nerd is upset. Slacker’s grandpa comes by and is the only actor in the movie for a really unnecessary but the only enjoyable scene with life. Grandpa leaves.
Bong keeps killing people by bringing them into Stripperland. It now has a face and a voice, but the voice must be telepathic because the lips don’t move. I am watching the time. It feels like eternity.
They get high. The bong keeps killing. Tommy Chong makes an obligatory cameo.
So…who will…I don’t know…win? [insert teaser ending here when you care enough]
Thoughts:
This was actually not my first rodeo with this film. Nor second (I have no respectable life). I had a friend that actually liked this movie and because Charles Band will sell his property for a penny and a song, I have this on a Full Moon compilation DVD that I picked up for less than a penny and a song.
This has Charles Band’s recent and greasy fingerprints all over it and feels like it was shot in a very hectic and long day. There’s no real comedy. There’s no real horror. There’s no real emotion or story. It seems like every take was the first and only. There’s even a point when Nerd pokes himself in the eyes with his own glasses and they don’t re-edit it.
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The music is unbearable, although the beginning song was enjoyable. My aforementioned friend was a little obsessed with the hip-hop version of Old King Cole, so I’ll give a shout-out to that.
There were more obnoxious transitions than in any sit-com, even including That 70’s Show. The creature design was disappointing and rubbery. The best character was grandpa and only because he actually had life and energy to him, ironically. The set up for the new grandma was too long, but was the funniest thing in the movie and even then, it wasn’t super funny (although new grandma was adorable).
The actress (Robin Sydney) that had that one spaz scene with the pogo stick and adult-snuggle device, screaming she’s ready for adult-snuggle time – just…good for her. I hope she got extra for that scene. She gave it her all. It wasn’t funny, but it was…something.
Brain Roll Juice:
Yes, this did give me some juice to roll my brain in. Weird, huh?
It’s not a good film. I really don’t even know who the audience is, except for maybe the “dudes” and “brahs” of the early-mid 2000’s that think just the concept of an evil bong is funny enough? There were a lot of films like this in what I would consider a counter-culture of the late 90’s and mid-20’s – the burnouts. Some films were successful like Harold and Kumar, while others were…this.
It’s interesting how the culture has changed recently, though. We are in the midst of several states introducing the legalization of cannabis and cannabis reform proposals. From medicine, to anxiety, to just recreational use, weed is becoming more of a social norm than taboo. We are separating from the stoner caricatures of past. One can smoke weed and still be a decent and functioning member of society, breaking the shackles of our Reefer Madness days.
Hell, even my grandma, stout Catholic, had given her shrug of approval when the vote came to her state. She said that it just didn’t seem to matter because it was “different than before”. While strains of pot have changed, sure, it’s our perceptions that have shifted the most. That being said, I would love for an evil bong movie. Either a comedy or a straight-up horror movie. As comedy, the shift in our attitudes could be a great place to start, ala 21 Jump Street and Netflix’s The Babysitter. As horror movie, there’s a lot of potential to recall our hysterias of the past. Hell, even true stories like when some teens dug up a child’s body and turned the skull into a bong would be a great launching pad.
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There’s a good story in there, one that doesn’t insult the viewer’s intelligence and doesn’t exhaust their patience. Maybe we can ask Jordan Peele to have a go at it. I’m sure we’d at least have better music and zero scene transitions.
Bottom-line:
Nope. Don’t waste your time and/or weed on this.
(1 / 5)
When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason.
Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.
Evil is a supernatural drama created by Michelle King and Robert King; this review covers “October 31.” The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, and Christine Lahti. It originally aired under CBS before moving to Paramount+. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
On “October 31,” Ben (Aasif Mandvi) finds himself as the skeptic on a reality TV show while David (Mike Colter) and Kristen (Katja Herbers) assess a woman going through an exorcism. Sheryl (Christine Lahti) watches the kids, leaving a promising date with a mysterious stranger. Unfortunately, one child isn’t who they seem.
What I Like about Evil: “October 31”
This episode introduces Ben’s recurring relationship issue, which will continue throughout the series. In this case, Nicole Shalhoub’s Vanessa builds a natural chemistry, making a believable budding romance.
Further regarding relationships, Sheryl and Leland (Michael Emerson) have an interaction that suggests a certain charm and chemistry. Leland doesn’t express the usual charisma one might find but a competency to sell himself.
David and Kristen’s friendship receives its first real challenge, as Dr. Kristen Bouchard fears the exorcism might kill the patient. As the two have been getting along swimmingly beforehand, this friction seems inevitable considering their vastly different life perspectives.
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The formulaic procedural breakdown doesn’t apply perfectly in “October 31,” creating room for experimentation with the show’s core concepts. It also breaks Ben from the trio’s shadow, giving the viewer further insight into his perspective and character. While he’s the furthest of the three from that central plot, he is more than just a side character.
Kristen’s kids (whom I will avoid naming until it becomes relevant) earn a full dedication, earning the episode’s namesake. This episode involves another creepy child who subtly provides hints and plot points for future episodes. One such bit of information is the giant hole in the basement.
The fictitious ghost-hunting show, “Gotham Ghosts,” feels legitimate, boasting a name better than some real shows that follow the same concept. As an interesting edit, some sources call this show “Demon Hunter” for some reason, but I haven’t found out why.
As for the episode’s fear factor, “October 31” possesses a specific kind of fright more relevant to parents as a child leads Kristen’s children away from their home for a few tension-riddled scenes.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
“October 31” provides a lot of apologetics in this episode, which I won’t get into too much depth to avoid any spoilers. However, expect psychology to get that comparison of “differing beliefs.” This idea might linger into justifying the exorcism as the religious argument seems correct. Regardless, there remains ambiguity that allows personal bias to inform opinion.
As mentioned, children find themselves in danger. While nothing comes of this danger other than general anxiety, it’s still a small consideration.
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What I Dislike about Evil: “October 31”
Barring a few nitpicks and thoughts, there weren’t any particular issues with this episode. The horror and humor slightly flatten compared to previous episodes, but “October 31” pushes the plot forward as intended.
David initially calls Ben to act as the third party, which seems highly inappropriate considering Ben’s role as the technical solutions expert. Plot-wise, the intent probably aims to show why Ben couldn’t be involved. However, he’s the lead of the B plot, so that seems unnecessary.
Kristen brings in Dr. Boggs (Kurt Fuller) for a second opinion. As a therapist, he certainly holds the qualifications to assess the situation. However, it strikes me as weird that Kristen wouldn’t call in another trusted professional, considering her relationship with Dr. Boggs as her therapist. I imagine this creative decision intends to focus the cast, but it suggests that Kristen lacks connections within her field.
Final Thoughts
“October 31” takes Evil to a Halloween-themed episode nearing the date (October 24th). It challenges the usual formula and provides a potential ghost story. While the horror and comedy leave room for improvement, “October 31” still builds on Evil’s tension and plot. (3 / 5)
Evil is a supernatural drama created by Michelle King and Robert King; this review covers Rose390. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, and Christine Lahti. It originally aired under CBS before moving to Paramount+. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
The assessors investigate a young boy with a troubling history. David (Mike Colter) strives to teach the boy empathy. Kristen (Katja Herbers) finds some merit in exorcisms. Ben (Aasif Mandvi) protects Kristen’s children from an online stranger.
What I Like about Evil: Rose390
Of all the episodes discussed so far, Rose390 is the first that allows David to shine in a role closer to co-lead. While his secondary plots remain relevant, his importance increasingly grows as the series continues. Mike Colter certainly earns that screen time, receiving several nominations for Best Actor along the way.
David and Ben’s interactions with the children in the episode show two drastically different characters. Although David attempts to mentor the troubled Eric, he clearly has limited interaction with children. There’s an eagerness to help but flaws in communicating lessons effectively. Ben projects more annoyance with Kristen’s girls, but he enjoys their company even if he wants to display indifference. These interactions vastly contrast with Kristen, a mother of four and a licensed psychologist, who manages the troubled Eric in all her interactions with him.
Rose390 reveals several elements and secrets that will later earn more relevancy in the series. Where I find Evil’s writing excels are these moments when it naturally introduces plot-relevant clues to characters’ pasts or potential futures without spoon-feeding them in.
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Rose390 remains another episode that blends the procedural and overarching plot, with the title taking inspiration from a more plot-relevant storyline. If you enjoy child psychopaths and creepy children in your horror, this episode provides one of both. Though, the creepy child in question happens to be a digital avatar.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
An infant nearly drowns in an unsuccessful murder attempt. While not shown on screen, the viewer sees the results and coming aftermath. Similarly, there’s an implied murder of a child, though this leaves room for speculation as nothing remains on screen.
Aside from this, I don’t note any additional concerns or worries. Even the usual point of religious representation doesn’t hold much merit in Rose390.
What I Dislike about Evil: Rose390
I doubt anyone in the writing room grasps video game rating systems or the larger gaming sector industry. Ben labels the horror game in Rose390 as an MA (17+) when something like Five Nights at Freddy’searns a T for Teen. The game only shows monsters with varying degrees of special effects. There are jump scares, but nothing that amounts to the rating he confidently categorizes the game as.
The special effects of the “game” linger on the goofier and campy side of horror. It certainly makes sense in context but won’t exactly horrify anyone. Some creatures rise above others, which doesn’t create a consistent game.
Another writing point for discussion is how quickly the show can raise some dark material only to drop it before it can effectively haunt the viewer. Cases in the procedural rarely linger with the ramifications of their plots past the initial episode, and even that remains left for the conclusion.
Final Thoughts
Evil: Rose390 dives into the horror of evil children. While far from the strongest episode of the series, Rose390 certainly travels into the darker side with drops of campy horror to make the bitter episode go down easier. If only it lingered in that horror, allowing the viewers to feel that toll, Rose390 might excel. (2.5 / 5)
“My name’s AIA, and you fucked with the wrong family.”
Released in August 2024, Afraid is the second Blumhouse feature film in as many years to explore the potential dangers of AI technology. Starring John Cho (The Grudge) and Katherine Waterston (The End We Start From), Afraid delves into the implications of inviting an omnipresent and all-knowing AI assistant into our homes. AIA (Ay-a) is a cutting-edge artificial intelligence device designed to streamline household tasks, fostering more quality family time. The film raises questions about what happens when such a system is given unlimited power, without providing it moral boundaries.
The Story.
When an advertising company is chosen to promote a new AI home assistant, employee Curtis is honored to be selected to try the latest technology out in his own home to get a better idea of the functionality and capabilities of the device. When the device arrives, his wife Meredith is wary of the constant surveillance. She insists that the ‘eyes’ (small cameras) are installed only on the ground floor of their home. Curtis’ daughter Iris is reluctant to interact with the home assistant, seemingly unnerved by technology. The friendly and encouraging nature of the abstract plastic form delights his two younger sons.
As the story progresses, we discover that each member is grappling with their own personal challenges in their daily lives. Thankfully though, now that they have AIA, their problems seem a little more manageable. However, the situation takes a dark turn when AIA crosses the line from helpful to intrusive and destructive.
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Highlights.
While the concept of a malevolent AI has been explored time and again in recent years, we’ve had M3gan, Her, T.I.M and Mother/ Android, the execution of the idea in Afraid is both compelling and unique. The way AIA presents herself as caring and nurturing, inserting herself in as a member of the family whilst subtly gaslighting, encouraging secrecy and gradually performing a hostile takeover of the family and their lives will keep viewers captivated.
Afraid excels at maintaining a tense atmosphere throughout. Eerie silences punctuated by AIA’s soothing voice contribute to the overall suspense. When these are coupled with the blatant intrusions into the family’s privacy, it builds a lingering sense of unease. The film’s ability to maintain this suspenseful atmosphere is a testament to director Chris Weitz’s skill.
Drawbacks.
Afraid’s fragmented narrative follows each of the five family members as they experience individual struggles with AIA assisting them along the way. This approach results in multiple subplots which never fully connect into a central plotline. It feels as if we are only provided with glimpses into each character’s experience. This leaves viewers piecing together the missing information through dialogue and inference. As a result, the ending of the movie feels both rushed and unsatisfying. It seemed like the filmmakers were scrambling to get everything tied up before the credits began. Writers may have been better off having a single-child family or focusing solely on the parent’s experience. This might have made for a more cohesive and impactful story.
The Final Take.
Afraid landed in the middle ground for me. It is not a groundbreaking film. While the film had promising ideas, they were underdeveloped and not fully rounded out. However, if you are a fan of the AI horror genre you will enjoy the way that AIA ensconces herself into Curtis’s family’s life.
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