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We’re back with Joe Bob again this week at The Last Drive-In, exclusively on Shudder. Have you been watching them live? If not, you should really consider doing so and hopping on Twitter to join in the hashtag conversation at #TheLastDriveIn. It’s an incredible communal experience, and if I can take a moment to toot my own horn, it’s great to get retweets and the like from Joe Bob, Darcy, and the crew at Shudder.

https://twitter.com/hpkomic/status/1119436362078277633

Madman (1982)

Opening Rant: Staten Island (it’s like New York’s New Jersey!)

Madman is a 1982 slasher film set at a camp on Staten Island. The campers and counselors alike are menaced by “Madman” Marz, a former resident of the area who murdered his wife and child and was set to hang until he escaped into the woods. After a campfire tale he is unwittingly summoned by one of the campers. The film is loosely based on the Cropsey legend of Staten Island. Madman was also in production alongside The Burning (1981) and necessitated rewrites so the two films would not be so similar.

Madman stars Galen Ross (of Dawn of the Dead fame, under the name Alexis Dubin), Tony Fish, Harriet Bass, and Paul Ehlers as “Madman” Marz and directed by Joe Giannone. The film is probably most known for the iconic VHS cover.

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Thank you, VHSCollector.com

Joe Bob Briggs was fairly generous with Madman, awarding it 3 stars. The film is particularly notable for Galen Ross’s desire to not be linked to it and the fact that few of the cast and crew went on to do much else. That is, of course, contrasted by Paul Ehlers, “Madman” Marz himself, who was a huge horror fan and was bothered that Madman was never really featured in Fangoria. That being said, it certainly probably doesn’t help that we later see Joe Bob holding up a recent Fangoria cover featuring himself. Kind of rubbing it in there, Joe Bob. What comes across most in Joe Bob’s asides, though, is his love for the folks of Staten Island and his knowledge of the lives of #mozzarellahairgel folks. For example, Joe Bob’s insights into Richmond College, where a large group of the cast and crew came from, were also quite hilarious; statistically speaking, 98% of us reading now are likely to be accepted there.

That being said, Joe Bob also suggests that Madman is a great example of the Three Aristotelian Unities. I’m not going to dive too far into it here, but the key here is that Madman is a tight little film, unified in action (a massacre), location (a camp), and time (one night). For fun, read that link and see how the French debated endlessly about the specifics of these unities.

Madman does have a couple of memorable things going for it. The Moog synth score is pretty fun, and the theme is incredibly catchy. Sadly, most of the enjoyment of the movie comes from some of the more earnest attempts at something much better that fail. To invoke TVTropes we’ll just go with “narm.” Overall the film is only a 2 star affair. Most of the enjoyment of the film (especially if you are not already one of the huge fans of it) comes from watching with Joe Bob. This film is worth the price of admission alone for the wonderful Joe Bob sing-a-long to wrap up the half of the double-feature.

Glorious.

Best Line: “Google that fucker.” (Joe Bob’s motto, not part of the movie. There are no really good lines in the movie, to be honest.)

The most horrifying moment in Madman

Wolf Guy (1975)

Opening Rant: Japanese monster films (Joe Bob talks about the lack of monsters in Japan).

The second film of the night was the 1975 supernatural cop and Yakuza film, Wolf Guy. Though to be more accurate, the full title is Wolf Guy: Enranged Lycanthrope. The film was loosely based on the Wolf Guy manga written by Kazumasa Hirai and illustrated by Hisashi Sakaguchi. The film stars Sonny Chiba (!!!) as Akira Inugami, a supernaturally powered cop who uses his abilities as the last survivor of the Wolf Clan to solve underworld crimes. The movie directed (and largely forgotten) by Kazuhiko Yamaguchi also stars Rikiya Yasuoka, Saburo Date, Koji Fujiyama, Tooru Hanada, Ryuji Hayami, Jiro Ibuki.

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Of the two films of the week, Wolf Guy towers over Madman. Wolf Guy is a perfect film for The Last Drive-In with some amazingly totals, much like the Thanksgiving marathon’s Dead or Alive. I mean, 78 dead bodies, 26 breasts, and 27 gallons of blood definitely puts most films on The Last Drive-In to shame in sheer excess. Naturally, Joe Bob gave Wolf Guy the 4 star treatment.

Some of the great moments of the night included The Last Drive-In‘s art director Yuki (the Tokyo Cowboy) popping in to talk Japanese film with Joe Bob, including his experience working with Sonny Chiba. We were also treated to a special The Last Drive-In title-card featuring the show’s resident lizard, Ernie.

The Drive-In’s resident kaiju

Naturally, what was most fascinating were the insights that were made into the production of such a fast and loose adaptation of a manga with a b-movie budget, including director Kazuhiko Yamaguchi’s apparent philosophy of “just keeping it moving” by throwing in fight scenes.

When it gets down to the Haunted MTL review, this film is loosely horror adjacent. There are no transformations into lupine form and the film is more of a Yakuza and martial arts story that was in the standard for Toei Studios. It is a notable and unique interpretation of the werewolf, however. Overall, the film is absolutely bonkers in the best way imaginable and is well worth watching. The score, for example, is particularly good, featuring some great 1970s sleazy sounds. Haunted MTL has to give Wolf Guy 3 and 1/2 stars, merely because the film was not quite enough of a horror film.

But damn, what an experience.

Best Line: “Right now I am a woman who wants an animal.”

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The bullets just made him angry.

Drive-In Totals

  • 2 Black shirts with blue floral trim and an orange/slider bolo ties (Joe Bob wore the same getup on the Fangoria cover he displayed)
  • 1 Darcy Cosplay (Synthetic Wolf Guy!)
  • 1 Kaiju Rampage (Ernie messed up his little trailer and smashed the TV!)
  • 1 Awkward Spinning in Hot Tub Sex(?) Sequence
  • 1 Satisfying Neck Snap Foley Hit
  • 1 Reading Rainbow connection (and won’t you be surprised!)
  • 1 Wolf Mother-Wife
  • 1 Hair Trigger Final Girl Shotgun Blast to a Counselor Corpse
  • 2 Potential Future Films (The Burning and Willard)
  • 3 Aristotelian Unities
  • 4 Twitter Bans for Darcy (get your shit together, Jack)
  • 9 Sonny Chiba Films in 1975 Alone
  • 1060 dollars for Michael Barryman’s favorite wolf sanctuary raised by the signed figure auction from the Thanksgiving marathon
  • Attempting to Dislodge an Ax but Making It Look Like Vigorous Tandem Genital Rubbing Fu
  • Folk Song Fu
  • Suckle Fu
  • Synth Stings
  • Sonny Chiba Stares
  • Dive Bar Jokes
  • Catholic/Jewish Jokes
  • Sex Scene Face Maulings

As always, please share your thoughts with us about The Last Drive-In. Also, please check out our other great content here at Haunted MTL.

And, as always, beware the “Madman” Marz…

David Davis is a writer, cartoonist, and educator in Southern California with an M.A. in literature and writing studies.

Movies n TV

Smile 2: A Poor Rate Second.

“Break a leg out there.”

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Smile 2, a psychological supernatural horror, released in October 2024 just in time for Halloween, sees director Parker Finn (Smile, Laura Hasn’t Slept) return with a sequel starring Naomi Scott (Aladdin) as pop star and recovering addict Skye Riley. While Smile 2 boasts a talented cast, it ultimately falls short of its predecessor, offering a familiar storyline with minor variations and a predictable finale. The film attempts to introduce a new method to combat the parasitic ‘Smile Entity’, but this addition fails to elevate the sequel beyond a pale imitation of its chilling predecessor.

The Plot.

Smile 2 begins shortly after the end of the original; just six days after Rose Cotter’s death. During a short interlude scene, we watch as the now cursed Joel attempts to pass the Smile Entity on by killing one criminal in front of another. The plan backfires spectacularly, inadvertently passing the curse onto an innocent bystander named Lewis Fregoli.


The film then shifts gears, introducing Skye Riley, a singer and performer making a triumphant return to the spotlight with a comeback tour after a tumultuous past. During a candid interview on the Drew Barrymore Show, Skye opens up about her struggles with addiction and the devastating loss of her boyfriend in a car accident. Her sobriety journey, however, faces a severe setback when she seeks pain relief from her old high school friend, the unwitting Lewis Fregoli. In a chilling turn of events, Lewis takes his own life while Skye watches, passing the Smile Entity onto her.
Unaware of her new cursed existence Skye gets on with rehearsing for her tour, but she begins to notice that strange things are happening. People are smiling at her in an unnatural way and she becomes the target of anonymous attacks and aggressions. When text messages begin to arrive from an unknown number, Skye decides to get some answers.

Highlights.

Let’s not beat about the bush. I found Smile 2 difficult to finish and was struggling at about the hour-and-a-half mark to stay awake. That being said it’s worth watching because everyone needs to see the 3-minute scene of the ‘smilers’ chasing Skye through her apartment. This was possibly the creepiest thing I’ve seen on a screen.  The buildup, the synchronicity of the movement of the actors and their positioning, the camera work, and the lighting. I have rewatched it several times and it doesn’t get old. If you are only interested in watching this, fast forward to the 123-minute mark and get ready to be impressed.

Drawbacks.

Where do I start?

My primary concern with Smile 2 is its striking resemblance to its predecessor. The narrative follows a familiar pattern: an attractive woman fleeing a supernatural force, grappling with hallucinations, experiencing a mental health decline, and culminating in the revelation someone close to Skye was the Smiling Entity after all. This repetitive structure diminishes the film’s impact.

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While the introduction of a new method for shedding the entity initially offered a glimmer of hope this concept wasn’t fully realized. It just served to add names to the line of people that the entity has infected in the past.

Furthermore, the film’s pacing suffers from excessive focus on Skye’s musical career. Scenes showcasing her stage rehearsals and music videos, while intended to establish her identity as a performer, feel unnecessary and detract from the narrative momentum. Yes, we understand she’s a performer, you told us, you don’t need to prove it. These scenes appear to artificially inflate the film’s runtime, suggesting a lack of confidence in the core story.

The Final Take.

Ultimately, Smile 2 fails to expand upon the established lore of the franchise. The film’s conclusion feels contrived, with a blatant setup for a third installment. Hopefully, if a ‘Smile 3’ is inevitable, the creative team will bring fresh ideas and avoid simply retreading familiar ground.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

Both Cthulhu’s granted for that one scene.

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Movies n TV

Goosebumps, Stay Out Of The Basement Pt 2, could have just been one part

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We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.

Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.

The story

We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.

David Schwimmer in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.

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I sure would have liked to see more about that.

Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.

Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.

Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.

What worked

The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.

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The series is called Goosebumps, after all.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.

To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.

 Francesca Noel in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.

Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.

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I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.

Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.

Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.

I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.

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All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Thriller Nite, Poem by Jennifer Weigel Plus

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So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)

The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
 
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
 
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
 
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.

Robot Dance found subverted street art altered photography from Jennifer Weigel's Reversals series
Robot Dance from Jennifer Weigel’s Reversals series

So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.

For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.

Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.
Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.

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