Notes from The Last Drive-In: S1E8
There are two themes that link tonight’s films, and both are messy. First of all, we’re all about the “body melt” genre with tonight’s two features. However, grocery store anarchy is another theme you’ll see in both movies as well!
We’re back with Joe Bob again this week at The Last Drive-In, exclusively on Shudder. It’s important to note, Mutants, that as of this moment Shudder has not committed to renewing The Last Drive-In for another round, so what I ask is that you take a moment to tweet @shudder with your desire for more episodes. Don’t forget the hashtag #TheLastDriveIn either!
Also, can we say tweet of the night?
The Stuff (1985)
Opening Rant: Where did all the “Man-sized” Kleenex go?
The Stuff is a 1985 satirical science fiction horror film written, produced, and directed by Larry Cohen. Cohen’s name should be familiar if you’ve watched Q: the Winged Serpent, which was also in this season of The Last Drive-In. The story follows the discovery of a sweet, white substance that bubbles up from the ground and is later mass-marketed as an addictive and popular desert called “The Stuff.” A consortium of desert moguls who find themselves being pushed out by The Stuff hire a former F.B.I. agent and industrial spy by the name of David “Mo” Rutherford who discovers the danger and true nature of… The Stuff.
The film stars Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Garrett Morris and Paul Sorvino.
Review
Joe Bob is not the biggest fan of The Stuff only awarding it two and a half stars. On the other hand, Darcy is a huge fan and came out at the end of the episode dressed as a “Stuff” girl, so we have that to be thankful for. Yet, Joe Bob’s praise for the film was tepid at best. Mostly, he was confused by how many other people seem to love the film so much. To be fair though, he has a point. As great as Larry Cohen is, The Stuff is not his best work by a long shot. The story is filled with contrivances and as a whole the film is more of a collective of satirical sketches rather than a singular narrative
Yet, despite the issues with the movie, as always, Joe Bob Briggs delivers. In particular, as we’d learned a great deal about Larry Cohen during the airing on Q, Joe Bob spent time on Cohen’s TV writing career. However, the most interesting contributions provided by our host were outside of Larry Cohen in particular. For example, the discussing of the career of Garrett Morris, who plays “Chocolate Chip” Charlie in a great, hilarious performance. There was also a fond recollection of Robert Osborne at the Turner Studios. What was most important was Joe Bob’s introduction of the “body melt” genre of horror, which would be continued later with the second feature of the night.
Larry Cohen is a legend, of course, but we here at Haunted MTL can’t help but agree with Joe Bob in this case, awarding the film two stars. Though the very loose nature of the plot is a huge detriment to the film overall, what is in the movie can be very memorable. In particular, the goo effects are quite technically excellent for the time. What stands out most, however, is the sudden third act appearance of Paul Sorvino playing an Alex Jones-type militia leader. Paul Sorvino absolutely chews the scenery with aplomb that, frankly, overshadows the normally magnetic Michael Moriarty and the hilarious Garrett Morris.
Best Line: “Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.”
Street Trash (1987)
Opening Rant: The Joe Bob Wellness Regimen!
Based on a 10 minute short film, 1987’s Street Trash is a black body horror comedy and probably one of the grimiest movies ever made. The film was directed by J. Michael Muro, written by Roy Frumkes, and features a cast of near-literal unknowns. The film revolves around a community of New York homeless who live in a Greenpoint, Brooklyn junkyard, including a pair of brothers and a crazed Vietnam veteran who establishes a “kingdom” in the yard. Complications ensue, naturally, when an 60 year old box of “Tenafly Viper” liquor finds its way into the hands of the local vagrants and begins to melt them into brightly colored goo.
The film stars Mike Lackey, R. L. Ryan, and Vic Noto. But the real star of the show is a severed penis in the infamous “penis football” scene.
Review
There is a lot to say about Street Trash, but Joe Bob only gave the film two stars. That being said, there are two major takeaways about the behind-the-scenes talent of the film. First, the director of the film, J. Michael Muro is best known as one of the premiere Steadicam operators in the film industry. Indeed, one of the better host segments of the night features Joe Bob’s discussion of the Steadicam work in the film which in many ways was ahead of it’s time.
A second major area of interest was Roy Frumkes’ connection to an all-time horror legend. Frumkes formerly taught at the School of Visual Arts in New York, but is best known for Document of the Dead, a documentary feature that traces the filming of George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. He is also the screenwriter of all four of The Substitute films. Lastly, there was the revelation that Bryan Singer was production assistant on the film.
Plus, we can’t forget the addition of Mangled-Dick Expert Felissa Rose on the other end of the red phone line. As always, her conversations with Joe Bob are a treat.
Street Trash is not a great movie. It has a lot of the same issues that The Stuff did and Haunted MTL can only award the film two and a half stars. The film plays more like a series of shock sketches and there are some very strange choices in the narrative, such as the ending involving the mafia guys. That being said, the movie is memorable as hell with some hilarious effects and what is likely the least flattering depiction of 1980s New York ever put to film. The scene with the severed penis alone needs to be experienced for the sheer insanity of it being committed to film. The amazing effects work, particularly the toilet scene and the exploding scene are also extremely iconic.
Best Line: “Oh shit, he’s drippin’!”
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
- 1 Clipboard Check
- 2 Joe Bob Musical Interludes
- 2 Michael Moriarty Movies this Season
- 3 Smacks of the Drive-In Sign
- 4 Credit-Sequence Wise Guys
- 9 Twitter Bans for Darcy (twice in one night?!)
- 128 “Fucks” in Street Trash (waiting for someone on Twitter to verify)
- Dog Vomiting
- Child Endangering
- Head Splitting
- Pope Joking
- Real-life Stuff Eating
- Goo Leaking
- Toe Popping
- Grocery Store Raging (in both movies)
- Decorative Corpse Arrangement
- #junkyaardvarking
- Lady Chucking
- Corpse Pissing
- Vietnam Flashbacking
- Horse, Elephant, Kangaroo, and Lion Joking
- Street Punk Fu
- Gloryhole Fu
- Door Opening Fu
- Ice Cream Truck Fu
As always, please share your thoughts with us about The Last Drive-In. Also, please check out our other great content here at Haunted MTL.
We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.
Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.
The story
We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.
Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.
I sure would have liked to see more about that.
Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.
Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.
Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.
What worked
The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.
The series is called Goosebumps, after all.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.
To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.
I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.
Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.
I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.
Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.
Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.
I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.
All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.
(2.5 / 5)
So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.
For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
Episode six of Dexter Original Sin brings us Dex’s third kill, making him officially a serial killer.
Yay!
The story
This episode dealt with many things. The first, and clearly most interesting, is the kidnapping of Nicky Spencer, the police captain’s son, whom we met a few episodes ago.
This loss has sent the entire police force into an uproar. They need to find the killer fast before Nicky’s found hanging from a bridge.
Unfortunately, Harry’s still on the sidelines for this one, after horribly messing up the case against Levi Reed. He’s instead working with LaGuerta in a case regarding a dead homeless man. Despite the different victims, types of death, and the fact that they don’t appear to be related at all. Except that Dexter believes they are. They are, in fact, the first murderers of a blossoming serial killer. Just like him.
Before Dex can lean into this investigation, though, he’s drug along on a double date with Deb, Sophia and Gio. And here, we see the first shadows of danger from Gio. Shadows that will almost certainly turn into a monster.
What worked
I would first like to acknowledge that, despite my irritations, Gellar did well in this episode. She didn’t have Whedon’like one-liners. She didn’t exist to give snappy comebacks with a side of girl boss.
She looked as though she’d aged. She was serious. She behaved like a real person who felt terrible about what was happening.
And, just to shout out the costume department, she looked washed out. Yes, that is a good thing. Let me explain.
White is not a good color on her. At least not that shade. It made her look bad. This is not something that Sarah Michelle Gellar would choose to wear.
But it is something that Tanya Martin would choose to wear. And I love that. I love when shows and movies let people look bad because they’re more interested in being true to the character and not focusing on everyone looking as hot as possible at all times.
I also want to discuss Gio, Deb’s boyfriend.
Gio scares me. And I think that most women watching this will feel the same way.
Not girls. Not teenagers or even some young women. But adult women, I’m willing to bet, do not like Gio after this episode.
It was the scene at the bar. The part where he got in the face of the guy who spilled Deb’s drink. There was danger in that scene. Gio didn’t want an apology. He didn’t want to make sure Deb was okay. He didn’t even want the drink replaced. He wanted a reason to hurt that stranger. Because at that moment he was furious. And the only way to handle that fury for him was pain.
Gio is a very dangerous man. I’ll be very surprised if this season doesn’t end with Dexter having to take him out.
What didn’t work
At this point, we have a lot going on. We have Nicky’s kidnapping. We have Dexter finding himself as a serial killer. We have the flashback storyline with Laura and Harry. We have the dangerous Gio and the likely in-danger Sophia. And we have these murders of drifters and homeless people that the team is now investigating.
That’s a lot. It’s more than what can be followed comfortably. And that doesn’t even consider the one or two-episode arches like Levi, Nurse Mary or Tony Ferrer. A lot is going on, and a lot to keep track of. And it’s hard to believe, seeing what we’ve seen from this franchise and knowing what we know about how they handle endings, that these are all going to have satisfying endings. Especially since I haven’t heard anything about a season two.
We have four episodes left in this season, and I am expecting the storylines to start heating up. As of right now, we have way too many that don’t have enough to do with each other. But as we get closer to episode ten, I would expect these loose threads to knot together and form a noose around the neck of our dashing Dexter.
(3.5 / 5)
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