And unfortunately, I spoke too soon in my last dogman review because Jesus Christ, Werewolves Unleashed is really something else. And I do mean Jesus Christ literally because this documentary (spoilers) ends in a prayer for more evidence and content. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s first figure out the plot and go from there because I have a lot to say.
The Plot of Werewolves Unearthed:
So, this dogman/werewolf documentary is not under the hands of Seth Breedlove, but Ward Hiney. And the PR blurb for Werewolves Unearthed is “[a] recent rash of werewolf sightings in Pennsylvania have grabbed the attention of documentarian Ward Hiney. In order to get the truth behind these ongoing encounters, he enlisted journalist and ardent skeptic Chad Christy”.
And, okay, for one, I was so confused because they kept calling it the Ohio valley, so I never got a clear indication of where the heck we actually, as opposed to most STM. Oh, Pennsylvania, the most vampiric state of the United States.
For two, I had no idea that Chad Christy was supposed to be a skeptic because there wasn’t really any indication of that. He didn’t really say anything? Like, if you watch X-Files, you know who the skeptic is right off the bat. The hot redhead. Obviously. But I legitimately didn’t understand that having a skeptic on-board was part of the premise until after the documentary. I had no clue he was a “skeptic” at all.
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And three, “recent rash” of werewolf sightings? Okay, let’s just go into my thoughts, because, woof, I have many.
Thoughts on Werewolves Unearthed:
This documentary is a mess. Between heavily focusing on unreliable witnesses for most of the documentary; practically begging for people to come forward in the “recent rash” of werewolf sighting; waffling between werewolves, dogmen, ghosts, bigfoot, cults and metaphysics; and grasping at any straw that could be considered content; this documentary doesn’t feel like Small Town Monsters at all. There is no heart to it. There is no love of the small towns and their history. It’s loose ramblings of stories and looking for anything that could be construed as evidence.
There is an art to documentaries, especially when dealing with the supernatural or cryptids. You lean too far to one side and it looks like crackpot conspiracies. You lean too much the other and it looks exploitative and sensationalized. It’s a real balance to get stories without leaning too far into either. And Seth Breedlove has become very, very good at this. His documentaries are honest and sincere. They highlight small towns and their monsters. People are the focus, not even necessarily the monsters.
Unfortunately, that style of documentary does not transfer with Hiney. The focus gets muddled as he struggles to find any content for his documentary that should have been a generous thirty minutes long and no more. And the lack of content becomes more apparent as the documentary stretches, to the point of the director calling someone and saying on camera that there’s not a lot of evidence or people to interview.
To the viewer, that looks shoddy and, to be frank, boring. It feels like the research and planning was put together on a Sunday afternoon and they just went with it. The interviews were heavy with one couple who (as an actual skeptic here) seemed sincere but also unreliable. The word “research” was thrown around a lot, but without any kind of evidence or explanation. And even though I loved her to bits, the former owner of a metaphysics store had a bizarre tale of a supposed werewolf who worked at Walmart.
It wasn’t so much a documentary of dogmen or werewolves, but of ghosts, portals, cults, Harry and the Hendersons, bigfoot, and spiritualism. Oh, and the kitchen sink because why not.
Brainroll Juice on Werewolves Unearthed:
As I prefaced in the opening, hold tight, because it’s about to get preachy.
I was not expecting Werewolves Unearthed to be so…religious. In fact, I don’t think it should have been. When I come for werewolves, I don’t come for church. Especially not Small Town Monsters.
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As previously stated, Seth Breedlove allows the documentary to be about the people. Sometimes there’s a religious or spiritual component, but that never comes from Breedlove. He is there to document what he finds and stays generally neutral. Yes, we understand he believes in cryptids. Yes, he is very passionate about it. But he allows the viewer to see these “monsters” from different sides. Is Momo a space alien? Or perhaps he’s just a delightful scamp who steals your peanutbutter sandwich? You get to decide by the story he weaves.
Unfortunately, Hiney doesn’t allow for that as we are given a three minute scene of him praying to God and Jesus for evidence. I wish that were a joke and I wish I was lying. But I’m not. It’s a heavy dose of religion that left an awful taste in my mouth.
I was okay with being bored. And being frustrated. Heck, I was okay at slowly falling asleep as I watched this.
But the prayer at the end was so pretentious and just…not the Small Town Monsters I know and love. It wasn’t about the people. It wasn’t about the culture of history of these small rural towns. And it wasn’t the myths and legends that still fascinate us. It was about Ward Hiney. It was the Ward Hiney Show.
And I am not all right with that.
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Bottomline:
Avoid this one. Not in the spirit of Small Town Monsters. Preachy and rambling. Unfortunately the first of others to come from Ward Hiney.
(1 / 5)
The feature length documentary will be available on Amazon Prime Video and YouTube on October 1. Following a TVOD release, Werewolves Unearthed will bow on Tubi. A special 4K, ad-free version will also be available for Small Town Monsters YouTube subscribers.
When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason.
Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.
Smile 2, a psychological supernatural horror, released in October 2024 just in time for Halloween, sees director Parker Finn (Smile, Laura Hasn’t Slept) return with a sequel starring Naomi Scott (Aladdin) as pop star and recovering addict Skye Riley. While Smile 2 boasts a talented cast, it ultimately falls short of its predecessor, offering a familiar storyline with minor variations and a predictable finale. The film attempts to introduce a new method to combat the parasitic ‘Smile Entity’, but this addition fails to elevate the sequel beyond a pale imitation of its chilling predecessor.
The Plot.
Smile 2 begins shortly after the end of the original; just six days after Rose Cotter’s death. During a short interlude scene, we watch as the now cursed Joel attempts to pass the Smile Entity on by killing one criminal in front of another. The plan backfires spectacularly, inadvertently passing the curse onto an innocent bystander named Lewis Fregoli.
The film then shifts gears, introducing Skye Riley, a singer and performer making a triumphant return to the spotlight with a comeback tour after a tumultuous past. During a candid interview on the Drew Barrymore Show, Skye opens up about her struggles with addiction and the devastating loss of her boyfriend in a car accident. Her sobriety journey, however, faces a severe setback when she seeks pain relief from her old high school friend, the unwitting Lewis Fregoli. In a chilling turn of events, Lewis takes his own life while Skye watches, passing the Smile Entity onto her. Unaware of her new cursed existence Skye gets on with rehearsing for her tour, but she begins to notice that strange things are happening. People are smiling at her in an unnatural way and she becomes the target of anonymous attacks and aggressions. When text messages begin to arrive from an unknown number, Skye decides to get some answers.
Highlights.
Let’s not beat about the bush. I found Smile 2 difficult to finish and was struggling at about the hour-and-a-half mark to stay awake. That being said it’s worth watching because everyone needs to see the 3-minute scene of the ‘smilers’ chasing Skye through her apartment. This was possibly the creepiest thing I’ve seen on a screen. The buildup, the synchronicity of the movement of the actors and their positioning, the camera work, and the lighting. I have rewatched it several times and it doesn’t get old. If you are only interested in watching this, fast forward to the 123-minute mark and get ready to be impressed.
Drawbacks.
Where do I start?
My primary concern with Smile 2 is its striking resemblance to its predecessor. The narrative follows a familiar pattern: an attractive woman fleeing a supernatural force, grappling with hallucinations, experiencing a mental health decline, and culminating in the revelation someone close to Skye was the Smiling Entity after all. This repetitive structure diminishes the film’s impact.
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While the introduction of a new method for shedding the entity initially offered a glimmer of hope this concept wasn’t fully realized. It just served to add names to the line of people that the entity has infected in the past.
Furthermore, the film’s pacing suffers from excessive focus on Skye’s musical career. Scenes showcasing her stage rehearsals and music videos, while intended to establish her identity as a performer, feel unnecessary and detract from the narrative momentum. Yes, we understand she’s a performer, you told us, you don’t need to prove it. These scenes appear to artificially inflate the film’s runtime, suggesting a lack of confidence in the core story.
The Final Take.
Ultimately, Smile 2 fails to expand upon the established lore of the franchise. The film’s conclusion feels contrived, with a blatant setup for a third installment. Hopefully, if a ‘Smile 3’ is inevitable, the creative team will bring fresh ideas and avoid simply retreading familiar ground.
We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.
Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.
The story
We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.
Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.
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I sure would have liked to see more about that.
Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.
Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.
Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.
What worked
The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.
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The series is called Goosebumps, after all.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.
To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.
I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.
Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.
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I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.
Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.
Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.
I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.
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All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.
The movie monsters always approach so slowly. Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream. It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry – It takes forever for them to catch their victims. And yet no one ever seems to get away.
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry – Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly… And yet no one ever seems to get away. Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly… While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream. Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it? The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Robot Dance from Jennifer Weigel’s Reversals series
So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.