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Swissploitation 101

Swissploitation is a word one doesn’t think too much about. Of all the exploitation (I hear Brannyk likes BigfeetSploitation!) we’ve covered, I don’t think the Swiss ever came up in a staff meeting–then came Mad Heidi (2022).

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of Mad Heidi 2022! This Swiss film, funded by an enthusiastic crowd, takes you on a rollercoaster ride of cheesy goodness. Starring Casper Van Dien and boasting a unique visual style, Mad Heidi certainly delivers on its promise of mindless escapism. In this article, we’ll dive into the film’s strengths, weaknesses, and the ultimate journey of its kick-ass protagonist, Heidi. So grab your snacks and beers, and let’s get ready for an adventure in the Swiss Alps!

Mad Heidi with blood all over her and the alps in the background.

They crowdfunded?!

Before we embark on our exploration of Swissploitation, it’s important to acknowledge Mad Heidi’s independent and crowd-funded nature. This disclaimer sets the stage for the film’s visual effects, which may not be on par with Hollywood blockbusters. It’s not going to make Michael Bay sweat over losing his job, but it’s not exactly what you’d think of as low budget. This isn’t Rollergator, more like Rollerball. While noticeable, these visual flaws don’t detract from the passion that shines through the screen. Mad Heidi embraces its independent spirit and presents a unique and charming visual style that adds to its overall appeal.

Truth be told, I watched this movie first before finding out the backstory. The acting, set, design, and concept push this movie well beyond what most would think ‘crow funded’ will produce. This goes to show maybe a good idea (and a little luck) can still score a hit on the silver screen.

Swissploitation at its finest-- a cartoon girl melting a surprised looking white chocolate rabbit with a flame thrower
Jim’s pretty sure this was the storyboard for Mad Heidi

The Changing Accents and Van Dien’s Presence

One of the quirks of Mad Heidi is the inconsistent accents throughout the film, particularly with Casper Van Dien’s character. With Van Dien seemingly changing accents in every scene, it can be a bit distracting. However, this inconsistency doesn’t overshadow the film’s entertainment value. Van Dien’s presence adds a certain charisma to the story, making it easier to overlook the occasional accent slip-ups–if they are slip-ups. I am not 100% on Van Dien not doing this on purpose. Sure, maybe the movie was shot in parts spread over a long time and he simply forgot his accents, but Van Dien is known to be a great actor who takes craft seriously. I think this is just part of the ‘Swissploitation’ experience. It’s a way to make fun of the movies that have done rather horrible accents (on purpose like Inglorious or on accident like well..Inglorious).

Heidi’s Transformation and Revenge

Heidi’s journey from innocence to a kick-ass fighting force is the heart of Mad Heidi. While the film spends a considerable amount of time on her transformation, some viewers may feel that it delays the satisfaction of seeing her seek revenge. From the early minutes of the film, it becomes clear that Heidi’s ultimate arc will involve her taking on the cheese fascists (god, I wish there were a sequel that dealt with Bratzis!), but the wait for her to kick some serious butt can feel a tad too long. When I say a tad too long, I mean maybe 10 minutes not an entire act. Maybe the editing can get tighter and maybe, again, like Dien’s accent, this is part of the ride. Nevertheless, when the moment arrives, it’s a truly gratifying experience that makes up for the delay.

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A Perfect Lazy Sunday Escape

Mad Heidi is the perfect film for a lazy Sunday evening when you’re in the mood for some mindless escapism. Its over-the-top characters, cheesy humor, and action-packed sequences allow you to switch off your brain and simply enjoy the ride. So gather your friends, grab some snacks and beers, and immerse yourself in the madness of Mad Heidi! You truly can’t miss with this film. It’s a great gem and you can thank me for it later.

Conclusion

Mad Heidi 2022 is a crowd-funded and independently made film that manages to captivate with its unique visual style and passionate storytelling. While it may have some noticeable visual flaws and the occasional accent slip-up, the film’s charm shines through. Heidi’s transformation from an innocent girl to a kick-ass fighter is a journey worth experiencing, even if it takes a bit longer than expected. So, if you’re in the mood for a fun and entertaining Swiss adventure, Mad Heidi is the film for you. Sit back, relax, and let the cheesy madness unfold before your eyes!

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

Want to snag a copy of the Swissploitation classic? Click on through!

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The Ghouls

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Episode four of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was a great one for character development. It was also great because one of my personal favorite actors was involved.

Let’s discuss.

The story

This episode’s story revolved largely around Lucy and The Ghoul. He’s still dragging her about on a rope, but we aren’t sure why. While she can track the Head, she certainly hasn’t shared that information with the Ghoul.

What he wants her for soon becomes clear, when he barters her for vials of the medication that keeps him from losing himself to the ghoul illness.

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Ella Purnell in Fallout.

At first, Lucy thinks this is a step up. She’s taken by a robot surgeon named Snip Snip to get a new thumb. Since, you know, The Ghoul shot her thumb off.

However, after stitching a new thumb on, Snip Snip takes her to his masters. Who then say they want him to cut her up for her organs.

Lucy manages to escape and even frees the other people trapped by these organ brokers. In doing so, she comes into the possession of many, many of those vials that The Ghoul needs so desperately.

Meanwhile, Norm is starting to suspect that all is not what it should be in Vault 33. While the rest of the vault is preparing to elect a new overseer, he takes Chet and sneaks off to Vault 32. There, they find some horrific sights. Long dead bodies, next to messages scrawled in blood. There are especially bodies around the door that leads to Vault 31, where someone has written We Know What’s in There on the wall.

Of course, we don’t know what’s in there. But I’m sure we’re going to find out.

Moises Arias and Dave Register in Fallout.

Norm continues to dig, checking for information on the old Overseer’s computer. And he finds that the door to Vault 32 was opened by a Pip-Boy. To be specific, it was a Pip-Boy owned by Norm and Lucy’s mother.

I’m sure that won’t be relevant later.

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What worked

The more I see of this season, the more I like Lucy. She is growing and evolving as a person, just like Wilzig told her she would have to do. She is becoming harder. But her kindness and values haven’t changed yet. She is still a good person. I love that.

I also love the dark, creepy storyline with Norm. I love how serious he is, especially when compared to the rest of his community. I especially love that, even as emotionally disturbed he is by what he’s learning, he seems passionate. And from what we’ve seen of this character, this is possibly the first thing he’s felt passionate about his entire life. I am impressed with the writing and acting that have allowed us to see his lack of passion with minimal focus. He is a fun, well-written character.

Finally, I’d like to shine the spotlight on Matt Berry. He is a delightful actor known for What We Do in the Shadows and IT Crowd. And he is playing the remarkably funny role of Snip Snip, the robot surgeon. His voice lends an extra level of humor to an already funny premise. This was another example of the great casting we’ve seen so far on Fallout.

In the end, this was a great episode from all points. It was fun, heartfelt, and dark. In short, I have no notes. I’m only excited to see what happens in the next episode. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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American Horror Story Delicate, The Auteur

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The finale of American Horror Story Delicate aired last night. And if you were watching along with us on Threads, then you already know that it didn’t live up to any of my expectations.

Let’s discuss.

The story

We begin with Anna being ushered off stage and into an ambulance. Dex is there because Siobhan called him.

Once in the ambulance, though, the blood starts to spill. And it’s not just Anna’s. She soon finds herself in the clutches of the coven, giving birth in the most anxiety-inducing place possible. And when the baby is born, he’s taken away at once.

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Because that’s the agreement that Anna made, without fully realizing what she was agreeing to.

If Anna’s going to get her baby back, she’s going to have to make another sacrifice. She is going to have to join the coven herself. Is she strong enough to do it? Is she strong enough to raise a monster?

Leslie Grossman, Emma Roberts, Annabelle Dexter-Jones, Ashlie Atkinson, Michaela Jaé (MJ) Rodriguez, Billie Lourd and Juliana Canfield in American Horror Story Delicate.

What worked

This episode did have some fun elements. As a practicing witch myself, I appreciate the addition of Hestia in a positive light. Especially when this season was so focused on motherhood, womanhood, and sisterhood, Hestia was a lovely goddess to include.

For those who don’t know, Hestia is a goddess of the home and hearth, but not a maternal goddess. She was, in fact, a virgin goddess. So Adeline’s devotion to her made sense in a real-world witchcraft way. Adeline was supposed to be a symbol of female love and support. Including Hestia in this made that crystal clear.

This was made most clear with the behavior of Siobhan. She was a perfect example of a toxic person who uses sisterhood to use and manipulate others. This can be seen clearly in the flashback that begins this episode. We see Siobhan show kindness to Anna, who she wants to use while being cruel to the woman who shared her story at the start of the meeting. For Siobhan, kindness is a currency she spends to get something. And that is clear.

What didn’t work

Sadly, those two elements weren’t enough to save this episode. My first concern is that this ending had more holes in it than Swiss cheese.

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This wasn’t just a matter of having questions left after the ending. These were elements that we should have seen and just didn’t. Why were the witches diluting and working with blood near the end of the episode? Why didn’t Dex Senior get what was coming to him? What the hell was with those pointed green heels? My largest question, however, is this.

Did Anna imagine all of this? Did any of it happen? We don’t know. Consider the ending. I don’t want to spoil too much of this, so I’ll only point out Anna’s gown. It’s bloody in one scene and newly clean the next. This is only the example I can share without spoiling the ending. But we have no proof that any of these things happened to her.

While it’s fine to leave some questions up to the viewer, there were too many here. Rather than feeling mysterious, it just felt incomplete. And seeing as how this episode was much shorter than a standard one, this could have easily been corrected.

I would also like to hold some space for how this season ruined the good message of the book Delicate Condition. This novel was bloody, gory, and disturbing. But it also had a beautiful message about sisterhood, and women supporting women through motherhood, career choices, and life in general. There is so much pure, sisterly love in that book.

This is entirely missing from this season. It’s often turned on its head, with women betraying each other for their own selfish desires. And honestly, I hated that.

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Leslie Grossman, Kim Kardashian and  Billie Lourd in American Horror Story Delicate.

Finally, this season finale is another example of an ending ruining a good season. AHS Delicate wasn’t without its charm. Some episodes were great fun. There were elements that I truly enjoyed as a horror fan, a witch and a woman. But this ending just soured everything good about the season. It spoiled all of the enjoyment I had. Much like Sabrina, Dexter, and the podcast Dolores Roach, the ending ruined everything that came before it.

In the end, this finale was disappointing. It didn’t deliver on its promises, it did a disservice to the source material, and it was poorly executed. This series is more than capable of better. Delicate Condition, the novel, deserved a better interpretation.

However, as a long-time fan, I can honestly say that in twelve years of content, I have genuinely disliked a season and a half of American Horror Story. This one, and the second half of Double Feature. So while AHS Delicate was a disappointment, I am looking forward to season thirteen. In the meantime, I’m going to rewatch Coven and look forward to better stories to come. 2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The Head

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Episode three of Amazon Prime’s Fallout continued the themes we’ve seen so far, with an added twist. With comedy and gore already blending, the story has added an air of tragic history for one of its least cuddly characters.

Let’s discuss.

The story

Walton Goggins in Fallout.

Our story starts with a flashback to before the bombs dropped. We see Coop, filming a movie. His wife is on set as well, and their adorable daughter. Coop has a comfortable life with a family he loves.

Isn’t that just a knife in the heart?

Back in the present, Lucy is traveling through the wastelands with the head of Wilzig. And she’s doing so with the same fear and joy that we’ve seen from her so far. Until that is, she runs into a Gulper. And after eating a defenseless deer, it swallowed up the head.

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Eventually, The Ghoul catches up with Lucy and decides to capture her. After using her as bait, he decides to drag her along with him.

Meanwhile, Maximus gets a message from the Brotherhood of Steel. Rather than coming clean, he claims to be Knight Titus and is accidentally sent a new Squire. That squire is Thaddeus, one of Maximus’s bullies from the base. And Maximus wastes no time in taking some sweet, sweet revenge.

Finally, we return to Vault 33. The vault is healing from the Raider attack and the loss of Lucy. Norm and Chet are being punished for letting Lucy leave, by being fired from their jobs. This throws Chet because he had a cool job.

Norm, on the other hand, didn’t like his job. He didn’t like any job. So, since this is the only way anyone gets punishments in the vault, he’s given the task of feeding the Raiders.

And talking to the Raiders was maybe not a healthy thing for Norm to be doing. He might learn something he didn’t want to know.

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What worked

The first thing I have to talk about is the massive creature called The Gulper.

This thing was fascinating. It was voracious, fast, and horrifying to look like. It was like a giant axolotl from Hell, with human fingers lining its whole mouth and throat. Why did it need fingers lining its mouth and throat? The better to drag someone down its throat and into its stomach. And the better to drag itself into my nightmares. This creature was well done.

The Gulper from Fallout.

On the flip side of this, I love the fact that the people of Vault 33 are so kind. They’re so willing to forgive, willing to care for their fellow man even when their fellow man is trying to kill them.

I don’t trust it, to be clear. But the perceived kindness from these people is uplifting. And I’m sure it will make whatever is going to eventually happen to them all the worse.

Of course, I can’t talk about the goodness of the vault dwellers without talking about the absolute horribleness of The Ghoul. The Ghoul is not a good person. He is cruel, and selfish, and clearly dislikes Lucy for some reason we do not yet know, and is probably not her fault.

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But we kind of understand how he got that way, don’t we? During the flashbacks, we see that he’s lost his wife and daughter. We also see that he was used as a mascot for the very company that created the vaults. And, while we don’t have any concrete proof yet, we can probably guess that these are not the good guys. Even if we haven’t played the games, anyone who’s even slightly genre-savvy can already guess that.

Which is the last thing I want to bring up here.

We know something stinks with the vaults. Something beyond the obvious issues of wealth disparities and the people left outside to die while those who could afford a Vault spot were saved. Something is rotten with the vaults, we all know this. What we don’t know is what form this rot will take.

Not yet.

What didn’t work

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Now, I wish I could say this was a perfect episode. But sadly, it wasn’t. And my biggest issue with the episode is with the character Maximus.

Now, I love Maximus. He wants to do good things in the world. He’s the underdog, and who doesn’t love that? He’s honorable and believes in the organization he belongs to.

I don’t love that he cannot do anything right. It feels like he wins fights by falling over and tripping into succeeding. And this character deserves so much more than that. Can we please, just once, see him be good at something or make a sound decision?

All that being said, this was still a fun episode. It was funny and bright, with an ominous feel and a horrific finger-ridden monster. I had a great time with it.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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