Sookie finds out that she is a fairy. Bill explains that it is likely that a fairy coupled with one of her ancestors and that Claudine was worried about Bill “taking her light” because fairies are believed to have been wiped out by vampires.
Bill also tells Sookie that fairy blood is intoxicating to vampires and he thinks that it has helped him stay alive longer in the sun. He has to reassure Sookie that he isn’t with her just because of her blood and what it does for him.
Bury the Body
Jason and Tara stand in the aftermath of killing Franklin. They hide any evidence that he was killed.
Later on, Tara reveals to Sookie what happened to her at Franklin’s hand. The two seem to make up once Sookie understands what went on.
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Jason and Tara have a heart-to-heart later on where Tara thanks Jason for saving her life. He feels guilty, and tells her that he shot and killed Eggs. Tara rushes from the room.
Healing Effects
Lafayette and Jesus are still driving Calvin – Crystal’s father – to the hospital after he was beaten by Sam. Lafayette realizes that the hospital is too far away and that they will not make it before Calvin dies. He stops and gives Calvin vampire blood. He heals and Crystal is overjoyed. Calvin turns on her, cursing her for letting them feed him vampire blood. What a piece of crap this guy is.
We learn more about Sam when he is at home nursing his wounds from punching Calvin. We see a flashback that shows Sam using his shifting powers to steal jewelry. His girlfriend — who had no idea how Sam was able to steal so effectively — turns on him and robs him with another man. Sam takes revenge and kills both of them when he finds them. Wow. I never could have guessed Sam had such a dark past. He is beginning to get a little more interesting.
Later on in the episode, we return to Lafayette and Jesus. The pair do V together and have hallucinations of their relatives. We see Jesus’ grandmother, a powerful healer, and his grandfather, an evil sorcerer. I am definitely still feeling like Lafayette is some type of witch and Jesus is as well. I’m looking forward to seeing this develop.
Updating His Will
Eric believes that he will soon have to engage with Russell and that he may be killed. He updates his will in front of an attorney and names Pam as his sole heir. Pam is torn up over the experience, telling Eric that she doesn’t want his property and money. She wants him to live.
Afterwards, Eric shows up at Bill’s house and confronts him. Eric reveals that he knows Sookie is a fairy. He inquires as to whether her blood could allow him to walk in the sunlight. Bill tries to downplay how powerful Sookie’s blood is. Eric says that Sophie-Anne will be disappointed to know Sookie’s blood isn’t valuable. To me, it seems that Sophie-Anne may have been involved with Hadley to find out this information as well. Eric also tells Bill about how he killed Talbot. Sookie walks up at that moment and Eric insists again that she cannot trust Bill, but that it doesn’t matter because he won’t be around much longer.
Rejection
Jessica lashes out at Arlene for her continued prejudice against vampires. Afterwards, Tommy tries to kiss Jessica. She pulls away. We know she is definitely still interested in Hoyt. Later in the episode, Hoyt reveals that he has broken up with Summer. Hoyt punches Tommy in the face when he confronts him about Jessica. Tommy turns into a pitbull and attacks Hoyt. Jessica races to his rescue and punts Tommy as the dog into the woods. She forces Hoyt to drink her blood to heal.
At the end of the episode, someone has placed a burning cross on Bill and Jessica’s lawn. Bill convinces Jessica it isn’t worth paying attention to, and that they can’t do anything about it anyways because of the publicity Russell caused.
Arlene tells Terry that the baby inside of her isn’t his, but Rene’s. Terry — the good guy he is — says that it doesn’t matter and that he will raise the baby as his own. Arlene still doesn’t seem to feel very good about the baby and goes to Holly to help her miscarry. Holly is Wiccan, so I’d bet she will give Arlene a type of potion to help a miscarriage happen. I’m surprised that Arlene is doing this, as she firmly believes abortion is wrong. It’s a loophole in her mind, I guess.
Lost Love
We find Russell as he picks up a male prostitute. They have sex, and Russell gets weird and we can tell he is mourning Talbot. The prostitute begins to feel uncomfortable, but before he can get away Russell stakes him. This seems to be Russell re-enacting Talbot’s death to feel like they were together when he died. This scene is intensely emotional and we see how much Russell is hurting. Eric is in for it.
Fangtasia
We end the episode with Sookie arriving at Fangtasia to try and help Eric. Eric tells Sookie that he would hate to meet the true death without kissing her. They begin to make out and are interrupted by Pam. She pulls Eric aside and tells him that they should exchange Sookie for his life. Eric returns to the room and drags Sookie to the basement, tying her up.
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Complications
Jason’s life becomes more complicated when he walks into his bedroom to find a panther sitting there, eyes orange and mesmerizing. Before his eyes, the panther transforms into Crystal. Well, at least Jason has the prior knowledge of Sam’s shifting so it isn’t too weird. We shall see.
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Sarah Moon is a stone-cold sorceress from Tennessee whose interests include serial killers, horror fiction, and the newest dystopian blockbuster. Sarah holds an M.A. in English Literature and an M.F.A. in Fiction Writing. She works as an English professor as well as a cemeterian. Sarah is most likely to cover horror in print including prose, poetry, and graphic forms. You can find her on Instagram @wellreadredhead18.
They say good things come to those who wait, and boy have we been patient. It has been quite a few months since we have been treated to a full season of ‘The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs’, in fact, the season 4 finale premiered on Shudder July 1st, 2022. Since then, we have been able to satisfy our appetites with festive holiday specials sprinkled throughout the past year. Specials such as ‘Joe Bob’s Halloween Hangout’ guest starring horror’s favorite Mistress of the dark, Elvira(played by the legendary Cassandra Peterson) and ‘Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together’. Last month was a treat in itself, as we were able to witness Joe Bob Briggs and fan favorite co-host, Darcy the Mail Girl (Diana Prince) marry one lucky couple for the first time on the show, with ‘Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine‘ special.
host Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl on the set of ‘The Last Drive-In‘.
While the current changes in staff at Shudder has left fans questioning if we will receive a new season of the popular series, I can happily say mutant family, we need not worry. In fact, to our wonderous surprise, Joe Bob Briggs has officially announced via Twitter, season 5 of ‘The Last Drive-In‘ will be premiering April 21st, exclusively on Shudder! One thing that is noteworthy, is unlike previous seasons, it has been reported by 1428Elm that season 5 will be broken up into two parts of five double-feature blood-curdling episodes. Though we have not been provided the official release schedule for the second block of season 5, here is a sneak peek of what we can expect for the first half of the season:
April 21: Season 5 Launch Party! April 28: Walpurgisnacht Part 2! May 5: Cinco de Fucking Mayo! May 12: Mama’s Day! May 19: Dysfunctional Family Jubilee!
Unfortunately, we do not have an official list of the brand-new double feature films for the first half of season 5 but, with amusing episode titles such as these, one can only imagine what grindhouse-classics will be joining ‘The Last Drive-In’s’ already eclectic list of sloshy goodness. For those impatient mutants eagerly waiting for more hilarious Joe Bob rant-filled commentaries, or those newcomers who’ve yet to experience the magic that is ‘The Last Drive-In‘, all previous four seasons, including past holiday specials are currently available to stream now on Shudder.
If you are just as big of fans of ‘The Last Drive-In‘ as we here at HauntedMTL are, please be sure to follow us on Twitter @HauntedMTL and join us April 21st as we tweet along with Joe Boband Darcy the Mail Girlfor the season premier. As is tradition, we will be hosting live watch parties every Friday with each new episode, including fresh holiday specials. The road to season 5 is upon us…let the countdown begin!
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April 21: Season 5 Launch Party! April 28: Walpurgisnacht Part 2! May 5: Cinco de Fucking Mayo! May 12: Mama's Day! May 19: Dysfunctional Family Jubilee! . . . and that's only the beginning.#TheLastDriveInpic.twitter.com/WfeTx0shNa— Joe Bob Briggs (@therealjoebob) March 16, 2023
Mutant family, please gather ’round as February kicks rocks and we shove our way into March. With the new month comes the shifting from winter to spring as death beautifully resurrects back to life, drunken patrons swarm our local bars like rabid locusts for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, and of course new exclusives and returning favorites on Shudder to satisfy the horror fiend in us all. To quote the prestigious Samuel L. Jackson, “hold onto your butts” and let’s dive right into Shudder’s March 2023 release schedule.
Shudder Exclusives
While it is true that the release schedule for the start of 2023 on Shudder has been minor and slightly mixed, with films such as the much talked about experimental low-budget indie ‘Skinamarink‘, the surprisingly entertaining horror comedy ‘Sorry About the Demon‘, and writer/director Neil Marshall’s return to the genre with ‘The Lair‘. We also graciously received the wildly fun ‘The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine” special, with season 5 currently in production and premiering later this year; though it can’t come soon enough. As we like to do here at HauntedMTL, let’s kick off March with Shudder’s newest exclusives currently streaming now and in the coming weeks.
Spoonful of Sugar – Now Streaming
‘Spoonful of Sugar‘ official poster.
Starting off this list we begin with director Mercedes Bryce Morgan and writer Leah Saint Marie’s latest film ‘Spoonful of Sugar‘, now currently streaming.
Millicent (Morgan Saylor), a disturbed college student working on her thesis about children with severe allergies, is hired to babysit little Johnny (Danilo Crovetti), a sickly, mute child who suffers from every allergy under the sun. His mother Rebecca (Kate Foster) is an accomplished author currently focused on her newest book release, while his father Jacob (Myko Olivier) spends his days in the backyard working on frivolous carpentry projects. After experiencing a bizarre sexual awakening while using LSD as an alternative treatment for Johnny, she soon uncovers the family’s dark secrets as things begin to become unhinged.
Leave – Premiering Friday 3/17
‘Leave‘ official poster.
After having been abandoned as an infant at a cemetery wrapped in a cloth with satanic symbols, Hunter White (Alicia von Rittberg) grows obsessed with figuring out who her biological parents are and why they seemingly abandoned her. However, as she gets closer to the answers she so desperately seeks, a malevolent spirit is warning her to leave.
‘Leave‘ premiers exclusively on Shudder Friday 03/17 and is directed by Alex Herron and written by Thomas Moldestad, starring Alicia von Rittberg, Herman Tømmeraas,Ellen Dorrit Petersen, and Stig R. Amda
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The Unheard – Premiering Friday 03/31
‘The Unheard‘ official poster.
‘The Unheard‘ follows the story of deaf 20-year-old Chloe Grayden (Lachlan Watson) after she undergoes an experimental treatment to restore her hearing. While recovering at her family’s beach home after the successful procedure, Chloe begins to fear she is not alone as she begins to experience auditory hallucinations related to the mysterious disappearance of her mother.
‘The Unheard’ is directed by Shudder alumni Jeffrey A. Brown (The Beach House) and written by brothers/screenwriting partners ShawnRasmussen and Michael Rasmussen (Crawl), co-starring Michele Hicks and Nick Sandow. ‘The Unheard‘ premiers exclusively on Shudder Friday 03/31.
Returning Classic and Fan Favorites
Now that we’ve removed the veil for the new exclusive titles dropping this month, I think it’s time we reveal the returning classics jump starting our transition into spring for 2023. Allow me to highlight some of my favorite films returning to Shudder for March including ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ and ‘The Company of Wolves‘; grim re-telling’s of popular children’s fairy tales. We also cannot forget John Carpenter’s haunted coastal horror ‘The Fog‘; no, not the remake…thankfully.
Gretel and Hansel – Now Streaming
Alice Krige as “The Witch” in ‘Gretel and Hansel’.
Directed by Osgood Perkins, ‘Gretel and Hansel’ is a terrifyingly dark and unique vision to one of history’s most famous childhood fairy tales. After being thrown out of their mother’s home, Gretel (Sophia Lillis) leads her younger brother, Hansel (Samuel Leakey), through the woods in search of food and work. The children soon discover a quaint cottage where a fragile old woman Holda (Alice Krige) offers fresh food and bed. The children accept all Holda has to offer, with little thought as to what may be asked of them in return.
Though it has been met with mixed reviews, ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ offers astounding performances by veteran actress Alice Krige as the films iconic Witch of the woods and Sophia Lillis as lead Gretel. Director Osgood Perkins does well to draw his viewer in with a beautifully haunting score and unnerving cinematography, making this one grim re-telling worth checking out at least once. ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ is available to stream now.
The Company of Wolves – Now Streaming
My, what big teeth you have…
Continuing our list of returning classics, we have yet another bold re-telling of a beloved children’s fairy tale, 1984’s ‘The Company of Wolves‘. While the story of ‘Little Red Riding Hood‘ has been retold through various forms of media, including numerous films, ‘The Company of Wolves‘ is a beloved horror interpretation with adult themes and memorable practical effects including one of the genres best werewolf transformations.
A wise grandmother (Angela Lansbury) tells her granddaughter Rosaleen (Sarah Patterson) a disturbing tale of innocent maidens falling in love with handsome strangers … and of their sudden mysterious disappearances when the moon is full and accompanied by the strange sound of a beast in the woods.
Writer, director, musician, and horror master John Carpenter is a legend in the genre having provided countless classics such as ‘The Thing‘, a terrifyingly gruesome remake of ‘The Thing from Another World‘. Or his sci-fi action/horror ‘They Live’ where he deals with societal control through corporations and government. And of course, my personal favorite, the film that jumpstarted his career and created one of horror’s most iconic slashers…’Halloween‘.
1980’s ‘The Fog‘ is a terrifying shoreside tale of vengeful spirits haunting the fictional coastal town of Antonio Bay, OR. as they begin preparations to celebrate its centenary. Following exactly 100 years after a ship mysteriously sank in the town’s waters, a thick unearthly fog harboring the souls of those who perished rolls in and with them, the dark secrets of Antonio Bay’s past.
For a full comprehensive list of all the titles being added to Shudder for the month of January, please refer to the graphic below. Please be on the lookout for our review of ‘The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine’ to drop later this week here on HauntedMTL and be sure to follow us on Twitterand Instagramfor more Shudder news and spooky reviews!
Shudder March 2023 film release schedule.
3/1:
Gretel and Hansel
3/2:
Spoonful of Sugar
3/9:
The Company of Wolves
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3/13:
Holidays
3/17:
Leave
3/20:
Jack be Nimble
3/27:
Ultra Pulpe
After Blue
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3/31:
The Unheard
The Fog
The Blair Witch Project & Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
So this isn’t a review but more just some thoughts…
I have to admit that I actually like the She Wolf music video by Shakira.
Maybe partly because my Zumba group back in the day used to dance to it with all of us cautioned to not to look up the music video for fear it would be too risque or something… (The Zumba dance to this was one of my favorites, and I loved our group of mostly 60+ year old retirees for all that some of them did act surprised at these things, whether or not they actually were.) Or maybe partly because it reminds me of Madonna’s Express Yourself, or by extension the famous dance scene in Metropolis directed by Fritz Lang.
It’s a guilty pleasure.
The ways these things evolve and stay the same over time fascinates me, especially how the messaging and movement change, and yet stay the same.
Shakira She Wolf
Madonna Express Yourself
Metropolis dance scene
Anyway, I created this artwork based upon the She Wolf video and song, incorporating a Hazelle puppet head atop a modern Barbie doll body. I don’t recall what happened to Barbie’s actual head though I’m pretty sure I needed it for another project. (Technically I needed the body for another project too, and this was just a stopover.) Years ago this piece found itself part of the Women’s Caucus for Art website as one of the chosen artworks for the year. I was going to try to write something to go with it for Haunted MTL but instead I thought I’d share it as a lead up to my revisitation of my werewolf story from St. Patrick’s Day last year.
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