We find ourselves with Pam at the beginning of the episode attempting to halt Tara’s suicide attempt in the tanning bed. Pam can only get her to stop when she commands Tara to never try something like this again. And let me say, Tara ain’t looking too amazing after all that – bubbly oozing skin and all.
Sookie confesses to Jason that she murdered Debbie. Jason wants to help her make it go away, not put her in prison. Jessica happens to be at Jason’s and hears Sookie’s confession as well.
Sookie and Lafayette argue about Sookie’s openness and inability to keep her mouth closed. Lafayette gets heated and calls her the “Angel of Death.” Sookie is torn up over it. Later on, Lafayette is outside and sees Sookie’s car. His demon rears its head and curses her car. When Sookie drives home that evening, the car drives itself on full speed and will not let Sookie use the brakes. She jumps from her vehicle narrowly missing a nasty collision.
Bill and Eric are dropped off at Fangtasia with their iStakes strapped around their chests. It seems that only four people knew what happened with Russell, so the pair are trying to figure out who broke Russell Edgington out. Eric and Pam have an emotional fight when he accuses her of being the rat. Pam isn’t the rat, but Eric ends up releasing her from his maker bonds as he doesn’t want her to die if he dies trying to fight Russell and the Authority.
Back at the Authority, Salome and Roman finally get Nora to give them the name of the other traitor in their midst who is a Sanguinista. It turns out to be the kid, who has a video of himself saved feeding on a human saying that humans are just food. Wow, what a bad thing for the Authority to find while searching your room. Roman stakes the kid and that is that.
Sam’s friends stop by Merlotte’s and get him to agree to go running with them again, no matter what happened with Luna. He agrees, but when he gets to their place that night he finds both of them with bullets in their heads.
The judge stops by the police station and thanks Andy for getting his son’s ticket cleared. He invites Andy and Jason to a party. They travel to the party in a limo with three women who blindfold them to take them where they are going. We quickly see that these women are fairies and take the judge, Jason, and Andy to fairyland. Jason sees Hadley and pieces together where they are after speaking with her. Andy runs into Morella again.
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Jason begins to cause a scene and Jason and Andy are both kicked out of the party via portal. The last shot we see of these two are two fairies back on Earth about to blast light at Jason and Andy lying in the grass.
Alcide drops by to speak to Debbie’s parents. He confesses that he knows what happened to Debbie and that she is dead. He tells them that Marcus killed her and bragged about it, but that he killed Marcus with his bare hands and that anyone would back that up. The Pelts find sufficient answers in what Alcide tells them and leave town, returning home.
Terry and Patrick travel to South Dakota to find Eller. We see flashbacks of combat in Iraq and about how Eller shot a civilian for no reason. Terry and Patrick find his lair in the woods that has an underground bunker with drawings and scribbles of fires. The two turn around to see Eller with a gun in their faces.
Sookie goes home after her accident and begins drinking heavily. Lafayette calls when he comes upon her smashed car. Sookie explains what happened and Lafayette seems to piece together that this is his fault. Sookie asks Lafayette to get her car towed if he wants to help and hangs up because Alcide shows up at her door.
Sookie offers Alcide a drink and the two begin making out, just as Bill and Eric come to Sookie’s house. They can see her through the window. Bill and Eric seem to think that Sookie will be useful in their search for Russell Edgington and decide to bring her with them, even against her will.
Sarah Moon is a stone-cold sorceress from Tennessee whose interests include serial killers, horror fiction, and the newest dystopian blockbuster. Sarah holds an M.A. in English Literature and an M.F.A. in Fiction Writing. She works as an English professor as well as a cemeterian. Sarah is most likely to cover horror in print including prose, poetry, and graphic forms. You can find her on Instagram @crystalsnovelnook.
āThe Demon of Deathā is the season 3 premiere of the supernatural dramaEvil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. As of this review, itās available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
The assessors investigate the weight of a soul. Father Frank Ignatius (Wallace Shawn) agrees to participate in this test despite his growing disillusionment. David (Mike Colter) and Kristen (Katja Herbers) deal with the ramifications of their confessions. Kristenās girls go on the warpath with Leland (Michael Emerson). Andy (Patrick Brammall) signs his death warrant.
What I Like about āThe Demon of Death”
As season 2 ended with a cliffhanger, āThe Demon of Deathā picks back up with an interesting addition. The episode provides a more obvious stopping point that Season 2 should have taken advantage of. It dumbfounds me because this addition makes for a more interesting and darker cliffhanger. The added context would have made the cliffhanger more palatable. However, itās a nice twist for the episode.
Dr. Boggs (Kurt Fuller) and Sister Andrea (Andrea Martin) make an interesting pair that adds complexity to both. We even explore some of Sister Andreaās character flaws, best displayed by her interaction with Kristen in the next scene. Few wise sage characters that display flaws, making this addition appreciated.
Father Ignatius’ introduction adds layers of interest for a character who will play a recurring role, tying into Monsignor Korecki directly. The yet-to-be-explored relationship between Father Ignatius and Monsignor Korecki (Boris McGiver) evokes an interest.
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While “The Demon of Death” isn’t a haunting episode, but explores the mysteries and terror of death through science to provide an interesting environment for an episode. It introduces a new character that adds to the cast.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
Thereās not much to report here that particularly crosses the line and what teeters on the line holds a dark comedic tone.
Perhaps Sister Andreaās flaw might rub some the wrong way, as it deals with her overwhelming faith. However, itās a minor point at the moment. Again, I lean on liking some complexity for the wise sage archetype.
What I Dislike about āThe Demon of Deathā
āThe Demon of Deathā still plays it safe with its supernatural elements, but that does seem to be Evilās standard. At this point of the series, it seems a strange restraint. However, the new normal remains functionally paranormal.
While the premiere starts with an interesting procedural plot, it doesnāt direct the season like prior premieres. This episode doesn’t deliver a massive refocus as season 2’s premiere, but that’s because its conclusion doesn’t deliver as focused of a direction. Regardless, “The Demon of Death” is still an episode that slips away despite its premiere status.
Ben (Aasif Mandvi) seems needlessly hostile as they investigate a soul’s potential weight. The study delivers a thorough scientific process, which makes his resistance linger on the āangry atheistā archetype.
The demon shown on screen certainly isnāt the demon of death the title suggests. While the plot revolves around the mystery of death, there is a demon with a more carnal domain. As future episodes dive into their respective demons, it does seem to be an inaccurate title. However, the demon of the episode will get further focus in a different episode.
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Final Thoughts
āThe Demon of Deathā doesnāt stand out as a premiere but provides an interesting procedural episode. As Father Ignatius will become another key character in the series, giving him an entire episode to introduce him is a nice strategy. While itās not a haunting episode, it still provides a level of camp with interesting characters to pull it off. (3 / 5)
Released in 2010, Rare Exports asks an important holiday question. One that no one else has dared to ask.
What if Santa was a ten-story-tall monster buried under the ice for centuries?
The story
Rare Exports is the story of a little boy named Pietari. After doing what is frankly too much research for a little boy, he realizes that Santa is not the jolly old elf we all think of. He is, in fact, a monster who eats bad children. And it turns out that Santa was trapped in the ice near Pietari’s little town. All this would be well and good if a Russian mining team weren’t in the process of cutting him out of the ice. So it’s up to Pietari to convince everyone of the dark, horrific truth.
Why were the Russians digging in the snow to find Santa? What was the plan there? What happened to Pietariās mom? And who did they sell the elves to? Do the elves need air or water to live?
We donāt get answers to any of those questions. And frankly, we donāt need them to enjoy Rare Exports.
This is a wild story about a little boy who discovers that Santa is a mythical monster with a bunch of scrawny old men with big white beards to do his evil bidding and eats bad children who haven’t been beaten by their parents enough. What sort of explanation would help this story in any way?
I mean, we could pick apart why itās suddenly legal to sell people, or at least mythical creatures that look like naked old men, or why this all happened right next to the only little kid who had the exact knowledge needed. But in the end, wouldnāt that be like asking how Santa gets into peopleās homes when they donāt have fireplaces? Doesnāt that objective reasoning just piss on the Christmas magic?
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What didnāt work
While Rare Exports was fun, there were parts that I did not appreciate. For one thing, there wasn’t a single woman or person of any color in this film. Literally not one. Not an extra, not in the background. This little Finnish town is populated entirely by white men. And yes, it is Finland and there isn’t a hugely diverse population. But it’s also 2010. People move. Also, women exist.
On the subject of seeing too many white men, we also saw too much of the white men. Specifically, we saw far too many old white male actors entirely nude. There was just no reason for this. These men were portraying elves. They didnāt have to be naked. If they were naked, they didnāt have to have, um, yule logs. Maybe elves are like Ken dolls. There were so many options that didnāt include so much old man wang.
Finally, I wish we’d seen Santa Claus. Not to spoil the ending, but he never actually emerges to attack anyone. And that feels like a cop-out. If we’re going to be teased the whole movie with this depiction of monster Santa, we should at least get to see monster Santa.
Though, after what they did with the elves, maybe itās a blessing we didnāt see him.
In the end, Rare Exports was well worth watching. It was hilarious, creepy and bloody. And while it wasn’t perfect, it was a delightful holiday horror comedy.
Released in 2016, Christmas Crime Story is about a disastrous robbery on Christmas Eve, and all the many lives impacted by the selfish decisions of one person.
And then, suddenly, it isnāt. But weāll get to that part.
The story
Christmas Crime Story is the tale of a Christmas Eve holdup gone wrong. We see the story from several points of view, starting with Chris, the detective first on the scene.
Chris is having a hard Christmas Eve. So, on his lunch break, he visits his mom at her diner. It appears that they have a contentious relationship. But nothing is solved in this quick visit.
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Chris goes on to pull over a man speeding. When the man, named David, pulls over, Chris discovers something in the trunk. That something must have been pretty damn incriminating, because rather than open the trunk, David shoots him dead.
We then switch to Davidās pov for the night. Then his girlfriendās pov. Then, the man his girlfriend has been cheating on him with. And on and on we go, until we see how all of these different stories and people come together for a dark, sordid Christmas Eve.
What worked
The first thing I want to say about Christmas Crime Story is that itās heartwarming. Like, to a fault, which we will be talking about.
The ending is very sweet, in a Christmasy sort of way. Families come together, people are filled with joy, and all is right in the world for almost everyone. Except for Lena, who deserves to have a bad Christmas, everyone gets a happy ending.
That brings me to my next point. The characters, mostly, are all deeply sympathetic. Even when David or James are killing people, you feel bad for them.
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You donāt agree with what theyāre doing, but you do feel bad.
You have to feel sympathetic for the man whose girlfriend hired a killer to merk him. Or the woman whose daughter has cancer. Or the guy who just can’t find work, even though he’s trying to make good decisions. You want things to work out for them. You want them to be okay. Even when they do terrible things.
Finally, I always love stories told from so many different points of view. It’s always fun to see a story unfold in a nonlinear way, but in a way that makes more and more sense as we get more points of view. It’s a hard thing to pull off, and I think Christmas Crime Story did it very well.
What didnāt work
Unfortunately, all of the sympathetic characters and clever storytelling methods in the world won’t save a story that doesn’t work. And Christmas Crime Story just does not work.
Letās begin with the ending. The big twist near the end of the movie. I wonāt spoil it, but you will for sure know it if youāve seen the film. Or, if you waste your time watching the film.
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As a rule, twists work when they make sense. Not when it feels like the writers threw up their hands and said, āOkay, but what if everything we just did for the last hour and fifteen minutes didnāt happen, and insteadā¦ā
This wasnāt clever. It wasnāt fun. It felt like the writers didnāt know how to end their movie and just decided to cheat.
Finally, I mentioned earlier that Christmas Crime Story was heartwarming. And yes, that is nice.
But is it maybe a little too heartwarming?
I mean, we have an adorable angel of a child with cancer. Her parents don’t have enough money for her treatment. We have two poor guys who are in love with a black-hearted woman. And we have a detective so sweet and kind that he makes you rethink ACAB. And, he’s about to get married to his pregnant girlfriend. And theyāre naming the baby after his mom. And his name is literally Chris DeJesus. His momās name is Maggie DeJesus. I tried to think of a sillier less subtle name to use as a joke, and I literally couldnāt think of one.
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They could have at least named him De La Cruz. That would be more subtle, and I still would have complained.
In the end, Christmas Crime Story just missed the mark. It came very close to being a good movie. But it focused too much on how it wanted you to feel, rather than telling a satisfying story that made sense. Much like that third glass of eggnog, itās fun in the moment and regretful after. If youāre looking for a satisfying Christmas horror, Iād suggest looking elsewhere.
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