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Witchcraft has always been a go-to for creatives. Books, movies, TV shows, songs and even comic books have included depictions of witches going back to Grendel and Lilith.

In modern times, witches still have a strong foothold in our cultural zeitgeist. We cannot get enough of women in pointy hats, brooms, cauldrons and black cats.

Of course, all of this love for the fictional witch ignores the fact that there are very real witches still around today. You probably know someone who identifies as a witch. And if you don’t, you do now.

I am a modern, practicing witch. When I was growing up in a religion that didn’t allow playing cards or women to wear pants in church, my only real outlet for my witchy interests was the myriad fictional depictions of witches I saw around me. Oh, how I loved them.

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That being said, learning more about real witchcraft has changed how I feel about a lot of fictional witchy depictions. Sometimes I like them more. Sometimes I like them much, much less. As if I could have liked the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina less.

So today, we’re starting a series of classic reviews covering witches in modern fiction. We’re going to take a look at what these shows got right about witchcraft, and what they got laughably wrong.

Speaking of laughing, we’re starting with the lighthearted Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

Just the facts

Running for seven seasons from 1996 to 2003, Sabrina the Teenage Witch was based on the much longer-running comic series. It starred Melissa Joan Hart, had a laugh track, and was just the pinnacle of a bad but enjoyable nineties sitcom. The story revolves around Sabrina Spellman, a teenager who just found out that she is a witch. Together with her aunts, Hilda and Zelda, and a wisecracking warlock turned cat named Salem, she experiences the nefarious world of a high school student while trying to learn about her new fantastic powers.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch is a fun show if you need something bright, cheerful and happy. It’s funny, sometimes not on purpose, and has an array of enjoyable characters. The magic is wildly out of the bounds of reality. The only real limitation seems to be the arbitrary (and often plot device-heavy) rules from the Witch’s High Council.

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What Sabrina got right

I’m never going to suggest that the witchcraft in Sabrina the Teenage Witch is realistic. Honestly, if someone tells you they can turn you into a pineapple, they’re probably messing with you. But yes, there are some realistic aspects to the way witchcraft is portrayed. And lots to appreciate.

Melissa Joan Hart and Nick Bakay in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

For starters, I appreciate the inclusion of male witches. Sabrina’s father is a witch, and of course, so is Salem. Men who practice witchcraft are often overlooked, or dismissed. So the inclusion of a main character who’s a male witch (even if he is in cat form) was nice.

Another thing I liked was Sabrina’s response the first time her aunts tell her she’s a witch. She laughs it off, thinking they’re a little weird. And honestly, unless you have some weird religious people around you, that’s the normal response. Some people in the community worry that people will judge them, and I get it. But the top response from most people is usually to say, “Oh cool,” and then change the subject.

Finally, there were some magical bits that Sabrina got right. For one thing, there is very little wand waving. And while some witches do use wands to direct energy, many of us just point our fingers. That was good to see.

I also liked the acknowledgment that more witches mean more energy for a spell. Anytime you can rope some friends into doing a spell with you, it’s gonna have more oomph. And sometimes you need that. It’s like moving furniture. You can probably move an end table by yourself. But moving a couch might take a couple of guys.

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Melissa Joan Hart, Michelle Beaudoin and Nate Richert in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

What Sabrina got wrong

All that being said, of course, Sabrina didn’t get everything right. And I’m not talking about the wild things that aren’t realistic. I’m not going to rebuke the show because no one actually levitates.

But I don’t like the fact that it never seems to cost any of the witches anything to cast a spell. They throw around their powers as though it takes no energy at all to do so.

Magic takes energy. It has a price. Sometimes it’s a small one, sometimes it’s not. Going back to that analogy about moving furniture, if you’re trying to move something too heavy alone and without the proper tools, you’re apt to pull a muscle. Sabrina is just learning about her powers. Using them should make her tired. It could cause a headache, illness, or just the need to sit down and drink a cup of tea.

My biggest pet peeve, though, is the thought that someone has to be born a witch. This is something anyone can do if they want to. And while hereditary witches might have a leg up on those of us who had to figure everything out for ourselves, anyone can be a witch. Anyone, at any time, can start researching and learning about witchcraft.

All in all, Sabrina the Teenage Witch is a fun show with some surprisingly accurate and forward-thinking witchy notions. If you managed to sidestep it so far, consider giving it a watch. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

If you want to see more of this series, or if you have a piece of witch fiction that you’d like me to review, let me know in the comments.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Smile 2: A Poor Rate Second.

“Break a leg out there.”

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Smile 2, a psychological supernatural horror, released in October 2024 just in time for Halloween, sees director Parker Finn (Smile, Laura Hasn’t Slept) return with a sequel starring Naomi Scott (Aladdin) as pop star and recovering addict Skye Riley. While Smile 2 boasts a talented cast, it ultimately falls short of its predecessor, offering a familiar storyline with minor variations and a predictable finale. The film attempts to introduce a new method to combat the parasitic ‘Smile Entity’, but this addition fails to elevate the sequel beyond a pale imitation of its chilling predecessor.

The Plot.

Smile 2 begins shortly after the end of the original; just six days after Rose Cotter’s death. During a short interlude scene, we watch as the now cursed Joel attempts to pass the Smile Entity on by killing one criminal in front of another. The plan backfires spectacularly, inadvertently passing the curse onto an innocent bystander named Lewis Fregoli.


The film then shifts gears, introducing Skye Riley, a singer and performer making a triumphant return to the spotlight with a comeback tour after a tumultuous past. During a candid interview on the Drew Barrymore Show, Skye opens up about her struggles with addiction and the devastating loss of her boyfriend in a car accident. Her sobriety journey, however, faces a severe setback when she seeks pain relief from her old high school friend, the unwitting Lewis Fregoli. In a chilling turn of events, Lewis takes his own life while Skye watches, passing the Smile Entity onto her.
Unaware of her new cursed existence Skye gets on with rehearsing for her tour, but she begins to notice that strange things are happening. People are smiling at her in an unnatural way and she becomes the target of anonymous attacks and aggressions. When text messages begin to arrive from an unknown number, Skye decides to get some answers.

Highlights.

Let’s not beat about the bush. I found Smile 2 difficult to finish and was struggling at about the hour-and-a-half mark to stay awake. That being said it’s worth watching because everyone needs to see the 3-minute scene of the ‘smilers’ chasing Skye through her apartment. This was possibly the creepiest thing I’ve seen on a screen.  The buildup, the synchronicity of the movement of the actors and their positioning, the camera work, and the lighting. I have rewatched it several times and it doesn’t get old. If you are only interested in watching this, fast forward to the 123-minute mark and get ready to be impressed.

Drawbacks.

Where do I start?

My primary concern with Smile 2 is its striking resemblance to its predecessor. The narrative follows a familiar pattern: an attractive woman fleeing a supernatural force, grappling with hallucinations, experiencing a mental health decline, and culminating in the revelation someone close to Skye was the Smiling Entity after all. This repetitive structure diminishes the film’s impact.

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While the introduction of a new method for shedding the entity initially offered a glimmer of hope this concept wasn’t fully realized. It just served to add names to the line of people that the entity has infected in the past.

Furthermore, the film’s pacing suffers from excessive focus on Skye’s musical career. Scenes showcasing her stage rehearsals and music videos, while intended to establish her identity as a performer, feel unnecessary and detract from the narrative momentum. Yes, we understand she’s a performer, you told us, you don’t need to prove it. These scenes appear to artificially inflate the film’s runtime, suggesting a lack of confidence in the core story.

The Final Take.

Ultimately, Smile 2 fails to expand upon the established lore of the franchise. The film’s conclusion feels contrived, with a blatant setup for a third installment. Hopefully, if a ‘Smile 3’ is inevitable, the creative team will bring fresh ideas and avoid simply retreading familiar ground.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

Both Cthulhu’s granted for that one scene.

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Movies n TV

Goosebumps, Stay Out Of The Basement Pt 2, could have just been one part

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We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.

Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.

The story

We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.

David Schwimmer in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.

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I sure would have liked to see more about that.

Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.

Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.

Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.

What worked

The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.

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The series is called Goosebumps, after all.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.

To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.

 Francesca Noel in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.

Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.

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I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.

Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.

Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.

I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.

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All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Thriller Nite, Poem by Jennifer Weigel Plus

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So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)

The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
 
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
 
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
 
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.

Robot Dance found subverted street art altered photography from Jennifer Weigel's Reversals series
Robot Dance from Jennifer Weigel’s Reversals series

So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.

For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.

Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.
Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.

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