House of the Dragon S2 E1: Episode 1 Review and Recap – Son of a Son of a Sailor
Alright, buckle up, mofos! The dragons is back, and oh boy, do they mean business. With the premiere of House of the Dragons, our thirst for the high-flying, fire-breathing drama that we’ve been missing since Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings new new new series, the boys, and uhh…possibly your toilet after a ghostpepper whopper is finally being quenched (unlike your bottom after said whopper).
Lets dragon-dive headfirst back into the twisted, power-hungry realms of Westeros, where the names Targaryen, Stark, and the rest of the totally not hard to spell/remember names reign supreme.
Usually, I write these reviews on the fly (no pun!), but since KYRIE CANNOT MAKE ONE DAMN MORE ASSIST (not his fault, he tried the rest couldn’t shoot for crap after the passes)…errrmm…I mean, I think I was watching the game that I definitely did not lose a few grand on. ONE LOUSEY ASSIST! errmm….HoD…right.
Let’s drink to remember all that happened last season cuz..well…yeah….I mean, doesn’t HBO have two elf looking series set in middle earth at the same time? I honestly don’t know if this is the one with Dumbledore or Legolaissisis or the Bowtie Doctor or…. well, you get the picture.
We’ll remember what we totally forgot from last year, break down the key plot points (because who can keep up?), dive into the nitty-gritty details of this episode’s events, and speculate wildly about where Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen are taking us this time around in House of the Dragon season 2. So, if you’re ready to relive the glory, the gore, and the downright gut-wrenching politics of it all, stick with me. We’re in for a wild ride.
Immediate Recap: Remember last year? Me neither
So in this one:
Oh man, if your memory of last season is as foggy as mine, don’t sweat it! Let’s dust off those cobwebs and dive into a quick recap before we get lost in the new shenanigans of “House of the Dragon” season 2.
Basically, a bunch of white kids had sex with their King Daddy and that King Daddy went to one of the womens he was NOT *I think* sleeping with and said I will make YOU the heir to the throne–as long as nothing happens to me between now and the moment I will make this public and then yeah, you guessed it.
Ned Stark 2.0
I guess reusing old story lines is a good way to start a new series?
Now that you’re caught up…Let’s move to this new Season of “Who dey sleep with now?”
The Wall and Starks are even more boring in the olden days?
So, here we are again with the Starks and that big old icy Wall. Remember how we left off with Jacaerys Velaryon flying up to Winterfell to buddy up with Cregan Stark? Yeah, me neither. I guess the only person to really remember is the North. Cregan gave Jacaerys the whole ‘Winter is coming” spiel—classic Stark move, right? Maybe one will live beyond this season?
Who dis? Who dat? (Robot Rollcall of faces n names)
Alright, let’s roll call because Westeros’ lineup can be harder to keep track of than a Hanson/Lindsay Lohan convention.
Not gonna lie. I can’t tell these people apart. One dude wears a bowtie and the other is a pirate or something.
Key Plot Points and Themes in Episode 1
Narrative and Character Development
Oh, the drama unfolds! In the heart of Dragonstone, Rhaenyra Targaryen’s world is rocked not just by political upheaval but also personal tragedy. As she comforts her son Lucerys about his heritage (Okay, so Jim had to google this because he forgot the kid was a bastard…like, seriously, that’s how much of an impact the whole ‘who the daddy’ thing made on Jim). Then people try to get some sort of alliance going but –again– since we can’t tell one character from each other, no shits were given.
Remember the original GOT? How we had our FAVORITES and we would really go “fuck these people’ if one of our favs died? Some of us even had a ditching kill point (mine was Tyrion or Arya). We don’t have that here. Would I be upset if Matt Smith’s character dies? Probably, but only because there would be one less person I could remember (that and eye-patch guy).
Oh, and Smith’s character pays two people to kill someone and they, of course, don’t kill the right guy just some baby rando.
In short, nobody cared about any of the characters dying in this episode.
Conclusion and Looking Forward
As we wrap up our recap and analysis of “House of the Dragon” S2 E1, we have a lot to look forward to. We can look forward to (hopefully) character development so shits are given who is on throne or not or dead or not or fucking someone or not. So far, that hasn’t happened. The reason falls squarely on the shoulders of how they did Season 1: So. Much. Time. Shifts. Hard to care about someone you keep quantum leaping through their life at random.
I do hope this season has more plot and character development. I want to like this series. I think I can like this series, but honestly–if you did a side-by-side of the hobbit series and this…I couldn’t tell you which char was from what universe, and that’s not a good thing for either franchise.
This episode gets a pure rating of ‘maybe next time’
(2 / 5)
Seriously, if you think Jim is kidding about the two franchises looking alike, well….did you notice that he used LotR screenshots instead of GoT for some of these images?
House of Dragon S2E2: Coors Lite seems to have sponsored this episode. Remember, this is NOT a spoiler free review. It’s Jim watching the episode and writing random bits down without proof reading. …. much like what the show runners must have done with the season bible.
Without any further ado…our House of Dragon S2E2 Review! (Crap, that rhymes!)
That one prince dude is still dead and like so is the other one. No, not that one!
So apparently, Matt Smith didn’t mean to really have that one baby prince die or something. But you know, it’s easier to kill smaller ones than ones with eye-patches. I guess. I mean, does anyone care who killed a baby prince? It’s not like the rest of Westeros is going to see the dead kid on parade with his grieving…wait…what?
Are you shitting me? I haven’t seen this much of an obvious heart tug attempt since that one time I paid that Russian hooker to give me ‘the full trump’.
So..a populace of people who are very poor and really couldn’t give two shits who is in charge…are going to cry for you if you display a kid’s body? Sure. I guess it worked for (checks notes) Absolutely nobody before.
That other queen and the dude from Doctor Who’s conflict:
With an unforced error that one queen basically puts out the one guy who would literally kill for her. Is this a weird plot point I’m missing? So far the people who didn’t let Matt Smith’s character (man, we need a name for him. I mean one I can spell) do what he needed to do all sorta failed and died. Wonder if that’s foreshadowing or just an extra thing to go through to fill time?
And TWINS!!!:
Remember that one guy who was a twin of the other guy? And like they took opposing sides of the throne struggle? Nope? Well, me neither. Apparently Coors Lite is sponsoring this episode as the ‘you’ll go in and kill someone dressed as your twin’ trope gets used. It almost works. Sorta. Kinda. Okay, it’s not even close.
Not even a beard to tell the evil twin apart, we get rammed right into…a fight that ends in both of their deaths. That’s a missed opportunity, but I think a lot of this show might just be that: A missed opportunity.
New Hand aka OK Boomer
Looks like they tried a Boomer thing with HoD. The other other king kid (does this guy even have a name? Let’s call him Spanky Z). Spanky Z is all like I does what I want so I’ll kill every rat catcher and like hang them up and stuff. You know, things that Joffery would say was ‘a weak show’. Apparently, the populace doesn’t like being gutted and having their sons/fathers hung up dead on public display. Who knew?
The Hand knew, that’s who!!! Oh boy, is he ever going to take it to his grandson/nephew/niece (incest, amirite?)! Orr…..not. What I meant to say is, Oh boy! Won’t he ever just show how apparently weak a Hand he is and just resign after being replaced by some white cloak “definitely a virgin and not fuckin your mom’.
I think we’d care more if…we remembered anything from Season 1 about anyone here except this:
- 1. White Cloak dude fucked his mom
- 2. King dude is like not really the king but a pretender
- 3. Hand dude sold his 7 year old daughter to fuck the old king so she would be queen.
This episode was stronger than the last. I think they can still turn the ship around. I’d give this one a 4/5
I think that sums it up for our House of Dragon S2E2 Review. Now, back to that Coors Lite…
(4 / 5)
Season four of Amazon Prime’s The Boys launched on June 13th of this year. Having now watched the first episode, I believe I can safely say that this season is going to be bonkers.
Let’s discuss.
The story
When this episode begins, things aren’t going great for Homelander. He’s irritated at everyone around him for constantly agreeing with everything he says. He found a gray hair and is finally facing his own mortality. Oh, and he’s on trial for murdering a man last season.
Homelander decides he needs someone around him who will tell him the truth. Someone who can help him build a legacy. So he seeks out a sup named Sage, whose superpower is being the smartest person in the world. And what does he want with Sage? He wants her to help him destroy America.
Meanwhile, The Boys aren’t doing so well. They’ve been tasked with assassinating Neuman because she is the presumptive VP. But Neuman manages to avoid their assassination attempt by being literally bulletproof.
Unfortunately, The Boys aren’t bulletproof. And as we find out in this episode, one might not last much longer.
What worked
In fiction as in life, it is the little things that matter. It’s the small details that make the difference between a fine show and an exceptional one. This episode was full of such little details. One such detail was Homelander finding gray pubic hairs.
The reason why this distinction is important is because later in the episode we find out that his stylist has been dying his hair. She’s been intentionally hiding the fact that he’s going gray. This is important because it’s just one more person in Homelander’s life who is being dishonest with him. And I think that is what’s going to finally crack him.
The timing of this season is something I’d like to shed some light on. It is so fitting that this came out during an election year. Because of course, The Boys is mimicking the very real infighting we’re experiencing in America. We’ve all seen protests break out into violence. We’ve all seen important trials spark controversy. This is just so much like our real experience, except that in The Boys, the megalomaniac blond man baby is competent and good at things.
Finally, I was amused and impressed with the evolution of Neuman’s character. She is a politician, through and through. The way she can smile at someone while threatening them, and then make a pithy quip at their expense is fantastic. She made me laugh almost every time she was on screen.
What didn’t work
If I have one complaint about this episode, it’s that a lot happened in this episode. We have a whole bunch of plotlines going on here. Like, so many things. Butcher’s health, Homelander’s aging, Ryan’s future, Frenchie’s new boyfriend, Annie’s charity, Sage’s plotting, Butcher’s old friend, A-Train and The Deep growing discontent. And I’m sure I’m forgetting a few. This is just a lot to keep track of. And I just hope they have enough time and space to do them all justice.
Overall, I have high hopes for this season. And Amazon must too, because it appears that season five is already in the works. But for now, we’ll be back very soon to discuss episode two of The Boys.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing you can get my short story, Man In The Woods, on Smashwords and Amazon.
Computers are all the rage. Of course, you already knew that. But did you know that scientists, those denizens of deep throaty maniacal laughter and storms brewing over dark brooding castles, are building tiny brain computers now? So apparently this is what all the zombies are being used for… They’re the lackeys getting the goods. No surprise there, though, zombies do make good lackeys.
16 Mini Brains
It’s catchy. Like a jingle. And those sixteen mini brains are getting all sorts of attention nowadays. Apparently they’re all over social media. We don’t know what truths they think they’ll find there, but it has been said they do like to play Pong, so maybe some of those other kind of mindless clicker games will have similar appeal. Anyway, we’ve caught a rare glimpse of these little items of incidental intellect, through our prompting of the NightCafe AI art generator. And they’re kinda cute. See these renditions of the tiny brain computers for yourself.
Mushrooming Mayhem
It’s not just tiny brain computers though. Those sneaky scientists have also been experimenting with mycelium, harnessing the fungal power of mushrooms to make mental machine magic. Or create computer craft as it were. So what happens when the tiny brain computers and the mushroom computers start talking? Well, we aren’t sure, but we suspect the manifesting motherboard mushroom man would know. You’ll have to ask him. We hear he’s a fun guy.
So What Do the Ethicists Think About All This?
I have to admit, I don’t know any ethicists to ask about the topic, but that career path sure beats archaeology. All we know is that the scientists are at it again, and they haven’t had the best track record for working with ethicists, though morality has been a kind of touch and go subject through the course of human history anyway.
And the whole idea has been a big influence on AI generated art, with all sorts of people prompting all kinds of crazy combinations of computer creatures crawling with creepiness into the realms of dystopian nightmare. In fact, more of these stories seem to be illustrated using AI art generation than including actual images of the real life results, perhaps because the reality is that petri dishes of cells and fungal fragments really aren’t that interesting visually, just kind of snotty looking kin to the Blob…
