13 Days of Krampus: Human-Like
Ed waited eagerly like a dog at the door as he watched the delivery driver struggle with the large package on his driveway, slipping briefly on the ice and cursing.
When the man got closer, Ed flung open the door, startling him.
“Is that it?” Ed wheezed through the tremor of excitement before correcting himself, “Is that her?”
The driver’s bushy face was unamused. He hated most American holidays, but this one in particular. It meant more work for the same pay, longer hours, and more complaints, just to cater to a festival he didn’t believe in.
“Sign here,” he responded, noticing the lack of tip for almost killing himself on the driveway.
Ed quickly signed and with that, he was the proud owner of a Forever Wife, a “fully automatically human-like wife”. He had already named her Celeste and she was the woman of his dreams.
He had made sure of that.
***
The first indication was during their second night. Surprisingly, it was painful and he noticed the sores and scrapes on his skin with disgust. Grabbing a flashlight, he examined her mouth, looking for whatever had scraped his most sensitive flesh.
While the gaping lipsticked mouth and tongue were smooth and inviting, he quickly found the culprit. Her teeth were hard and sharp; the glossy enamel brilliantly reflecting the light.
Ed was surprised, and slightly disappointed, at his wife’s level of authenticity. It made things more difficult and he’d have to take special precaution to avoid her teeth in the future. Even her jaws had an inflexibility to them, as he watched the mouth close and clench into a tight smile…
***
The second was on their fifth night. While in bed, he became enraptured with their love, pushing down on her chest with his thick hand.
Suddenly, he felt a deep, sharp crack under his palm, felt it echo through his ears, like a bone breaking under his frenzied strain.
Immediately he withdrew to inspect her, terrified that he had somehow broken the Christmas gift his parents had sent. He had the bad habit of breaking things by accident and knew that she was much too expensive to replace.
Thankfully, she seemed perfectly fine.
He resumed without hesitation.
***
The third and final time was two weeks later.
After carefully making sure that her mouth was functioning and flexible, he again began to use it. She seemed to become more flexible as time progressed, more accepting of his body and the positions, which delighted Ed.
He didn’t realize anything was wrong until he felt warmth and wetness in his hands as he clutched her face. Horrified, he glanced down to look at her face, at where they connected.
It was like looking at her for the first time, finally seeing her, and he witnessed the wet pleading in her soft eyes as they openly wept below him.
“What the hell-” was all he managed before those human-like jaws smoothly closed like a trap, without any hesitation.
Continuing our AI journey from last time exploring Little Red Riding Hood herself as the Big Bad Wolf… All of these are based upon the AI generated art and prompts using NightCafe and then created as posters in Canva.
How very… Phantom of the Opera predatory… this is definitely not what I had in mind. Maybe something more cutesy?
Ugh. Maybe not.
Wow, that seems like such a cop out, cropping off the head so you don’t have to depict it. And I don’t want to lose the Little Red Riding Hood reference completely.
So no surprise there, I knew that was too many references to work.
And we continued to devolve, join us again next week for the final installment to see how this ended… And again, if you want to catch the last AI art journey, you can find it on Haunted MTL here. To see more such devolutions into AI generated art, check out the Will the Real Jennifer Weigel Please Stand Up? blog.
And as promised in Big Bad Poetry, we shall embark on our next AI journey, this time looking at Little Red Riding Hood. I had wanted to depict her as the Big Bad Wolf one and the same, although maybe not so big nor bad. But it just wasn’t happening quite as planned. All of these are based upon the AI generated art and prompts using NightCafe and then created as posters in Canva.
So I actually like this even better than my original vision, it is playful and even a bit serene (especially given the Sinister style). The wolf is just being a wolf. It’s quite lovely, really. But it wasn’t what I had in mind, so I revisited the idea later to see if I could get that result…
Well, that’s not quite right…
Yeah more of the same…
And as you can see this is starting to devolve quickly. Join us again next week to see how this continued to develop… And if you want to catch the last AI art journey, you can find it on Haunted MTL here. To see more such devolutions into AI generated art, check out the Will the Real Jennifer Weigel Please Stand Up? blog.
So considering my recent revival of a wolfwere and his Lucky Days and Nightmarish Nature’s hostile humanity, it seems we are due for a visit from Little Red Riding Hood, or perhaps even Big Bad himself… Here’s a poem on the subject by Jennifer Weigel.
Over the river and through the wood
flashed the fleet-footed Red Riding Hood
on her way to her “grandmother’s” house.
When running past, who should she see
but just one of the little pigs three
cowering like but a tiny mouse.
“But my dear piggy, what do you fear?”
Red Riding Hood asked as she slunk near,
teeth hidden under a sheepish smile.
The nervous small pig looked up in fright
and decided that Red was alright,
missing the subtle clues by a mile.
“The Big Bad Wolf, that horrible beast
upon the other wee pigs did feast!”
the last little pig said with a squeal.
Red Riding Hood laughed with a great growl
and threw back her heavy long-robed cowl,
in a vast terrifying reveal.
For she was really the wolf Big Bad
hidden beneath the cape that he had
stolen from Red Riding Hood at point.
“And now I’ve caught you too my pretty
and surely t’wouldn’t be a pity
if I gobbled you up in this joint.”
T’was then the wee pig leapt to his feet
And cried, “Big Bad Wolf, I shall defeat,
for I am no ordinary swine!”
The little pig also wore sheep’s clothes
spun in spells every woodland witch knows;
Old Granny herself was quite divine.
“Now give me back my granddaughter’s cape,
before I grab you by your ruffed nape
and send you pig-squealing down the road…”
The wolf dropped the cape and ran, that cur,
but Granny was swifter and hexed his fur
and the wolf she turned into a toad.
Thus the moral of this story goes,
when in the woods, no one really knows
what sheepish sheep’s clothing is a ruse
that big bad wolves and old witches use.
So this is actually an intro to my next AI art journey with NightCafe which developed from me not getting the results I wanted (Little Red Riding Hood herself as a wolf). Here’s a preview with Eric’s versions as he is much more literal in his prompting than I am, but where’s the fun in that? 😉
Prompts (from left to right) in Dark Fantasy style, executed Aug. 1, 2023:
Bipedal wolf in Red Riding Hood’s cloak
Bipedal wolf in Red Riding Hood’s cloak close up portrait
Bipedal wolf in red cloak close up portrait
Feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or on her writing, fine art, and conceptual projects websites.
Jennifer Weigel
December 18, 2020 at 9:06 am
Eerily too lifelike…