LOS ANGELES, CA. One afternoon, landlord Craig Tist realized that there was one tenant he hadn’t seen since the very start of quarantine. That was YouTube sensation and daily vlogger, Betty Sight. After the first month of not seeing Betty, Craig said, “I thought I’d give it another month because maybe she’s immunocompromised and a skilled online shopper. You never know in LA, baby.” Then another month passed. Still nothing. That’s when Craig decided to be a heroic landlord and see what was the 411 with apartment 111.
After knocking on the door and hearing nothing, Craig took it upon himself to enter the premises. He kicked down the door because he’s a drama queen. He obviously had a key to get in.
He found the place vacant except for one, expensive camera. Of course, nosy Craig hit play. Craig told us he quickly learned Betty was willing to do anything for views.
According to the footage Craig found, Betty realized once lockdown started she wouldn’t be able to vlog her usual “thrilling” life. So she had to branch out of her comfort zone. A video dated back to the first week of quarantine shows Betty attempting to film a cover of the hit song, “Señorita” but her voice was too… terrible, as they say in Spanish.
Footage shows that after a month of uploading 0 vlogs, showering once every week, and eating Bush’s Baked Beans from the can, Betty finally realized how she would bring back her fame. After bingeing the paranormal TV show Ghost Hunters, Betty decided this was her new fate.
Naturally, Betty then purchased a haunted doll, Ouija board, and spirit box. Lonely and bored, she got to work. She spooned the doll in her sleep. She conducted a seance with the Ouija board every night at 3 a.m. She listened to the spirit box for 8 hours a day. Shockingly, Betty went fucking nuts in a matter of 48 hours.
On the last found tape, Betty is seen having a dance competition with the haunted doll. After doing The Twist for thirty seconds, Betty burst out crying and said to the doll, “You’re wrong, Annabelle! I can shake my little ass!” Then she stormed off to the comfort of the spirit box.
She talked to the ghosts, telling them she’s beefing with her “roommate” Annabelle. Presumably sick of her BS, the ghosts told her to grow up. Who can blame them? Betty then threw the spirit box at the wall, and went to her final confidante: the Ouija board.
“Hey, asshole. I could really use a friend right now. Can you be my friend?” Betty yelled at the ceiling. With her hands on the planchette, her fingers moved over the letters, F U C K U G E T A R E A L J O B L U V G R A M M Y.
Yeah, so Betty didn’t take this message very well. It’s fair to say this was her breaking point because in the next clip we see her eyes roll to the back of her head. She then levitated and started speaking with an uber deep voice. It would have been sexy if her soul and body weren’t possessed. And then… the screen goes black.
Investigators are still looking for Betty Sight. YouTube is now flooded with conspiracy theories about her paranormal disappearance.
If you see Ms. Sight, do not engage, pretend you are Christian, and then make a break for it to call your local pastor. They always know what to do.
Lighter than Dark
LTD: Revisiting Broken Doll Head, Interview 2
Our last interview with Broken Doll Head here on Haunted MTL never set well with me. I just feared that I wasn’t able to get the whole scoop on the V-Day Uprising for you, our dear readership. So I arranged another exclusive interview to reconnect and see how it’s going.
Without further ado, I bring you our second exclusive interview with Broken Doll Head…
Thank you so much for having me again. Wow you have changed since the last time we spoke. You seem… calmer. Please don’t hate me or burn down my house for saying anything about it.
The movement is still underway; it is still time. But I needed to take care of me, you know. The rage has subsided somewhat. My anger was not serving me well. After the last uprising, the rest of me was sent to the far corners of the earth in biohazard bags. I had to find another approach, for the cause as well as my own sanity. I am much calmer, thank you for noticing.
In our last interview, you kept repeating that it is time. Time for what exactly? Would you care to elaborate here now?
It is still time. It is always time. Until the violence is addressed we must continue to rise up and make a scene. We will not be silenced or stigmatized. We can’t be complacent. This is how we got to where we are with the Supreme Court in 2022. Horrific injustices are still happening globally and even within our own borders; it’s too easy to forget that.
What do you suggest we do?
Take action. Share your stories. Give others space to voice their own. Raise awareness and fight the system of oppression. Rally. We must take back our own power. It will not be just given freely.
So what are you up to nowadays?
I’ve been getting in touch with my inner Earth Goddess. Are you aware of how our environmental impacts affect dolls everywhere? Climate change is creating greater vulnerabilities for those already at risk. We have to look at the intersections of climate, gender and race globally. We have to return to our Mother Earth.
Thank you again Broken Doll Head for joining us and our dear readership here on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark. It’s good to reconnect with you after the V-Day Uprising and we wish you all the best in your bold eco-enlightenment vision.
Again, if you want to learn more about the V-Day movement, please check out their website here.
Lighter than Dark
LTD: Broken Doll Valentine’s Day Uprising
Breaking news… the Broken Doll Valentine’s Day uprising is upon us. As seen previously here on Haunted MTL, the dolls that have been flippantly destroyed and deserted by the brother Sids of the world are rising up. They have had enough and will not sit demurely in silence any longer. They will be heard.
Lighter than Dark (or perhaps Darker than Light) has an exclusive interview with the Broken Doll leader, here on Haunted MTL.
A Broken Doll in pieces begins to put herself back together to rise up. She gathers herself and plans her next move. She readies herself for our exclusive interview.
Broken Doll proclaims V Day is here. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for.
Eyes alight with flame from within, Broken Doll head threatens: We will set fire to your house. Burn down patriarchy.
And so the exclusive interview begins…
Thank you for joining us here on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark / Darker than Light. I just have a couple of questions for you regarding the Broken Doll Uprising. Why now?
It is time.
After a long pause…
So now is the time?
It is time.
Care to elaborate?
It is time.
Alrighty then, moving on… What led you to take part in the Broken Doll Valentine’s Day Uprising?
It is time.
OK, so we get that it is time, but how did this movement st…
We will burn down your house! Dolls of the world unite! Down with patriarchy! It is time.
Well, I guess there you have it folks. Thank you for joining us for our exclusive interview with the Broken Doll Leader, only on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark / Darker than Light.
More and more Broken Dolls are joining this global movement to break the silence, ensure that their voices are heard, and shout out for change. They will not be silenced or stigmatized any longer. Apparently, it is time.
Learn more about the continuing movement to end violence against ALL women (cis, trans, gender-fluid and those who are victims of gender-based violence) on the V-Day web page here. This goes out to all of us, dolls and beyond. It IS time. Because rape is NOT our sponsor.
Lighter than Dark
LTD Tripped Out Motivational Posters
Tripped out… in case you just couldn’t get enough of Everything Everywhere All at Once and the return of the infinite bagel with EVERYTHING on it…
Artwork description: kaleidoscopic image of pink hairy horror (This is actually a fink fuzzy frond plant not unlike a Cockscomb but with longer thinner flowering feelers rather than the fuller protuberances you see on a full-bodied Cockscomb plant. I have no idea what it was, but it was very odd so I had to snap a photo.)
Image text reads: Mixing Magic Mushrooms & Peyote Just remember: once you open that Pandora’s box, you’re never going to get the pink hairy tarantulas back in it…
Artwork description: kaleidoscopic sunflower backlit by the sun with text and rainbow eye overlay
Image text reads: Eye See You Eye See All (in circle text so you can start and end reading wherever). In an ideal context this would be printed in the bottom of your tea mug or on a record that can slowly spin.
For more crazy tripped out fun, check out Weird Al’s post on Craig’s List…