SEATTLE, Wash. — Samara Morgan, vengeful ghost and star of a cursed viral video, has asked fans to stop sharing the video on popular social media app TikTok. Ms. Morgan posted a “storytime” video on the app today, appearing with her long dark hair in a messy bun and holding a Venti Iced Mocha from Starbucks. “I’m sorry to disappoint you guys, but I just couldn’t pull my look together today. I’ve been working overtime,” she explained at the beginning of the video.
Ms. Morgan’s viral fame began in October of 2002, when a videotape she created circulated among teens in the Pacific Northwest area. Watching the eerie images on the tape, including a glowing ring symbol, bloody water, and Ms. Morgan herself, dooms the viewer to die in seven days. In her recent TikTok, Ms. Morgan explained her motivation for the murders: “I was super pissed at my mom for throwing me down that well, so I guess that’s why I started acting out. But then I got famous, which was awesome, so I just kept going.”
Ms. Morgan continued, “It was a lot more manageable back then; I just had to kill a few teens here and there after slumber parties. Eventually, everybody stopped watching VHS tapes so I didn’t murder anyone for like, years,” she said.
Things changed, however, when the recent COVID-19 pandemic caused many young adults to move back in with their parents. “I was just lying in my coffin, scrolling through TikTok, when I found my old ring video on there!” Ms. Morgan told her viewers. “I think someone found it in their parents’ basement and thought posting it would be ironic or something. I was psyched at first, but then I realized it had a crazy amount of likes. By the time I came across it, millions of people had already seen it.”
Fame can be murder
Ms. Morgan, visibly drained, continued in her video, “Do you know how hard it is to kill literally millions of people worldwide? I haven’t slept in months. I’m living off Starbucks and Monster energy drinks. Well, not actually living, but you know what I mean.” Ms. Morgan then went on to explain that she had created her own TikTok channel to reach out to her viewers. “Guys, please, STOP sharing this video,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. “I need to get some rest. My girl Sadako in Japan has been helping me out, but even the two of us can’t keep up.”
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Ms. Morgan then told her fans that even though they should stop sharing the original video, they are welcome to subscribe to her TikTok channel where she plans to do makeup tutorials and possibly the “Savage” dance. “I’ve been working on throwing it back,” she said proudly. “Maybe that one will go viral next.”
Kristin Cleaves writes horror and dark fiction. Her work has been published by Quill and Crow Publishing House, Ghost Orchid Press, Black Telephone Magazine, and more.
Work is letting you go. Amidst all of the layoffs, you just didn’t make the cut. Well, I’m sorry to say, but it behooves you to go quietly. And quickly. Because you don’t want to stick around for the Firing Squad…
In fact, if your HR department is outsourced to one of those Eldritch contractors like so many are nowadays, get outta dodge NOW. Like seriously. Leave the lunch you brought in the fridge; leave the personal items in and on and around your desk. Hell, leave your coat and purse if you are not near them. You can get new ones. Maybe one of your ex-coworkers can help you retrieve your stuff later. Because you need to get out while the getting is still good.
The Firing Squad is coming.
And if they so much as see a pink slip anywhere in your immediate vicinity, it is complete and total annihilation…
Be sure to follow these simple library rules to ensure that you don’t end up victim to some Cthulhoid Lovecraftian nightmare. Because all of those books in one place can only mean one thing – certain doom!
Artwork description: A bloody female face with metallic crystalline eyes stares blankly at you from her strange ensemble of splattered fur trimmed weirdness. She leans against front of an overflowing bookshelf, guarding its contents.
Image text reads: Welcome to the library. Please follow these simple rules to ensure your safety and the well-being of those around you.
1.) Be quiet. the Eldritch horrors are sleeping. Do NOT awaken them. Ever.
2.) Do NOT open any portals to any interdimensional voids while here at the library. Please check out any such books and do so at home at your own risk.
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3.) Do NOT recite any spells, hexes, or incantations in any books found herein, even accidentally. Again, do so at home at your own risk if you must do so at all.
4.) Do NOT smile at the librarians under any circumstance. Doing so will invite terror beyond mortal comprehension.
5.) Do NOT burn or deface any of the books. This incites otherworldly wrath.
6.) The library will NOT be responsible should you awaken any Eldritch horrors, open any interdimensional portals, cast any spells, smile at the librarians, or burn or deface any of the books. Any attacks to your person, belongings, soul, or next of kin are solely your responsibility; you are NOT entitled to legal, medical, monetary, spiritual, or any other compensations on behalf of the library or any of its affiliates, either here, extraplanar, and/or beyond.
If the Metaverse isn’t all-encompassing enough for you (or if you simply don’t have the time to join in the fun there), you may want to look into the big new fad on the horizon: Dream Subscription Service. You simply sign up with some of the lesser demon angel types and you’re set. Visions will start coming in your sleep almost immediately.
There are different types of Dream Subscription to sign up for.
You have your surreal shit, the working through things dreams, prophesies, sexual fantasies, night terrors… You name it, they offer it.
There are some caveats, though.
Celebrity appearances are not included in base packages; cameos cost extra depending on demand. Upload speeds may vary depending on location and times spent resting. And Dream Subscription Service will not be held responsible for what you do in your waking hours in response to visions received. Oh, and there is a chance that you might be driven to madness. But just be sure to read all 197 pages of fine print to get all the details worked out for yourself.
How do I sign up?
If you are interested, just repeat the same chant three times before going to bed and a sales rep will visit you in your sleep.
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Sign me up now. Sign me up now. Sign me up now.
Registration Chant
There may be a waiting list, but they usually tend to get through the queue in a couple of nights. It can be easier signing on as a new Dream Subscription Service client if you sleep at odd hours though. Sometimes it also helps if you write Dream Subscription Service Sign Me Up Now in the steam on your bathroom mirror before going to bed. Or spin backwards in a circle three times while chanting.
Note: Do NOT use Dream Subscription Service if you are currently taking JeeperzCreeperz or have done so any time in the last century. That shit’ll fuck you up.
Also Note: Make sure you are signing up with the one and only original Dream Subscription Service and not one of those knockoff Cthulhu variants. Those are pretty much guaranteed to drive you insane (it’s even in their fine print in Eldritch Horror speak).
And if you really want to know more about a dream you’ve had, consider dream interpretation to get some ideas of possible symbolism. There are several Dream Dictionaries online including this one available through Psychologist World.
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Brianna Schullo
May 20, 2020 at 6:30 pm
Even spirits can’t help themselves with the Savage dance.