Review: 1977’s “Snowbeast” is (basically) Live-Action SkiFree
Hey people, I’m back from taking a break and enjoying my Pride. But here I am, back in the saddle and ready to rattle!
So, for this month, I am going to feast my eyes on the fast and the furry-ous. That’s right, for the month of July 2021, I am digging into the cryptid well and featuring everyone’s favorite furry cryptid – Bigfoot.
Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Abominable Snowman, etc. Whatever he/she/they would like to be called, I am going to embrace their stinky, hairy selves.
And I’m starting off with the made-for-TV movie, Snowbeast (1977).
The Plot:
A skiing paradise is getting ready for the winter festivities, The Snow Festival! The resort is run by a grandmother/grandson duo, Carrie and Tony (70’s Bill Hader-wannabe), who are making sure everything goes according to plan and on schedule.
Arriving on the scene is also one time Olympian and long-time friend of Tony’s, Gar (70’s Gordan Ramsey-doppelganger, see below) and his wife, Ellen (poor man’s Mia Farrow).
Everything seems to be in place except for the mysterious random attacks on the skiers and the high tensions between Tony, Gar and Ellen as they dive into their past…and consider what might have been…
Thoughts:
I have a strange affinity for 70’s skiing and disaster movies.I don’t know why or how, but I do and I’ve learned to accept it. Maybe it’s just bell-bottoms in the snow. Maybe the Farrah Fawcett hair trapped under clunky, gross hats. I don’t know…But I eat it up like Bigfoot eats up tourists.
So, that is to say that I really enjoyed this movie.
It’s basically a mash up of just two movies. Jaws and Avalanche (the Rock Hudson/Mia Farrow movie). There are several elements pulled from both and as boring as that can be…I also found it shyly delightful.
The monster doesn’t show his face often, but it’s surprisingly often by day. And it’s just a basic white Sasquatch costume…it’s fine. They tried their best. But to be honest, Bigfoot didn’t play a huge role, so if you’re really looking for some furry action (no comment or judgement), you might want to look elsewhere.
I did love the extras and was sometimes a little worried for them, especially the children in the high school. This was the 70’s and a low-budget movie…are we sure they survived it? They were shoved around pretty good. You kids be careful!
Surprisingly, there really wasn’t much dramatic tension between the people in the “love triangle” (if I can even call it that). There was one time Gar caught Tony kissing Ellen and it was mostly played as, “Hey…so what was up with that?”
In fact, a few scenes later and these two dudes are alone in a steamy pool together, talking about a Sasquatch in their midst and complimenting each other on their skills.
Which, again, I’m absolutely fine with.
Brain Roll Juice:
Honestly, I mean…There’s not much. But….But. You know I’m going to write something.
But as I briefly mentioned, I was concerned with a few of the extras who I believe were children. Like, in one scene, they are jostled in every direction and one in the back seems to fall pretty hard. And I would hate anyone to be hurt in the name of Snowbeast, especially a child.
And while these were extras, the use of child actors has had a harried past.
In the paper, “Children in the Entertainment Industry: Are they Being Protected – An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches” by Robert A. Martis, Martis puts into perspective the lax laws surrounding child actors, especially before the tragic events of The Twilight Zone movie, in which Actor Vic Morrow and two child actors were killed on set.
In his paper, he shows that many laws regarding childhood actors could vary state-to-state in the United States and usually fell onto the parent(s) of the minor. But this wasn’t always in their best interest. For example, in 1983, Brooke Shields, “sought to disaffirm a prior unrestricted consent executed on her behalf by her mother and to enjoin photographer Garry Gross from using photos taken of her when she was ten years old, some of which were taken when plaintiff was posed nude in a bathtub.”
However, because her mother gave prior “unrestricted” consent, Brooke Shields didn’t have a legal leg to stand on and the photographer could do basically anything he wanted with her nude bathtub pictures from when she was ten years old.
Which puts a few things into perspective when watching child actors of days past.
Bottomline:
A dramatic live-action movie of SkiFree – what’s not to love? Oh, yeah…let’s help those kids up.
(3 / 5)
Citation: Robert A. Martis, Children in the Entertainment Industry: Are they Being Protected – An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches, 8 Loy. L.A. Ent. L. Rev. 25 (1988). Available at: https://digitalcommons.lmu.edu/elr/vol8/iss1/2
I’ve just finished watching the sixth episode of season three of American Horror Stories, titled Clone. In which a young man has to live with the clone of his lover after said lover has health complications. And, well, that’s 47 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
The story
Our story begins with a quiet birthday celebration between our two main characters, John and David. David is a billionaire who’s getting on in years. He’s frustrated by what he perceives to be a lack of drive in his younger partner. But when David has a stroke and needs to seek serious medical care, he sends a clone of himself to keep John company.
At first, John is incredibly put off by the clone. Until he realizes that the clone might just be the real love of his life.
What worked
This wasn’t a completely terrible episode. There was a lot about the premise that I enjoyed.
Most of the tension in this episode comes from John feeling like he isn’t in control of his life. He feels, rightfully so, that David is simply telling him how to live. And this is something that I don’t think we talk about enough.
This also comes up when John’s horrible friend, Jordan, tries to assault him. Once again, John feels entirely out of control of his life. He feels like a victim, and rightfully so.
I enjoyed the scene in which the David clone kills Jordan and chops him up in little pieces. This was a delightfully bloody romp, funny and dark.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, that’s where the good part of the story stops. And most of the good acting stops with it.
Look, I usually have high expectations for acting in American Horror Story. I was especially expecting good things when I saw that David was played by Victor Garber. And that man has never acted badly in his life.
While I won’t say that Garber did a bad job here, he’s far too professional for that, I will say that it felt like he was phoning it in. He just didn’t seem like he was having fun. And that’s the kindest thing I can say about the acting.
No one else knew what the hell they were doing. It’s impossible to tell whether the main character John, played by Guy Burnet, is emotionless or just high the whole time. He can barely seem to work up any emotions, even when being almost assaulted.
The poor acting plays a part in this story being very, very dull. There are a few fun scenes, like the slaughter of Jordan. But they are shoved between long boring scenes where characters talk to each other about nothing interesting and chop onions.
I’d also like to complain about the ending. I’m going to try not to spoil it, like I did for the last episode. So I’ll be as vague as possible. Yes, it’s true that I didn’t see the ending coming. But that’s because the ending makes no sense.
Look, we all want to be surprised by an ending. But that surprise only works if it makes sense. If we can look back on the story and see the breadcrumbs that brought us here, then it’s great. But if you just throw in a twist that doesn’t fit, just to have a surprise ending, then that just feels cheap. This ending felt cheap.
Finally, and this isn’t just a complaint about this episode, I am so sick of stories about rich people walking around their rich houses with their rich problems. I am, in short, sick of rich main characters.
Killer Queens, I am starting to feel discouraged. This episode of American Horror Stories was not good television. Neither was the last one. In fact, the whole last season of American Horror Story was pretty terrible. But there are three episodes left in this season. So I’m going to hold out hope that this season has some good chills and gore waiting for us still.
Hopefully, they won’t let me down.
(2 / 5)
Movies n TV
Juju Stories (2022), a Film Review
Juju Stories (2022) is a horror anthology of Nigerian folklore, evoking the directorial visions of C.J. Obasi, Abba Makama, & Michael Omonua.
Juju Stories (2022) is a horror anthology following tales of Nigerian folklore and juju, evoking the directorial visions of C.J. Obasi, Abba Makama, and Michael Omonua. This unrated film stars Belinda Agedah Yanga, Paul Utomi, Elvis Poko, Don Ekwuazi, Nengi Adoki, and Bukola Oladipupo. As of this review, the film is only available on Amazon Prime.
Mercy (Belinda Agedah Yanga) uses a juju potion to entice her lover (Paul Utomi as Leonard). Amos (Don Ekwuazi) wanders the streets, unaware his life will change forever. Chinwe (Bukola Oladipupo) suffers misfortune as others claim her friend is a witch (Nengi Adoki as Joy).
Thoughts on Juju Stories’ “Love Potion” by Michael Omonua
The first “chapter” of Juju Stories follows a story of false love and manipulation. While not a particularly scary story, it earns recognition as the most unsettlingly real. The juju empowers a type of manipulation that we find in too many relationships. Of the three short films, “Love Potion” provides an intimate cinematography, perfectly feeding into the delusion of the characters. This entry appeals to me most, though I admit it’s likely not the entry that haunts a viewer. It’s the least concerned in horrifying the audience, with only one moment of body horror that might get some level of engagement in said area. A final note of approval is Belinda Agedah Yanga’s Mercy. Her performance seems the strongest of the three shorts, though “Love Potion” gives her more to work with as the central character.
A few considerations for viewers are the concept of a love potion in general, forcing a victim to love the owner of said potion. Another consideration is the brief moment of body horror. Though, a more accurate description leans toward bodily horror. It intentionally indulges in the grotesque to solidify the dark implications. However, it’s not proper body horror or particularly grotesque for most horror fans.
Thoughts on Juju Stories’ “YAM” by Abba Makama
“YAM” provides the most politically charged entry of Juju Stories, following characters of different economic classes as they live their lives. This entry provides a fabulism to its horror that leans towards metaphor or symbolism. The focus feels too scattered for my liking, but I recognize my own ignorance of juju or Nigerian culture might make the social critique misfire for me. However, it balances three plotlines within its time frame. A full-length feature might better explore the message of “YAM.”
The only consideration that comes to mind is that of mental illness. However, the examples in question lean more toward the fabulism aspects of the short film. Still, the story does show a character’s breaking mental state.
Thoughts on Juju Stories’ “Suffer the Witch” by C.J. Obasi
Of the three entries in Juju Stories, “Suffer the Witch” earns a placement as the most horror-focused short film. As an anthology revolving around juju, it’s only natural a witch occupies space in Juju Stories. “Suffer the Witch” creates a more haunting and horrifying plot, producing a genuinely effective witch horror in a short runtime. However, it’s also the entry that targets the youngest audience, focusing on teens in high school. The tone reflects this target audience.
There is a brief moment of nudity. It’s not particularly exploitative, aside from the target audience being younger. Another point of consideration is the queer coding of the villain added at the end. It’s interpretable, but it’s a point worth mentioning for consideration.
Final Thoughts
Juju Stories provides three short films rooted in Nigerian juju folklore and culture. The concept stands out against other potential competitors. Each entry adds a different interest to appeal to a wider audience, but this decision also means not all will haunt said audience. When there are only three entries to discuss, that could mean one-third doesn’t hit the mark, if not more.
This film earned 4 awards and 1 nomination, making respectable waves with critics.
(2.5 / 5)
Movies n TV
“C is for Cannibal” (Evil: S2E13)
“C is for Cannibal” is the season 2 finale of the supernatural drama Evil. The assessors investigate a man struggling for long pig cuisine.
“C is for Cannibal” is the season 2 finale of the supernatural drama Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. It originally aired under CBS before moving to Paramount+. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
The assessors investigate a man struggling for long pig cuisine. David (Mike Colter) nears his ordination to become a recognized priest of the Catholic church. Kristen (Katja Herbers) finds her family in danger and struggles not to fall down old cycles. Ben (Aasif Mandvi) throws a party. Leland (Michael Emerson) provides a service to the church.
What I Like about “C is for Cannibal”
While “C is for Cannibal” doesn’t imply a sole direction for season 3, it raises the stakes and shows a new willingness to explore the demonic and supernatural. This direction accumulates with an effective reveal at the midpoint of the episode. Most shows might include that reveal at the end, but Evil displays a growing confidence in its special effects.
The episode ends with a few great reveals, some dark and others optimistic, which will leave room for season 3 to explore. Viewers learn a lot about the forces in Evil, from the purpose of the sigils to demonic rituals. It retroactively contextualizes the last episode, though I won’t say it refutes the goofiness. However, “C is for Cannibal” shows a darker transformation.
Though executed in a different manner, the parallels to last season’s finale and the new responses show growth for all characters. This growth includes Leland taking a more direct approach to his plots. At this point in the series, viewers have seen the characters develop for better or worse.
While not the most haunting episode, “C is for Cannibal” delivers on many plotlines, finally paying off some of the most pressing mysteries. It also increases the stakes, exploring further how the supernatural remains an ever-growing and real threat to the characters involved.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
There are several fantasies that show nude bodies. These scenes are intentionally voyeuristic and exclusively include female bodies. Again, there’s a reason, and these moments are brief, but I’ll note it here.
There are some bad therapy moments for the plot, purposely done to express a low point and bring another character to their own low point. Another story development suggests future manipulations from similar positions of power.
Another point of infidelity might be an issue for some. As the episode ends with this moment, “C is for Cannibal” suggests that this relationship will remain a key plot point for season 3.
What I Dislike about “C is for Cannibal”
When one of her children comments on Kristen’s corpse smell, I find it odd that she jumps into strange assumptions when her assignment provides a good reason for the smell. This decision likely suggests guilt or trauma, but the point is unexplored.
As a finale of a season with an expected season, the ending’s cliffhanger undermines its impact. Now that season 3 is available, the ambiguous ending gets an immediate resolution, making it less effective.
There are 26 letters in the English alphabet and 13 episodes in season 2. Yet, Evil manages to repeat C for two of the episodes. I still love the title gimmick, and it’s the smallest issue, but it seems like a wasted opportunity.
Final Thoughts on “C is for Cannibal”
“C is for Cannibal” concludes season 2 by providing some needed clarity on relevant mysteries. While it ends in an ineffective cliffhanger, the episode raises the stakes for season 3. The procedural plot remains an interesting storyline that ties directly with what season 2 previously built. As a finale, it does lack the finality or direction one might expect. (3 / 5)
Final Thoughts on Season 2
In 2021, Evil earned nominations for 9 awards, which likely includes some recognition for this season. In 2022, Evil’s Katja Herbers won Best Acting in an Underrated Drama Series from the Pena de Prata, the show and cast earning an additional 26 nominations.
Season 2 shows growing pains, perhaps related to the behind-the-scenes renewal and transfer. Regardless, there are excessively high moments and moderate lows. The biggest letdown comes from how season 1’s focus gets shelved. However, those good moments keep the show continuously engaging.
(4 / 5)
