Review: 1977’s “Snowbeast” is (basically) Live-Action SkiFree
Hey people, I’m back from taking a break and enjoying my Pride. But here I am, back in the saddle and ready to rattle!
So, for this month, I am going to feast my eyes on the fast and the furry-ous. That’s right, for the month of July 2021, I am digging into the cryptid well and featuring everyone’s favorite furry cryptid – Bigfoot.
Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Abominable Snowman, etc. Whatever he/she/they would like to be called, I am going to embrace their stinky, hairy selves.
And I’m starting off with the made-for-TV movie, Snowbeast (1977).
The Plot:
A skiing paradise is getting ready for the winter festivities, The Snow Festival! The resort is run by a grandmother/grandson duo, Carrie and Tony (70’s Bill Hader-wannabe), who are making sure everything goes according to plan and on schedule.
Arriving on the scene is also one time Olympian and long-time friend of Tony’s, Gar (70’s Gordan Ramsey-doppelganger, see below) and his wife, Ellen (poor man’s Mia Farrow).
Everything seems to be in place except for the mysterious random attacks on the skiers and the high tensions between Tony, Gar and Ellen as they dive into their past…and consider what might have been…
Thoughts:
I have a strange affinity for 70’s skiing and disaster movies.I don’t know why or how, but I do and I’ve learned to accept it. Maybe it’s just bell-bottoms in the snow. Maybe the Farrah Fawcett hair trapped under clunky, gross hats. I don’t know…But I eat it up like Bigfoot eats up tourists.
So, that is to say that I really enjoyed this movie.
It’s basically a mash up of just two movies. Jaws and Avalanche (the Rock Hudson/Mia Farrow movie). There are several elements pulled from both and as boring as that can be…I also found it shyly delightful.
The monster doesn’t show his face often, but it’s surprisingly often by day. And it’s just a basic white Sasquatch costume…it’s fine. They tried their best. But to be honest, Bigfoot didn’t play a huge role, so if you’re really looking for some furry action (no comment or judgement), you might want to look elsewhere.
I did love the extras and was sometimes a little worried for them, especially the children in the high school. This was the 70’s and a low-budget movie…are we sure they survived it? They were shoved around pretty good. You kids be careful!
Surprisingly, there really wasn’t much dramatic tension between the people in the “love triangle” (if I can even call it that). There was one time Gar caught Tony kissing Ellen and it was mostly played as, “Hey…so what was up with that?”
In fact, a few scenes later and these two dudes are alone in a steamy pool together, talking about a Sasquatch in their midst and complimenting each other on their skills.
Which, again, I’m absolutely fine with.
Brain Roll Juice:
Honestly, I mean…There’s not much. But….But. You know I’m going to write something.
But as I briefly mentioned, I was concerned with a few of the extras who I believe were children. Like, in one scene, they are jostled in every direction and one in the back seems to fall pretty hard. And I would hate anyone to be hurt in the name of Snowbeast, especially a child.
And while these were extras, the use of child actors has had a harried past.
In the paper, “Children in the Entertainment Industry: Are they Being Protected – An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches” by Robert A. Martis, Martis puts into perspective the lax laws surrounding child actors, especially before the tragic events of The Twilight Zone movie, in which Actor Vic Morrow and two child actors were killed on set.
In his paper, he shows that many laws regarding childhood actors could vary state-to-state in the United States and usually fell onto the parent(s) of the minor. But this wasn’t always in their best interest. For example, in 1983, Brooke Shields, “sought to disaffirm a prior unrestricted consent executed on her behalf by her mother and to enjoin photographer Garry Gross from using photos taken of her when she was ten years old, some of which were taken when plaintiff was posed nude in a bathtub.”
However, because her mother gave prior “unrestricted” consent, Brooke Shields didn’t have a legal leg to stand on and the photographer could do basically anything he wanted with her nude bathtub pictures from when she was ten years old.
Which puts a few things into perspective when watching child actors of days past.
Bottomline:
A dramatic live-action movie of SkiFree – what’s not to love? Oh, yeah…let’s help those kids up.
(3 / 5)
Citation: Robert A. Martis, Children in the Entertainment Industry: Are they Being Protected – An Analysis of the California and New York Approaches, 8 Loy. L.A. Ent. L. Rev. 25 (1988). Available at: https://digitalcommons.lmu.edu/elr/vol8/iss1/2
Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.
The story
We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.
One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.
Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.
We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.
The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.
She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.
Or in her town.
Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.
Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.
Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.
It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.
What worked
The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.
Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.
Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.
Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season.
(4 / 5)
Launching with worldwide excitement, Fallout is based on the extremely popular game series of the same name. Fans of the series have waited with anticipation and trepidation to see if the Prime series would live up to the game.
Having now watched the first episode I can say that, so far, it’s successful.
The story
Our story begins with a children’s birthday party. A performer is there with his daughter, giving horse rides and taking pictures with the kids.
As much as the adults try to focus on the party and the kids, it’s impossible to ignore the looming threat of war that’s on everyone’s mind.
Of course, it’s during this party that war comes, and the bombs drop.
We then cut to after the war and into one of the vaults established to protect humankind and the American Way. For future reference, this is Vault 33. We meet Lucy, our first main character, who’s petitioning to be married to a man from Vault 32 to ensure DNA diversity.
On the wedding night, though, Lucy and the rest of Vault 33 are met with a horrible surprise. The group they let in is not in fact from Vault 32, but is instead a team of raiders from the surface. The raiders kill a lot of the vault dwellers and kidnap Lucy’s father.
We are then introduced to our second main character, Maximus. He is in training to become a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. And, well, he’s not doing great.
Things get worse when his best friend Dane becomes a squire before him. But when Dane is hurt, Maximus gets their spot.
We then go back to Lucy, who has decided to leave the vault and find her dad. Of course, the council of her vault doesn’t want her to go. So she is aided by her brother Norm and cousin Chet in a wild escape.
What worked
The first thing that deserves attention is the exceptional character work. Our three main characters are fleshed out and relatable right away. We feel sympathetic for The Ghoul before he’s even introduced as such. We love Lucy’s nativity and selflessness. And we love Maximus for his honesty and passion for his cause.
While these characters are their own people, they also exhibit the three responses we might expect to see in a post-apocalyptic world. We have the hopeful optimist who doesn’t understand how bad things are. We have the aspiring hero who wants to make the world better by force. And we have the self-serving individual who’s given up on the rest of humanity and is only focused on surviving.
Another thing I enjoyed about this episode was the balance of humor and gore. Because there was certainly enough blood and guts for even the most hardcore horror lover. We had a violent sabotage, a brawl with raiders, and even several nuclear bombs.
But there were a lot of funny moments as well. Usually from Lucy. Her overall goodwill and fearless gumption are absolutely hilarious, especially given the horrors she’s facing. It never ceases to amuse me.
Both of these aspects are done perfectly. The jokes land and the bloody scenes pull no punches. It was delightful.
All in all, this was an exciting start to a much-anticipated series. Here’s hoping they’re able to stick the landing.
For more tv shows based on video games, check out my review of Witcher.
(4 / 5)
Episode seven of American Horror Story Delicate was a classic AHS flashback episode. If you were excited to see what Preecher had to say to Anna at the end of the last episode, I’m sorry to say that you will not get that satisfaction. However, we did learn all sorts of other fascinating things about the strange coven hunting Anna. And, we learned all sorts of things we didn’t know about Dex’s first wife, Adeline.
The story
We begin our story with a woman giving birth alone in a barn. When it becomes clear that she’s not going to be able to deliver vaginally, she pulls out a knife and cuts her stomach open to pull out her children.
For whatever reason, this is when the coven of witches decides to make themselves known.
We then cut to 2013, when Dex was still married to Adeline. In true Dex fashion, he’s surprised her with a puppy.
While that sounds great in theory, dogs are something a couple should talk about, not gift each other with as a surprise. An adult would know that. A trust fund boy like Dex does not.
Adeline owns a vegan restaurant called Ave Hestia. Love that name. She seems to be living a great life. She has a career she’s passionate about, friends who love her, and a husband she seems kind of fond of.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t want a puppy. She already had one.
Of course, things aren’t as good as they appear. We soon find out that Adeline was one of those babies we saw at the start of the episode. The other baby was Sonia, the painter.
And yes, both of these characters are played by Annabelle Dexter-Jones.
Adeline has stepped away from their family, and whatever dark things they do. But the family isn’t happy with her decision. And if she isn’t going to come back willingly, they’re going to make her.
What worked
To start with, I loved the character, Adeline. She is fierce, she is fearless, and relentless. I feel like this would have been a far different story if Adeline had been our main character. It was astounding to see her interact with the same people Anna has, and get a completely different response. It’s clear now, how much everyone around Anna resents her for simply not being Adeline.
I also appreciated that there was just a shocking amount of blood in this episode. From the start when Adeline and Sonia are born, to the climactic end of Adeline, this episode is just drenched in blood.
Finally, I’m fascinated by the changes in this season from the book it’s based on. Because absolutely none of this was in the book. Compared to this, the book is heartwarming.
The book is kind of heartwarming even without the comparison.
But I love the fact that, even with just two episodes left in the season, I have no idea what’s going to happen. I do not know what Anna is carrying. I do not know if she’s going to survive this. I do not know what these people want with her.
But I can’t wait to find out.
What didn’t work
All that being said, it is a bit frustrating to have no forward momentum in this episode. This was all backstory, and it felt like there wasn’t enough backstory to fill a full forty minutes. Because of that, it dragged. There were a lot of scenes that just didn’t need to be as long as they were. It felt like they could have cut that down considerably, and had some time to check in with our main characters at either the start or the end of the episode.
There are only two episodes left in the season, and I can honestly say I have no idea what’s going to happen. But so far the story has been dark, bloody, and provocative. So I hope they can manage to end it on a high note.
(4 / 5)
If you’re a fan of my work, please check out my latest story, Nova, on Paper Beats World. New chapters launch every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
