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I think that one of the reasons that people find the zombie genre is so popular is because it’s so relatable. In every point of history, there has been a very legitimate fear of infection, and of becoming part of a huge mass of the unidentified/unnamed/unclaimed waste left in its aftermath. It’s a terrifying thought to have to watch your body rot and decay into something inhuman before your own eyed.  Just as there’s a complex horror of being swallowed into an unmarked mass grave, full of other rotting husks of unknown strangers.

And of course, the more bureaucratic nightmare of quarantine – the loss of control over one’s freedom, autonomy and body. The isolation of being a number in a system, a statistic to be glossed over in news reports, or worse, totally neglected by the system built to serve and protect you as a citizen.

At the time of this review, the world is rocked by the Corona virus. Clips of videos and pictures on the internet show people being removed in hazmat protection, portions of cities blocked off for quarantine, and countless people reacting to fake or real bouts of public sickness. Borders have been closed. PPE has been sold out completely online. 

Before that was Ebola, H1N1, SARS, Bird Flu, Hantavirus, The Spanish Flu, Tuberculosis, Rabies, Leprosy, The Black Death… 

And, something more akin to this movie – the HIV/AIDS epidemic. But before we get into all that…

The Plot:

Maggie, played by Abigail Breslin, has just been given a death sentence – she’s been bitten by an infected person and is now positive for a disease that’s been ravaging the entire US. After trying to run away, she is picked up by her father and taken back to their house in the quiet countryside to await her fate. She’s given only a few weeks to spend with her family before being forced to suffer her final days isolated in quarantine. 

During her time at home, she must come to accept her mother’s past death, learn to forgive, and face her mortality while losing her agency and body in the process as she becomes sicker. She experiences the fear and ignorance of even her closest loved ones as she becomes less and less of Maggie and more of something else entirely…

The non-spoiler reveal:

There’s no way around this: Arnold Schwarzenegger plays her dad. 

Yeah.

It’s…unfortunate and, frankly, jarring to see older Arnold play a Midwestern farmer and father to a young twenty-something (and father to even younger children). And it’s not to say that he doesn’t try in this film, because he does.

And he does a good job at acting, but what probably drew a lot of people to watch this movie (me included) was what ended up hurting it – it’s an Arnold Schwarzenegger zombie movie at the end of the day. No matter how it’s packaged, that’s what’s going to stick in people’s minds and when this slow-burn drama starts unfolding, it’s…well…

(snob glasses affixed) In “Genre And The Invention Of The Writer”, especially when examining Foucault’s “author-function”, Anis S. Bawarshi said:

“The author-function does not refer to the ‘real’ writer, the individual with the proper name who precedes and exists independently of the work. Instead, it refers to the author’s name, which, in addition to being a proper name, is also a literary name, a name that exists only in relation to the work associated with it. The author-function, then, endows a work with a certain cultural status and value. At the same time, the author-function also endows the idea of ‘author’ with a certain cultural status and value.”

https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt46nxp6.5

“The author-function delimits what works we recognize as valuable and how we interpret them at the same time as it accords the status of author to certain writers”

https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt46nxp6.5

I know, you’re thinking, ‘But Brannyk, doesn’t that work in favor of the movie? The reason that we’re talking about the movie right now is because of Arnold “Put That Cookie Down” Schwarzenegger? And also, what happened with the HIV/AIDS talk?

We’ll get to HIV/AIDS in a minute. First, yes, Arnold and Abigail Breslin’s (but we know it’s Arnold) capital is what drew people in. In fact, that reliance on his capital was incredibly faulty direction that the marketing took – relying on (and exaggerating) the scarce action scenes of the movie. They even went as far as to hype the movie with the most ridiculous tagline: “Don’t Get Bitten” as a way to sell Action-Arnold, and not Midwestern old-dad Arnold.

So beautifully dumb

It’s no wonder that, while it fared well with critics, it bombed hard, not even making back its budget (which probably mostly went to the salaries for the actors, as there was limited effects and locations).

And it’s a shame because “Maggie” is a fresh take on an old trope. And so, patient reader, we get to HIV/AIDS.

Just put it on the back of the toilet with the rest.

Brain Roll Juice:

“Maggie” is not the total chaos and calamity of most zombie outbreak movies. It’s an epidemic, yes, but as we see government-issued brochures given to Maggie, as we hear NPR news reports, and boring, routine doctor visits – this is not a collapsing society situation. Yet, there’s fear and prejudice against those infected. There’s ignorance. Some of it is rational – they are living in the country, where everyone knows everyone and resources are reserved for the larger cities. Maggie is seen as a victim, a carrier, a ticking time-bomb, a troublemaker, and an innocent child.

During her own time of accepting her virus and fate, friends and loved ones try understand how this change will affect them – some say goodbye, some turn away, and some give into prejudice and ignorance.

Throughout the movie (whether intentional or not) the interactions with the community, the government’s awkward involvements, and the sickness itself (not the cannibalistic part, though, duh) is reminiscent of the HIV/AIDS epidemic of the 80’s-90’s. Maggie as a “carrier” of a deadly and mysteriously disease that is clumsily handled by government officials and little understood by the general public pulls a lot from history. We see Maggie losing agency, little by little, with her choices and her own body as she is slowly succumbing to the virus. We see more government intervention by way of law enforcement and medical staff, even when trying to help her. We see her own friends misunderstand her and the community at the brink of hysteria.

Just cross out AIDS and add zombie virus

In fact, when questioned about the school re-opening and asked whether he would send his child to school with a child with the disease, the mayor of the town had this to say,

“I’m glad I’m not faced with that problem today, and I can well understand the plight of the parents and how they feel about it. I also have compassion, as I think we all do, for the child that has this and doesn’t know and can’t have it explained to him why somehow he is now an outcast and can no longer associate with his playmates and schoolmates. On the other hand, I can understand the problem of the parents. It is true that some medical sources had said that this cannot be communicated in any way other than the ones we already know and which would not involve a child being in the school. And yet medicine has not come forth unequivocally and said, ‘This we know for a fact, that it is safe.’ And until they do, I think we just have to do the best we can with this problem. I can understand both sides of it.”

Just kidding. That was Reagan in ’85. A full two years before forming the President’s Commission on the HIV Epidemic in ’87. And that was after AIDS was named in ’82 and HIV identified in ’82.

Any who, what I’m getting at is that there are similarities that make this a familiar ride in an old trope that I found refreshing, surprisingly rewarding and genuine. While I hope this nod was deliberate, the zombie virus itself pays homage to very real and very deadly diseases in our world as I stated before and while the scary zombie move is fun, this was a good stroll into what other facets the zombie genre could tell. Familiar stories. Heartbreaking stories. Vulnerable stories of communities trying to recover and survive; families learning how to deal with loss and say goodbye; and victims finding agency (in small or big ways) within their suffering and their final moments.

Too much capital – pull back!!!

Bottom-line:

A slow drama with Arnold Schwarzenegger and zombies. If you feel like you’re up to that, give it a go.

3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason. Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.

Movies n TV

Wheel of Time Returns With A Bang

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Wheel of Time is back for season three. There are mixed feelings regarding this. Last season, there were some serious pacing issues. And some serious sticking to the book’s storyline issues. But we’re two seasons in, and we don’t give up so easily. So let’s dive into episode one, To Race the Shadow.

By the way, I highly recommend watching this episode with the subtitles on. You’ll see why.

The story

We begin this episode with Liandrin facing a trial of sorts for her rampant betrayal. She does her best to gaslight her Aes Sedai sisters into thinking that Siuan Sanche is the real traitor.

When that doesn’t work, she reveals how many Black Aes Sedai have actually infiltrated the tower.

Spoiler, it’s a lot.

In the aftermath, our whole team gathers to drink and enjoy one night of relaxation before they head out to the Tear to form an army for Rand. All is going well until they’re attacked by myriad creatures and a sentient axe.

What worked

This episode was long. It had a run time of an hour and eleven minutes. And a lot of that run time was spent in heavy dialog scenes.

Fortunately, these were well-done scenes.

If you’re going to have a lot of talking scenes, there are good ways and bad ways to do it. Last season, we saw lots of examples of the bad way to do it. But this episode did it well. For one thing, other things were going on while conversations were taking place. The characters are drinking, playing games, walking through an interesting city. And the scenes themselves didn’t stretch out. They weren’t repetitive. We heard what the character had to say, then we moved on.

It was also nice that the point of these scenes wasn’t just info dumps. We had character development. We had romantic interactions. We had plot development and foreshadowing.

Overall, this episode felt like what it was. A moment of calm before a storm.

Taking a step back, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fight scene at the start of the episode. Because it was epic.

The magic looked amazing. The martial arts that went along with it looked fantastic. The costumes were beautiful. It was just incredibly fun to watch.

More than that, it was emotional. We lost some characters in that fight that were important. And it was clearly emotionally shattering for many of our characters, who found themselves betrayed by people they trusted.

So many of them.

It was a great way to open the season.

What didn’t work

Despite that, this episode wasn’t without its flaws.

First off, there were a lot of dialog scenes. And they were good scenes, as I’ve already discussed. But it was one after another after another. And when your episode is, again, an hour and eleven minutes, it’s maybe a little much to have so much chit-chat. Couldn’t some of these conversations, important as they were, have been moved to maybe another episode?

Finally, I want to talk about Egwene’s travel through the arches.

Still from Wheel of Time season three, episode one.

I feel like maybe there were some deleted scenes here. Because there must have been more to that visit than what we saw, right?

We could have seen Egwene battle Rand. That would have been badass and emotionally devastating. We could have seen her with a quiet life with Rand back home at the Two Rivers. We could have seen anything except for the quick clip of Rand in a bloody river, followed by Egwene being shoved back out in a bloody shift.

No products found.

Bad job. But at least it wasn’t an extended scene of Moiraine collecting bathwater, and then taking a bath while looking sad. If we’d started this season with another scene like that, it might have broken my brain.

Amazon dropped the first three episodes at once. So we’ll be back soon to talk about episode two. See you then.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Entertaining as hell: Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Review

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Early 2000s is a special era for the industry. It accepts the cheesiness and corniness of movie making, in turn producing some gems in their own right. Eight Legged Freaks starring David Arquette and young Scarlet Johanson is a horror comedy about giant spiders who overtake a small town. As crazy as that premise sounds, the movie surprisingly has a ton of heart and is super entertaining. Let’s review, shall we? 

Plot

We start Eight Legged Freaks with a shot of toxic waste spilling into the water supply of Joshua, a spider farm owner. He is friends with Mike, one of our protagonists, who is a science geek and a spider enthusiast. Mike notices something quite right upon visiting Joshua, but no one takes him seriously. We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Mike’s mother Samantha, the town sheriff, is too busy chasing Ashley, his sister, who is dating the town mayor’s son Bret (something Samantha does not approve of). We also have Chris, who returns to the town to save his father’s legacy in the town mines. He has opposition from Wade, Bret’s father, who wants to use the mines for his business ventures. Lots of drama going on that will only get juicier once the spiders get loose. 

The creepy crawlies quickly dispose of Joshua and make their grand appearance after Ashley rejects Bret’s advances, abandoning him in the middle of a desert. A glorious chase sequence ensues as the spiders make their way towards the town, wreaking havoc on its residents. In a true horror fashion (which the movie acknowledges), it takes some convincing from Mike and then from Samantha for the town to take the threat seriously. The tongue-in-cheek style of narrative adds the comedy aspect to a movie that would otherwise burn out fairly quickly. 

The remaining characters hide out in a shopping mall as it’s the only somewhat sturdy building in the area. This doesn’t last long as the spiders break in, forcing them to run through the mines. Their resources to fight the creepy crawlies off are limited as the methane gas doesn’t allow them to use firearms. Such conditions require resourceful thinking from Chris, who uses perfume to fend off the leader of the spider group and save himself during the climax of the movie. 

Character dynamics are not forgotten once the action kicks in. We have Chris confessing his long-term feelings for Samantha which she knew all along, which provided some comedic relief. Bret also reunites with Ashley and apologises for being an asshole. Mike finally gets the appreciation he deserves as his knowledge saves the townsfolk more than once during the whole ordeal. 

We end the movie with the town’s radio show person telling the story as an urban legend during his segment. This brings it into question – how much of it happened the way he said it did? We can only guess… 

Overall thoughts

Eight Legged Freaks is a fun creature feature with some self-aware commentary on genre tropes that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The acting is good, the pacing fitting and the characters are likeable enough for you to want them to make it through. Definitely a must watch, if you don’t suffer from arachnophobia, that is. 

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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Eight Legged Freaks [Blu-ray] [DVD]
  • What do you get when you cross toxic waste with a bunch of exotic spiders? Eaten! The townies of Prosperity, Arizona will all become a screaming smorgasbord if mutated arachnids as big as SUVs have their way in this comedy/horror crowd pleaser whose creators include the producers of Independence Day and Godzilla
  • Spiders that leap like gazelles, web-spitting spiders, spiders that suck your insides out as if through a straw—they’re all among the behemoths conjured up by an inventive effects team
  • David Arquette (Scream) leads the two-legged stars, mobilizing the citizenry in a last-ditch fight to survive

Last update on 2025-03-10 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

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Daredevil: Born Again Episode 1 Recap & Review – A Cautious Stumble into Hell’s Kitchen

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Marvel’s favorite one-man wrecking crew is back, but let’s be real—this isn’t just a Daredevil reboot, it’s a goddamn resurrection. The Netflix show was peak Marvel TV, a brutal, blood-soaked opera of fists and Catholic guilt. And now? Now we see if the Mouse has the stomach for it.


Back at Josie’s – A Familiar Start, No Training Wheels

We open in Josie’s Bar, and thank God for that. None of that “Where has Matt been?” slow-burn nonsense—just straight into the good stuff. It’s him, Foggy, and Jessica..err..Karen, knocking back drinks in the same dive we’ve come to love.

Marvel’s Daredevil Seasons 1 & 2 [Blu-ray] Complete Netflix Series
  • UK DVD Region 2 by Erectogen Idealistic lawyer Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox), along with his long-time friend Foggy Nelson (Elden Henson), uses his newly established firm to tackle the rising levels of criminal activity in New York City
  • By night however, Murdock – who was blinded by a chemical spill as a young boy – uses his heightened senses to fight crime on the streets as vigilante Daredevil
  • With the influence of underworld kingpin Wilson Fisk (Vincent D’Onofrio) continuing to grow, Murdock faces a fight on two fronts to keep the city safe

Last update on 2025-03-09 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

This is Daredevil as it should be: dark, dirty, and two drinks away from a bar fight. No need for a reintroduction, no awkward exposition dumps—just throw us in and let us swim.

Personal Take: This was the right way to start. No fluff, just boom, back in Hell’s Kitchen. That down-to-earth, street-level grime we loved is still here. But then—


Bullseye’s Ambush – AKA Who the Hell is This Guy?!

Enter Bullseye—except if you don’t already know him, you wouldn’t even know it’s him. In fact, ol’ Jimbo had to Google Reverse Image with ‘who the hell is this guy?’ Maybe I missed the ‘last season recap’ button.

One second, Foggy’s making lawyer jokes. The next? He’s got a bullet where his personality used to be.

And here’s the problem: If you never watched Daredevil Season 3 which was what? 30 years ago? Or kept up with Marvel’s deep cuts, this fight has zero emotional weight. It’s just some guy attacking some other guy, and a character we liked gets smoked in the process. I honestly didn’t know who the guy was, so I thought it was just some schmuck low level dude. After googling it…I have a VAGUE recollection of who he was.

Personal Take: This should’ve been a gut punch, but it lands like a lukewarm slap. If you know Bullseye, it’s huge. If you don’t? It’s just another action scene with no setup. Also, this dude has more knives than a goddamn Hibachi chef. Where is he even keeping them all?


The Rooftop Fight – Matt, My Guy, What Are You Doing?!

Now, the fight? Brutal. Perfect. This is what we came for. Matt vs. Bullseye, rooftops, fists flying, bodies slamming into brick walls—it’s exactly the kind of fight that made the original series legendary.

But then… Matt takes off his helmet. Maybe the 3897239428374237842397432 knives sticking out of Matt made him a bit woozie. But wouldn’t he keep that on? I mean not like there’s a copy sneaking up on a guy who can hear a heartbeat of a poodle farting 300 miles away.

What in the name of blind Catholic guilt is happening here?! He just lets a cop sneak up on him? This is Daredevil, the guy who can hear a heartbeat through a concrete wall, and he doesn’t notice an entire cop creeping up behind him?

Meanwhile, Bullseye? Still pulling knives out of nowhere like he’s a goddamn magician.

Personal Take: The fight’s phenomenal, but Matt taking his helmet off is some straight-up horror movie logic. Dude, why?!


Wilson Fisk for Mayor – Did We Miss a Memo?

The Kingpin is back—but wait. Didn’t he get shot in the face in Hawkeye? Like RIGHT in the fucking face!??

No scars. No limping. No “Hey, that bullet wound sure sucked” speech. Just fully intact Fisk, now running for mayor like he didn’t just eat a bullet last time we saw him.

Personal Take: This feels like they wanted you to watch Echo for answers, but who actually watched Echo? Also, Fisk running for mayor makes sense, but it’s been done before. If they’re going to keep him as the villain, they need to give him something new.

Daredevil Born Again S1E1 Review with Daredevil on screen looking very ethereal.

Matt’s New Love Interest – Who? Why?

Now, Heather Glenn enters the chat.

And listen—nobody cares. Karen worked because she wasn’t just a love interest. We saw her character grow, we invested in her. Heather? She’s just here because Karen isn’t.

Personal Take: It’s forced. No build-up, no intrigue—just, “Here’s a new love interest, enjoy.”


Final Verdict – A Strong Start, But Not Magic Yet

This episode does a lot right—
✔ The fights are still phenomenal.
✔ Charlie Cox is still the perfect Matt Murdock.
✔ Hell’s Kitchen still feels real.

But…
✘ Bullseye is a mystery if you didn’t watch Season 3 YESTERDAY or have a memory like a steel trap.
✘ Foggy’s death feels more like actor scheduling than good storytelling.
✘ Fisk just appears back like nothing happened, and that’s weird.

Final Rating: 4 out of 5 Cthulhus—Good. Not perfect. Cautiously optimistic.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

Your Turn – What Did You Think?

Did Born Again Episode 1 hit for you? Or did you have that same something-feels-off reaction? Drop your thoughts below, let’s talk Daredevil.

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