Episode two of Sabrina, season three left me with some real concerns about the future of this show. Or at least my ability to keep watching it.
In this episode, Sabrina finds out that she has to drag souls to Hell. When she meets the first Hellbound man, she finds that she doesn’t have the heart and sends him to Heaven instead. The second man, though, is monstrous. He’s kidnapped a child to lengthen his life, and if Sabrina drags him off to Hell the child will certainly die.
Alright, let’s start with the most glaring problem with this episode. Sabrina’s supposed to be so smart. She tricked Lucifer, saved the world, put Lilith on the throne of Hell. But then, she just dances blindly into the salt circle around Lucifer. People who saw five minutes of Supernatural in a waiting room knew that was a damned stupid idea! Shouldn’t she have known that?
But I can’t put all of the blame for this episode’s suckage on Sabrina. There’s also the repeated drawn-out musical numbers. Why the hell did we need the music? It’s bad, it’s jarring. It’s a little embarrassing to be caught watching, to be honest. And honestly, who are these numbers even for? I’m watching a show about demons and witches. I don’t think there’s a lot of crossover between the occult and the fans of Bring it On.
Now that I’ve taken a break from Sabrina, let’s get back to how she ruined this episode. Why is Sabrina always the worst, and yet everyone lets her get away with everything? She let a man go to Heaven, without knowing anything about the situation. The first soul she’s supposed to drag to Hell seems like a sweet enough old man. He wanted to be a great chess master. How sweet.
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Maybe he made that agreement with Lucifer, knowing that other people would suffer. Maybe other people died, or at least were cheated out of a title they earned. I mean, it’s a deal with the devil, those things are possible. We don’t know. But Sabrina just sends him off to Heaven, because she knows better than everybody.
She also leaves Lucifer in the basement of the school of Night, without warning her aunts. She put everyone in that school in danger, and she never even considered that.
But no one takes her to task for it, not really. Aunt Zelda tries to yell at her, for like a minute. And then she’s just right about everything, even as she puts innocent people at risk.
Finally, can we be a little more creative in prayers and overall worship than just inverting Christian dogma? The prayer to Lilith is the prayer of the Virgin Mary, just flipped backward. The students hold their hands upside down when they pray. It’s just lazy.
Fortunately, there are many good points to episode two. There had better be, to try to balance out all that lazy writing.
From the first two episodes, the show is gearing up for Lucifer and Blackwood to be good guys. Or at least allies. There seem to be two morals looming. There is a balance between Heaven, Hell and Earth, and it needs to be protected. And there’s always a worse enemy looming. I love this for a couple of reasons. For one thing, no one is pure good or pure bad. We all have good and bad in us, and I love seeing that in villains. For another, the balance of light and dark is always a deep and rich topic to discuss. I’m hoping we see more of that than teenagers dancing to old rap songs.
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I also continue to love everything Lilith does. She’s so snarky, so blunt, so smart. I loved that she is the only person trying to take Sabrina down a few pegs. My absolute favorite part of this episode was right after Sabrina sent the chess player to Heaven. She shows up out of nowhere, sighs, and says, “Why are you the worst?” I love it, that’s so perfect. Sabrina needs more of that.
I am going to keep watching, of course. I’m too invested to stop now. But if we could stop with the Scooby-Doo level musical numbers? Please, just stop.
(2.5 / 5)
Stop the music? XD Please note I love Bring It On and that cheerleader sequence was not up to snuff. (And the rhymes sucked) Sabrina only gets stupider from here I’m afraid. Though later on I recall someone telling her to get some self respect, so there’s that?
To a lot of fans, this is the film that killed the franchise. It says a lot that the next installment is yet another retcon. Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers attempts to explain Michael’s unrelenting evil, which lead to mixed opinions from longtime fans. There are two cuts of the film, theatrical vs producer’s. For a lot of people, the latter is the only one worth mentioning. Aiming to be as accurate as possible, I will be talking about the producer’s cut. Let’s begin!
Plot
We start Halloween VI with a six-year time jump from part five. Jamie is now barefoot and recently pregnant, running away from Michael as he wants her baby. While she manages to hide the little one away, Michael finally gets his hunger satiated by killing her. The moment is one of the most brutal ways in the franchise up until that point. Rest in peace, Jamie, you held your ground for as long as you could, the sequels were just too relentless.
The movie then cuts to a whole different scene going on. We have a new family living in the Myers house and their youngest child is hearing voices telling him to kill his loved ones. Tommy Lloyd is watching the family, played by none other than Paul Rudd in his first-ever theatrical role. Tommy still carries trauma from the events all those years ago when Laurie Strode was babysitting him. So when he finds Jamie’s baby, his part in the story becomes even more essential.
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Dr Loomis also stars in what was Donald Pleasance’s final role before his passing. He and Tommy try to stop Michael once and for all before the cycle can repeat itself. As it turns out, Michael is a victim of a druid cult which makes him want to kill his family members every Halloween. Thorn, the cult in question, thinks they can control Michael and make him do their bidding. This results in catastrophe and Michael goes berzerk and kills all the cult members. Once again, it’s one of the most gruesome montages for the franchise up until that point.
Tommy and Kara are left to face Michael on their own which they manage to do with some corrosive liquid and good luck. However, nothing stays dead in this franchise as it’s soon revealed Michael somehow escaped and this time Dr Loomis might not be so lucky…
Overall thoughts
I would say for me personally Halloween VI definitely ranks somewhere near the bottom. The whole point of Michael is that there is no rhyme or reason to his killings and this film tries to go against that. I am glad the mistake was rectified by the upcoming installment. There were still some good things about it, such as Paul Rudd’s acting that reveals some raw talent as far as I’m concerned, as well as some direction choices and musical score. However, I also think it absolutely deserves all the criticism that it gets.
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
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What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
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What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
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Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
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VoodooPriestess
April 7, 2020 at 8:38 pm
Stop the music? XD Please note I love Bring It On and that cheerleader sequence was not up to snuff. (And the rhymes sucked) Sabrina only gets stupider from here I’m afraid. Though later on I recall someone telling her to get some self respect, so there’s that?
Nicole C. Luttrell
April 7, 2020 at 8:41 pm
😂