The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: Darcy’s Helloween Special
The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs returned for its annual Halloween (Helloween) special on October 20th. Joe Bob reins himself in and hands the ropes to the ever-capable Darcy the Mail Girl for the special. Special guest Danhausen provides additional demonic entertainment. The Drive-In is available on AMC+ and Shudder.
This week on The Last Drive-In, Joe Bob and Darcy return to present their annual Halloween special. Joe Bob’s Helloween delivers a gooey and blood-soaked experience with Lamberto Bava’s Demons 2 (1986) and Damien Leone’s All Hallows’ Eve (2013). For those crying foul about showing a sequel without showing the first film, Joe Bob previously hosted Demons (1985) during the original comeback marathon.
Hello-ween
Helloween opens with a phone call reminiscent of Scream (1996). Instead of Darcy being stalked by a masked killer, Joe Bob (from his safe space: Cracker Barrel) pleads with her to take control of the Halloween special. He admits to the myriad of ways he’s messed up the special before to convince her. These include getting drunk & angry, getting drunk & sad, and trying “to sell Angel (1983) as a Halloween movie.” He doesn’t even try to blame the booze for that one.
Darcy agrees to take the helm and presides over the fully decked-out set in a stunning devil costume. The decorations do not conform to any era or style and turn the trailer park into a proper homestyle haunt. However, Joe Bob’s chair is not in its place and he begrudgingly stands to deliver the introduction to Demons 2.
Demons 2 tells the story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong. When a demonic TV broadcast transforms birthday girl Sally (Coralina Cataldi Tassoni) into a grotesque monster, newlyweds Hannah (Nancy Brilli) and George (David Knight) attempt to escape their apartment building full of corrupted souls to save themselves and their unborn child.
The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: 64 undead bodies, 1 squealing gremlin, penis grabbing demon, TV monitor ax destruction and potted plant fu. The movie earns a full four stars from Joe Bob. Considering the film is Darcy’s pick, Joe Bob must be thrilled to present a movie he likes.
Ahem, It’s Hell-O-Ween
Joe Bob does his best to launch into a lecture about the history of Demons 2 when a cloud of smoke interrupts his train of thought. Darcy’s additions of musical stings and smoke machines brings repeated levity into the episode. It makes me a little sad knowing they probably won’t continue into the regular season.
After being interrupted, he remarks, “Darcy, I have never felt less in control of this show.” It’s a prophetic statement as none other than professional wrestler (and demon) Danhausen soon invades Helloween . Using a clever movie tie-in, he shoves his way through a TV set and into our hearts.
Despite the unconventional entrance, Joe Bob does his best to interview Danhausen throughout the segments. Danhausen unfortunately does not have much to offer in terms of Demons 2. “It’s very good. Very Evil. Very interesting.” He does bring, however, a rare Thuringian liquor called “aromatic.” Thuringia is apparently Danhausen’s home… plane of existence?
Joe Bob and Darcy down multiple shots of this strange drink and Danhausen tells Joe Bob his thoughts on the depiction of demons in the film. He yells in frustration, “They are movie demons!” He believes they are much more like zombies than actual demons. When Joe Bob asks what a real demon looks like, Danhausen rightfully appears hurt.
Drinking shots of Danhausen’s drink changes Joe Bob into a more lethargic and less controlling version of himself. It’s a fun depiction of Joe Bob handing control of Helloween over to Darcy and being along for the ride. When the Joe Bobhausen transformation is complete, it’s time for the real one to go. After Joe Bob most heinously accuses him of fakery, Danhausen chooses to shimmy through the airwaves to a hot tub party in Aspen.
Pool Full of Liquor
When Joe Bob is able to power through the Thuringian liquor’s effects, he gives audiences the usual deep dive into the production and cast of Demons 2. Bava is a third-generation Italian filmmaker. He learned many of his skills from his father, the “Master of the Macabre,” Mario Bava. Previously working as an assistant director under Dario Argento for Inferno (1980) and Tenebrae (1982), the two reunited under Bava’s direction for Demons and Demons 2.
The film was a rushed production following the major, and slightly unexpected, success of Demons. It was filmed in seven months with a budget of $1.5 million and released unrated in the United States.
Many of the actors featured in the film, according to Joe Bob, are known for their roles within it. He says the characters George and Hannah, played by David Knight and Nancy Brilli respectively, are “just too boring for this world.” Bobby Rhodes as Hank is, however, “the real scene stealer,” of the film.
While Joe Bob and Darcy agree the screenwriters should have stuck with their original ending, they both enjoy the movie. It is a nonstop romp through a world that doesn’t make much sense, and it rips off at least five other movies, but it does it with pure 80’s style.
My rating for Demons 2:
(4.3 / 5)
Haggis, Neeps and Tatties
The first piece of mail for the night comes all the way from Russell in Newburgh, Scotland. Joe Bob doesn’t seem too surprised by the distance. He says, “We have more fans in Scotland than all the rest of the UK.” Russell writes in hopes of the UK gaining more access to The Drive-In. Joe Bob seems more focused instead on bringing the Scottish holiday of Hogmanay to The Drive-In.
International licensing issues are probably a nightmare, but Russell brings up a valid point in Shudder’s lack of The Last Drive-In: Just Joe Bob episodes. Just Joe Bob allows tenacious viewers to match up commentary breaks with a legal version of the presented film. Unfortunately, these are no longer being released with any regularity.
Cowboy Ken and Demon Barbie
Darcy has been making comments about getting Joe Bob into a Ken costume all night, and she makes good when it comes time for the second movie of the night. More specifically, and aptly, a Cowboy Ken costume. She joins him as Demon Barbie, unfortunately without the full face of paint we saw on Joe Bobhausen.
Seemingly freed from the effects of demon liquor, Joe Bob launches fully into an educational rant on the history of Samhain and poppers. No, not those poppers. I know, Darcy was disappointed too. Dumping a pumpkins worth of toys onto the table, he challenges Darcy to a game. They argue about the rules as Joe Bob continues his lecture about Gaelic spirits and jump-scares.
When he picks up an eyeball shaped popper, Darcy remarks, “That’s some Art the Clown type shit.” This is the cue he needs to finally introduce the movie. All Hallows’ Eve is an anthology horror set fittingly on Halloween night. Babysitter Sarah (Katie Maguire) and her charges Tia (Sydney Freihofer) and Timmy (Cole Mathewson) watch a VHS tape found in Timmy’s candy bag and unknowingly invite terror into their lives.
If you’ve seen Terrifier or Terrifier 2, you’re familiar with Leone’s blood splattered style of filmmaking. This film is no exception. The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: 1 bloody mud monster, stomach slicing with bloody fetus, monster-face skeleton army, gratuitous rotten egg vandalism and upchuck fu. “Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.”
Barbie World
Joe Bob questions why he is wearing a Cowboy Ken costume because he feels Ken is the bad guy in the movie. Darcy corrects him and says Ken isn’t necessarily bad. He simply “represents the patriarchy,” she pauses before adding, “…perfect for you.” When Joe Bob feigns ignorance on what the patriarchy is, Darcy smartly tells him to “go read one of [his] books.”
This review isn’t the time nor the place for me to flex my degree in gender studies. Nor am I going to delve into the issue of misogyny within horror spaces. I do think it is important, however, to remind people that when you say things online – it isn’t only your intended target who reads your words.
Darcy has repeatedly stated she is confident in her position and knows her worth, but gender-coded insults towards her serve as a stark reminder that even spaces as inclusive as the horror community still have a ways to go.
‘Tis The Season
Despite Joe Bob’s hesitancy in his costume (don’t worry, you are Kenough), he is determined to give Darcy the Helloween she deserves. Producer Austin Jennings shoots down his idea of a trailer park bonfire with a quick, “Not on my set!” In response Joe Bob makes mention of the show’s new filming location by offering to burn down a The Walking Dead set for her. Unfortunately, none of this is in the budget.
Within the budget remains other great Samhain traditions, such as bobbing for apples and repeatedly mispronouncing Samhain. “It’s Halloween. We have to do annoying things.” He explains too many people have forgotten about the trick portion of the holiday. In perhaps his cruelest trick of the night, he offers Darcy candy corn that she can no longer eat. She puts out a plea for vegan candy corn, so if you know of any, let her know.
No Treats Here
Keeping the tradition of tricking people alive, although not the people, is Art the Clown. Joe Bob heaps praise on the first segment of All Hallows’ Eve, which was originally released as a short film. “If this was Damien Leone’s first movie, you can already see how talented he is.” Throughout the special, Joe Bob attempts to pathologize Art the Clown to explain his behavior.
This goes back to his feelings on Michael Myers from the AMC FearFest presentation of Halloween (1978). Sometimes evil is just evil, despite how little he likes that explanation. Art the Clown displays powers that are clearly otherworldly in nature, so it’s natural to assume his motivations cannot be explained by human motivations.
The second segment of the film was created specifically for All Hallows’ Eve, and Joe Bob describes it as “the part that drags in the middle.” Despite this, he loves the “goofy direction” it goes in. In my opinion, this segment does a better job of demonstrating Leone’s ability to build atmosphere and suspense than his special effect skills.
All Hallows’ Eve ends with the segment that set the Terrifier franchise in motion. Discussing whether or not Art the Clown can be considered a horror icon, Darcy says, “He’s a baby icon.” Joe Bob wonders why the film “doesn’t get more love from the hardcore fans.” He also praises the ingenuity Leone displays with twisting urban myths into full-on nightmares within this work.
If you’re currently on the fence about whether the Terrifier films are for you, All Hallows’ Eve makes for the perfect introduction to Art the Clown’s twisted world. My rating for this film:
(3.7 / 5)
Stay Sick and Disgusting
Adam from Tennessee writes in for the second mail call of the night. Interestingly (or horrifyingly) enough, Adam credits watching Herbert West’s Re-Animator (1985) during the original marathon for his goal of becoming a doctor. He also says The Last Drive-In embodies the acceptance and comfort he finds in horror. Speaking from experience, I can say the Mutant Family is the most inviting and inclusive community I’ve ever encountered.
The letter itself is quite lengthy, but it does include one crucial line, “Halloween III is sick.” Perpetually unable to stream the 1982 classic, Darcy instead has the dance party she’s been asking for all Helloween. Fart the Clown (yes, Fart) flatulates a beat on the mic and the set is overrun with costumed crew and they break it down to a “royalty-free, parody version” of the Silver Shamrock song.
Including strobing lights without a warning was certainly a choice, and not one I recommend they do again, but the party is a perfect 2AM fever-dream send-off for Helloween. My rating for this special:
(4.6 / 5)
To a lot of fans, this is the film that killed the franchise. It says a lot that the next installment is yet another retcon. Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers attempts to explain Michael’s unrelenting evil, which lead to mixed opinions from longtime fans. There are two cuts of the film, theatrical vs producer’s. For a lot of people, the latter is the only one worth mentioning. Aiming to be as accurate as possible, I will be talking about the producer’s cut. Let’s begin!
Plot
We start Halloween VI with a six-year time jump from part five. Jamie is now barefoot and recently pregnant, running away from Michael as he wants her baby. While she manages to hide the little one away, Michael finally gets his hunger satiated by killing her. The moment is one of the most brutal ways in the franchise up until that point. Rest in peace, Jamie, you held your ground for as long as you could, the sequels were just too relentless.
The movie then cuts to a whole different scene going on. We have a new family living in the Myers house and their youngest child is hearing voices telling him to kill his loved ones. Tommy Lloyd is watching the family, played by none other than Paul Rudd in his first-ever theatrical role. Tommy still carries trauma from the events all those years ago when Laurie Strode was babysitting him. So when he finds Jamie’s baby, his part in the story becomes even more essential.
Dr Loomis also stars in what was Donald Pleasance’s final role before his passing. He and Tommy try to stop Michael once and for all before the cycle can repeat itself. As it turns out, Michael is a victim of a druid cult which makes him want to kill his family members every Halloween. Thorn, the cult in question, thinks they can control Michael and make him do their bidding. This results in catastrophe and Michael goes berzerk and kills all the cult members. Once again, it’s one of the most gruesome montages for the franchise up until that point.
Tommy and Kara are left to face Michael on their own which they manage to do with some corrosive liquid and good luck. However, nothing stays dead in this franchise as it’s soon revealed Michael somehow escaped and this time Dr Loomis might not be so lucky…
Overall thoughts
I would say for me personally Halloween VI definitely ranks somewhere near the bottom. The whole point of Michael is that there is no rhyme or reason to his killings and this film tries to go against that. I am glad the mistake was rectified by the upcoming installment. There were still some good things about it, such as Paul Rudd’s acting that reveals some raw talent as far as I’m concerned, as well as some direction choices and musical score. However, I also think it absolutely deserves all the criticism that it gets.
(2.5 / 5)
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
(4 / 5)
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
(3.5 / 5)
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