LOS ANGELES, CA — As the summer of 2021 approaches, many people are making plans to hit the beach, host cookouts, and relax by the pool. However, some residents are planning to celebrate in a less traditional fashion. One local woman, who goes by the name Raven Nightshade, spoke to the media today. “We missed out last year, so in 2021 we’re making up for lost time. Welcome to Hot Ghoul Summer!”
The phrase “Hot Girl Summer,” created by rapper Megan Thee Stallion, has become wildly popular since the song debuted in 2019. However, local residents who embrace a gothic lifestyle have put their own spin on the trend. “Hot Ghoul Summer is for everyone,” Ms. Nightshade explained. “It’s completely inclusive. You don’t need to be pale, or wear black fishnets. You just need to feel it from the bottom of your cold, dead heart.”
Even goths can beat the heat
Summer has long been considered the most difficult time of year for goths, who often suffer in the sweltering heat. Goth attire typically involves layers of black, non-breathable fabrics that trap the sun’s rays, and goths of pale complexion are at risk of severe sunburn. Hot Ghoul Summer is a break from goth tradition, but after over a year of seclusion due to the pandemic, desire for social interaction has caused these dark souls to emerge from their air-conditioned catacombs. “We really encourage our fellow goths to break out those black lace parasols and bask in the sun this year,” Ms. Nightshade suggested. “Did you know they actually make SPF 100? Grab some of that and a goblet of lemonade, and hit the beach!”
Gazing at the moon under the cover of darkness offers a romantic date night opportunity.
Some fully vaccinated goths are also interested in getting back in the dating scene after the COVID-19 pandemic. “I saw this super cute goth girl on Tinder and asked her if she wanted to meet up,” said local resident and gothic enthusiast Lucifer Darkstalker. “She said yes, so I planned a picnic in the cemetery. We’re going to meet up at midnight, look at the moon, and contemplate our own mortality. I can’t wait. I really think she’s the one.”
Other ideas for Hot Ghoul Summer activities include exploring abandoned amusement parks and carnivals; riding on swings in deserted playgrounds at night; and looking at the stars while you ponder the fact that you and everyone you have ever loved will ultimately perish. When asked for further recommendations, Ms. Nightshade responded, “I can’t talk now. I’m doing hot ghoul shit.”