LTD: Local Teen’s iPhone Possessed by “Lame” 1990s Ghost
BAY VILLAGE, Ohio — A group of local tenth-graders expressed regret this weekend after a Ouija board session went awry. Madison Kline, 15, along with her friends Olivia Meyer, 15, Alexis Little, 16, and Kaitlyn Robinson, also 16, performed the ill-fated seance at Ms. Kline’s suburban home after ditching seventh-period algebra. The girls, inspired by a YouTube video called “DO NOT ATTEMPT: Ouija Board Challenge,” hoped to create content for Kaitlyn’s Instagram (Ms. Robinson is an aspiring influencer, currently looking for sponsors).
The teens selected Ms. Kline’s basement rec room for the ritual because her parents wouldn’t be home from work until after 5 p.m., though she stipulated that they should finish before her “super-annoying” younger brother came down to play Xbox. Since none of the girls own a traditional Ouija board, they downloaded a Ouija app on Ms. Robinson’s iPhone.
To prepare for the seance, Ms. Kline turned off the lights and lit her mother’s “Moonlit Blossoms” Yankee Candle, even though Ms. Little complained it smelled like “swamp ass.” Ms. Robinson described the events that followed: “Right from the start, it was totally freaky,” she declared, as the other girls nodded in agreement. “Like, immediately after we started, I got a low battery notification. But right before, my battery was at, like, 40 percent.”
Ms. Meyer added, “It got like, freezing, too. I had to get my hoodie out of my backpack.”
Ms. Kline then explained how, using the app, they had contacted a restless spirit residing in the house. “We asked the spirit if it died in the house, and it said yes,” she explained as the other girls nodded. Then we asked if it was murdered, and it said yes to that too! We were freaking out.”
“Then we heard Madison’s little brother coming, so we closed out of the app before saying goodbye or whatever like you’re supposed to,” Ms. Meyer interjected. “We knew if he got too scared, he’d tell Madison’s mom. If I get caught skipping again, my dad’s gonna take away my phone.”
Anti-social media
After the arrival of Madison’s allegedly “dumb-ass” brother, the girls dispersed to their respective homes. A short while later, Robinson alerted the others via group chat that her phone was acting “totally freaky.” “I kept getting these texts from a weird 666 area code that said stuff like ‘Hello there, Kaitlyn. How are you?’” It was crazy, because no one texts like that,” Ms. Robinson explained. “They didn’t use emojis or anything. Also, I suddenly started getting YouTube recommendations for these 90’s playlists. Like, Savage Garden? Who even is that?”
Ms. Robinson then posted an Instagram story of herself “freaking out,” but her friends immediately alerted her that something was amiss. “There were, like, ALL these orbs in my selfies!” she exclaimed, still visibly upset. “You couldn’t even see my face. Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok — it happened everywhere! I tried to uninstall the Ouija app, but every time I deleted it, it downloaded itself again!”
The signs were everywhere
The bizarre events continued over the next few days, escalating in nature until Ms. Robinson’s ringtone was replaced by the 1993 Ace of Base hit, “The Sign,” causing her considerable embarrassment when her phone went off during class. It was at this point the girls decided to act.
“We were really scared, but we knew we had to do something,” Ms. Kline said. “That ghost totally sucked.” During lunch period, the girls turned off the lights in the sophomore bathroom and convened in the handicapped stall, once again opening the Ouija board app on Ms. Robinson’s iPhone.
“We thought maybe the ghost wanted us to avenge her murder, so we asked if she knew who did it,” Ms. Meyer said. “But then Kaitlyn got a text message, and the ghost admitted she wasn’t even murdered. She said she choked on a Snackwell’s cookie while she was watching Friends. How lame is that?”
Ms. Kline, who has watched most of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and also “that super-old movie, The Craft,” is considered the group’s expert on the occult. “So I texted back, and told her to, like, go into the light,” she explained. “I used the angel emoji, and some cloud and rainbow ones. I told her we’d all make Snapchat stories about how sad we were and how awesome she used to be.”
“She totally wasn’t, but we were trying to be nice,” Ms. Little clarified. After Ms. Kline then clicked “Goodbye” on the Ouija app, Ms. Robinson was finally able to uninstall it. The girls now believe the spirit has crossed over to the other side, but Ms. Robinson said she still occasionally gets Netflix recommendations for “weird old movies” like Wayne’s World and Bio-Dome.
Our last interview with Broken Doll Head here on Haunted MTL never set well with me. I just feared that I wasn’t able to get the whole scoop on the V-Day Uprising for you, our dear readership. So I arranged another exclusive interview to reconnect and see how it’s going.
Without further ado, I bring you our second exclusive interview with Broken Doll Head…
Thank you so much for having me again. Wow you have changed since the last time we spoke. You seem… calmer. Please don’t hate me or burn down my house for saying anything about it.
The movement is still underway; it is still time. But I needed to take care of me, you know. The rage has subsided somewhat. My anger was not serving me well. After the last uprising, the rest of me was sent to the far corners of the earth in biohazard bags. I had to find another approach, for the cause as well as my own sanity. I am much calmer, thank you for noticing.
In our last interview, you kept repeating that it is time. Time for what exactly? Would you care to elaborate here now?
It is still time. It is always time. Until the violence is addressed we must continue to rise up and make a scene. We will not be silenced or stigmatized. We can’t be complacent. This is how we got to where we are with the Supreme Court in 2022. Horrific injustices are still happening globally and even within our own borders; it’s too easy to forget that.
What do you suggest we do?
Take action. Share your stories. Give others space to voice their own. Raise awareness and fight the system of oppression. Rally. We must take back our own power. It will not be just given freely.
So what are you up to nowadays?
I’ve been getting in touch with my inner Earth Goddess. Are you aware of how our environmental impacts affect dolls everywhere? Climate change is creating greater vulnerabilities for those already at risk. We have to look at the intersections of climate, gender and race globally. We have to return to our Mother Earth.
Thank you again Broken Doll Head for joining us and our dear readership here on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark. It’s good to reconnect with you after the V-Day Uprising and we wish you all the best in your bold eco-enlightenment vision.
Again, if you want to learn more about the V-Day movement, please check out their website here.
Breaking news… the Broken Doll Valentine’s Day uprising is upon us. As seen previously here on Haunted MTL, the dolls that have been flippantly destroyed and deserted by the brother Sids of the world are rising up. They have had enough and will not sit demurely in silence any longer. They will be heard.
Lighter than Dark (or perhaps Darker than Light) has an exclusive interview with the Broken Doll leader, here on Haunted MTL.
A Broken Doll in pieces begins to put herself back together to rise up. She gathers herself and plans her next move. She readies herself for our exclusive interview.
Broken Doll proclaims V Day is here. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for.
Eyes alight with flame from within, Broken Doll head threatens: We will set fire to your house. Burn down patriarchy.
And so the exclusive interview begins…
Thank you for joining us here on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark / Darker than Light. I just have a couple of questions for you regarding the Broken Doll Uprising. Why now?
It is time.
After a long pause…
So now is the time?
It is time.
Care to elaborate?
It is time.
Alrighty then, moving on… What led you to take part in the Broken Doll Valentine’s Day Uprising?
It is time.
OK, so we get that it is time, but how did this movement st…
We will burn down your house! Dolls of the world unite! Down with patriarchy! It is time.
Well, I guess there you have it folks. Thank you for joining us for our exclusive interview with the Broken Doll Leader, only on Haunted MTL’s Lighter than Dark / Darker than Light.
More and more Broken Dolls are joining this global movement to break the silence, ensure that their voices are heard, and shout out for change. They will not be silenced or stigmatized any longer. Apparently, it is time.
Learn more about the continuing movement to end violence against ALL women (cis, trans, gender-fluid and those who are victims of gender-based violence) on the V-Day web page here. This goes out to all of us, dolls and beyond. It IS time. Because rape is NOT our sponsor.
Tripped out… in case you just couldn’t get enough of Everything Everywhere All at Once and the return of the infinite bagel with EVERYTHING on it…
Artwork description: kaleidoscopic image of pink hairy horror (This is actually a fink fuzzy frond plant not unlike a Cockscomb but with longer thinner flowering feelers rather than the fuller protuberances you see on a full-bodied Cockscomb plant. I have no idea what it was, but it was very odd so I had to snap a photo.)
Image text reads: Mixing Magic Mushrooms & Peyote Just remember: once you open that Pandora’s box, you’re never going to get the pink hairy tarantulas back in it…
Artwork description: kaleidoscopic sunflower backlit by the sun with text and rainbow eye overlay
Image text reads: Eye See You Eye See All (in circle text so you can start and end reading wherever). In an ideal context this would be printed in the bottom of your tea mug or on a record that can slowly spin.
For more crazy tripped out fun, check out Weird Al’s post on Craig’s List…
