Welcome back, Killer Queens. It’s Sunday and it’s time to head back to The Murder House. 

This season, if I recall, gets complex. There’s a lot of spirits and stories in the Murder House. So, to help keep things straight, I’ve made this little ditty. Feel free to sing along. 

On the second day of murder house, we’ll be slaughtered by

Two nursing students

A pair of tragic blond twins

And a freak in a leather mask

This episode opens, as the first one did, with a flashback. See, the house used to be a home for nursing students. One dark night, a man came to the door, claiming to be hurt. Two students let him in, being the kind sort. He proceeds to drown one girl and stab the second over and over with a knife.

I think this goes without saying, but don’t ever let someone into your house. If someone does come asking for help, ask them to sit on the porch while you call the police for them. Unless you want some psycho to play whack-a-mole with your spine and a switchblade.

Back in the current time, Ben and Vivian are awakened by the security alarm. Ben runs downstairs to see what’s going on. But it’s just Addie in the basement. I mean, we can assume it’s not just Addie. But I imagine we’ll get to that soon. 

Now, Ben looks pretty good in that scene. But even those cut abs and Adonis lines can’t make up for the fact that he’s got two women pregnant right now. Oh, and that he’s an absolute moron who keeps treating a teenage patient who he caught in his daughter’s room.

Actually, that’s not the start of Ben’s stupidity. He’s continuing to see patients in his home, around his family. Including a pretty messed-up actress. We’ll get back to her later.

For now, let’s talk about Ben and that other woman he got pregnant. He’s going to Boston to be with her while she has an abortion. While he should have been honest with Vivian about what he was doing, I can’t say he shouldn’t have gone. Why should this woman have to deal with this all by herself?

That being said, his timing couldn’t have been worse. Because while he’s gone, some dumb ass serial killers who idolize the psycho who killed the nursing students in the flashback. 

Here we get to talk about one of the reasons I love this show so much. The characters aren’t stupid. When a woman with a familiar-looking head wound shows up on the front porch, Vivian tells her that she’s not coming in and that she’ll call the cops.

I mean, the killers still get in the house. But at least Viv didn’t let them in.

Even when Vivian and Violet are captured, they don’t give up. They’re going to go down fighting every second. 

Fortunately, since they’re outnumbered, Tate’s there to help. So is a poisoned cupcake that Constance brought over earlier for Violet. Which I feel like we need to talk about. Why is she trying to hurt this kid? She didn’t do anything to Constance. That we know of. 

Ben comes home just in time to get all the guilt dropped right on his lap. He was the one, after all, who let one of the attempted killers in. 

Violet and Vivian bonded over the whole incident, which is nice. Sometimes teenagers aren’t the absolute worst. 

And Vivian does exactly what I would have done. She tells Ben that they’re selling the house and moving. 

Well, she almost does what I would do. I’d never have set foot in the place again. Violet and I would have been sharing a studio until the house was sold. Let Ben chill with the ghosts. At least he can’t get a dead woman pregnant. 

That’s it for this episode, Killer Queens. See you on Tuesday for episode three, Murder House.