Be Our Guest

It’s our last trip to the Hotel Cortez, Killer Queens. Make sure you check your rooms one more time before you check out, we don’t want to leave anything behind. 

Liz and Iris have poured their hearts and souls, as well as millions of dollars, into updating the Hotel Cortez. And it is beautiful. There’s just one small problem, though.

Liz and Iris in American Horror Story Hotel Be Our Guest.

The ghosts keep killing the guests. 

To get the ghosts to stop, you know, murdering people, Liz and Iris set everyone down for a little meeting. And surprisingly, Mr. March is the first ghost to get on board with them. He wants the Hotel Cortez to be named a historical landmark, which can’t happen until 2026. And once he’s involved, most of the other ghosts fall in line.

All except Sally. She’s still in too much pain, and still way too into sharing that pain with others. Until that is, Liz introduces her to the amazing world of social media. With that, Sally finds millions of people to connect with. And she’s finally happy. 

Will, who was also interested in continuing the killing spree, really just wanted to get his business back up and running. He just couldn’t get past the hurdle of being dead. Fortunately Liz was able to help with that as well, becoming his business partner. She also got his son into a good boarding school.

Ah, but what about John? He wasn’t the hero, but I think we all still wanted to know what the end of his story was. And it did not disappoint. 

Liz Taylor and Mr. March in American Horror Story Hotel Be Our Guest.

John moved his family back to the Hotel Cortez. Liz sent Scarlett to the same school as Will’s son. And John set about providing for his vampire family. By, you know, killing people. He was finally shot down by police, just feet away from the hotel. So, the only night he can see them is Devil’s Night. 

Flash forward to 2022. Everything seems to be going well at the Hotel Cortez. The only problem is a medium, Billie Dean. We’ll recognize her from season one, of course. As an aside, Sarah Paulson is just a queen. 

She’s been telling everyone who will listen just how haunted the Hotel Cortez is. And Iris, for one, would like that to stop. So how do you get a psychic to stop talking about ghosts? You introduce her to a dinner party full of killer spirits who would just love to make her a permanent guest at the Hotel Cortez. 

Sadly our reservation is over now. It’s time to go home. Maybe even move into a new house. An old one, maybe, with lots of history. 

Have you ever heard the story of the Roanoke settlement? 

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

Thanks for reading American Horror Recap: Hotel, Be Our Guest. If you want to binge the season with me, you can do so on Hulu.

You can buy season five now on Amazon.


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