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In my Wyvern review I mentioned how much I wanted to see more dragon-themed horror movies, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to have stumbled across this film. You can also imagine how heartbroken I was to find that this film utterly blows.

The poster for the film Dragon Fury. A dragon breathes fire at two soldiers hiding behind a rock. In the background there are two more dragons and a city. "Dragon Fury" is written in gold text at the top.
The poster for the film Dragon Fury.

Some Praise?

Starting with compliments, or at least as close as I can get to compliments, the premise is great. It may not be the most original thing on Earth, but it’s a solid foundation for a dragon horror movie. However, the premise feels underutilized. The idea of sending an elite team out into the mountains to capture a creature that just happens to be a dragon sounds so cool, but it feels like that’s not really what happens in this movie. The team makes one excursion into the mountains, then most of the movie they’re basically hanging around a house waiting to die. They end up back in the mountains towards the end, but by that point you can’t really enjoy it, because it just serves as a bitter reminder of how cool this movie could have been.

The setting is absolutely beautiful, every shot where they’re outdoors looks spectacular. Well, almost every shot. Sometimes, there’s a really terrible CGI dragon clogging up the frame. The gorgeous setting almost ends up working to the film’s detriment by making the CGI look that much worse by comparison.

A photograph from the film showing two characters walking outdoors. They are passing by a river in front of a mountain.
The Welsh countryside does an immense amount of heavy lifting in this film.
A photograph from the film. A road leads into the mountains. On the left side of the road is a white car and a woman lying on the ground. On the right is a CGI dragon.
The car looks more intimidating than the dragon.

Some Criticism

There are so many scenes in this film where people are just standing around and talking. It makes the movie feel so static and stagnant. It would’ve helped so much if the characters just moved around a little bit more. For instance, if certain characters had been walking and talking rather than walking, stopping to have a conversation, then walking again. Just keep walking! Move around the room a little. Do something, please. It’s not necessary in every scene, but there’s so little action in this film that still moments can’t really be appreciated.

The dialogue in this movie isn’t great either. There are bits that feel like obvious exposition dumping, bits that feel redundant, and almost all of it sounds stilted and wrong. There are multiple scenes where the main characters are interacting and I still feel like I know nothing about them. Are these people military, mercenaries, or what? Why is Libby so distrusting? Why would Nessa and/or Libby blame themselves for… wait, what happened to Lexy? And what’s up with Stuart and Nicolle? They seem close, did they know each other before the mission? Were they in on the plot twist?

Speaking of the plot twist, it’s bad. It could have worked if the rest of the movie was better, but as-is it’s just a very blunt, in-your-face reminder of how much nothing has happened in the film so far.

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And oh my goodness, these people are way too comfortable with radiation! Look, I was willing to buy into the whole potassium iodide thing when it was just the threat of potentially lingering nuclear radiation, but then they started touching radioactive objects with their bare hands, picking them up, taking them back to base. Occasionally the characters wear gloves, but otherwise there’s no protective equipment in sight, and in the few instances where characters try to ask “uh, this seems kinda dangerous?” someone else just responds with “just take your pills, it’s fine.”

I’m not an expert on radiation, by any means, but that just doesn’t seem right? So I tried to Google some stuff. According to the CDC, potassium iodide only protects your thyroid and not any other part of your body (like your skin) from radiation, and only protects you from radioactive iodine, and no other radioactive elements. In fact, if you take potassium iodide when radioactive iodide is not present it can actually hurt you.

A photograph from the film. Three characters stand around a radioactive dragon egg. Libby, played by Chelsea Greenwood. touches the egg with her bare hands. Stuart, played by Andrew Rolfe, is behind her and the only character visibly wearing gloves. To the right is Nicole, played by Chrissie Wunna.
Go ahead and grab the radioactive egg with your bare hands. I’m sure it’s fine.

Ultimately, you can say that this stuff doesn’t matter, suspension of disbelief, et cetera, but if your film is so unengaging that I’d rather pause it and take 10 minutes trying to figure out how the hell radiation works, that’s a problem.

Final Thoughts

This movie, unfortunately, sucks. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen but that’s not really saying much. I’m not mad at it, I’m just disappointed. It gets two out of five cthulhus. If you still want to watch this you can check it out on Amazon, but remember that we are an Amazon affiliate and if you make any purchases from the links provided we will get some $ back. 2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Smile 2: A Poor Rate Second.

“Break a leg out there.”

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Smile 2, a psychological supernatural horror, released in October 2024 just in time for Halloween, sees director Parker Finn (Smile, Laura Hasn’t Slept) return with a sequel starring Naomi Scott (Aladdin) as pop star and recovering addict Skye Riley. While Smile 2 boasts a talented cast, it ultimately falls short of its predecessor, offering a familiar storyline with minor variations and a predictable finale. The film attempts to introduce a new method to combat the parasitic ‘Smile Entity’, but this addition fails to elevate the sequel beyond a pale imitation of its chilling predecessor.

The Plot.

Smile 2 begins shortly after the end of the original; just six days after Rose Cotter’s death. During a short interlude scene, we watch as the now cursed Joel attempts to pass the Smile Entity on by killing one criminal in front of another. The plan backfires spectacularly, inadvertently passing the curse onto an innocent bystander named Lewis Fregoli.


The film then shifts gears, introducing Skye Riley, a singer and performer making a triumphant return to the spotlight with a comeback tour after a tumultuous past. During a candid interview on the Drew Barrymore Show, Skye opens up about her struggles with addiction and the devastating loss of her boyfriend in a car accident. Her sobriety journey, however, faces a severe setback when she seeks pain relief from her old high school friend, the unwitting Lewis Fregoli. In a chilling turn of events, Lewis takes his own life while Skye watches, passing the Smile Entity onto her.
Unaware of her new cursed existence Skye gets on with rehearsing for her tour, but she begins to notice that strange things are happening. People are smiling at her in an unnatural way and she becomes the target of anonymous attacks and aggressions. When text messages begin to arrive from an unknown number, Skye decides to get some answers.

Highlights.

Let’s not beat about the bush. I found Smile 2 difficult to finish and was struggling at about the hour-and-a-half mark to stay awake. That being said it’s worth watching because everyone needs to see the 3-minute scene of the ‘smilers’ chasing Skye through her apartment. This was possibly the creepiest thing I’ve seen on a screen.  The buildup, the synchronicity of the movement of the actors and their positioning, the camera work, and the lighting. I have rewatched it several times and it doesn’t get old. If you are only interested in watching this, fast forward to the 123-minute mark and get ready to be impressed.

Drawbacks.

Where do I start?

My primary concern with Smile 2 is its striking resemblance to its predecessor. The narrative follows a familiar pattern: an attractive woman fleeing a supernatural force, grappling with hallucinations, experiencing a mental health decline, and culminating in the revelation someone close to Skye was the Smiling Entity after all. This repetitive structure diminishes the film’s impact.

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While the introduction of a new method for shedding the entity initially offered a glimmer of hope this concept wasn’t fully realized. It just served to add names to the line of people that the entity has infected in the past.

Furthermore, the film’s pacing suffers from excessive focus on Skye’s musical career. Scenes showcasing her stage rehearsals and music videos, while intended to establish her identity as a performer, feel unnecessary and detract from the narrative momentum. Yes, we understand she’s a performer, you told us, you don’t need to prove it. These scenes appear to artificially inflate the film’s runtime, suggesting a lack of confidence in the core story.

The Final Take.

Ultimately, Smile 2 fails to expand upon the established lore of the franchise. The film’s conclusion feels contrived, with a blatant setup for a third installment. Hopefully, if a ‘Smile 3’ is inevitable, the creative team will bring fresh ideas and avoid simply retreading familiar ground.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

Both Cthulhu’s granted for that one scene.

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Movies n TV

Goosebumps, Stay Out Of The Basement Pt 2, could have just been one part

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We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.

Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.

The story

We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.

David Schwimmer in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.

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I sure would have liked to see more about that.

Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.

Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.

Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.

What worked

The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.

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The series is called Goosebumps, after all.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.

To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.

 Francesca Noel in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.

Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.

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I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.

Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.

Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.

I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.

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All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Thriller Nite, Poem by Jennifer Weigel Plus

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So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)

The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
 
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
 
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
 
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.

Robot Dance found subverted street art altered photography from Jennifer Weigel's Reversals series
Robot Dance from Jennifer Weigel’s Reversals series

So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.

For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.

Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.
Portrait of myself with dark makeup and crow skull headdress, backlit by the sun.

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