Review: Freaky
What happens when a shy teenage girl gets stabbed with an ancient ceremonial dagger by a middle-aged serial killer? Hijinks, of course!
Also intimidating a teenage boy into pissing himself. Also, ALSO making out with a different teenage boy. Also, ALSO, ALSO, your mom hitting on you.
Well, that’s a lot to unpack, so let’s get FREAKY!!!
The Plot:
Teenage Millie (Kathryn Newton) is a shy wallflower yet to blossom. When not writing poetry to hot-but-kind jocks or getting in trouble in shop class for not being assertive enough, she spends her time missing her deceased father and hanging out with her two BFFs (Celeste O’Connor and Misha Osherovich).
Ever unlucky, her drunken mother forgets to pick her up one night after the school game. Even worse, she becomes hunted by The Blissfield Butcher, a mysterious serial killer who looks a lot like a strung-out Vince Vaughn (Vince Vaughn).
In a flash, as the Butcher stabs her with an ancient dagger he swiped from another victim’s home, something magical happens. Ancient Aztec magic! She has switched bodies with her would-be killer! What a bummer.
Now she must convince her BFFs her true identity and switch back before it’s too late or she’ll be stuck forever looking like the guy who played a shitty Norman Bates. The stakes have never been higher…
Thoughts:
I was very excited to watch this. Like “paying $20 for a one-time rental” kind of excited. I adore Happy Death Day (also directed by Christopher Landon) and the premise itself is so deliciously fun that I couldn’t help but get excited to see this.
The visuals of Freaky are bright and poppy, and the cinematography was clear and easy to follow (some of these films get too shaky). The score was terrific (Bear McCreary). There was a lot of energy from the cast, and even Vince Vaughn seemed like he was having a good time (however, no one does “teenage girl” like Jack Black in Jumanji). The kills, while fewer than I expected, were enjoyable and bloody.
But that writing…and that ending…Yeah.
In Happy Death Day, what I enjoyed so much about the film is that it took something superficial and imbued it with meaning. Tree (main character) was a trope-y stereotypical sorority bitch. She was the typical girl to be slaughtered first in any slasher.
But as the story progressed, we began to see her true self, as she did as well. She grew. She changed. They spun the trope around and suddenly she was someone with depth and sincerity, and someone the audience then cared about. She wasn’t a superficial bitch, but a substantial heroine, and we got to slowly see that as the story was built.
Unfortunately, Freaky is the opposite. It took something substantial (body and gender issues) and made it superficial. Maybe this happened because it was a “fun” movie. Or maybe the star power lessened it. Or maybe it got lost in re-writes or by direction. Whatever the case, the impact was lacking. The end felt rushed and sloppy. The character of Millie…changed, I guess? But for a movie centered on a female narrative and what it means to have control and advocacy to one’s own body (literally), the message was muddled and fell flat.
Brain Roll Juice:
Okay, let’s unpack this quickly because I have a lot to say and so little time and energy to say it: the BFFs. Oof.
They came in two flavours – flamboyant but harmless (as in nothing the character said or did was substantial or challenging to the trope/norms) gay character, and supportive but basic (as in nothing the character said or did was challenging to the trope/norms) Black female.
The gay character (Joshua, played by fellow non-binary actor and activist Misha Osherovich) has the most cringey and shoe-horned closeted-jock-wants-the-openly-gay-kid subplot that very literally lasts one minute. The supporting Black character (Nyla, played by the underutilized Celeste O’Connor) gets to do a little more action-wise, but has the identity of “cheering up shy, but gorgeous white friend into believing in herself”.
And since these two characters are played up in the trailer, I’m going to call it out – sloppy writing. These are the standard BFFs we’ve seen in early 2000’s WB as the “diverse characters” card. It worked then, but it shouldn’t work now that it’s 20 years later and there’s little growth or movement.
I honestly was angry at the “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” LGBTQ jock subplot (if it can even be called a subplot) since it was a slap in the face as a outdated, gross, and lazy trope. C’mon, man! Everything is played so saccharine safe. No character steps out of their respected trope and I can only imagine that’s for the benefit of the mainstream audience they were hoping to bag.
And, sure, maybe I’m taking this a bit too much to heart. After all, it’s a silly billy horror-COMEDY about switching bodies. But, as it made almost three times the budget in the middle of a pandemic, it’s fair to say that it has an effect. What we create and consume is a reflection of our society, culture, expressions, and collective desires. If our current mainstream flow is at early 2000’s WB levels, maybe there’s still an issue of how to create meaningful and diverse characters.
I’m not saying you have to go hard with the message like the heavy-handed 2019’s Black Christmas, but there’s room for relatable and engaging characters in horror, even horror-COMEDY. As an example, even though it was more bitter satire and higher emotional stakes, Bex (Hari Nef) in Assassination Nation definitely was a clear and concise character while also being the LGBTQ BFF. You can have it both ways, it just takes some creative writing and understanding.
Bottomline:
It’s a fun and cute movie. You’re mom will probably like it. She’ll probably buy the soundtrack so she can listen to the remix of No Doubt’s “Just a Girl”. And that’s okay…
(3.5 / 5)
To a lot of fans, this is the film that killed the franchise. It says a lot that the next installment is yet another retcon. Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers attempts to explain Michael’s unrelenting evil, which lead to mixed opinions from longtime fans. There are two cuts of the film, theatrical vs producer’s. For a lot of people, the latter is the only one worth mentioning. Aiming to be as accurate as possible, I will be talking about the producer’s cut. Let’s begin!
Plot
We start Halloween VI with a six-year time jump from part five. Jamie is now barefoot and recently pregnant, running away from Michael as he wants her baby. While she manages to hide the little one away, Michael finally gets his hunger satiated by killing her. The moment is one of the most brutal ways in the franchise up until that point. Rest in peace, Jamie, you held your ground for as long as you could, the sequels were just too relentless.
The movie then cuts to a whole different scene going on. We have a new family living in the Myers house and their youngest child is hearing voices telling him to kill his loved ones. Tommy Lloyd is watching the family, played by none other than Paul Rudd in his first-ever theatrical role. Tommy still carries trauma from the events all those years ago when Laurie Strode was babysitting him. So when he finds Jamie’s baby, his part in the story becomes even more essential.
Dr Loomis also stars in what was Donald Pleasance’s final role before his passing. He and Tommy try to stop Michael once and for all before the cycle can repeat itself. As it turns out, Michael is a victim of a druid cult which makes him want to kill his family members every Halloween. Thorn, the cult in question, thinks they can control Michael and make him do their bidding. This results in catastrophe and Michael goes berzerk and kills all the cult members. Once again, it’s one of the most gruesome montages for the franchise up until that point.
Tommy and Kara are left to face Michael on their own which they manage to do with some corrosive liquid and good luck. However, nothing stays dead in this franchise as it’s soon revealed Michael somehow escaped and this time Dr Loomis might not be so lucky…
Overall thoughts
I would say for me personally Halloween VI definitely ranks somewhere near the bottom. The whole point of Michael is that there is no rhyme or reason to his killings and this film tries to go against that. I am glad the mistake was rectified by the upcoming installment. There were still some good things about it, such as Paul Rudd’s acting that reveals some raw talent as far as I’m concerned, as well as some direction choices and musical score. However, I also think it absolutely deserves all the criticism that it gets.
(2.5 / 5)
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
(4 / 5)
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
(3.5 / 5)
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