Let’s just jump into it! Here are some interesting ideas for future installments in the Friday the 13th franchise. Obviously, I could have come up with 13 ideas, but I’m not a gimmicky bastard. I repeat: Here are 7 ideas, not 13. You’ll read them and you’ll like them, damn it.
1. Give Jason’s Mom More Screentime!
The original Friday the 13th film’s character of Mrs. Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) certainly made an impact. In fact, in that film, she was actually the big splash, with Jason largely being a mere ripple, or at most a dream. Still, an argument can be made that, perhaps, Jason has stolen the show a bit too much.
Sure, we have caught brief glimpses of Jason’s mom here and there, with her being played and voiced by different people in brief scenes (Marilyn Poucher, Paula Shaw, Nana Visitor, Kathleen Garrett, etc.), but Pamela Voorhees could probably return. Hey, if they put Jason in space, why not find creative ways to bring back his mom?
2. Expand on the Concepts In ‘Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday’ (1993)
Not everyone likes this movie, and it’s not too difficult to understand why. It definitely has some baffling moments and the Jason myth is expanded in some weird-ass ways. Still, this movie does have its fans, and there was a lot of “retconning” going on with this installment, leaving plenty of gaps between ideas in previous films and this one. Of course, Jason returned from Hell to fight Freddy Krueger, but even that could obviously be retconned.
The point is, this might be a bad idea, but some really adventurous writer might try to do a special follow-up to this story. In fact, this film has an odd moment with the Necronomicon, which I always assumed was somehow linked to Jason’s powers. Were Mr. and/or Mrs. Voorhees involved in “Evil Dead”-style spells, somehow invoking a special curse involving Jason? A film exploring this concept would probably be terrible, but there’s still something bold about someone willing to explore this greater Voorhees universe.
3. Humanizing Jason (and Piss Off Certain Fans?)
Yes, Jason has already been humanized at various points in the Friday the 13th franchise. In fact, in Part 2 he almost seems like an ordinary guy, and possibly even some deranged redneck. Also, in the 2009 reboot, Jason sort of went back to those roots, even setting up boobytraps and such. However, I like the idea of being bold, even if it might piss off the fans. I’m talking about an almost genre-defying, intelligent, deliberative Jason, who might even be capable of talking and stuff!
I know, I know, this will instantly piss off many fans. However, it’s not as crazy as you might think. In the first film, you know what is strongly implied several times? Jason could talk! Yes, I am not imagining things. Pamela Voorhees repeatedly flashes back to a young Jason calling out for help. Now, maybe she was being crazy and just fantasizing about Jason’s ability to speak, but I don’t know. She might have been crazy, but it seems like she wouldn’t randomly attribute speaking ability to her mute son. Also, if you think I’m full of shit, go ahead and remind yourself about this moment with this clip:
So, interestingly, when people tell you the filmmakers flopped in Jason Goes to Hell” for making Jason speak, you can actually correct them and say, “Well, actually, Jason had spoken before that” (you don’t have to say, in a stewing rage, “Jason actually cried for help, you ignorant sonofabitch!”) On that note, it would be interesting to witness the moment Jason vowed to make sure no one would survive Camp Crystal Lake ever again. While a talkative Jason might not represent the Jason most people know, smarty-pants fans like myself can have the added bonus of saying “Well, actually…”
4. Final Girls Team Up with Tommy Jarvis to Take on Jason
This one seems like a no-brainer, especially when more fans would be on board with it than some of the crappier ideas I’ve presented here. In the final encounter between Jason and these various survivors, who would doubt that Jason would have a serious fight on his hands? Hell, you could even through in a few new survivors, if you wish to keep things fresh. The potential seems inherent. Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman/John Shepherd/Thom Mathews) has sort of been the John Connor of the Friday the 13th franchise. At the very least, imagine if he teamed up with the series’ Carrie character, Tina Shepard (Lar Park Lincoln)!
5. A More Water-Based Jason
This idea isn’t entirely new. Obviously, Jason has spent plenty of time in the water. We’ve seen him jump out of the water, pull people under the water, emerge from the lake while clasping Fred Krueger’s (Robert Englund) severed head, and oddly get melted into a non-deformed little boy in swim trunks (Timothy Burr Mirkovich) by toxic waste. However, I think a daring writer could get even more creative with it. I mean obnoxiously and stupidly so.
What if Jason becomes more of a water elemental/ghost-like entity? Bad idea city, right? Maybe so, but it’s really no worse (and possibly better) than sending Jason Voorhees into goddamn outer space! The point is, the story element is already there, with Jason already around the lake hoping to drive the surviving campers out. Imagine if he wasn’t even trying to swim across to them, but basically was the water. It’s not so different from “Jason attacks from the water.” It also makes him more spectral. It may be a bad idea in most hands, but it seems like something that could work…but probably wouldn’t.
6. Jason Takes Manhattan…But More This Time?
I like Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, but people often complain about it being “Jason on a boat” more than Jason in Manhattan. Obviously, the excuse for the limited time in Manhattan was a limited budget. While we do get some memorable NYC moments, it was not enough to pacify everyone. What if that were to change, and Jason was retconned back into Manhattan? Maybe they could have him be captured, much like they do in “Jason X,” and transported to a special research lab in Manhattan?
Hell, the remake could even have nods to the original. Maybe you could have Rennie (Jensen Daggett) return, just so Jason can take her under the water and try to drown her again. After all, such a premise could never get old, right? Maybe she got knocked on the head, received amnesia, and decides to go swimming to revitalize her memory…and then WHAMMO!, Jason’s got her by the leg and that old romantic just won’t let go! Then she breaks free and decides to go to Manhattan to see a broadway show and Jason, that old rapscallion, happened to score some tickets and is ready to join her there, too. (Obviously, I am making light of tragic situations, but you get the idea.)
7. The Psychological Angle
Remember Part 5, which doesn’t even have a real Jason in it? Of course, you do! By that point, it seemed some people were fine with leaving the actual Jason hacked up, at the bottom of the lake, or wherever. In fact, some people thought even the second Friday the 13th film was a bit out there. A drowned kid returning for revenge? How? Well, part of the reason parts 1, 2, and 5 sort of work is obvious: They all have a psychological angle to them, so people are less likely to sweat the small stuff like “Does this story and timeline really make sense?”
By applying just a bit of a psychological twist, one can make just about any idea seem somewhat deeper, even if only superficially. Hell, even Part 7 has some of that going on. The point is, some skilled craftsmen could perhaps get to work on a deeper, more psychologically rooted depiction of Jason Voorhees. Maybe it’s good to avoid stereotypical Freudian stuff, but who knows? Maybe that cigar isn’t just a cigar. There are plenty of bizarre, twisted twists and turns to be made here.
Also, with how polished and refined some people are trying to be nowadays, the climate is perhaps just right to (even lazily) deliver freakish shocks and remind people what deeply disturbing stuff is actually buried beneath that hockey mask. Was Jason abused as a child and made too psychologically dependent on his mother? There’s a little bit of room to explore there, in the dark corners of the Voorheesian revenge motif. Of course, you can always have Jason fight someone other than Freddy, like Mike Myers (and I don’t mean Austin Powers — though, after seeing Jason in space, having him actually fight Austin Powers wouldn’t be much of a stretch. After all, in “Jason X” he did literally take on a fembot).
What are your thoughts on this list? Would they help or ruin the Friday the 13th franchise? Wouldn’t you see these movies either way? Admit it: You probably would, you hapless fool! Jason has you by the non-literal balls and you don’t even want him to let go, do you?
She Will, a Film Review
She Will is a 2021 supernatural horror film directed by Charlotte Colbert. This R-rated film includes Alice Krige and Kota Eberhardt.
She Will is a 2021 supernatural horror film directed by Charlotte Colbert. This R-rated film boasts a cast that includes Alice Krige, Kota Eberhardt, and Malcolm McDowell. This movie is currently only available on Shudder.
Veronica (Alice Krige) is an actress recovering from a double mastectomy at a spiritual retreat in Scotland. With the help of her nurse, Desi (Kota Eberhardt), she slowly connects with the land and its dark legacy. However, the remake of her breakout role and the director who haunts her bring back troubling memories. But the land seeks to make her whole, no matter the cost.
What I Like
This film is beautiful, giving the setting a character all its own. While not every frame delivers expert detail, the majority of She Will certainly evokes the viewer. This only adds to the horror, turning the supernatural into a force of nature itself.
The relationship between Desi and Veronica, changing throughout the film, brings a lot for the actresses to utilize. It should go without saying that Malcolm McDowell amplifies every scene he’s in.
I wouldn’t call this an arthouse film, but it centers itself on womanhood interestingly and artfully. This includes darker subjects of exploitation, specifically in the film industry, through Veronica’s personal journey.
What I Dislike, or Food for Thought
She Will deals with heavy subject matter. As alluded to earlier, Veronica’s journey implies many things that will be hard for some viewers. There is also an attempted assault.
Malcolm McDowell plays an eccentric director, but I would have liked to see him without the public persona. For the most part, the viewer hears rumors but only see the friendly facade.
While the subject matter and visuals can be intense, I wouldn’t exactly call the film frightening.
Where She Will might lack in horror, it makes up for in the stunning visuals and execution. Alice Krige plays a dynamic character who brings to life Veronica’s struggles. If one fancies a journey of self-discovery and empowerment like Midsommar, She Will might fill that niche.
(4 / 5)
The Last of Us: Episode 3: Long, Long Time
One of the first mentions of Bill and Frank in HBO’s The Last of Us is in episode one, when Ellie discovers that Joel and Tess communicate with men over the radio via 60’s-80’s pop songs. Rewind to the end of the episode, when Depeche Mode’s 80’s hit “Never Let Me Down Again” plays. Bill and Frank are in some sort of trouble. In the third episode of this series, “Long, Long Time,” we find out what that trouble was.
*WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS*
The Dead Can’t Get Infected
Let me preface by saying that however you think this episode is going to be, you’re most likely very, very wrong.
“Long, Long Time,” begins shortly after Joel and Ellie are forced to leave Tess and escape the Boston capitol building. They are in the forest, prepping for another long journey ahead of them. As they walk, we learn more backstory on the origin of the Cordyceps pandemic. “Who was the first to bite? Was it monkeys? I bet it was monkeys,” Ellie says. But Joel explains no, it wasn’t monkeys. Rather, the disease spread through basic food products, like flour or sugar. Then the cordyceps mutated as flour, sugar, biscuit and pancake batter hit the store shelves that Thursday before the outbreak, infecting everyone who purchased those products. “That makes more sense,” Ellie somberly admits.
Eventually, they find a picked-over abandoned grocery store, where Joel hides his assault rifle and green toolbox underneath the floorboards. While Joel is looking around the store for supplies, Ellie heads to a room in the back and finds a hidden basement. Unbeknownst to Joel, she crawls inside and comes face to face with an infected. Luckily, Ellie has the advantage; the infected is crushed by a pile of rocks and has no chance of escaping. Ellie walks over to it, cuts her knife across its face, then stabs it to death. Her first kill.
Once the two are done with the store, they continue on their journey to Bill and Frank’s, whom we finally get to meet.
It’s September 30, 2003, four days after the outbreak. Bill (Nick Offerman), a burly survivalist, is hiding in his bunker, watching the cameras planted outside his house. FEDRA is taking survivors to a Quarantine Zone (QZ). Once Bill confirms he is alone, he makes the town his own.
Four years of isolation pass and we witness all the work Bill has put in to protect his home from infected and raiders alike. He is a hardened man who is afraid of nothing. He has safe-proofed his home with trip wires, high voltage electric fences and trap holes. When an uninfected man on his way to Boston suddenly falls into one of the holes, Bill’s entire world changes. The man is named Frank (Murray Bartlett), and he and Bill quickly become infatuated with one another. Before we know it, another three years have passed and Frank is still living with Bill. Their contrasting personalities compliment each other as they protect the neighborhood together. And Frank’s desire to meet knew people overcomes Bill’s tenacity for seclusion. Thus, the origin of their partnership with Joel and Tess.
PlayStation vs. HBO
“Long, Long Ride” is brutal in the most unexpected ways. In the playstation game, we meet Bill after he saves Joel and Ellie from a swarm of infected after Joel gets caught in one of Bill’s traps. He takes them back to a hideout, where Joel picks up ammo, can update his weapons at a workbench, and receives a shotgun and nail bomb recipe. Meanwhile, Bill and Ellie, being the stubborn characters that they are, are at odds with each other throughout their entire journey together.
It is in this saga with Bill that we come across a Bloater, the most aggressive infected character in the first Last of Us game. Finally, the trio make it to Bill’s home, where they find Frank’s lifeless body hanging from a ceiling. He became infected and chose to end his life before turning into an unrecognizable monster.
None of this happens in “Long, Long Time.” While the game hints at Bill being gay through Frank’s suicide note and a male porn magazine that Ellie stole from Bill’s hideout, there is not any other mention of it. He refers to Frank as his “partner” and nothing else. While it is clear that Frank and Bill were in a relationship, it was not a very loving one judging by the hatefulness toward Bill in Frank’s suicide note.
However, in the HBO show, Bill and Frank’s relationship is healthy and loving, including their fights. “Long, Long Time” presents a refreshing depiction of healthy masculinity and sexuality that stays authentic to the characters and their stories.
Another difference from the game is that the only interaction between Bill and Joel in episode three is when they meet for the first time, almost ten years after the outbreak, at a small dinner party at Bill and Frank’s house. While it would have been fun to see more interaction between Bill and Joel in the show, their lack of shared screen-time doesn’t downplay the importance they have in each other’s lives. This is pertinent to a decision Joel makes about whether to keep traveling with Ellie, and it happens in the end of the episode, when Bill and Frank are both dead.
“I hope he never lets me down again.”
Bill is a character who means business and doesn’t care much for the people with whom he shares this world. Nick Offerman took this characterization and ran with it, transforming into the most believable performance of Bill any Last of Us fan could ask for. He is a delightful live-action version of this bitter, coldhearted character.
And yet, there is so much to Bill we don’t know about that HBO was determined to show us. Yes, Bill is an angry reclusive survivalist who was “happy when the world ended.” He is not afraid to shoot down trespassers, infected or not, and exhibits a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag in his bunker that is filled floor to ceiling with an array of guns and other weaponry. But after he meets Frank, it turns out that Bill is also sensitive, sweet and filled with unwavering protective love.
Offerman and Bartlett’s chemistry with one another is beautiful. Bartlett brings Frank to life as more than just a man who hated Bill. He has a rich, cultured personality, is full of love and hope. Perhaps the most heartwarming part of the episode is when Frank surprises Bill with a garden of strawberries in their backyard. After a decade of rations and frozen meals, one can only imagine the bliss of eating freshly picked fruit for the first time since the world’s end. With the sun’s rays beaming through the trees and small bugs floating around them, Offerman and Bartlett performed this scene with such sincerity and love that it felt like we, the audience, were right there with them.
“Long, Long Time” ends with Joel and Ellie finally making it to Bill and Frank’s home. Here, all the flowers are dead, an unfinished dinner is caked with mold and a note to Joel is left on the kitchen table. Bill left all his belongings to Joel, including his beloved truck.
“Long, Long Time” is devastating. Offerman and Bartlett’s performances, coupled with the heartbreaking score and thoughtful film editing, create an unexpected love story in a gruesome, ruthless world. All the while, the world-building continues, the story progresses and Joel and Ellie’s bond slowly grows stronger. While there are moments of dialogue identical to the game, this episode is ultimately original. In other words: it is tv filmmaking at its finest. It asks audiences to trust the writers with any creative liberties they’ll take with the show. I would say this request for trust is justified.(5 / 5)
It is in this part in the game where Joel and Ellie meet Sam and Henry. Will we meet them in the next episode? We won’t find out until next week. So until then, make sure you check out the other shows and games we’re consuming at HauntedMTL.
Marionette, a Film Review
Marionette is a 2020 psychological thriller directed by Elbert Van Strien. This R-rated film stars Thekla Reuten and Elijah Wolf.
Marionette is a 2020 psychological thriller directed by Elbert Van Strien. The film stars Thekla Reuten, Elijah Wolf, and Emun Elliott. As of this review, this R-rated film is available on Amazon Prime, Shudder, and AMC+.
Dr. Marianne Winter (Thekla Reuten) moves to Scotland, having found an opening for her practice. As a therapist, she begins to meet with her clients and adjust to her new life. However, one of her clients, a troubled boy named Manny (Elijah Wolf), has the whole institution frightened. As she soon learns, the boy knows too much and has a wicked temper.
What I Like
Few films make me feel the spiraling madness of the protagonist. Marionette sits as one such example. The growing evidence facing her leaves the audience as uncertain as the protagonist. And as she becomes more extreme, we fear if she’s right or wrong.
While not too exceptional, lovely visuals throughout the film reflect the mood and situations nicely. From white rooms to stormy nights, many scenes bring life a character’s inner state. Some might find this “on the nose,” but the premise and execution highlight these moments.
What I Dislike
Taking the premise at face value, I find it strange that Dr. Marianne Winter would be the main character. Without spoiling anything, the end makes me reflect a little harder against some potential interpretations.
This leads to a somewhat ambiguous element of the film. When a film has ambiguity, all parts should be possible. However, this doesn’t feel true for Marionette.
Marionette is an interesting and rewarding experience. While some elements don’t tie perfectly with the conclusion, it will have you questioning what is and isn’t real. For a psychological thriller, it’s hard to ask for more. While the film won’t be ideal for everyone, those interested should certainly give it a watch.(3.5 / 5)
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