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Let’s just jump into it! Here are some interesting ideas for future installments in the Friday the 13th franchise.  Obviously, I could have come up with 13 ideas, but I’m not a gimmicky bastard.  I repeat:  Here are 7 ideas, not 13.  You’ll read them and you’ll like them, damn it.  

1.  Give Jason’s Mom More Screentime!

The original Friday the 13th film’s character of Mrs. Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) certainly made an impact.  In fact, in that film, she was actually the big splash, with Jason largely being a mere ripple, or at most a dream.  Still, an argument can be made that, perhaps, Jason has stolen the show a bit too much.  
Sure, we have caught brief glimpses of Jason’s mom here and there, with her being played and voiced by different people in brief scenes (Marilyn Poucher, Paula Shaw, Nana Visitor, Kathleen Garrett, etc.), but Pamela Voorhees could probably return.  Hey, if they put Jason in space, why not find creative ways to bring back his mom?  

2.  Expand on the Concepts In ‘Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday’ (1993)

Not everyone likes this movie, and it’s not too difficult to understand why.  It definitely has some baffling moments and the Jason myth is expanded in some weird-ass ways.  Still, this movie does have its fans, and there was a lot of “retconning” going on with this installment, leaving plenty of gaps between ideas in previous films and this one.  Of course, Jason returned from Hell to fight Freddy Krueger, but even that could obviously be retconned.  

The point is, this might be a bad idea, but some really adventurous writer might try to do a special follow-up to this story.  In fact, this film has an odd moment with the Necronomicon, which I always assumed was somehow linked to Jason’s powers.  Were Mr. and/or Mrs. Voorhees involved in “Evil Dead”-style spells, somehow invoking a special curse involving Jason?  A film exploring this concept would probably be terrible, but there’s still something bold about someone willing to explore this greater Voorhees universe.  

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3.  Humanizing Jason (and Piss Off Certain Fans?)

Yes, Jason has already been humanized at various points in the Friday the 13th franchise.  In fact, in Part 2 he almost seems like an ordinary guy, and possibly even some deranged redneck.  Also, in the 2009 reboot, Jason sort of went back to those roots, even setting up boobytraps and such.  However, I like the idea of being bold, even if it might piss off the fans.  I’m talking about an almost genre-defying, intelligent, deliberative Jason, who might even be capable of talking and stuff!

I know, I know, this will instantly piss off many fans.  However, it’s not as crazy as you might think.  In the first film, you know what is strongly implied several times?  Jason could talk!  Yes, I am not imagining things.  Pamela Voorhees repeatedly flashes back to a young Jason calling out for help.  Now, maybe she was being crazy and just fantasizing about Jason’s ability to speak, but I don’t know.  She might have been crazy, but it seems like she wouldn’t randomly attribute speaking ability to her mute son.  Also, if you think I’m full of shit, go ahead and remind yourself about this moment with this clip:

So, interestingly, when people tell you the filmmakers flopped in Jason Goes to Hell” for making Jason speak, you can actually correct them and say, “Well, actually, Jason had spoken before that” (you don’t have to say, in a stewing rage, “Jason actually cried for help, you ignorant sonofabitch!”)  On that note, it would be interesting to witness the moment Jason vowed to make sure no one would survive Camp Crystal Lake ever again.  While a talkative Jason might not represent the Jason most people know, smarty-pants fans like myself can have the added bonus of saying “Well, actually…”

4.  Final Girls Team Up with Tommy Jarvis to Take on Jason

This one seems like a no-brainer, especially when more fans would be on board with it than some of the crappier ideas I’ve presented here.  In the final encounter between Jason and these various survivors, who would doubt that Jason would have a serious fight on his hands?  Hell, you could even through in a few new survivors, if you wish to keep things fresh.  The potential seems inherent.  Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman/John Shepherd/Thom Mathews) has sort of been the John Connor of the Friday the 13th franchise.  At the very least, imagine if he teamed up with the series’ Carrie character, Tina Shepard (Lar Park Lincoln)!  

5.  A More Water-Based Jason

This idea isn’t entirely new.  Obviously, Jason has spent plenty of time in the water.  We’ve seen him jump out of the water, pull people under the water, emerge from the lake while clasping Fred Krueger’s (Robert Englund) severed head, and oddly get melted into a non-deformed little boy in swim trunks (Timothy Burr Mirkovich) by toxic waste.  However, I think a daring writer could get even more creative with it.  I mean obnoxiously and stupidly so.  

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What if Jason becomes more of a water elemental/ghost-like entity?  Bad idea city, right?  Maybe so, but it’s really no worse (and possibly better) than sending Jason Voorhees into goddamn outer space!  The point is, the story element is already there, with Jason already around the lake hoping to drive the surviving campers out.  Imagine if he wasn’t even trying to swim across to them, but basically was the water.  It’s not so different from “Jason attacks from the water.”  It also makes him more spectral.  It may be a bad idea in most hands, but it seems like something that could work…but probably wouldn’t.  

6.  Jason Takes Manhattan…But More This Time?

I like Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, but people often complain about it being “Jason on a boat” more than Jason in Manhattan.  Obviously, the excuse for the limited time in Manhattan was a limited budget.  While we do get some memorable NYC moments, it was not enough to pacify everyone.  What if that were to change, and Jason was retconned back into Manhattan?  Maybe they could have him be captured, much like they do in “Jason X,” and transported to a special research lab in Manhattan?  

Hell, the remake could even have nods to the original.  Maybe you could have Rennie (Jensen Daggett) return, just so Jason can take her under the water and try to drown her again.  After all, such a premise could never get old, right?  Maybe she got knocked on the head, received amnesia, and decides to go swimming to revitalize her memory…and then WHAMMO!, Jason’s got her by the leg and that old romantic just won’t let go!  Then she breaks free and decides to go to Manhattan to see a broadway show and Jason, that old rapscallion, happened to score some tickets and is ready to join her there, too.  (Obviously, I am making light of tragic situations, but you get the idea.)

7.  The Psychological Angle

Remember Part 5, which doesn’t even have a real Jason in it?  Of course, you do!  By that point, it seemed some people were fine with leaving the actual Jason hacked up, at the bottom of the lake, or wherever.  In fact, some people thought even the second Friday the 13th film was a bit out there.  A drowned kid returning for revenge?  How?  Well, part of the reason parts 1, 2, and 5 sort of work is obvious:  They all have a psychological angle to them, so people are less likely to sweat the small stuff like “Does this story and timeline really make sense?”  

 By applying just a bit of a psychological twist, one can make just about any idea seem somewhat deeper, even if only superficially.  Hell, even Part 7 has some of that going on.  The point is, some skilled craftsmen could perhaps get to work on a deeper, more psychologically rooted depiction of Jason Voorhees.  Maybe it’s good to avoid stereotypical Freudian stuff, but who knows?  Maybe that cigar isn’t just a cigar.  There are plenty of bizarre, twisted twists and turns to be made here.  

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Also, with how polished and refined some people are trying to be nowadays, the climate is perhaps just right to (even lazily) deliver freakish shocks and remind people what deeply disturbing stuff is actually buried beneath that hockey mask.  Was Jason abused as a child and made too psychologically dependent on his mother?  There’s a little bit of room to explore there, in the dark corners of the Voorheesian revenge motif.   Of course, you can always have Jason fight someone other than Freddy, like Mike Myers (and I don’t mean Austin Powers — though, after seeing Jason in space, having him actually fight Austin Powers wouldn’t be much of a stretch.  After all, in “Jason X” he did literally take on a fembot).

What are your thoughts on this list?  Would they help or ruin the Friday the 13th franchise?  Wouldn’t you see these movies either way?  Admit it:  You probably would, you hapless fool!  Jason has you by the non-literal balls and you don’t even want him to let go, do you?

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Ashley

    April 12, 2021 at 7:06 pm

    Water elemental Jason is needed like yesterday. Go out! Go crazy. Worst case is you piss off fans (oh noooooooo) or you have something incredible.

    • Wade Wainio

      April 23, 2021 at 1:17 pm

      It would be interesting, and possibly even scary.

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Movies n TV

The Boys, Season Four Finale

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We have come now to the finale of season four of The Boys. And while it didn’t have the literal blood fireworks I wanted, someone did get ripped in half in the air. So, that’s pretty close.

As a note, I will try to avoid spoilers as much as possible. This ending was a hell of a gut punch that should be experienced as blindly as possible. That being said, I will not be able to avoid spoilers and still give a full legitimate review. Proceed at your own risk.

The story

The main storyline for this episode is the attempted assassination of President-Elect Robert Singer. The Boys join forces with the Secret Service to protect him. But, as we learned last episode, Annie has been replaced with a shapeshifter. A shapeshifter that was welcome not just into Hughie’s anus, but into the protective bunker in which the President-Elect is hiding.

What worked

The first thing I want to discuss about this episode is the ending. But we need to do this carefully.

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The important thing here is that the ending breaks your heart on so many levels. So many terrible things are happening to characters that it’s almost hard to keep track. And each moment is significant to each character.

I cannot give a specific example. But no matter who your favorite character is, you’re going to weep for them.

Jack Quaid in The Boys.

Unless your favorite character is Sage. And this is the next thing that made this episode so fantastic.

I don’t think I’m spoiling anything to say that Sage’s plans worked out exactly as she wanted them to. And she got exactly what she wanted.

What she wanted wasn’t power. It wasn’t money or fame or vengeance. It wasn’t to win the love of anyone. She just wanted to see if she could do it.

That is a terrific, terrifying motivation! Because all she wants is to play a massive game of chess with people as pieces. She doesn’t care about anyone. She just wants to see how many people she can manipulate. She just wants to set things on fire to see if she can.

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Fantastic. A plus villain work.

The next thing I want to discuss is a cornerstone of the whole series.

The morality of The Boys shifts through the series. While it’s very much a battle to save the world from overpowered super monsters, it’s also a battle for the souls of our real heroes. And in that battle, there are two warring factors. We have Hughie, always trying to bring everyone up to a better level. And we have Butcher, who has no problem at all hitting rock bottom with a shovel in hand to do some more digging.

In this episode, we saw almost every member of The Boys challenged. Will they rise to their higher angels, or sink with their demons?

On a similar note, I am so glad that the writers kind of addressed my issues with Annie. They did this by having the shapeshifter get right into her face and accuse her of thinking that she’s better than everyone.

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Erin Moriarty in The Boys.

While that was devastating for the character, it was a little cathartic for those of us who felt like Annie was a little too good of a good guy.

What didn’t work

This is a small matter, but it is an issue that I want to address. After Annie finds out that Hughie slept with her doppelganger, she is furious at him.

In addition to this being unfair, it’s also a very cliche element to add. In almost every instance of a lookalike in fiction, there’s a moment where the love interest of the victim is fooled. Or almost fooled. And it’s always the same fight. It’s just played out and predictable. I’m just glad that it didn’t last very long.

Now that we’ve come to the end of the season, I can officially say that it was amazing. The story was deep and rich. The special effects were a stomach-turning good time. The character development was spot-on and satisfying. And, of course, it left me just about gagging to see what happens next. Unfortunately, it looks like we’ll have a bit of a wait. Because as of right now, the fifth season isn’t expected until 2026.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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The Boys, The Insider

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We’ve reached the second to last episode of The Boys, season four. And, as is appropriate for the penultimate episode of any show, things have to get a lot worse before they can get better.

Let’s discuss.

The story

Christmas is coming, and the whole world is getting ready. Ryan, despite being very clear that he didn’t want to appear on any TV shows or movies, has been strong-armed into participating in a Vought puppet Christmas special. He draws the line, though, when asked to sing about turning one’s parents in if they start talking about woke things.

Cameron Crovetti in The Boys.

Meanwhile, The Boys are trying to keep each other together. Butcher decides to take Sameer to the rest of the team. He also gets Frenchie out of prison, hoping they can make the Sup virus necessary to finally take down Homelander. Instead, this decision means disaster for one member of the team.

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What worked

I first want to talk about Ryan’s speech near the end of the episode. Because it was exactly the moral of this whole story.

Ryan’s dad is a monster. His stepdad is also kind of a monster. But Ryan is a good kid. He cares about people, about family. And while he loves Homelander and Butcher, he doesn’t want to be like them.

Even better, this speech sounded like something a kid would say. Ryan didn’t open his mouth and start sounding like a college student all of a sudden. He sounds like a kid who misses his mom and wants to live up to the good standards she set for him. And I think that’s terrific.

Speaking of Homelander, he shot himself in the foot in this episode. I said earlier in the season that his hubris was going to be his downfall, and I was right. Without Sage, he just has the same weaknesses he’s always had. He’s going to fail because he just isn’t clever enough or patient enough to succeed.

Without Sage, I think a win is in the bag for The Boys. This isn’t to say that Homelander by himself isn’t dangerous. It’s just that he’s more like a wildfire than a controlled burn. He’s going to cause a lot of damage, but not get anything he wants out of it.

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More’s the pity for him and everyone else who has to share his world.

Finally, I am thrilled with A-Train’s redemption story. I love that he wants to be a good person not to save himself, but to be a good person. His honest, pure and warm reaction to that little kid smiling at him in the last episode was heartwarming. It changed him in a moment, bringing to light a goodness that he’s been keeping under wraps for a long time.

Jessie T. Usher in The Boys.

This, along with Ryan’s courageous speech, proves once again what The Boys does so well. Yes, it’s gruesome. Yes, there’s blood and balls and batshit events. Yes, someone occasionally gets ripped in half. But there is a true human goodness in the story. One that we catch glimpses of. There are good people among the monsters. There is hope for redemption.

What didn’t work

Of course, so few things in this life are perfect, and this episode was no exception. For instance, I was irritated by the insinuation that Butcher cheated on his wife.

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That just doesn’t make any sense. We’ve seen flashbacks of Billy and Becca. They were happy. He was happy. He was head over heels for her. And I don’t think it’s realistic or necessary for the character to throw in that he cheated. It does nothing to add to the story, it’s just a weird and offputting moment.

Doesn’t Butcher have enough to hate about himself? Can’t we just give him that at least he was a good husband?

Finally, I kind of hate that we ended up with Annie being caught. It’s just cliche, which is something I don’t normally say about this show. It feels lazy unless they do something very clever with it in the last episode. Which, I suppose, they might.

Next up is the season finale. And with this season being as insane as it has been, I’m expecting nothing short of bloody fireworks. And I mean literal fireworks of blood. At this point, would it surprise anyone?

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

The Boys, Dirty Business

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Episode six of The Boys was one of the most surprising episodes of the series so far. And that is certainly saying something. Because this season has so far been bonkers.

The story

Our episode today revolves around a party at Tek Knight’s lovely mansion. Yes, it does look just like Wayne Manor.

The Boys know that Tek Knight is working with Homelander on something, but they don’t know the details. So they decide to send Hughie in to bug the mansion.

Because that’s worked so well the other two times he’s tried to hide a bug!

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It should surprise no one that this time goes no better. Hughie finds himself in Tek Knight’s basement. And by that I mean his BDSM dungeon.

Meanwhile, the party upstairs is no less disturbing. Homelander and Sage are trying to convince some well-off political donors to support a cue after the election. When pressed for details on his plan, Homelander freezes. He looks to Sage for help, but she wasn’t recently shot in the head and still in the junk food stage of her healing.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your point of view, Neuman jumps in and saves the day.

Claudia Doumit in The Boys.

What works

If I’m going to say one thing about this episode, it didn’t hold back at all. I didn’t expect them to show a character masturbating, sitting their bare behind on a cake, or spraying breastmilk into someone’s face. But every time I thought they’d cut the scene and let something be left to our imagination, they did not do that.

Derek Wilson in The Boys.

This is a dangerous move. Whenever you show the monster, you run the risk of them not being scary enough, or gross enough. As Stephen King says in Danse Macabre, to leave this sort of thing to the imagination if the reader makes things so much worse. So when they finally experience the monster, they might say that this isn’t so bad. It could have been so much worse.

But in this case, they managed to avoid that by making the scenes, especially the ones in Tek Knight’s dungeon, so much worse than I imagined it would be.

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What doesn’t work

While this was a deeply disturbing episode in many ways, there was one really innocent and sweet moment.

And yes, I did have a problem with it.

Confronted by Firecracker, Annie decides to apologize for spreading rumors about her when they were kids. She tells her that she is genuinely sorry.

And I believe her. I don’t think Firecracker did, but I did.

So why is this an issue? Because I’m starting to think that Annie is maybe too nice. She is too good.

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I know that Annie is our good guy. But every one of the other good guys has flaws. Hughie let his pride get in the way and took Temp V. MM hid himself from his daughter instead of teaching her to work through her emotions. Kimiko is far too closed off and has a hard time trusting others. Frenchie numbs himself with drugs. And well, what hasn’t Butcher done?

It is unrealistic that Annie is just so kind and so flawless. We all have shadows in our personalities. We all have weaknesses, we all mess up. We all do things we wish we could take back. The fact that Annie doesn’t seem to have anything like that is not just unrealistic. It’s infantilizing.

Give her some deep dark secrets. Give her something real to regret.

This was a shocking episode, even for someone fairly jaded like me. I wasn’t expecting the sort of weird sexual depravity, though I guess maybe I should have seen it coming. It was dark, upsetting, tense, and funny as hell. And with just two episodes left in the season, I can imagine the stakes are only going to get higher.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

By the way, if you like my writing you can get my short story, Man In The Woods, on Smashwords and Amazon.

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