Weekly Wail: My Friday the 13th Reboot – Chapter Two: The Woman in the Woods

Published

4 years ago

April 20, 2020

David Davis

Welcome back. Last week I took some time to outline the first episode of a Friday the 13th reboot miniseries. The whole thing sprung up after re-watching the series and deciding that I wanted to develop a story that felt more cohesive.

Where we last left off, we discovered that there have been yearly murders in a county around the Crystal Lake area for a couple of decades. With the attempt to re-open Camp Crystal Lake as a sort of upper-class escape for kids, Pamela Voorhees, mother of a child who went missing at the camp back in the 1980s, has been protesting the decision to reopen the campgrounds.

Also, she used black magic to bring her son back to life, who she has had chained up in a basement for twenty years, what with him coming back “wrong” and all.

Chapter Two: The Woman in the Woods

We begin with a cold open in the 1990s. Pamela is enjoying herself in a bar and decides to take a handsome stranger home to her cabin in the woods. She is in the middle of loving him in a biblical sense when he is alarmed by sounds below the floor. He asks if she has a kid. She tells him to ignore it and they get back to lovemaking. Suddenly, an enraged teenage Jason bursts into the room and rips the man from Pamela and beats him to death. Jason shudders on the floor, almost orgasmic, with his fists caked in blood. Pamela scolds him but then goes to comfort her son. We do not see his face yet.

“It’s okay,” she tells him, “nothing will come between us.”

Back in the present, Alice has gone to the Sheriff’s office to ask about the incident at the camp back in the 1980s. Sheriff Savini tells her to stop stirring up trouble but reluctantly grants her access when she mentions seeing that Ms. Voorhees was in the camp records back then. He’s had trouble with her for years, now.

Meanwhile, the final day of preparation is at an end at the camp. The counselors are having a barbecue but it is interrupted by an aggravated Pamela Voorhees. She has come to the camp with a machete and begins hacking away at buildings, ropes, and tries to slice open the canoes. She demands the camp be closed. Several counselors try to restrain her and she manages to slice one of them deeply along the arm.

They finally manage to pin her down, but in a moment of distraction she kicks one of the counselors in the groin and darts off into the woods, leaving behind her machete.

Alice and Sheriff Savini are combing through records as Alice suggests that Pamela might have more information on the 1980s massacre. They are interrupted by a deputy who informs them that crazy ol’ Pamela was at the camp and sliced up a kid while trying to wreck the place. Sheriff Savini tells his deputy, Deputy Cunningham, to do a welfare check on Ms. Voorhees at her cabin. Cunningham, clearly concerned, asks if he can have some backup. Savini sends Deputy Hodder along as well. They bring tasers in case she proves to be too much of a handful.

Alice suggests she and Savini head to the camp to retrace the path of destruction within the camp in the 1980s. Specifically, she wants to see if anything might have been overlooked. Savini agrees, albeit reluctantly, as he needs to head to the camp anyway to take statements about the most recent incident.

Cunningham and Hodder pull off the side of the road and step out as the drive up to the Voorhees cabin has not been kept up. The two discuss stories they’ve heard about the reclusive woman. When they finally arrive at the cabin they notice the door is open. They are being watched. They attempt to establish contact with her but fearing the worst and having probable cause, they enter.

Inside they see the place reflects Pamela’s shattered mental state. Everything is dirty and foul, with the exception of a small child’s bedroom, which has been kept immaculately clean. Caught off guard, a massive figure grabs Hodder and smashes his face against the stone fireplace. Cunningham tasers the giant man, who falls to his knees and looks up at him, roaring. We see Jason’s deformed face. Jason begins to rise, shaking off the taser, but Cunningham pulls his gun and shoots Jason in the knee, bringing him down again.

Cunningham steadies his aim to kill Jason when he is bashed in the back of the head by a rock. He falls to the ground, twitching, as Pamela stands over him. She scolds Jason for getting loose as he whimpers. She comforts him again, just as she did in the flashback, and dips her fingers into the pool of blood pooling around Cunningham’s head.

She takes her bloodied fingers and rubs the bullet wound in Jason’s leg. He whimpers, again, very childlike, and we see the wound begin to bubble and heal, albeit in the form ghastly pustules and tumors. She leads her boy back down to the basement and chains him up again.

Having taken statements and it being so late, Savini suggests the survey of the area can wait until after he checks on Ms. Voorhees. Alice, annoyed, has no choice but to agree and instead retires to the faculty bunks to do some studying of the records again.

On her way back she runs across Mr. Eddie Jarvis who is wishing his son, Tommy, off. Tommy won’t be staying at the camp. He’ll be heading home with his mom, Trish. Eddie is the head counselor and asks Alice if she’s excited to see the kids tomorrow. She wonders if the camp will be safe, especially given what happened earlier that evening. Eddie reassures her that Camp Crystal Lake is entirely safe.

We return to Pamela’s cabin. In a frenzy of activity, she begins gathering weapons. In the basement, Jason darts his head back and forth as he hears his mother scuffing the floor above him. We cut back to Pamela tripping over Hodder’s body and kicking it in anger. Blood pooled below the officer falls between the cracks in the floorboards and splashes on the dusty floor in front of Jason. He wipes up the dust and blood with his muscular fingers and brings it to his lips.

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Weekly Wail: In which I try to reboot Friday the 13th.

David Davis

David Davis is a writer, cartoonist, and educator in Southern California with an M.A. in literature and writing studies.

1 Comment

Exx Vxx

April 21, 2020 at 2:15 pm

It really ramps up in the 2nd episode. Did you name the sheriff’s in the firs episode? Or am I just noticing their names now? lol I love the visuals in this.

Reply

Breaking News

Joe Bob Briggs Creepy Christmas spooktacular: The Last Drive-In Special Charity phenomena

Published

4 months ago

December 7, 2023

Jim Phoenix

Famed horror host, Pulitzer Prize nominated, and Cracker Barrel aficionado Joe Bob Briggs is back in action, ready to bring some macabre merriment to your holiday season with Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas. It also gives us horror fans something to take into the new year, be that something Darcy’s panties (sorry, box, I tried) or just the intangible good feels of hanging with friends and supporting a lot of good causes.

The Return of Joe Bob Briggs’s Christmas Special

The Joe Bob Briggs’s Christmas event is akin to a Jerry Lewis telethon for Gen X, with a twist of ‘the last drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs’. This ‘Briggs’ auction of sorts is a nostalgic nod to the past, especially for those who remember the telethons. The dread, however, has shifted from the … well… whatever Jerry was supposed to do (see Sam Kinison’s bit on this for more info) to that of evil goodies.

Without a doubt, this Joe Bob Briggs special is the event we eagerly anticipate each year. It’s a tradition, and a worthy one at that. We hope to see everyone on the interwebs, joining the ‘creepy links’ and engaging in the conversation (We’ll be on Threads and Twitter….tag us as you wish!) ‘live’ the only way anyone should ever watch a tv show (oh, and I guess on demand, but ya weirdos will never know the sting of the Iron Mutant Award!). ‘Live’ is the only way anyone should ever watch a TV show, especially ‘the last drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs’ (as it’s far too hard to watch tv whilst dead).

Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas The ‘Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl’ special will hit the airwaves live on Shudder TV and AMC+ TV on Friday, December 15th at 9 p.m. ET. Fans of ‘the last drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs’ can also catch the special on-demand starting Sunday, December 17th.

A Creepy Christmas with a Cause

In its fourth year, the holiday tradition of The Last Drive-In goes beyond mere entertainment. It aims to use the platform to raise funds for four vital causes. The charity auction will feature unique props and exclusive merchandise from The Last Drive-In and memorabilia from Briggs’ illustrious 35-year career…including some of his unspoken work as John Bloom. I say Unspoken, because if anyone remembers the first Christmas Special, the autographed copy of Eccentric Orbits was featured (sincerely, a good book–check it out if you haven’t. Jim gives it 4.5/5)

The supported charities for Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas will include:

The Mystery of the Joe Bob Briggs’s Creepy Christmas Special

The anticipation for Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas is high, with fans wildly speculating what films will be featured. Personally, nothing can beat the #1 top horror Christmas film of all time, the Easter classic: Passion of the Christ (if a snuff film about a guy who doesn’t fit in getting whipped and nailed up doesn’t scream horror story, I don’t know what does. Also: See Sam Kinison’s concept on crosses and resurrection). However, a Christmas movie I really want to see up on this is Hogzilla and Kiss Save Santa Clause! BOOMMM!! Christmas Won!

As we eagerly wait for December 15th, we wonder what surprises our favorite horror host, Joe Bob Briggs, has in store this time. Will there be exclusive ‘merch’ that Jim will buy and then accidentally put in a Toys for Tots box in the mall?

Join the Fun, Join the Cause, Join the Joe Bob Briggs Christmas event!

Are you ready to dive into the world of Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas? Do you dare to watch along and help raise money for a good cause? If so, join us at HauntedMTL on Threads (_HauntedMTL_) and maybe Twitter (@HauntedMTL) as we experience the thrill and chills that only Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy can deliver.

Remember, this is not just about indulging in some good old horror fun with ‘Joe Bob’s’ double feature. It’s about giving back and making a difference. So, let’s gear up to have a creepy Christmas with ‘Joe Bob Briggs’, filled with ‘christmas horror films’, ‘christmas demons’, ‘christmas slasher films’, ‘ho-ho-horror’, ‘yuletide horror’ and insightful ‘horror commentary’.Joe Bob’s Creepy Christmas and make this holiday season memorable for all the right reasons! I’m sure Fright Rags will have another stellar set this year, too. They are perfect for the horror fan in your life (even if that fan is you!). I can’t wait to see what they have in store (no pun).

SPECIAL — IF YOU WANT Freeeeeeeee (as supplies last) Fright Rags Joe Bob Briggs merch for this year, just tweet/thread at us during the event and Jim will pick the one that makes him chuckle the most (you will need to give us your address and size in DMs)

No subscription to watch Joe Bob Briggs’s Creepy Christmas yet? No problem! Check the link below:

AMC Networks’ Shudder is a premium streaming video service, super-serving members with the best selection in genre entertainment, covering horror, thrillers and the supernatural. Shudder’s expanding library of film, TV series, and originals is available on most streaming devices in the US, Canada, the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. For a 7-day, risk-free trial, visit Joe Bob at www.shudder.com.

Breaking News

#ChadGetsTheAxe Coming Out September 1st

Published

8 months ago

August 31, 2023

J.M. Brannyk

Look, I’m a simple guy. Sure, I like my Small Town Monsters and my silly-billy movies about cats eating people.

But sometimes there comes a film that’s smartly written, full of humor and social commentary, plus great acting. Oh, and scares that actually scare the shit out of me.

Almost a year to the date, I got to watch such a film called #CHADGETSTHEAXE that I saw as a screener for FilmQuest Fest in October, 2022. And I was blown away by the talents of director/co-writer Travis Bible and co-writer/producer Kemerton Hargrove; starring Spencer Harrison Levin (Black Jesus), Michael Bonini (New Amsterdam), Taneisha Figueroa (Duck World), Cameron Vitosh (Walker), Brandon Doyle (Murder Made Me Famous), and Shun Hagins (Snitch).

Mini-Review, I swear it’s short:

And, I know, I know, I know. ‘But Brannyyyyk, isn’t livestreaming horror movies just a flash in the pan? Hasn’t it been done beforeeee?’ For one, stop saying it like that, it’s weird. For two, not like this. The care and attention that went into #CHADGETSTHEAXE is wickedly clever with such tongue-in-cheek humor of influencers, humanity, and the toxic culture of fandom. It’s the shining example of live-streaming movies because it’s so f-ing smart.

Case in point, the characters are living up to their personas. However, even when the personas are ragged and driven to the edge of life and death, we never see them as people, fully dimensional people, because we never see them break away from their devices. There’s never a shot that shows us ‘hey, this is a film, now let’s see them as the real character they are’. The actors are really carrying dual roles as the personas and the real people underneath; as they are struggling to keep up appearances in front of the millions of viewers.

Plus, don’t get me started on the characters within the livestream feed, along with running jokes and clues to the haunted house.

Anyway, I don’t want to give too much away as I’m going to be covering it on Streamin’ Demons soon. But I wanted to also tease about the fact that I’m going to be interviewing some VIPs from the movie for What’s Kraken? So, shhh, only tell your closest friends because it’s going to be incredible.

It has the characters taking selfies in front of an axe killer

Join the Hype Train:

Adapted from an award-winning short with the same title, #ChadGetsTheAxe follows four social media influencers as they live-stream their trip to Devil’s Manor, former home to a Satanic Cult. Things don’t go well. And as the violence ramps up… so do the views.

The film premiered at FilmQuest in October 2022 and Internationally at FrightFest Glasgow in March 2023 where it was well received by critics. #ChadGetsTheAxe was produced by Travis Bible, Eric Gibson, Kemerton Hargrove, and Frances O’Hanlon, while Dream Big Group serves as executive producers.

The Horror Collective is the genre label of Entertainment Squad — a production and distribution company founded by veteran producer Shaked Berenson (TURBO KID, TALES OF HALLOWEEN). The label’s latest releases include the Daytime Emmy nominated Limited Series DOOMSDAY, the killer-pants Shudder Original SLAXX, and the critically acclaimed horror-comedy SUMMONING SYLVIA.

Website: https://thehorrorcollective.com/

I’m hoping it gets DVD distribution one day because I’m old and I need DVDs for when the zombie apocalypse happens.

Breaking News

June Title for Arrow Streaming

Published

11 months ago

June 1, 2023

J.M. Brannyk

Welcome to June! There’s so much on the hopper for Arrow that I just have to give you, my friends, the hot goss.

Just a picture of the stuff I'm talking about after the picture.

June 2nd: Paul Joyce Documentaries

June 2nd kicks off the month with ARROW’s latest curation of Paul Joyce documentaries, this time looking at legendary filmmaker John Cassavetes, straight from the mouth of his friend and collaborator co-star Peter Falk (Columbo) in Out of the Shadows: The Films of John Cassavetes.

After a six year directing hiatus, Monte Hellman sat down with Paul Joyce and just talked for an hour while Joyce filmed. The result is Plunging on Alone: Monte Hellman’s Life In a Day.

June 2nd: the wild world of Ero Guro

What is Ero Guro? Well, the Japanese sub-genre of horror and pink films Ero Guro combines the erotic (ero) and the grotesque (guro) to deviant, decadent and unforgettable effect. ARROW’s Ero Guro collection features the unholy trinity of core Ero Guro films, Teruo Ishii’s Shogun’s Joy of Torture and Horrors of Malformed Men and Yasuzo Masumura’s Blind Beast, plus plenty more exciting, explicit and enticingly depraved delights to delve into.

Titles Include: Shogun’s Joy of Torture, Blind Beast, Irezumi.

June 6th: Warriors Two (US/CA)

After making his directorial debut with the intense The Iron-Fisted Monk and firmly solidifying his worth at Golden Harvest, Sammo Hung would be given more creative control behind the camera. Now able to inject more of his own personality, Hung would bring to life the more upbeat (yet only slightly less violent) Wing Chun cult classic: Warriors Two!

Predating the Ip Man tetralogy by three decades – as well as Hung’s own The Prodigal Son (starring Yuen Biao as the younger incarnation of Leung Tsan) by a few years – Warriors Two is one of the earliest films to authentically portray the teachings of Wing Chun while also delivering the kind of kinetic and pulse-pounding fights synonymous with the name Sammo Hung!

June 16th: Eli Roth Selects (UK/IRE/US/CA)

Splatter icon Eli Roth takes a stroll through the archives with Eli Roth Selects (UK/IRE/US/CA). “I absolutely love Arrow and have been a collector of their editions for years, and Arrow Player is the most streamed channel in my house. I’ve seen a lot of Select lists, and while I agree with them, I wanted to highlight some that people might have otherwise overlooked.”

Titles Include: Basket Case, Contamination, Madhouse.

June 19th: Toru Murakawa’s Game Trilogy (UK/IRE/US/CA)

Made at the end of the 1970s, Toru Murakawa’s Game Trilogy launched actor Yûsaku Matsuda as the Toei tough guy for a new generation. Matsuda was the definitive screen icon of 1980s until his career was tragically cut short by cancer at the age of 40, following his Hollywood debut in Ridley Scott’s Black Rain.

The Most Dangerous Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): In this career-defining triptych, Matsuda is Shohei Narumi, an ice cool hitman of few words, a steely trigger finger, and a heart of stone, hired in The Most Dangerous Game by a company bidding for a lucrative government air defence contract to take out the competition.

The Killing Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): Narumi finds himself caught in the midst of violent yakuza gang warfare, while his own brutal past catches up with him in the form of two beautiful women still bearing the emotional scars of his past assignments.

The Execution Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): Narumi falls for a mysterious saloon bar chanteuse who may or may not be part of the same, shadowy underworld organization as the rival hitmen he is employed to rub out. (I’m assuming the tough-guy way and not the sexy way)

June 23rd: SHAAAARKS!!!

Yessss, Cruel Jaws is coming to Arrow!

ARROW heads to the beach for some terror with shark attacks.

Cruel Jaws (US/CA): A huge shark terrorizes a beach in Florida, and the locals try everything to kill it.

Deep Blood (US/CA): Several young men have to stop an ancient native American evil in the form of a killer shark which is attacking a small beach community.

June 23rd: Sci-fi Stunners (UK/IRE/US/CA)

For the penultimate Season, ARROW boldly goes to the stars on June 23, seeking out new life and new cinema.

Sci-fi Stunners (UK/IRE/US/CA): There are other worlds than these. Come and explore them in this collection of cybernetic, planet-probing, time-travelling, cosmos-trotting, aliens-zapping, virtual and far-too-real adventures in Sci-fi Stunners – ARROW’s home world for the coolest Cult science-fiction films in the galaxy.

Titles Include: No Escape, Donnie Darko, Crimes of the Future.

Last but not least

Cosa Nostra Collection (UK/IRE/US/CA):

The most American of directors according to celebrated critic Paolo Mereghetti, Damiano Damiani (A Bullet for the General) nevertheless surveyed his own country’s mafia history unlike anyone before him, to critical and box office success.

Full of twists and a fascinating meta-commentary on cinema, Damiani points the camera at himself and the genre as he investigates the social impact of mafia violence, a fitting end to this survey of Damiani’s Cosa Nostra.

Titles Include: Day of the Owl, The Case is Closed, Forget It, How To Kill a Judge.

About ARROW:

From Arrow Films, a recognized world-leader in curation and creation, ARROW is a premium platform giving audiences an unparalleled viewing experience across multiple devices, so fans can explore the films and TV shows that the Arrow brand is famous for.

Specially curated by members of the ARROW team, ARROW is home to premium film and TV entertainment, exclusive new premieres, cutting edge cinema, international classics and cult favorites – such as the works of Lars Von Trier, Brian De Palma, Dario Argento, David Cronenberg and Park Chan-wook, and brand-new short films from both new and established filmmakers.

In the coming months, ARROW will be adding Oscar-winning hits, European classics, Asian cinema masterworks, rediscovered Westerns, offbeat gems and much more as part of ARROW’s international strategy to support and celebrate the medium of film.

For more information on ARROW and its titles, please contact: justin@justincookpr.com or visit https://www.arrow-player.com.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ArrowVideoUK

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