Room 33

Welcome back to our recap of American Horror Story, Killer Queens. After a long holiday I’m back at the Hotel, and ready to dive right back into this ghastly vacation destination.

We start this episode of American Horror Story Hotel with a flashback. The Countess, from decades before, is visiting a house that should be familiar to all my Killer Queens. That’s right, we’re at the Murder House.

It always comes back to that house, doesn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with that.

The Countess is seeking medical aid, but it’s far too late. What starts as abortion becomes a cesarian birth.

After that rather shocking start, we see our hero John in bed with his son, Holden. The vampire child asks John to follow him and leads him right to the coffins in the basement.

This, of course, is the last thing Alex wants. So she sets out to make John think he’s crazy. Along with Liz, she breaks up the glass coffins. Then, she tells John he called her raving. 

Ramona hunting, American Horror Story Hotel

As it turns out, the timing is great. Donovan and Ramona show up to murder the vampire children. But of course, they’re gone. But that’s not stopping Ramona. As it turns out, this isn’t the only plan Ramona has. She’s also got plans for The Countess’s son, who resides in room 33.

Rather than kill him, Ramona lets him escape. And, once again, her timing is the worst. Bartholomew manages to skitter through the hotel, and into the suitcase of our hero John. 

John’s not feeling much like a hero right now. After a weird, bloody sexual interaction with the two vacationers from the start of the season, he packs up and runs home. Good thing too, since Scarlett’s been stuck at a friend’s house for two days. Her mom, Alex, has abandoned her. Then, Bartholomew gets loose. John tries to shoot him, scaring the hell out of poor Scarlett.

Alex shows up to abandon her daughter some more. She sends Scarlett to stay with her grandmother, then heads back to the hotel, with the Countess’s baby in tow. The episode did a good job hiding Bartholomew’s face right up until the end. Sadly, though, it’s not nearly as scary as I was hoping it would be. I suppose nothing is ever as scary as we thought it was going to be. 

The Countess and her child, American Horror Story Hotel.

Except for life. That keeps getting worse.

This was a fun episode. I’m excited to see what the rest of the season has in store for us. Until next time, Killer Queens, don’t forget to check under the mattress whenever you’re staying in a hotel. You never know what might have been left behind there. 

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

Thanks for reading American Horror Story Hotel, Room 33. If you want to catch up on all of the seasons you can do so on Hulu.

Or buy season five now on Amazon.