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Back in my high school days, I had a best friend that was obsessed with four things – 80’s horror movies, 90’s soft-core adult-cuddle movies, Duran Duran’s John Taylor, and The Golden Girls. I appreciated two and politely tolerated the others. I’ll let you guess which. 

Thank you for being my tolerant room-mate…

So, during the times that I was forced to sit through heated Golden Girls discussions or the cable TV episodes, while I sometimes suppressed a chuckle, the main problem was that I didn’t really get it. I understood the concept – three ladies living together as seniors, and one with a miniature mother that looked like a puppet. I understood it was a sitcom, on a sound stage in front of a live studio audience. I guess that’s where it lost me. It just felt fake and static. Unlike goddess Jessica Fletcher, there wasn’t much drive, purpose, or action.

Unless you count eating cheesecake.

Betty White is always lovely, though

Which brings me to this month’s Dark Deviations: The Way We Met. Spoilers for Psycho.

The Plot:

The Golden Girls are scared because they finally watched Psycho together. In the kitchen, they review the movie – the shower scene (Blanche says something slutty, Dorothy points it out) and how it ends up being Norman Bates wearing his mother’s clothes (Rose says something about Minnesota).

Not a spoilers-free episode

They’re too scared to sleep, so they decide to eat cheesecake and it reminds them of the first time they met.

Needing two room-mates, Blanche put up ads. Rose and Dorothy answer them and move in. They fight over groceries. But once at home Rose speaks in length about a fish carnival while they eat cheesecake. Instant BFFs.

After the reverie, they feel better, and are about to go to bed when Sophia bursts into the room with a knife and gets an honest laugh from me.

Scared all over again, they decide to stay up and have another piece of cheesecake.

Totally a healthy mother/daughter relationship

Brain Roll Juice:

Oh, I am well-aware of the irony. Some of you might be thinking, “Are you kidding?! The Golden Girls had so many pressing issues during its time like ______ and _____! And this is from the writer that gave Surf Nazis Must Die its own f—ing opinion piece?!”

Yes, proudly, I am that writer.

And I understand that there’s a reason why the show lasted as long as it did and was as popular as it was/is – it resonates with its audience, with women, even young women in high school. I’ve recently seen magnets and t-shirts at Five and Below; it’s still relevant and beloved, or at least marketable. There’s a lot to be said for that. Its characters are iconic. The actresses were incredible. The writing could be very good and poignant.

It just wasn’t for me. 

Same with this episode. While it was interesting to see how they met, I also felt like it wasn’t needed. In a way, it kind of felt even more disappointing that it was basically they met through the 80’s equivalent of Craigslist. 

It’s even more strange that Psycho was the vessel that got us to that point, too. I could have been interesting if there had been hints of Psycho in the whole episode as a theme, to keep it together and to also express the fear of meeting and opening up to new people, but it didn’t do that. It was just a sloppy bookend.

They just argue for a while over room-mate shit and then the day is solved by cheesecake. 

It’s said they ate cheesecake as the Berlin Wall fell…

And they all lived happily ever after.

Bottom-line:

Watch if you’re a Golden Girls fan. Skip if you’re not. Although Sophia at the end was a pure delight.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason. Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.

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1 Comment

  1. Kristin Cleaves

    March 14, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    This is a great analysis! And the illustrations are incredible.

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Movies n TV

Anna (2013) To Some, Mindscape to Others, a Thriller Film

Anna (2013), also known as Mindscape, is a psychological thriller of a struggling memory detective named John.

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Anna (2013), also known as Mindscape, is a psychological thriller directed by Jorge Dorado. This R-rated directorial debut stars Mark Strong, Taissa Farmiga, Brian Cox, Saskia Reeves, Richard Dillane, and Indira Varma. As of this review, interested viewers can watch this film on VUDU, Hoopla, Plex Channel, Pluto TV, Roku Channel, Tubi TV, Amazon Prime, and more. Anna originally released in 2013, but it released in the US in 2014.

Struggling to return to his work as a memory detective, John (Mark Strong) pursues a new assignment. Anna (Taissa Farmiga) views John as her last chance to prove her innocence before she’s condemned to an asylum. As John searches through her memories, a tale of abuse and manipulation unravels.

A woman tinted red looks ahead with a knife in her hand. Her face obscured from the viewer. Behind her is a manor. Below reads "Mindscape"
Mindscape Cover of Anna (2013)

What I Like about Anna (2013)

Anna earned three nominations but no award recognition. From the Sitges–Catalonian International Film Festival, it earned a nomination for Best Motion Picture. The Goya Awards recognized Jorge Dorado with the 2014 nomination for Best New Director. Finally, Anna received a nomination from the Gaudí Awards for Best Art Direction.

Taissa Farmiga’s performance balances the line between suspicious and innocent, which is necessary for this unraveling mystery. It’s a delicate role, but Taissa Farmiga brings to life the material given.

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Anna‘s plot rotates around a new fringe science that’s slowly gaining traction. It’s less a dissection of this science and more a norm that Anna expects viewers to believe. It’s an interesting concept, though not unique. Still, it’s a nice additional dynamic to the mystery.

While not a horrifying film, it does deliver a mystery that keeps viewers engaged with enough hooks to add an extra layer before something gets stale. That mystery does linger in the mind in some respects but doesn’t haunt the viewer.

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Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Triggers

Despite Anna not depicting these moments, sexual assault remains a recurring element of the film. Little remains conclusive, with some suggestions that these are false allegations. Furthering this point, the film depicts Anna as a manipulator and flirt when some incidents suggest she’s a survivor of assault.

Derogatory language might upset some, but these remain brief moments. The use indicates a particular character’s immaturity, but I’ll raise the point regardless. Furthering this line of analysis is a moment where a bullied character is implied to be gay, but it’s likely just an insult.

While not inherently a trigger, this new field of science earns the claim of being somewhere between forensic science and lie detector tests, a massive gap that anything can fit in. It makes everything subjective when the film wants to claim absolute evidence. I can’t help but wonder what exploring that unreliability might look like, but that’s not this film.

A man shines a flashlight, looking confused at something unseen.
Mark Strong as John

What I Dislike about Anna (2013)

The biggest deal breaker for some is this concept of a teen mastermind. I won’t go into details about the mystery, but I am often fatigued with this idea of a teen femme fatale. While Anna gives enough mystery, it’s an overused trope.

Mark Strong’s performance delivers on the material, but John seems so easily manipulated for someone who does this as a profession. While out of practice, I don’t understand why he believes or doesn’t believe information. If Anna depicts John as overly critical or gullible, the film will have a more consistent character.

I assume there remains an understandable reason for the name change, but Anna appears as a common title for a film, spinning a series of some recognition. Mindscape also earns some recognition and competition, but it’s a more memorable title than a single noun name.

A kraken emerges from the ocean, attacking a ship. The tint suggests the image is a map icon.

Final Thoughts

Anna provides an interesting concept and mystery, but many shortcomings hinder the execution. Viewers eager for a psychological mystery with a drop of sci-fi, Anna delivers an engaging story. However, the market does provide competition, making it a tough film to recommend. 
3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Tips on Raising Evil from “The Demon of Parenthood”

The assessors investigate cursed toys in an attack against commerce, but Ben has a finger on the issue in “The Demon of Parenthood.”

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“The Demon of Parenthood” is the eighth episode of season 3 of Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.

The assessors investigate cursed toys in a terrible attack against commerce, but Ben (Aasif Mandvi) has a finger on the potential issue. David (Mike Colter) receives another task from the Entity. Kristen (Katja Herbers) learns more about her missing egg. Leland (Michael Emerson) invites Dr Boggs (Kurt Fuller) to the darker side of spirituality. Sheryl (Christine Lahti) takes her granddaughter to work.

Evil written in bold, a snake reaches for an apple. Beneath reads Season 3
Evil Season 3 Cover

What I Like about “The Demon of Parenthood”

I enjoy the espionage aspect of the Entity, pushing David to questionable grounds as he navigates what’s right against what’s demanded of him. While this plotline doesn’t reach its full potential, this episode highlights one of the more interesting opportunities of this idea. The Entity consistently interferes with the procedural case, possibly covering up abuse to support its objectives. This episode highlights this dynamic to perfection.

Kristen gets pulled in multiple directions, forced to question her trust in David, and faces a unique horror after learning about her missing egg. While I won’t dive deeper into this issue for this review, it’s safe to say this episode belongs to Kristen, and Katja Herbers delivers.
Her unsettling night terrors suggest an intuitive understanding of some of the manipulations around her, highlighting these moments to the viewer by proxy. Beyond these meta moments, the execution of these night terrors remains pleasantly unsettling.

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Evil: Season Three [DVD]
  • Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi (Actors)
  • Robert King (Director)
  • Audience Rating: NR (Not Rated)
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Evil: Season Three [Blu-Ray]
  • Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi (Actors)
  • Robert King (Director)
  • Audience Rating: NR (Not Rated)

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Among a constant trail of failures, Leland lingers in the background as he puts pieces together for his master plan. We don’t see the full scope of his vision yet, but the suspense it builds for future episodes earns its place. I’m interested to see how these plots will evolve, even if Leland’s luck seems to turn sour. Perhaps it’s because of this dynamic that the tension works so effectively.

With a shocking moment tied into this episode, “The Demon of Parenthood” creates one of the more haunting episodes. However, the greatest accomplishment in the episode is what it establishes for the future of the series. While not all these points follow through by the end of Evil, it’s still an episode that ripples across the show’s progression.

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Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Triggers

Without diving into too many details, spousal abuse and murder occur in the episode. This abuse might indicate a demonic influence, but such points remain speculation. 

A severed body part and some gore stand out in this episode. It hardly earns enough attention from fans of gory horror, but the squeamish should tread carefully toward the end.

A woman emerges from her bed, looking shocked. The laptop on her lap is the only source of light.
Horrible Realizations at Night

What I Dislike about “The Demon of Parenthood”

Many dropped ideas seem genuinely interesting, building to some potential development that receives little payoff. Missing these opportunities will never feel satisfying. While some changes are understandable, it creates holes in the narrative. For example, Dr. Boggs’ dark seduction slows in pace, becoming implied or withheld from the audience soon after “The Demon of Parenthood.” These experiences often adapt the concept of evil that the show seeks to bring to life.

Sheryl’s compliance with Leland’s plan still seems underdeveloped as a concept, especially with how far she takes it in this episode. While later episodes add a different perspective, I can’t help but feel these are retcons or concepts not thoroughly thought out.

A kraken emerges from the ocean, attacking a ship. The tint suggests the image is a map icon.

Final Thoughts

“The Demon of Parenthood” progresses the plot and delivers some genuinely haunting moments. While a retrospective assessment does note many missed opportunities, the episode stands up beyond these missed opportunities. 
4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

You’ll Have a Bloody Good Time with this Eternal (2004) Health Tip

When Raymond Pope’s wife disappears, he follows the trail. But each lead points him to the Eternal beauty of Elizabeth Kane.

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Eternal (2004) is a horror thriller written and directed by Wilhelm Liebenberg and Federico Sanchez. This R-rated film stars Caroline Néron, Victoria Sanchez, Conrad Pla, and Ilona Elkin. As of this review, it is available for Amazon Prime members with renting options from Spectrum on Demand.

When Raymond Pope’s (Conrad Pla) wife disappears, he’s swept into the mystery of Elizabeth Kane (Caroline Néron). As his investigation becomes increasingly bizarre, bodies pile up and point to Raymond Pope. Will he clear his name, or will this bloody rampage drown him?

At the top of the poster reads Eternal. Below are three clear images. The closest to the viewer is a person in a mask. To the above left of the viewer, there is a female figure emerging from a bath. Below that are two women looking at the viewer, keeping close to each other.
Eternal Poster

What I Like about Eternal

While all of the performances add to the film, Eternal thrives on the charisma and mystique of Caroline Néron’s Elizabeth. She enchants her targets, lowering their defenses until that final moment.

Conrad Pla’s Raymond Pope also requires a delicate approach to succeed. The sleazy and hypocritical detective seems genuinely concerned for his wife (at least initially) and sells that concern. While far from an easy character to root for, the audience understands him and the danger he faces.

There’s a heavy erotic thriller angle that Eternal delivers on. I’ll linger on this point in later sections, but it certainly knows how to build tension within a single scene or between characters. These moments don’t feel forced, and while they often target a male audience, interesting dynamics rise above general exploitative content, if only slightly.

This seems to be a passion project between the creators, Wilhelm Liebenberg and Federico Sanchez. This passion lingers in the moments to deliver something unique, if not without its flaws. The film doesn’t hold back, a point that fluctuates between negative and positive depending on the situation. Regardless, it holds a charm in that commitment that’s hard to replicate without passion behind the scenes.

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Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Triggers

The film labels itself as “Inspired by True Events,” which only relates to the general discussion of Elizabeth Báthory. It’s also worth mentioning that, much like Vlad Dracula, her story remains heavily dominated by modern interpretations. I won’t pretend to hold exclusive knowledge of these historical figures, but cultural interpretation reduces realism. The claim means little to nothing.

The predatory queer trope applies to Eternal, with little complexity to challenge the point as the violence often targets women. It’s important to note that Elizabeth acts as a femme fatale in general, but the targets remain clear. However, this film did earn a moment of recognition from the Glitter Awards (a clip was used in 2006), which might suggest the standout performance of Caroline Néron’s Elizabeth earns back some goodwill.

A woman sits on another woman, holding a glass of wine. Both women look at an unseen stranger
Elizabeth (Caroline Néron) and Irina (Victoria Sanchez) Drink Wine and Plot Crime

What I Dislike about Eternal

The erotic thriller holds a stigma that Eternal doesn’t challenge. Elizabeth remains a clear femme fatale with a slightly supernatural twist. While the performance executes this character perfectly, viewers likely know if this remains an interest or a tired cliche for themselves.

While most of Raymond’s acts make sense for the character, I hold issue with the end. Without going into too many details, he is asked to do one thing to protect himself and does the opposite for no reason. Perhaps this indicates supernatural influence, but such a claim lingers in headcanon.

The film ends ambiguously, which hardly seems fitting given the evidence and weakens the overall film. A definitive ending, or something moderately more definitive, would strengthen Eternal.

Final Thoughts

Eternal’s major obstacle in executing its erotic thriller is that of tired tropes in the modern era. If one looks past these dated points, there’s a haunting thriller that can meet moments of excellence. The plot falls short in many areas towards the end of the film. Ultimately, if a vampire-esque thriller interests you, Eternal certainly adds its perception to the niche but in a familiar form.
3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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