Move over Jerry Lewis, we’ve got a new king of worthy causes. Joe Bob Briggs brings the heat enough to melt even Doc Payne’s black heart with his season finale of the Last Drive-In (TLDI) with Joe Bob Briggs.

If you haven’t seen the show before, Joe Bob Briggs is the wise movie sage who is equal parts Wild Turkey and Lone Star Beer. Hailing from deep into the heart of Texas (ok, how many of you heathens clapped?), Joe Bob’s (seemingly) two missions in life are ‘numero uno’ to bring the world a joy and understanding of horror, and, ‘numero two-o’, to bring back the bolo tie. The first mission appears to be a complete success and the second is still too close to call.

As every review show needs a counterbalance, Joe Bob finds his in the form of Darcy the Mail Girl. The perfect counterbalance can take a diamond of a show and Will it into the perfection of princess cut beauty. Darcy provides the perfect foil to Joe Bob. She’s the Crosby to his Hope; the DLR to his Van Halen; the OJ to his Toast (no, not THAT OJ! oh, I miss Norm). Although they can be worlds apart on topics such as Halloween III (my theory is they made the new Halloween trilogy so people see Halloween III in a better light. I call it the ‘Star Wars effect’), they align where it counts. I have never seen such a kinder, compassionate, and giving duo. They are what is sorely underrepresented on this spinning rock of ours.

The Show

The show starts with the countdown graphic and hits full sonics with John Brennan’s earwig of a theme for The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs. The introduction hits like smooth jazz (sorry, Small Hands, I said smooth Jazz. JAZZ!) and we rock on from there. All the Mutants know the game–a talk, a drive-in total with various Fu, a few jokes, and a lot of heart. This show has introduced me to some of the best horror (Train to Busan) and some of the worst (looking at you Cannibal Holocaust. Note to producers: if you are killing animals for ‘realism’ then how come you aren’t snuffing the actors too? Pussies!). These are movies, for good or ill, that many of us may have not known existed let alone seen if it weren’t for Joe Bob Briggs.

In this, his show brings us together as a family of horror aficionados (and whatever the Spanish word for aficionados is). A family that truly cares for its members (and even some of the other body parts, too). I’ve been around various fandoms and I have to say that the Mutant Fam is largest group of the most genuine people who truly care for each other since Hereditary.

Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together for Goodness!

The season finale of TLDI has, traditionally, been a charity event. As you know, HauntedMTL is big on charity so to see The Last Drive-In going all in on some of our favorite charities, it became a synergistic movement to join in the tweet-a-thons, the bidding, and the general donation drives that they push forward.

Give Give Give

You know what a great gift would be for any horror fan? Shudder. You know what an awesome gift for any horror fan? The Lost Drive-In. But how about a truly amazeballs out of this world masked singer is rigged! I MEAN JERICHO LOST? HOW THE HECK? Errmm…I digress. I meant to say, ‘a truly amazeballs out of this world gift for any true horror fan?’ ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING from this set of auction-for-charity items. Click on through to the other side (of the internet where you can bid on things for a good cause). Hey! Maybe the auction isn’t your speed. No problemo! We’ve got you covered, Mutant Fam! Check out these Fright-Rags that go for charity! Jim has a few from last year and he has to say these hoodies are dang comfy and warm. Don’t believe me? Check them out yourself!

Sure sure, we get it. Maybe you’re more zen than me and materialistic things aren’t your boat floating device. How about putting a lil’ bit into a good cause directly? Here are the links to the ‘4’ charities of that night. All of them worthy of some dough-ray-me, if you get my drift.

The from Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together (ghoultidegettogether.com)

• Jeannette Rankin Foundation – They give a special kind of scholarship for women over 35 who don’t have a college degree but are too poor to go to college, making it possible for them to stop working long enough to get a degree and re-start their lives on a new track.
• March of Dimes – A longstanding and celebrated charity organization, their mission is birth defects. Their original mission was the eradication of polio.
• Thoroughbred Aftercare Alliance – They fund hundreds of local organizations that are involved in taking care of racehorses after their careers are over, including turning them into therapy horses and providing the medical care needed for animals that are frequently retired because of injury.
• Motion Picture & Television Fund –  This is the non-profit that runs the Woodland Hills, California, retirement home for actors founded by Mary Pickford 100 years ago.

The Reason Why Joe Bob and Darcy Matter

The reason why we (HauntedMTL) push Shudder and all things Joe Bob so much is because we believe in them. We believe in them as people. I cannot accurately express how much Sean and Craig have helped us find our voice. I can never thank Joe Bob and Darcy enough for having been instrumental in allowing us to grow that voice. It’s with that grace that The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs brings the old and new horror fans into one place. A place where we can be ourselves. A place where we are entertained by a collection of out of this world cosplay from Darcy, killer knowledge drops by Joe Bob, and some out of this world guests from the ‘who’s who’ in the horror world. Face it, Shudder might as well rename itself to ‘The Last Drive in with Joe Bob Briggs, and also special guests’.

What’s Mutant Fam all about?

Fam is a hashtag that gets thrown around an awful lot (looking at you Kardashians! Lest we forget Bajor!!). One thing that really sticks with me is that Joe Bob and Darcy lead by example. I’ve been around a lot in different fandoms or BTS or weird cults that make you wear those uncomfortable rubber clothing and fornicate through a hole in the sheet whilst riding a seesaw that’s pushed by no fewer than 13 little people, including at least four rotating members of Little Feat…errm..sorry..where was I?

Right! The Mutant Fam! I can tell you one thing — it is damn rare to have entertainers who are as loving and caring towards their base and each other as Joe Bob and Darcy. One of the first lessons you learn in entertainment is ‘nobody is really your friend’. Jon Stewart taught me that (for clarity: in an advice way not by doing anything bad) years ago. It held true, more or less. We are in a consumer industry and sometimes that thing being consumed is you.

One more time, with feeling…

I have to say something about the letters that Darcy gives Joe Bob at the end of the show. Sometimes the letters are funny; sometimes they are touching; they are always heartfelt. The latest episode was no exception.

I won’t go much into what the letters were about. If you want to hear Joe Bob read them, and I encourage everyone to do so, you can check them out at the end of the special. They were moving. It was a combination of what was said and how it was said. The words in print found the perfect orator in Joe Bob. His genuine concern for people he has either met but briefly or not at all is an ingredient usually missing in this world. In a world that seems unable to communicate with itself, we find solace in a man from Texas telling us, ‘the drive-in will never die’; a motto easily translated into ‘we love you all.’

The letters at the end of the last show put a lot into focus for me. I’ve lived a (perhaps turbulent but) charmed life. Joe Bob demonstrates a connection with his fans through those letters that makes me grateful to be connected even if via socials (Hey, baby, your Insta or mine?) to the show and its wonderful fan base. In this, we find each other as we need be nothing more than ourselves. The Mutant Fam is truly a family.

The Score

I’ve done a podcast on this; I’ve plugged them in almost every show I’ve ever been on (much to the chagrin of my manager); and I’ve even (so far in the lead, at least) bought a pair of used panties and some wood from them. The score for this one? Prefect five out of five Cthulhus. Now, run over to that screen and click on some goodies for your loved ones. Get a few hoodies. Maybe a shot glass or twelve (after these past few years we need a little release). Maybe you’re not in the financials to donate as you wish. Hugs are a currency all but forgotten in this post-pandemic pandemonium (hey, kids! That’s called alliteration! Go impress an English Prof or your next Tinder match with that one).

Love on ya.