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Welcome back, boys and ghouls, to Haunted MTL’s Notes from The Last Drive-In. This week Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl get a little German with a pair of horror classics. Jawhol! We have been treated to 1922’s Nosferatu and 1979’s Nosferatu the Vampyre.

But how was the show this week? Did the episode’s theme click a bit better than the previous two episodes? Let’s find out with this review and recap of Shudder’s The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs, season 4, episode 4.

Nosferatu (1922)

Nosferatu is F.W. Murnau’s 1922 vampire horror film that loosely adapts Bram Stoker’s epistolary novel Dracula. The film is a silent German expressionist horror film that stars Max Schreck, Greta Schröder, and Gustav von Wangenheim. The film, set in 1838, follows estate agent Thomas Hutter (Gustav von Wangenheim), who travels to Transylvania to secure the final documents allowing for client Count Orlock (Max Schreck). Orlock seeks to move to Wisborg into a house across the street from Hutter’s, where his wife Ellen (Greta Schröder) awaits his return.

Poster for German release of Nosferatu (1922)

In many ways, the idea of reviewing Nosferatu is pointless because the film has been dissected and evaluated to undeath for over a century now. Thanks to copyright law, the film is widely distributed and can even be found, fully embedded, in its own Wikipedia entry. I am not sure how much I could add to the discourse surrounding the film beyond what has already been said for a hundred years.

I do not think Nosferatu is a perfect film. It can be pretty close at times, but the film we see these days reconstructs something we’ll never be able to truly experience again, cobbled together from salvaged prints. Florence Stoker’s irreparable harm to the preservation of the art is well documented. As a result, we’ll never quite capture the fundamental, ethereal experience of what Nosferatu was. Nosferatu isn’t quite a Dracula adaptation, and yet it is, occupying a strange and uncanny space between adaptation and parody that does not entirely succeed in either direction. However, the middleness of the film allows it to work as well as it does. The story may not be as complex as Stoker’s own, but neither is it as messy. This is the Laconic Dracula, boiled down to the essentials, warts and all.


The character of Thomas Hutter is useless in the film beyond being a plot device. The real struggle is between Ellen and Orlock, but even that goes a metaphysical route that is somewhat sloppily handled. With that said, Schröder and Shreck are excellent in their respective roles. While the story has many weaknesses, it is the elements in telling the story where the film makes its mark.

F.W. Murnau’s direction is terrific. His work with his cinematographers Fritz Arno Wagner and Günther Krampf resulted in a film that, despite its antiquity, feels modern in so many regards, codifying cinematography and staging we still see centuries later. Cross-cutting alone in this film is impressive in what it does for the pacing.

Of course, the film still occupies that rough, transitionary period between the film as its form and the film as a form of recorded play; some performances are overly broad. Some shots are treated flat, stage-like, such as the finale in Ellen’s bedroom. But these are the last vestiges of a bygone era.

I could talk about many aspects of Nosferatu, but it’s all been done before to such a degree that I can probably link this NY Times article that would cover a lot of what I would say.

Joe Bob-servations on Nosferatu (1922)

Joe Bob’s approach to the night was more of a history crash course than usual. This was even down to the fashion choices of Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl, decked out for a time in Neidermyer clothing, only for Joe Bob to slider progressively further into “pimp” as the night progressed.


If the night had a phrase representing the tone, it would have been “Fuck Florence Stoker,” given her role in nearly wiping away a cinema classic from history. The host segments revolved around the history of German film, a heady topic for most nights. We also dove into Joe Bob’s views on German Expressionism and the film’s legacy. With that said, Joe Bob’s thoughts on whether Nosferatu is a German Expressionist film seem counter to the established view. I wonder if he may be going against the grain to ruffle the feathers of film nerds.

The skit involving a silent film-style seance to contact the cast of the film goes predictably off the rails with the addition of John Brennan and concludes with Darcy biting the neck of Joe Bob. So it was what you would expect for the Drive-In‘s take on a silent film, goofy and affectionate. It wasn’t the best skit of the night, either, which was most impressive about the night as a whole. The best skit belonged to the second film of the night: Nosferatu the Vampyre.

Final Thoughts on Nosferatu (1922)

A cinema classic that is more than a movie, Nosferatu is a captivating work by F.W. Murnau that, despite some issues, still stands as a beautiful and creepy film 100 years after release. The fact we can even enjoy an approximation of the original experience today is not something one should take for granted.

Joe Bob gave the film four stars, which is well deserved. The film is every bit as praiseworthy as it gets. I feel some elements of the film, holdovers from earlier conceptions of what film was, that make Nosferatu a transitionary piece, and some of those legacy elements left in place run counter to the innovation of the film overall. I would give Nosferatu four-and-a-half out of five Cthulhus. 4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

Best Line: “Nosferatu. Does this word not sound like the midnight call of the Bird of Death? Do not utter it, or the images of life will fade – into pale shadows and ghostly dreams will rise from your heart and feed your Blood.” – Title Card

Still from Nosferatu (1922) depicting Orlock
Hey pal, vampires work just a bit differently in Germany.

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Werner Herzog did something that many would consider unthinkable in 1979, and no, it was not remaking 1922’s Nosferatu; it was making a better version. Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (Nosferatu: Phantom of the Night), known as Nosferatu the Vampyre today, is one of those rarified films where the remake outshines the original. Written and directed by Werner Herzog, this German horror film is a stylized remake of F.W. Murnau’s original and seemingly amalgamated the texts of Nosferatu and Dracula into something arguably different. The film stars Klaus Kinski, Isabelle Adjani, Bruno Ganz, and Roland Topor.

Poster for Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

The plot is similar to that of the 1922 film but expanded upon with a new ending and extended sequences of travel.

And yes, while there is a German version and an English version, I suggest the German version. Subtitles will not hurt you.

So, this may be a controversial statement. I prefer this remake of Nosferatu to the original, and I think what Werner Herzog achieved in the film is faithful to the spirit and structure of the 1922 film and filled it in, adding and embellishing in the right spots to make the movie feel more whole. I am sure this will get me in trouble, but Nosferatu (1922) is the outline, whereas Nosferatu the Vampyre is the final draft. The film takes more directly from Dracula than the original, using the actual names of characters from the novel. Instead of Count Orlock, we have Count Dracula and our Jonathan Harker. Not everything is one-to-one; we get a combination of the characters of Lucy and Mina from the novel as a way to condense the film.

Frequent Herzog collaborator Jörg Schmidt-Reitwein’s cinematography is outstanding. The interplay of light and darkness within the film unsurprisingly reflects the struggle of the humans against the demonic vampire. It gives the film the shadowy appearance as a throwback to the high contrast of the 1922 prints. The film also has a strong eye toward places, with the natural landscapes of the Balkans serving as a stunning and creepy indication of how out of his depth Harker is. The city of Wismar in the film is often torn between being a lovely sight of civilization and one of utter menace; all it takes is a change of angle and lighting. The castle, an external ruin but an internal maze, becomes a character itself.

The score, handled by musical collective Popol Vuh is eerie and fitting and plays wonderfully set to the intercutting journeys between Harker and Dracula. The usage of the Georgian folk song “Tsintskaro” may not make sense at first, but when heard in the film becomes clear.


The performances across the board are excellent; in the time since Nosferatu, acting in the film had become more naturalistic. Klaus Kinski is fantastic as Count Dracula. His moments of conflict with Isabelle Adjani’s Lucy, a carryover from the original film, are some of the most compelling aspects of the film. Even the third wheel, Harker, in this version, has a somewhat more active role in the movie but never quite steps in the way of the focus: Dracula and Lucy. Hell, even the ESP-type connection between them makes a little more sense.

Joe Bob-servations on Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

There were a great many anecdotes and jokes about the wacky world of Werner Herzog during the host segments. All of them were very much appreciated by me, as someone who has a great deal of fascination with the filmmaker. This inevitably culminated with a rather epic and long skit full of Herzogisms about the nature of beer, the drive-in, and the universe itself. Austin Jennings did a fantastic job with his Herzog impression and the direction of the associated imagery. It was an incredible moment and possibly my favorite skit on the show ever.

The anecdotes on Herzog and the making of the film were, of course, fantastic. The “frenemy” relationship between Herzog and Klaus Kinski resulted in several hilarious and strange stories shared during the night, including the possible desecration of real mummies. In truth, Herzog should be a guest on the show. It doesn’t even need to be one of his movies. A conversation between Herzog and Briggs would be legendary.

Final Thoughts on Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu the Vampyre is a richer film than Nosferatu. It fills the gaps within the original and uses the evolving language of film to do what I think F.W. Murnau would have done had the technology and understanding of cinema of 1979 been available to him in 1922. This might best be exemplified by the film’s opening credits, depicting mummies. They have little to do with the film itself, but if we’re aiming for Expressionism, the howling expressions of the desiccated dead do a lot to set the movie’s tone as a whole.

I’ve not even mentioned that this film has recorded dialogue as opposed to the silent nature of the 1922 version because I believe a silent-film edit of Herzog’s version would be on par with or better than Murnau’s.


Joe Bob Briggs gave the film four stars. I agree. I would give Nosferatu the Vampyre five out of five Cthulhus. 5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

Best Line: “The absence of love is the most abject pain.” – Count Dracula

Still from Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
Klaus Kinski’s Dracula seems a sadder and more pathetic figure than Schreck’s from 1922.

Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals

We have our official totals from Shudder, as usual.

As for our totals, we have:

  • 1 Joe Bob Cosplay
  • 2 Darcy Cosplay
  • 7 Crash landings by Murnau
  • 4 utterances of “thee-ate-er”
  • 11,000 Rats
  • $896 Thousand Budget
  • Giggling Madmen
  • Crew Butchery
  • Actor Blinding
  • Rat Die Fu
  • Seance Fu
  • Pimp Joe Bob
  • Gratuitous Herzogisms
  • Pimp Shoes
  • Vampire Joking
  • Turtle Joking
A still from The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs S4E4
Fashion icon Joe Bob Briggs works it.

Episode Score for The Last Drive-In: S4E4 – Nosferatu and Nosferatu the Vampyre

This is one of the best nights we’ve had on the show. Easily in the top five for me. I know I have been a bit critical of the theming of the past two episodes, but the show bounced back excellently this week. It was almost as though this pairing was tailored specifically for me and my style of vampire story. Overall it was an amazing night, and Joe Bob, Darcy, John, and Austin assembled something special.

It was a fitting tribute to one of cinema’s earliest and most distinct monsters, and he is still as scary as he was a century ago. I would give this episode five out of five Cthulhus. 5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

With that, we are done until next time. Please join us again next week for another review and recap. What did you think, though? Why not share your thoughts in the comments about the show and the two films shown. Did you have a favorite?


Please join us on Twitter next Friday as we live-tweet with the rest of the Mutant Fam during The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs

Want more of the Vampyre?

Please do yourself a favor and use our sponsored link to pick up a copy of Shadow of the Vampire (2001), an excellent companion piece to the films covered in this article.

David Davis is a writer, cartoonist, and educator in Southern California with an M.A. in literature and writing studies.

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Movies n TV

The Beach House, a Film Review

The Beach House (2019) is a body horror film directed and written by Jeffrey A. Brown starring Liana Liberato, Noah Le Gros, and Jake Weber.



The Beach House (2020) is a body horror film directed and written by Jeffrey A. Brown. This film stars Liana Liberato, Noah Le Gros, Jake Weber, and Maryann Nagel. As of this review, this film is only available on Shudder.

Desperate to rekindle their strained love, Emily (Liana Liberato) and Randall (Noah Le Gros) escape to a beach getaway. They soon learn to find that family friends of Randall’s father, Mitch (Jake Weber), and Jane (Maryann Nagel), also had a similar idea. After getting used to each other, a mysterious fog engulfs the town. Unfortunately, they realize too late the danger they find themselves in.

A woman with her mouth agape. Behind her is a dark background. Next to her reads, "The Beach House." Below is a scenic beach with a mountain in the distance.
The Beach House Alternative Cover Art

What I Like

Body horror gets under my skin, and The Beach House certainly lives up to the standard. There’s something magical about creatures terraforming your body to their preferred environment, turning humans into nothing more than conscious prisoners in their own flesh. While I wouldn’t consider this film the most traumatic or unsettling example, it utilizes wonderfully grotesque scenes.

Aside from the body horror, the film drops a few Cosmic Horror–or Lovecraftian–vibes that go together perfectly. Another favored genre of mine, this combination ensures the odds are overwhelmingly against our human leads.

Beyond the grotesque, visuals might not overwhelm but certainly succeed in their goal. Several scenes provide an intentionally tranquil experience that contrasts with the grotesques and improves their effectiveness.


In terms of performance, each actor hits their mark. While some roles require less effort, each contributes to the plot as intended. The standout performance goes to Liana Liberato’s Emily, who acts as co-lead. She simply has the most to work with and lives up to the part.

White background, rubber stamp with disclaimer pressed against the white background.
Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Trigger Warnings

As “body horror” should indicate, this film will hit hard for the more squeamish viewer. While horror by nature has some amount of grotesque, body horror brings that grotesque to the next level. While I don’t particularly find The Beach House hitting harder than its competition, it certainly respects its chosen genre.

Woman looks shocked or horrified. Bushes or trees make up the background.
Liana Liberato as Emily

What I Dislike or Considerations

A few scenic montages may hit or miss depending on your interpretation. While I have my own theories, that speculation goes beyond the scope of this review. Many of these scenes overlap more philosophical conversations and musings that may annoy or add layers. This strategy seems a common practice in Cosmic Horror, which forces characters to rationalize the irrational.

It’s hard for me to understand how secretive or known this event is supposed to be in the film’s world. Individuals know something outside of the town, with evidence implying governmental knowledge. This information creates a contrivance–perhaps, even a plot hole–because the characters had to reach this isolated town without any opposition.

One of the visuals didn’t exactly grab me. While I won’t go into too much detail, an effect looked too visually similar to a common animal that barely survives rain. It’s hard to be threatened by that. It also doesn’t exactly match up with some of the other visuals. Even the creatures that look similar to it still look different enough to provide a more alien assumption.

There are moments when the infected chase our main characters by crawling at them. While the context works, with injured characters helping to sell them, I can’t help but find these scenes amusing as opposed to frightening. Yes, it’s certainly visually different from the plethora of zombies out there, but it’s also less frightening than zombies that leisurely walk to their targets.

Final Thoughts

The Beach House combines cosmic and body horror to create an uncomfortable film that tests its characters. For those who enjoy these genres, it will certainly entertain you, but I doubt it will frighten you. I imagine the mood to watch it again might strike me, but I’m not entirely certain it will stand the test of time. 3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

If this movie suits your fancy and you want more, Honeymoon seems an appropriate recommendation.


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Movies n TV

Every Secret Thing, a Film Review

Every Secret Thing (2014) is a crime thriller directed by Amy J. Berg and written by Nicole Holofcener, based on Laura Lippman’s novel.



Every Secret Thing (2014) is a crime thriller directed by Amy J. Berg and written by Nicole Holofcener. This R-rated film stars Diane Lane, Danielle Macdonald, Dakota Fanning, and Elizabeth Banks. Based on Laura Lippman’s novel of the same name, the film adaptation is accessible through MAX and DirecTV.

When a little girl goes missing, Nancy Porter (Elizabeth Banks) spirals into an all too familiar tale. As pressure mounts, Alice Manning (Danielle Macdonald) and Ronnie Fuller (Dakota Fanning) become the leading suspects. The strained frenemies unravel under the attention and reminders of their shared past.

Laura Lippman stands out at the top of the cover, over a black background. Every Secret Thing appearing over a pool
Every Secret Thing Book Cover

What I Like

The film unravels in a non-chronological structure but makes it easy for the viewer to follow. It helps that the age difference clearly divides the younger actors, who change actors. One casting choice resembles their older counterpart, and the acting reflects a strong direction for their shared role.

Unreliable narration remains expertly communicated with scenes that change perspectives depending on whose perspective we view them from. This choice adds a reason to view the film twice, providing extra ambiguity for some of these events.

The camera gets up close and personal to an uncomfortable degree, which almost certainly presses the actors’ performances. This choice places the viewer in the character’s perspective and limits us from others’ perspectives to add extra credence to these biases.


Every Secret Thing provides a spiraling mystery that unravels with several twists and turns. Assuming the novel provided the outline, this film executes these points and keeps a consistently engaging experience throughout the runtime.

White background, rubber stamp with disclaimer pressed against the white background.
Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Trigger Warnings

Child abuse and neglect remain the central plot points of Every Secret Thing. Little of this abuse appears in scenes, but there is no escaping the danger children are in throughout the film.

Self-harm and suicide are shown throughout the film (once in the case of suicide) through one specific character. It isn’t glorified or romanticized nor addressed with particular sensitivity. For those sensitive to these subjects, it might be triggering.

Racism, the assumed motive for the bi-racial victims, plays a small role in the film’s narrative. However, character motives remain more complex, but going further spoils some elements. This film decision does create the reality that bi-racial children are the victims of child neglect and abuse in the film with little additional context. It does invite uncomfortable speculation, but speculation it would be.

Sexual assault is another concern for viewers, specifically statutory rape. This issue seems particularly mismanaged, considering the survivor remains an antagonist. One can be both survivor of assault and an antagonist of a film without needing to discredit the assault. While little appears of this issue, and the manipulation angle can indicate a perspective shift, it’s hard to refute how the film wants to represent this attack.

Daughter resting on her mother's shoulder. Both are in the back of a car.
Diane Lane as Helen and Danielle Macdonald as Alice

What I Dislike

Loosely tied to the above point, one character seems mentally off and purposely so. This point doesn’t inherently create an issue, but there seems to be a choice to make this character a mastermind. Perhaps this is better addressed in the book, but the execution is far from perfect here.

A newspaper montage reveals essential information which feels oddly misplaced. Practically the entire setup for the film appears through this montage, which creates the necessity to read these headlines in the minimal time given.


As a horror, nothing but the events are haunting. Children being abused or kidnapped always haunts, but the terror of this remains secondary to the mystery. While the mystery is nice, this film won’t particularly scare the seasoned horror fan.

Final Thoughts

Every Secret Thing unravels a mystery of opportunism, selfishness, and deception. While the movie won’t haunt the viewer, it certainly unravels a mystery that shocks them. The nuanced and deceptive characters add a layer of engagement that creates a unique experience, but I doubt this movie will linger in my mind.
2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Quid Pro Woe



We’ve now reached episode six of Tim Burton’s Wednesday. And after the last episode, this one did not disappoint.

We start with Wednesday attempting to contact Goody Addams. Last episode, if you’ll recall, Morticia explained the difference between a psychic dove and a raven. Since Goody Addams was the last raven psychic in the family line, it’s got to be her that trains Wednesday. 

But her seance is a failure, and Wednesday is interrupted by a magazine note shoved under the door. It says to meet someone at a crypt for answers. 

When she gets there, it turns out that her friends have put together a surprise birthday party for her. Before she can cut the cake, however, she has a vision.

Jenna Ortega in Wednesday

Goody Addams tells her that she must find a specific gate. After some investigation, Wednesday discovers it’s the gate to the old Gates house. 

Wednesday goes to investigate, but she isn’t the only one. She is nearly discovered by Mayor Walker. He is also investigating the Gates family, even though they’re all reported to be dead. He leaves a message for Sheriff Galpin and is almost immediately run over by a car.

This incident is enough to get Wednesday’s town villages revoked. Though this seems like an empty punishment since the whole school is on lockdown. Someone burned Fire Will Rain on their front lawn. 

Wednesday isn’t one for believing the rules apply to her. She has it in her head that she’s meant to save Nevermore Academy, probably from whatever descendent of Crackstone who’s still around. So she has no problem lying to Enid and Tyler and convincing them to help her sneak off campus and explore the Gates house further.

This, of course, is an incredibly informative trip. The kids find a hidden altar to Crackstone, as well as the missing body parts from the monster’s victims. They also find evidence that someone’s been staying in the house. Someone who’s staying in what looks like a little girl’s room.

Before they can find anything more, the monster finds them. They barely escape, and go to the sheriff with what they find. 


Of course, the house has been cleared out by the time Sheriff Galpin arrives. Furious that his son was almost killed, he tells Wednesday to stay away from him.

Because that always works, right?

Galpin isn’t the only one angry. Enid is fed up with the way Wednesday has been treating her. And so she leaves their room to bunk with someone else, leaving Wednesday alone. 

This episode was well done. The discoveries at the house were exciting, and I’m almost sure I know who’s behind the murders at this point. Overall, this was a good ramp-up to the season finale. 

Jenna Ortega in Wednesday.

Finally, this episode did something I was worried just wasn’t going to happen. And for that alone, it deserves praise.

Wednesday has been incredibly selfish and inconsiderate since the first episode. She’s been rude and demanding towards Thing. She’s ignored her friends’ needs and emotions while insisting they put themselves in danger for her investigation. She has respected no one’s boundaries, even while other people have at least tried to respect hers.


And now, it’s finally come back to bite her. All of the people who have been doing their best to show her kindness and support are finally done with her bullshit.

Yes, this is a good thing! Characters are best when they’re allowed to learn and grow. When they don’t come to us flawless. When they mess up and learn from it. Especially for a show aimed at kids, this is essential.

If you’d asked me at the beginning of the season if this character was going to experience honest character growth, I’d have assured you it would never happen. Much to my surprise, it’s happening. I hope that Wednesday is going to come out of this a better person. With two episodes left in the season, there’s plenty of time for that.  4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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