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Welcome to another episode of Brannyk talks about Small Town Monsters. We’ve explored aliens giving boo boos to cows, totally Bigfoot, a big ol’ stinky doggo, your tea-spilling ghost-witch, and an alien Bigfoot with a hankering for a good peanut butter sandwich. We have a new screener from Small Town Monsters!

So what’s on the dance card this time?

None other but the Joisey Devil himself. You know, the one who has a girlfriend made from cake ALLEGEDLY (no judging).

The Plot:

We’re back to the movie-within-the-documentary style, but sadly lacking our favorite dark cowboy, Lyle Blackburn.

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Journeying into the Pine Barrens, folklorists, historians and locals weave the tale of this illusive devil. Back to its unearthly beginnings as a cursed child, or perhaps a wayward Quaker. Digging up its haunting past and the wake its legend has made.

Thoughts:

Yesssss, we’re back to our “Feature Film” segments like in Momo (and to a lesser extent The Bell Witch). Is the acting good? Not…really. Is it precious and beloved? Yes. Do I want to quote it to people who won’t understand it?

a picture of a kid saying, "you suck, Jake! You suck!"
You tell me

BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE is the same vibe as Momo, using both the legend, but also a film within the documentary to tell the story. So does it work as well as Momo’s did?

Yes and no.

There are a few missing elements that were in Momo that were missing for BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE, such as a real feel for the small towns around the area and the people who live there. I never got a true sense of the area or the locals like in Momo or in other Small Town Monsters series. The drone shots were beautifully done, but I would have liked to see some more local sites connected to the Devil.

On the other hand, the quality of the interviewees was incredibly good and they were very engaging to watch. The featured interviewees spoke with passion about the Jersey Devil, but also had a thoughtful knowledge and reverence. Not just for the devil, but for folklore and Americana in general.

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One thing of note is that the Jersey Devil in BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE is a scary CGI monster and not the lovable Momo who steals my sandwich.

The Jersey Devil is being a jerk and Momo the alien is telling him to be cool
As pictured above

Now, I don’t really have a problem with the CGI in BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE (I know, quote me on that); however! There is one instance where they should have gone with non-CGI.

So, one of the sequences is a silent movie part. It’s actually really cute and I enjoyed the heck out of it. The only issue I had, and the opportunity missed was that they used CGI during this “silent” film, making it feel very awkward and stunted. It would have been so clever and amazing if they had a puppet or practical effect typical of that era as the monster instead. The CGI felt out of place there. It would have only added if there had been a puppet or even (more expensive but way cooler) stop-motion or Claymation. It would have added to the feel and authenticity.

A guy holding a puppet of the devil looking bored while the actress looks scared
(Terrifying)
Like an old timey movie - it reads: Oh my, this must be that loathe-some devil! Organ music intensifies.

Brainroll Juice:

While BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE strayed a bit from the Small Towns aspect, it veered straight into the historical narrative. As a skeptic (hisss, booo), I appreciated hearing the historical and cultural impact the Jersey Devil had on early America. Especially about Quakerism during the era, and the rise of newspapers and their competitions with each other. I ate these segments up completely…much like a stolen PB sandwich.

I often think these kinds of facts are dismissed or omitted in paranormal documentaries in fear it will disprove or minimize the testimonials of witnesses or looking for these entities. However, these are imperative and fascinating facts as we see folklore change and grow in our timelines. Who was the Jersey Devil at creation, during the turn of the century, and to this present day? Breedlove answers those questions with BLOODLINES: THE JERSEY DEVIL CURSE. It’s not a debate if the Jersey Devil is alive and breathing this very moment, but what his mere presence has had within our nation. It’s talking the small town and growing it. Expanding upon it. And maybe that’s the natural progression for urban legends, folklore and culture. So, I appauld Breedlove for not veering away from that.

The Jersey Devil but gothic-looking

Bottomline: While you may find it slow in parts, this is one of my favorite Small Town Monsters. It’s smart. Full of heart. It’s back to the fun “Feature Presentation” segments that I love, and has a wealth of interesting information. If you’re curious about the Jersey Devil and its history, it’s definitely worth checking out. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason. Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.

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Movies n TV

Low point or a daring experiment? Halloween VI (1995) Review

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To a lot of fans, this is the film that killed the franchise. It says a lot that the next installment is yet another retcon. Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers attempts to explain Michael’s unrelenting evil, which lead to mixed opinions from longtime fans. There are two cuts of the film, theatrical vs producer’s. For a lot of people, the latter is the only one worth mentioning. Aiming to be as accurate as possible, I will be talking about the producer’s cut. Let’s begin! 

Plot

We start Halloween VI with a six-year time jump from part five. Jamie is now barefoot and recently pregnant, running away from Michael as he wants her baby. While she manages to hide the little one away, Michael finally gets his hunger satiated by killing her. The moment is one of the most brutal ways in the franchise up until that point. Rest in peace, Jamie, you held your ground for as long as you could, the sequels were just too relentless. 

The movie then cuts to a whole different scene going on. We have a new family living in the Myers house and their youngest child is hearing voices telling him to kill his loved ones. Tommy Lloyd is watching the family, played by none other than Paul Rudd in his first-ever theatrical role. Tommy still carries trauma from the events all those years ago when Laurie Strode was babysitting him. So when he finds Jamie’s baby, his part in the story becomes even more essential. 

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Dr Loomis also stars in what was Donald Pleasance’s final role before his passing. He and Tommy try to stop Michael once and for all before the cycle can repeat itself. As it turns out, Michael is a victim of a druid cult which makes him want to kill his family members every Halloween. Thorn, the cult in question, thinks they can control Michael and make him do their bidding. This results in catastrophe and Michael goes berzerk and kills all the cult members. Once again, it’s one of the most gruesome montages for the franchise up until that point.  

Tommy and Kara are left to face Michael on their own which they manage to do with some corrosive liquid and good luck. However, nothing stays dead in this franchise as it’s soon revealed Michael somehow escaped and this time Dr Loomis might not be so lucky… 

Overall thoughts

I would say for me personally Halloween VI definitely ranks somewhere near the bottom. The whole point of Michael is that there is no rhyme or reason to his killings and this film tries to go against that. I am glad the mistake was rectified by the upcoming installment. There were still some good things about it, such as Paul Rudd’s acting that reveals some raw talent as far as I’m concerned, as well as some direction choices and musical score. However, I also think it absolutely deserves all the criticism that it gets. 

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2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

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Movies n TV

American Horror Stories, The Thing Under The Bed

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We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.

As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.

The story

We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.

Debby Ryan in American Horror Stories.

This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.

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What worked

In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.

Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.

This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.

Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.

It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.

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What didn’t work

I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.

I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.

All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, Leprechaun

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If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.

Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.

The story

We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.

We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.

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Hudson Oz in American Horror Stories Leprechaun.

Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.

What worked

The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.

I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.

I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

What didn’t work

That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.

Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.

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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.

Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.

There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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