LOS ANGELES, CA. Right when the world needed serious help because thousands are dying at the hands of virus that the U.S. government isn’t taking seriously, a few popular beauty YouTubers decided to make it about themselves. I think their private jets flew too close to the sun or however the saying goes.

A week ago, prominent YouTubers and beauty collaborators Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson sat down and spit out the truth about their problematic pasts. In the YouTube video that was as long as Wolf of Wall Street and dropped just as many F bombs, Star and Dawson claimed a demon from Sephora committed their acts of racism, misogyny, and pedophilia.

“This whole time, it wasn’t even us. It was a demonic spirit that followed both of us home after a quick trip to fucking Sephora. We would never, in a million trillion fucking years, do what video evidence has convicted us of,” Star said.

“What he said. Even though it was literally my fucking face doing blackface, it was not me. You know, hundreds are victim to possession every year and we were just two of the unlucky, fucking wildly rich ones to get it,” Dawson added.

Dawson then continued to treat his viewers like idiots and said, “Unfortunately, since I have millions of impressionable young people who have been subscribed to me for years, everyone thought it was the real me committing those unforgivable acts of playing racist stereotypes, pretending to jack off to an eleven-year-old, and other bullshit that again, I would NEVER do in real life.”

Despite never claiming to be possessed until the very moment many people had enough of their irredeemable and persistent behavior, both YouTubers had zero ounces of regret for harming multiple oppressed communities. Cuz it wasn’t them, remember. It was the demon that lives in the aisles of Sephora.

Uh huh.

Hold on, while I put on some clown makeup to pretend I believe this disrespect.

Hey Jeffree and Shane, maybe you should re-watch Jenna Marbles latest video. Take it from her, a genuine person who knows how to take accountability, and just stop. It’s really that simple. STOP. I know you both want to add to the millions of dollars you’ve racked up thanks to your white privilege, but it’s time you hang up the makeup brushes and read a book by Angela Davis.