There I was, cruising Netflix (Canada, eh) and ran across the Bye-Bye Man. I vaguely recall missing this in the theatres and being upset. Upset I am no more!

Screenwriters please burn your Save the Cat book

This ‘monster in the house’ story is about why a movie shouldn’t be written strictly with a Save the Cat beat sheet. I’m not exactly sure if that’s the technique they used to write it but damn if we can’t just whip out our beats and fill in the blanks on this one.

It’s a story about a three ‘teens’ who buy a haunted house and have to overcome their personal struggles to something something. I honestly don’t know true logline here. Sadly, I don’t even care. None of the characters are fleshed out to a point that anyone gives a shit about them.

Imagine a group of writers going, You know what was a good movie? That Bloody Mary Movie! I think we should remake that! But instead of making it scary or even comply, let’s make it completely void of all human emotion. That’ll show ‘em! 30 minutes later and we see a stated premise of God flipping a coin with three buck naked 19 year olds (who all look vaguely sub 30) standing on a train track somewhere in bumfuck Wisconsin (Jimbo did time in BF WI, so he can attest to this). Technically, it’s like Madison which isn’t quite BF but they keep slipping back into very small town life.

Plot holes? We have a few…

The guy couldn’t find ‘Bye-Bye Man’ in a Google search. So, I’m pretty fucking sure if I typed that in right now a few million web pages of ‘Bi Bi Menz’ will pop up. Apparently, their Google doesn’t know porn.

We are then told if someone redacts a new story that the past no longer exists. Somewhere, Trump let out a big sigh of relief.

There isn’t much of a redeeming factor here. Everything seems so lazy. Mr Daisy runs the flower shop. GET IT!? Fuck yeah! Mrs Chlamydia ran the STD clinic (not really, but you get the picture). The writing is lazy; the acting is plastic; the editing is wtf. FX are a bit shite. Sound is actually pretty decent. You know when Jimbo goes all the way to the Sound people to say something nice about a film it truly truly is horrible.

The ONE redeeming factor in this is the performance of Doug Jones. I love Doug Jones. He’s been in some stellar movies and made ‘good movies’ into ‘supestrata’ ones. Unfortunately, not even Doug Jones could save this one.

IF we had a star system here…

We haven’t developed a ‘star system’ yet, but I’m guessing this would be almost 1 star, if that. Do yourself a favour and skip this one. Hell, watch that ‘Titans’ trailer that is far better than the actual series. Watch some random stuff on Shudder. Just do yourself a favour and skip this one.

Bye-Bye Man trailer

Jim Phoenix

El Jefe

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