
‘Child’s Play’: Did I Really Roast Chucky?
I don’t dislike the Child’s Play film franchise. Why must I say this? Well, there’s a weird misconception about me regarding those films.
I recently watched and enjoyed the original Child’s Play and it made me want to address an elephant in the room: I don’t dislike that film franchise. Why must I say this? Well, there’s a weird misconception about me regarding those films. This requires a little backstory: Back in August 9, 2018, something strange happened. I was “called out” via Twitter by the Editor in Chief of a prominent horror site for supposedly calling the Child’s Play franchise stale. Certain anonymous goofballs chimed in saying, in so many words, “Yeah, to hell with that loser! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about!” Long story short, there was an impromptu competition over who could be the biggest crybaby (which has become America’s biggest pastime now, it appears).
A Dumb Semi-Scandal
Now, for starters, who cares even if I did say that the franchise was stale? People outright dislike plenty of movies I love all the time! Look at Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, for shit’s sake! I love that movie yet it’s constantly dragged through the mud. However, the problem isn’t that I said the franchise is stale. In fact, here was my initial response to that rape accusation:
If you bother to look at my original article, you’ll find that it’s actually not a harsh critique of the Child’s Play movies. It was exactly as the title says: Suggestions for keeping Childâs Play fresh. In fact, I suggest I like the series more over time because I can better appreciate the psychological horror aspects of the original now as an adult. While the article didn’t create a national scandal, I did get an idea of what it feels like to face a manufactured semi-scandal over social media.
There was Vaguely Something to Their Complaint
To be fair, I can partly understand the confusion. The article actually was promoted wrong. The website I used to write for implied I suggested it was going stale, when in fact I didn’t ( and sorry to this website, but this is the simple truth). However, it didn’t end there. Another site had to get into it, issuing an article called YOU JUST CANâT KEEP A GOOD GUY DOWN: WHY THE CHILDâS PLAY FRANCHISE IS ANYTHING BUT STALE. This whine was because, in my article, I dared to point out how oversaturation can lead to franchise decline. Is that really such a weird point to make? It’s exactly what happened to the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, and others, so we know it’s a real thing. In fact, Wes Craven famously critiqued that franchise throughout its run and he started the damn thing!
I stated my case in a perfectly reasonable (and factual) manner in the original article: “Itâs sort of like Freddy Krueger toward the end of the 1980s. The pop culture aspects of the character almost outweighed the horror elements, and he was rendered ‘safer’ and less effective as a story device. In a way, this is part of a general risk with sequel and reboot fatigue. Even if things are pretty well done, some will get tired of seeing the same character. Of course, if things arenât well done at all, it can be way more groan-inducing than bone-chilling.”
See, I can say that even as a fan of all the Nightmare on Elm Street films â â which, in all honesty, is my favorite horror franchise overall. Like a grownup, I can admit that some installments were better than others.
My Praise â That’s Right, Praise â for Child’s Play
So let’s finally dispense this myth that I laid down some harsh critique of Child’s Play. In reality, I have written plenty of positive articles about Child’s Play, Chucky and Brad Dourif. Here’s an article called The Actor Factor: The Great Performances of âChildâs Playâ (1988). It was written on June 30th, 2018 â well before that other, oh so offensive article. If anything, that article might be so positive as to make one feel nauseous! Here’s one from even earlier where I praise Dourif’s acting in general . I write, “Chucky has become the dominant killer doll in horror, and itâs hard to imagine anyone truly taking his place. As Chucky himself famously said, ‘Donât fuck with the Chuck!’â
I can imagine someone saying: “Hey, wait a minute! I thought this loser wasn’t a fan of the Child’s Play movies and he was some dumb-ass with a gimmicky ‘hot take’ on Chucky to generate clicks.” No, hypothetical sir and/or madam crybaby. That’s a solid NOPE. However, now that I think of it, I am half-tempted to manufacture a scathing critique of this OR ANY OTHER film franchise just to hear more babies cry out in the night as I laugh my way to the imaginary bank. Bwahahahaha!
So, what are your thoughts on Chucky and the horrible, incredibly stale and loathsome Child’s Play franchise? Do you think I should have been tarred and feathered, if not flayed alive, for making the vaguest critique imaginable and having my article promoted badly via Twitter? Will such people eventually succeed in giving me a permanent persecution complex? Let me know in the comments (or don’t…see if I care!)!
Movies n TV
Wheel of Time A Question of Crimson Is a Political Espionage Delight
Episode two of Wheel of Time felt like the beginning of a long journey. Stories are unfolding, lives are changing, and blood is spilling.
Letâs discuss.
The story
We begin this episode in the past with Elayne’s mother, Queen Morgase. It turns out her rise to the throne was a bit, shall we say, cutthroat. So when she shows up at the White Tower, Siuan is concerned.
She might have reason to be, too.
Meanwhile, Rand, Egwene, Moiraine, Lan and Aviendha are in the Spine of The World. As they travel through some of the most breathtaking lands I have ever seen on a TV show, Egwene is plagued with nightmares. We think at first that’s just her trauma working itself through her system. But we soon find out that it might not be that straightforward.
Finally, Perrin returns home to heal after his hand is almost cut in half. But when he gets there he finds the town has been infested by Children of The Light. And they’re looking for him.
What worked
There was something heartwarming in this episode about political espionage and choking religious persecution. And that is Elayne’s relationship with her family.
I have consumed a lot of fantasy content with royal families. And I have never once heard a princess call her mother ‘Mum’. I’ve never seen royal siblings get along. And I have sure as hell never seen a princess have a good relationship with her step-parent.
This was refreshing. Even though Queen Morgase is kind of a horrible person she seems like a good mother. And thatâs an unexpected delight.
Of course, this is just one storyline among many. And while this can sometimes be overwhelming, in this case it wasn’t.
I’ll be honest, some of these storylines are going to drag for me. I know this because I’ve read some of the Wheel of Time books and I have an idea that not all the characters exactly pique my interest.
No one likes all the characters. No one likes all the storylines. While I am here for the political espionage between Queen Morgase and Siuan, not everyone likes it. While others might be fascinated with Selene trying to win Rand back, I couldn’t care less.
Having multiple storylines keeps everyoneâs attention better. So long as things donât get out of hand. Things can easily get out of hand. But this seems to be managed well.
So far.
What didnât work
As I mentioned above, I’m not thrilled with Rand’s story at this point. And while it’s fine to not like a storyline when there are this many to choose from, it’s not fantastic that the one I like the least is the one involving our two main characters. And anytime we were with the team at the Spine of The World, the only thing that brought me joy was Moirain’s hat. It reminded me of Stockard Channing’s hat in Practical Magic.
The problem is that Rand is Charlie Brown with controversial magical powers. He is boring, serious, and pessimistic.
And yes, I understand that he has a heavy emotional burden and he’s the Dragon Reborn and that’s quite taxing and all. But let’s be fair, there isn’t a single person in this show that doesn’t have a heavy burden. And most of them manage to be fun occasionally.
All that being said, this episode of Wheel of Time did exactly what it needed to do. It set up conflicts at each of the three locations. It established emotional ties between the characters and the events. And it established goals for everyone.
This was, in short, a solid episode. Not groundbreaking, not mind-blowing or life changing. It was simply good. It was entertaining and moved the plot forward.
Well done.
Movies n TV
Wheel of Time Returns With A Bang
Wheel of Time is back for season three. There are mixed feelings regarding this. Last season, there were some serious pacing issues. And some serious sticking to the book’s storyline issues. But we’re two seasons in, and we don’t give up so easily. So let’s dive into episode one, To Race the Shadow.
By the way, I highly recommend watching this episode with the subtitles on. Youâll see why.
The story
We begin this episode with Liandrin facing a trial of sorts for her rampant betrayal. She does her best to gaslight her Aes Sedai sisters into thinking that Siuan Sanche is the real traitor.
When that doesn’t work, she reveals how many Black Aes Sedai have actually infiltrated the tower.
Spoiler, itâs a lot.
In the aftermath, our whole team gathers to drink and enjoy one night of relaxation before they head out to the Tear to form an army for Rand. All is going well until they’re attacked by myriad creatures and a sentient axe.
What worked
This episode was long. It had a run time of an hour and eleven minutes. And a lot of that run time was spent in heavy dialog scenes.
Fortunately, these were well-done scenes.
If you’re going to have a lot of talking scenes, there are good ways and bad ways to do it. Last season, we saw lots of examples of the bad way to do it. But this episode did it well. For one thing, other things were going on while conversations were taking place. The characters are drinking, playing games, walking through an interesting city. And the scenes themselves didn’t stretch out. They weren’t repetitive. We heard what the character had to say, then we moved on.
It was also nice that the point of these scenes wasn’t just info dumps. We had character development. We had romantic interactions. We had plot development and foreshadowing.
Overall, this episode felt like what it was. A moment of calm before a storm.
Taking a step back, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fight scene at the start of the episode. Because it was epic.
The magic looked amazing. The martial arts that went along with it looked fantastic. The costumes were beautiful. It was just incredibly fun to watch.
More than that, it was emotional. We lost some characters in that fight that were important. And it was clearly emotionally shattering for many of our characters, who found themselves betrayed by people they trusted.
So many of them.
It was a great way to open the season.
What didnât work
Despite that, this episode wasnât without its flaws.
First off, there were a lot of dialog scenes. And they were good scenes, as I’ve already discussed. But it was one after another after another. And when your episode is, again, an hour and eleven minutes, it’s maybe a little much to have so much chit-chat. Couldn’t some of these conversations, important as they were, have been moved to maybe another episode?
Finally, I want to talk about Egweneâs travel through the arches.
I feel like maybe there were some deleted scenes here. Because there must have been more to that visit than what we saw, right?
We could have seen Egwene battle Rand. That would have been badass and emotionally devastating. We could have seen her with a quiet life with Rand back home at the Two Rivers. We could have seen anything except for the quick clip of Rand in a bloody river, followed by Egwene being shoved back out in a bloody shift.
Bad job. But at least it wasn’t an extended scene of Moiraine collecting bathwater, and then taking a bath while looking sad. If we’d started this season with another scene like that, it might have broken my brain.
Amazon dropped the first three episodes at once. So weâll be back soon to talk about episode two. See you then.
Movies n TV
Entertaining as hell: Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Review
Early 2000s is a special era for the industry. It accepts the cheesiness and corniness of movie making, in turn producing some gems in their own right. Eight Legged Freaks starring David Arquette and young Scarlet Johanson is a horror comedy about giant spiders who overtake a small town. As crazy as that premise sounds, the movie surprisingly has a ton of heart and is super entertaining. Letâs review, shall we?Â
Plot
We start Eight Legged Freaks with a shot of toxic waste spilling into the water supply of Joshua, a spider farm owner. He is friends with Mike, one of our protagonists, who is a science geek and a spider enthusiast. Mike notices something quite right upon visiting Joshua, but no one takes him seriously. We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Mikeâs mother Samantha, the town sheriff, is too busy chasing Ashley, his sister, who is dating the town mayorâs son Bret (something Samantha does not approve of). We also have Chris, who returns to the town to save his fatherâs legacy in the town mines. He has opposition from Wade, Bretâs father, who wants to use the mines for his business ventures. Lots of drama going on that will only get juicier once the spiders get loose.Â
The creepy crawlies quickly dispose of Joshua and make their grand appearance after Ashley rejects Bretâs advances, abandoning him in the middle of a desert. A glorious chase sequence ensues as the spiders make their way towards the town, wreaking havoc on its residents. In a true horror fashion (which the movie acknowledges), it takes some convincing from Mike and then from Samantha for the town to take the threat seriously. The tongue-in-cheek style of narrative adds the comedy aspect to a movie that would otherwise burn out fairly quickly.Â
The remaining characters hide out in a shopping mall as itâs the only somewhat sturdy building in the area. This doesnât last long as the spiders break in, forcing them to run through the mines. Their resources to fight the creepy crawlies off are limited as the methane gas doesnât allow them to use firearms. Such conditions require resourceful thinking from Chris, who uses perfume to fend off the leader of the spider group and save himself during the climax of the movie.
Character dynamics are not forgotten once the action kicks in. We have Chris confessing his long-term feelings for Samantha which she knew all along, which provided some comedic relief. Bret also reunites with Ashley and apologises for being an asshole. Mike finally gets the appreciation he deserves as his knowledge saves the townsfolk more than once during the whole ordeal.
We end the movie with the townâs radio show person telling the story as an urban legend during his segment. This brings it into question â how much of it happened the way he said it did? We can only guess…
Overall thoughts
Eight Legged Freaks is a fun creature feature with some self-aware commentary on genre tropes that doesnât take itself too seriously. The acting is good, the pacing fitting and the characters are likeable enough for you to want them to make it through. Definitely a must watch, if you donât suffer from arachnophobia, that is.Â