Oh, it’s a wedding episode! A double wedding episode, even! Who doesn’t love wedding episodes?

Of course, this being The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, nothing goes to plan.

The second Eldridge Terror, called The Uninvited, has stumbled into Greendale. He seeks entry at the home of a young mother who doesn’t invite him in. Because, duh, who in the world would let some stranger into their house around their kid? The Uninvited proceeds to rip the woman’s heart right out of her chest. 

He next visits Ros and Harvey. Ros, with her Cunning, knows to let him in and give him food and drink. He has a good meal, then leaves them in peace. Then, after being given a tongue by Father Blackwood, the Uninvited heads to the wedding of Aunt Hilda Spellman to Dr. Zee. 

While The Uninvited shambles towards the wedding, there’s another worry plaguing the team. Dr. Zee has an incubus dwelling inside of him that needs removed before his wedding night. Aunt Zelda assigns Nick Scratch to exorcise the incubus. I’m sure it came as a surprise to no one that the demon escaped. It was also no surprise at all that it landed right in Theo.

What did surprise me is that this storyline didn’t go anywhere interesting. Pretty much, Theo has some wild sex with his boyfriend, Robin. And that’s it. Not to spoil anything, but trust me when I say this storyline didn’t go any farther than that. Which was a letdown. That could have been all sorts of awkward fun.

Alright, so that’s one wedding. The second one is Sabrina Morningstar’s wedding to Caliban, the man made of clay. Sabrina Spellman is freaked out by this and tries to break them up by telling him he has to literally sacrifice his manhood.

Again, this storyline sort of goes nowhere. It felt like this episode was trying to do too many things at once, an issue this show has often. As usual, in trying to be everything to everyone, it does nothing well. 

The only good part was Sabrina getting drunk at her aunt’s wedding and making a fool of herself. That was realistic and funny. I love that the hedge witches got her smashed. The whole scene was fantastic. 

All in all, I hope this is the weakest episode of the season. Because it was pretty damned weak. I never really liked wedding episodes that much.