Zombie Apocalypse: A What-to-Wear Guide
Zombies have become a mainstay of pop culture, and I’ve written about their widespread appeal recently. Still, there’s another topic I am interested in: What one should wear in the event of a zombie apocalypse!
Zombies have become a mainstay of pop culture, and I’ve written about their widespread appeal recently. Still, there’s another topic I am interested in: What one should wear in the event of a zombie apocalypse!
Before I begin, let me make something clear: I’m not one of those dumb-asses who really thinks this is highly plausible, let alone imminent. In fact, this article is mostly for fun. I’m also not an “expert” on this silly topic, so don’t lecture me if my premise is slightly off. Still, let’s pretend that a zombie virus is spreading, and you need some handy dandy tips on what ways to avoid getting bitten (or having the flesh-eaters get infected blood on you, or anything else that could “turn” you). On the Walking Dead, characters occasionally drape zombie guts on themselves to blend in with the horde. Still, that may not work in an actual (hypothetical) zombie apocalypse. So let’s look at some more basic ideas.
1. Get Into Leather Jackets and Pants
Remember Dawn of the Dead, where Stephen “Flyboy” Andrews (David Emge) wears a leather jacket around? Well, that’s probably a good idea. As the undead are encroaching, they may have a harder time biting through leather. So leather coats are good for when you travel around. There are some good methods of minimizing heat in the things, too.
Consider wearing lighter leather (though I would recommend thicker stuff, while carrying a canteen). Also consider wearing a lighter colored leather, like a tan or olive color, as they attract less heat. Maybe it’s not as sexy as black leather, but we’re talking more survival than style. Also, some leather jackets have perforations, presumably to make it more breathable.
2. Take Up Zombie Hockey & Wear a Helmet
Maybe you’re no athlete, but hockey gear could save your skin from the zombie horde. This is relatively easy stuff to find, too. Also, wear helmets of various kinds. I’m talking football helmets, hockey helmets, bicycle helmets, you name it! Of course, you may benefit from carrying a hockey stick, too, Casey Jones-style. Turn a zombie skull into a hockey puck!
3. Get Into Spikes & Chains
Hey, if you’re considering leather, you might want to emphasize spikes as well! It might make you look like a wannabe bad-ass, but it would be a perfect way to avoid having zombies gnawing through your soft, hot flesh! In addition, you’ll have a solid punk rock fashion that’s also functional. Wouldn’t that be great? No one could call you a punk poser, as you’re just being practical. Of course, if you start rocking a mohawk, that’s on you. Here’s another thing: If you do get turned while wearing this, it’ll make you look cooler than when you were alive… guaranteed!
4. Wear Thick Winter Jackets and Gloves
This one could get annoying, as this would make one’s body and hands sweaty. In fact, I’ve even walked in zero degree weather and had to take my hat, gloves and jacket off for a bit because I was too warm. Still, a zombie would have a tougher time chewing through a thicker set of winter gloves and a jacket! This one is doubly practical if it is actually winter. It’s a no-brainer of an option.
5. Have You Considered Riot Gear?
Yes, this isn’t immediately accessible to everyone, but probably not that difficult to find. In fact, this was done on The Walking Dead. Honestly, this is such a no-brainer that more Walking Dead characters should wear this stuff more often. Isn’t there an element of common sense to this? Talk about a huge oversight! This kind of gear would be best acquired during the early stages of the zombie apocalypse, before others can successfully raid the local police armory.
6. Ever Hear of Troy Hurtubise? No? Well, Learn About Troy Hurtubise
Don’t feel bad about not recognizing the name. I didn’t remember it either, until I started writing this article and looked it up. However, I did remember that a man made an “indestructible suit,” designed to withstand grizzly bear attacks! He called the suits “Ursa,” with each version having a new number attached. Still, you could call such a suit anything you want. However, I wouldn’t encourage you to call it “stupid,” as it apparently works.
He supposedly also created something called “Firepaste,” which is claimed to be able to withstand temperatures from blowtorches. Obviously you may not be as obsessed about this things as Troy was, but you may want to take a page or two from his book once the dead start to walk.
The man’s ideas may sound ridiculous, but they seemed to have positive results.
7. Consider Wearing Other Dumb Stuff, Too
Can’t find the things already listed? Fair enough. If you look around the house, you may still have some extra padding against walkers. If you know any fishermen, maybe they have hip waders. Have any old magazines lying around? You can potentially wrap those around your arms, in conjunction with duct tape. Is it the most ideal form of protection? Of course not! Still, if you want to get out alive, fashion isn’t your #1 priority. Also, if you have access to bubble wrap, extra layers of sweaters and sweatshirts, anything you can successfully layer under your shirts…Yes, I even suggested bubble wrap. It would probably make sense to at least consider it!
Well, hopefully this zombie article didn’t make you cringe too hard. Let us know what you think in the comments.
Look, I’m a simple guy. Sure, I like my Small Town Monsters and my silly-billy movies about cats eating people.
But sometimes there comes a film that’s smartly written, full of humor and social commentary, plus great acting. Oh, and scares that actually scare the shit out of me.
Almost a year to the date, I got to watch such a film called #CHADGETSTHEAXE that I saw as a screener for FilmQuest Fest in October, 2022. And I was blown away by the talents of director/co-writer Travis Bible and co-writer/producer Kemerton Hargrove; starring Spencer Harrison Levin (Black Jesus), Michael Bonini (New Amsterdam), Taneisha Figueroa (Duck World), Cameron Vitosh (Walker), Brandon Doyle (Murder Made Me Famous), and Shun Hagins (Snitch).
Mini-Review, I swear it’s short:
And, I know, I know, I know. ‘But Brannyyyyk, isn’t livestreaming horror movies just a flash in the pan? Hasn’t it been done beforeeee?’ For one, stop saying it like that, it’s weird. For two, not like this. The care and attention that went into #CHADGETSTHEAXE is wickedly clever with such tongue-in-cheek humor of influencers, humanity, and the toxic culture of fandom. It’s the shining example of live-streaming movies because it’s so f-ing smart.
Case in point, the characters are living up to their personas. However, even when the personas are ragged and driven to the edge of life and death, we never see them as people, fully dimensional people, because we never see them break away from their devices. There’s never a shot that shows us ‘hey, this is a film, now let’s see them as the real character they are’. The actors are really carrying dual roles as the personas and the real people underneath; as they are struggling to keep up appearances in front of the millions of viewers.
Plus, don’t get me started on the characters within the livestream feed, along with running jokes and clues to the haunted house.
Anyway, I don’t want to give too much away as I’m going to be covering it on Streamin’ Demons soon. But I wanted to also tease about the fact that I’m going to be interviewing some VIPs from the movie for What’s Kraken? So, shhh, only tell your closest friends because it’s going to be incredible.
Join the Hype Train:
Adapted from an award-winning short with the same title, #ChadGetsTheAxe follows four social media influencers as they live-stream their trip to Devil’s Manor, former home to a Satanic Cult. Things don’t go well. And as the violence ramps up… so do the views.
The film premiered at FilmQuest in October 2022 and Internationally at FrightFest Glasgow in March 2023 where it was well received by critics. #ChadGetsTheAxe was produced by Travis Bible, Eric Gibson, Kemerton Hargrove, and Frances O’Hanlon, while Dream Big Group serves as executive producers.
The Horror Collective is the genre label of Entertainment Squad — a production and distribution company founded by veteran producer Shaked Berenson (TURBO KID, TALES OF HALLOWEEN). The label’s latest releases include the Daytime Emmy nominated Limited Series DOOMSDAY, the killer-pants Shudder Original SLAXX, and the critically acclaimed horror-comedy SUMMONING SYLVIA.
Website:Â https://thehorrorcollective.com/
I’m hoping it gets DVD distribution one day because I’m old and I need DVDs for when the zombie apocalypse happens.
Welcome to June! There’s so much on the hopper for Arrow that I just have to give you, my friends, the hot goss.
June 2nd: Paul Joyce Documentaries
June 2nd kicks off the month with ARROW’s latest curation of Paul Joyce documentaries, this time looking at legendary filmmaker John Cassavetes, straight from the mouth of his friend and collaborator co-star Peter Falk (Columbo) in Out of the Shadows: The Films of John Cassavetes.
After a six year directing hiatus, Monte Hellman sat down with Paul Joyce and just talked for an hour while Joyce filmed. The result is Plunging on Alone: Monte Hellman’s Life In a Day.
June 2nd: the wild world of Ero Guro
What is Ero Guro? Well, the Japanese sub-genre of horror and pink films Ero Guro combines the erotic (ero) and the grotesque (guro) to deviant, decadent and unforgettable effect. ARROW’s Ero Guro collection features the unholy trinity of core Ero Guro films, Teruo Ishii’s Shogun’s Joy of Torture and Horrors of Malformed Men and Yasuzo Masumura’s Blind Beast, plus plenty more exciting, explicit and enticingly depraved delights to delve into.
Titles Include: Shogun’s Joy of Torture, Blind Beast, Irezumi.
June 6th: Warriors Two (US/CA)
After making his directorial debut with the intense The Iron-Fisted Monk and firmly solidifying his worth at Golden Harvest, Sammo Hung would be given more creative control behind the camera. Now able to inject more of his own personality, Hung would bring to life the more upbeat (yet only slightly less violent) Wing Chun cult classic: Warriors Two!
Predating the Ip Man tetralogy by three decades – as well as Hung’s own The Prodigal Son (starring Yuen Biao as the younger incarnation of Leung Tsan) by a few years – Warriors Two is one of the earliest films to authentically portray the teachings of Wing Chun while also delivering the kind of kinetic and pulse-pounding fights synonymous with the name Sammo Hung!
June 16th: Eli Roth Selects (UK/IRE/US/CA)
Splatter icon Eli Roth takes a stroll through the archives with Eli Roth Selects (UK/IRE/US/CA). “I absolutely love Arrow and have been a collector of their editions for years, and Arrow Player is the most streamed channel in my house. I’ve seen a lot of Select lists, and while I agree with them, I wanted to highlight some that people might have otherwise overlooked.”
Titles Include: Basket Case, Contamination, Madhouse.
June 19th: Toru Murakawa’s Game Trilogy (UK/IRE/US/CA)
Made at the end of the 1970s, Toru Murakawa’s Game Trilogy launched actor YĂ»saku Matsuda as the Toei tough guy for a new generation. Matsuda was the definitive screen icon of 1980s until his career was tragically cut short by cancer at the age of 40, following his Hollywood debut in Ridley Scott’s Black Rain.
The Most Dangerous Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): In this career-defining triptych, Matsuda is Shohei Narumi, an ice cool hitman of few words, a steely trigger finger, and a heart of stone, hired in The Most Dangerous Game by a company bidding for a lucrative government air defence contract to take out the competition.
The Killing Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): Narumi finds himself caught in the midst of violent yakuza gang warfare, while his own brutal past catches up with him in the form of two beautiful women still bearing the emotional scars of his past assignments.
The Execution Game (UK/IRE/US/CA): Narumi falls for a mysterious saloon bar chanteuse who may or may not be part of the same, shadowy underworld organization as the rival hitmen he is employed to rub out. (I’m assuming the tough-guy way and not the sexy way)
June 23rd: SHAAAARKS!!!
Yessss, Cruel Jaws is coming to Arrow!
ARROW heads to the beach for some terror with shark attacks.
Cruel Jaws (US/CA): A huge shark terrorizes a beach in Florida, and the locals try everything to kill it.
Deep Blood (US/CA): Several young men have to stop an ancient native American evil in the form of a killer shark which is attacking a small beach community.
June 23rd: Sci-fi Stunners (UK/IRE/US/CA)
For the penultimate Season, ARROW boldly goes to the stars on June 23, seeking out new life and new cinema.
Sci-fi Stunners (UK/IRE/US/CA): There are other worlds than these. Come and explore them in this collection of cybernetic, planet-probing, time-travelling, cosmos-trotting, aliens-zapping, virtual and far-too-real adventures in Sci-fi Stunners – ARROW’s home world for the coolest Cult science-fiction films in the galaxy.
Titles Include: No Escape, Donnie Darko, Crimes of the Future.
Last but not least
Cosa Nostra Collection (UK/IRE/US/CA):
The most American of directors according to celebrated critic Paolo Mereghetti, Damiano Damiani (A Bullet for the General) nevertheless surveyed his own country’s mafia history unlike anyone before him, to critical and box office success.
Full of twists and a fascinating meta-commentary on cinema, Damiani points the camera at himself and the genre as he investigates the social impact of mafia violence, a fitting end to this survey of Damiani’s Cosa Nostra.
Titles Include: Day of the Owl, The Case is Closed, Forget It, How To Kill a Judge.
About ARROW:
From Arrow Films, a recognized world-leader in curation and creation, ARROW is a premium platform giving audiences an unparalleled viewing experience across multiple devices, so fans can explore the films and TV shows that the Arrow brand is famous for.
Specially curated by members of the ARROW team, ARROW is home to premium film and TV entertainment, exclusive new premieres, cutting edge cinema, international classics and cult favorites – such as the works of Lars Von Trier, Brian De Palma, Dario Argento, David Cronenberg and Park Chan-wook, and brand-new short films from both new and established filmmakers.
In the coming months, ARROW will be adding Oscar-winning hits, European classics, Asian cinema masterworks, rediscovered Westerns, offbeat gems and much more as part of ARROW’s international strategy to support and celebrate the medium of film.
For more information on ARROW and its titles, please contact: justin@justincookpr.com or visit https://www.arrow-player.com.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ArrowVideoUK
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arrowPlayer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Arrow_Player
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArrowVideo
The Science Fiction, Fantasy Writers Association is one of the most prestigious organizations in America for speculative fiction writers. While horror is not specifically mentioned, we all know that it’s nearly impossible to discuss fantasy and science fiction without the shadow of horror creeping in.
Each year, SFWA hosts a convention for writers called Nebula Con. I have virtually attended the convention for the past two years. And if you’ve never attended, you might want to consider it. Even if your writing, like mine, is long in the shadows and short on the elves.
First off, I do want to be clear that Nebula Con is a convention for speculative fiction writers. There are some fan panels, like the one on the works of Robin McKinley, this year’s Grandmaster. But the majority of the panels and events are for writers.
That being said, there are panels for writers at every stage of their careers.
For writers interested in crafting better stories, craft panels abound. My favorite panel was the one titled For The Love of Short Fiction. This panel started with a reading of some of the best short works from 2022. Then, each panelist dug into what made that piece work for them.
There were several other terrific panels, including one all about constructing a realistic legal system in your fictional world and writing fictional podcasts. (Like I do.)
But, you might say, these are panels for sci-fi and fantasy writers. No, these are panels for speculative fiction writers. Horror authors who want to have any kind of career would do well to master the short story. And if you don’t think there’s room for some legal horror in the market, you are wrong.
While the craft panels were wonderful, the career and marketing panels were probably the most useful and valuable of the whole convention. Are you, like many other online creatives, worried about the effects AI-generated writing is going to have on our field? There were two informative panels regarding that. Are you wondering how writers’ relationships with agents have changed now that self-publishing is so prevalent? There’s a panel for that.
A lot is going on in the publishing world. It’s confusing as hell, my friends. And one of the ways we keep each other up to date is with conventions like this. What I got out of the panel most was that having a career in writing is possible. My fellow participants and I learned from writers who are doing the thing. It’s hard, but it’s possible.
Of course, a convention is more than just panels. There’s the chance to meet with other authors. This might be where a virtual convention seems to have a deficit. And while I’ll admit that meeting online isn’t the same as meeting in person, there are certainly perks. I was able to meet, chat with and share stories with other writers in a Zoom chat room. And I came away feeling much like I did as a kid, having met new friends at summer camp. Even if I wasn’t sitting across from them, it was great to be surrounded by other people who want to make a living scaring the hell out of other people.
All of this writing joy culminates with the Nebula Awards Ceremony. If you’re interested in catching the awards but didn’t make it to the convention this year, you can watch it all on Youtube. Each year speculative fiction authors of all kinds of honored, from written work to gaming to television. This year’s toastmaster was Cheryl Platz, an author, and actress. As a critic, awards ceremonies are usually something I usually force my way through. The Nebula Awards are a rare treat in that scene. Partially because there’s a chance I’ve met the people up for the awards. But also because the people involved are, first and foremost, writers. It’s amazing how much more entertaining events are when the people being honored are, you know, talented storytellers.
If you’ve been on the fence about attending Nebula Con virtually, I suggest giving it a try. The world certainly needs more stories that go bump in the night.
