Wyvern
Hot take: I think there should be more horror movies with dragons. Dragons are cool, and have plenty of capacity to be truly terrifying, but unfortunately they’ve never really made it into the horror genre. I know that part of the reason for this is that dragons are expensive. They’re huge and they’re most well-known for breathing fire, which would eat into even the heartiest special effects budget. Fantasy films tend to be given much higher budgets than horror movies, so they’re much more likely to be able to afford dragons. On top of this is the looming shadow of Reign of Fire, which was both a critical and financial disappointment, making studios much more hesitant to even touch that kind of film. But hey, at least we have Wyvern.
Wyvern is a 2009 film directed by Steven R. Munroe in which Jake, an ice road trucker with a tragic past, must band together with the citizens of the small town of Beaver Mills to defeat a wyvern that was released from an iceberg by global warming. Made in conjunction with RHI Entertainment and The Sci-Fi Channel (now Syfy), it was released as part of the Maneater series.
On Wings of Glory
Let’s start with what I liked.
The cast and characters are good. The character development isn’t super deep but everyone feels like a person, like they had an actual history before the film rather than just being there to fit an archetype. Nick Chinlund’s Jake is a solid loner trying to atone for past mistakes, and it comes across in his character’s choices before his backstory is ever revealed. The scene where he reveals his tragic backstory is fairly convincing. The late Don S. Davis does a spectacular job as Colonel Sherman, providing a fun and energetic presence that could have been utilized more effectively. Tinsel Korey’s Hampton is great, and I like that her experience with the radio tower’s electrical wiring actually gets to be relevant to the plot. The only character that feels extraneous is poor Edna, played by Karen Elizabeth Austin. She doesn’t really get to do much in the narrative, and her character arc just kinda happens without a lot of active development.
The music is nice. All of the music fits the scene nicely, it’s all very well-coordinated. I’m particularly fond of the knock-off AC/DC that plays in the trucking scene.
While the dragon itself is CGI, there are some interesting practical effects in the movie. The wyvern eggs look really cool. They’re maybe a bit fleshier than you’d expect dragon eggs to be, but I still really like them and appreciate the effort the effects team took to make them look interesting.
A small detail I really appreciated is that when they radio for help, Jake specifically doesn’t mention the wyvern because he knows people wouldn’t believe that. I have long been of the opinion that horror movie protagonists tend to be too honest when going to authorities for help. A lot of them will acknowledge how strange their situation sounds but never even consider that gently lying might be their best option. Of course no one is going to believe your friend was murdered by bigfoot, but you could say that you saw some kind of large[] ]\animal kill your friend. Now, whether they would actually be helpful is another matter, but at least they’d show up.
On Wings of Despair
Unfortunately the film isn’t perfect.
A major problem with the film is that they show too much of the wyvern too soon. The first few death scenes completely show the wyvern, so nothing’s left to the imagination when they try to go back hints and implications after those scenes are over. The in-your-face nature of the first death scene feels out of place with the slower build-up they attempt while leading to the second. The sections in the first third of the movie with the colonel would have been so much more interesting and effective if we hadn’t already seen the wyvern. This film could have had an excellent suspenseful build-up, but it was just too trigger-happy.
The wyvern itself only looks okay. I’ve seen much worse in terms of CGI, but it’s still obviously CGI. The coloring could’ve been a bit more visually interesting, especially if they were insistent on showing the wyvern off as much as they could. It doesn’t breath fire, which is a little disappointing, but it’s probably for the best given that in the scenes where they do attempt CGI fire effects they look pretty bad.
Final Thoughts
The film is an honest effort. It’s competently made and engaging. Is it particularly scary? No. Is it high art? No. But it’s a solid, satisfying monster movie where the monster happens to be a dragon. This film easily gets four out of five cthulhus. If you want to check it out on Amazon, remember that we are an Amazon affiliate and if you buy anything from the links provided, we will get some $ back.
(4 / 5)
We’re back again with Goosebumps The Vanishing, episode two. A story too big for one episode, apparently.
Or, maybe this is just a nod to the fact that Stay Out Of The Basement was a two-part episode in the original 1995 show. Either way, after seeing this episode, we could have kept it to one.
The story
We begin this second episode with Anthony investigating the parasitic plant taking over his body. Rather than, I don’t know, going to the hospital, he’s decided to phone a colleague and send her some samples from the bulb he pulls out of his arm with a handheld garden trowel.
Meanwhile, Devin is having his own worries. He’s haunted by what he saw in the sewers. So, he gets CJ to go with him to investigate. What they find is more of the tendrils of the plant that dragged him down through the manhole last episode.
I sure would have liked to see more about that.
Instead, we see Devin pivot to flirting with a newly single Frankie. Because teenage hormones I guess.
Meanwhile, Trey is having a terrible day. First, his girlfriend leaves him. Then, Anthony breaks his car window.
Needing a way to deal with his frustration, Trey decides to break into the Brewers’ basement. There, he starts wrecking up the place. Until he meets the plant creature and has an unfortunate accident.
What worked
The big difference between this episode and the last is the increased gross-out factor. This episode had some straight-up cringy moments. From the tendrils waiving from Anthony’s arm to the whole goat he brings home to feed his new pet, this episode was skin-crawling gross in the best way possible.
The series is called Goosebumps, after all.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, that’s where my praise ends. This episode, unlike the last, just wasn’t that great.
To start with, there was a lot of unnecessary drama between characters who are not in danger of being eaten by a plant from the inside out.
I especially disliked the focus on the Frankie/Trey/Devin love triangle.
Now, I don’t hate it. This part of the story adds extra emotional depth to the show. We can see why Trey would be especially incensed by his girlfriend falling for the son of the neighbor he’s feuding with. But it would be more enjoyable if it wasn’t so cliche and dramatic.
I hate the way Trey tried to gaslight Frankie. It makes me dislike him when he should be a sympathetic character. I hate how whiny Devin is every time he talks to Frankie. And I hated the impassioned speech Frankie gives after Devin asks her why she was with Trey.
Listen, I understand what we’re going for here. Devin and Cece are not struggling financially. They’re doing alright, and their new friends here in Gravesend are not. We kind of got that without Frankie claiming that her socioeconomic status is why she’s dating a bully and gaslighter. It felt out of place. It felt like pandering. It certainly didn’t feel like something an eighteen-year-old would say. I hated it.
Finally, there was a moment near the end of the episode that irritated me. I don’t want to give too much detail because I wouldn’t dare ruin an R.L. Stine cliffhanger. But, well, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
I get that we’re watching a show about a carnivorous plant that is going to wreak havoc on this family and neighborhood. I understand the suspension of disbelief. Some might even say I am a little too generous with it. So I can buy into a teenager being absorbed by a plant and turned into a monstrous version of himself.
I can’t buy into what happens at the end of this episode. It doesn’t make sense with the rules established. It certainly doesn’t make any sort of scientific or logical sense. It is a lazy moment meant to further the storyline but threatens the structural integrity of the season.
All in all, this wasn’t the best episode of Goosebumps. But it’s only the second episode. Honestly, the season has plenty of time to go either way.
(2.5 / 5)
So, this is a convoluted post, not going to lie. Because it’s Thriller Nite. And we have to kick it off with a link to Michael Jackson in homage, because he’s the bomb and Vincent Price is the master… (If the following video doesn’t load properly, you can get there from this link.)
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
Their stiff joints arcing in jerky, erratic movements
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
It takes forever for them to catch their victims.
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
As they awkwardly shamble towards their quarry –
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
And yet no one ever seems to get away.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
Scenes shift, plot thickens, minutes tick by endlessly…
While the camera pans to a wide-eyed scream.
Seriously, how long does it take to make a break for it?
The movie monsters always approach so slowly.
So my father used to enjoy telling the story of Thriller Nite and how he’d scare his little sister, my aunt. One time they were watching the old Universal Studios Monsters version of The Mummy, and he pursued her at a snail’s pace down the hallway in Boris Karloff fashion. Both of them had drastically different versions of this tale, but essentially it was a true Thriller Nite moment. And the inspiration for this poem.
For more fun music video mayhem, check out She Wolf here on Haunted MTL. And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
Episode six of Dexter Original Sin brings us Dex’s third kill, making him officially a serial killer.
Yay!
The story
This episode dealt with many things. The first, and clearly most interesting, is the kidnapping of Nicky Spencer, the police captain’s son, whom we met a few episodes ago.
This loss has sent the entire police force into an uproar. They need to find the killer fast before Nicky’s found hanging from a bridge.
Unfortunately, Harry’s still on the sidelines for this one, after horribly messing up the case against Levi Reed. He’s instead working with LaGuerta in a case regarding a dead homeless man. Despite the different victims, types of death, and the fact that they don’t appear to be related at all. Except that Dexter believes they are. They are, in fact, the first murderers of a blossoming serial killer. Just like him.
Before Dex can lean into this investigation, though, he’s drug along on a double date with Deb, Sophia and Gio. And here, we see the first shadows of danger from Gio. Shadows that will almost certainly turn into a monster.
What worked
I would first like to acknowledge that, despite my irritations, Gellar did well in this episode. She didn’t have Whedon’like one-liners. She didn’t exist to give snappy comebacks with a side of girl boss.
She looked as though she’d aged. She was serious. She behaved like a real person who felt terrible about what was happening.
And, just to shout out the costume department, she looked washed out. Yes, that is a good thing. Let me explain.
White is not a good color on her. At least not that shade. It made her look bad. This is not something that Sarah Michelle Gellar would choose to wear.
But it is something that Tanya Martin would choose to wear. And I love that. I love when shows and movies let people look bad because they’re more interested in being true to the character and not focusing on everyone looking as hot as possible at all times.
I also want to discuss Gio, Deb’s boyfriend.
Gio scares me. And I think that most women watching this will feel the same way.
Not girls. Not teenagers or even some young women. But adult women, I’m willing to bet, do not like Gio after this episode.
It was the scene at the bar. The part where he got in the face of the guy who spilled Deb’s drink. There was danger in that scene. Gio didn’t want an apology. He didn’t want to make sure Deb was okay. He didn’t even want the drink replaced. He wanted a reason to hurt that stranger. Because at that moment he was furious. And the only way to handle that fury for him was pain.
Gio is a very dangerous man. I’ll be very surprised if this season doesn’t end with Dexter having to take him out.
What didn’t work
At this point, we have a lot going on. We have Nicky’s kidnapping. We have Dexter finding himself as a serial killer. We have the flashback storyline with Laura and Harry. We have the dangerous Gio and the likely in-danger Sophia. And we have these murders of drifters and homeless people that the team is now investigating.
That’s a lot. It’s more than what can be followed comfortably. And that doesn’t even consider the one or two-episode arches like Levi, Nurse Mary or Tony Ferrer. A lot is going on, and a lot to keep track of. And it’s hard to believe, seeing what we’ve seen from this franchise and knowing what we know about how they handle endings, that these are all going to have satisfying endings. Especially since I haven’t heard anything about a season two.
We have four episodes left in this season, and I am expecting the storylines to start heating up. As of right now, we have way too many that don’t have enough to do with each other. But as we get closer to episode ten, I would expect these loose threads to knot together and form a noose around the neck of our dashing Dexter.
(3.5 / 5)
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