Let’s just jump into it! Here are some interesting ideas for future installments in the Friday the 13th franchise. Obviously, I could have come up with 13 ideas, but I’m not a gimmicky bastard. I repeat: Here are 7 ideas, not 13. You’ll read them and you’ll like them, damn it.
1. Give Jason’s Mom More Screentime!
The original Friday the 13th film’s character of Mrs. Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) certainly made an impact. In fact, in that film, she was actually the big splash, with Jason largely being a mere ripple, or at most a dream. Still, an argument can be made that, perhaps, Jason has stolen the show a bit too much. Sure, we have caught brief glimpses of Jason’s mom here and there, with her being played and voiced by different people in brief scenes (Marilyn Poucher, Paula Shaw, Nana Visitor, Kathleen Garrett, etc.), but Pamela Voorhees could probably return. Hey, if they put Jason in space, why not find creative ways to bring back his mom?
2. Expand on the Concepts In ‘Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday’ (1993)
Not everyone likes this movie, and it’s not too difficult to understand why. It definitely has some baffling moments and the Jason myth is expanded in some weird-ass ways. Still, this movie does have its fans, and there was a lot of “retconning” going on with this installment, leaving plenty of gaps between ideas in previous films and this one. Of course, Jason returned from Hell to fight Freddy Krueger, but even that could obviously be retconned.
The point is, this might be a bad idea, but some really adventurous writer might try to do a special follow-up to this story. In fact, this film has an odd moment with the Necronomicon, which I always assumed was somehow linked to Jason’s powers. Were Mr. and/or Mrs. Voorhees involved in “Evil Dead”-style spells, somehow invoking a special curse involving Jason? A film exploring this concept would probably be terrible, but there’s still something bold about someone willing to explore this greater Voorhees universe.
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3. Humanizing Jason (and Piss Off Certain Fans?)
Yes, Jason has already been humanized at various points in the Friday the 13th franchise. In fact, in Part 2 he almost seems like an ordinary guy, and possibly even some deranged redneck. Also, in the 2009 reboot, Jason sort of went back to those roots, even setting up boobytraps and such. However, I like the idea of being bold, even if it might piss off the fans. I’m talking about an almost genre-defying, intelligent, deliberative Jason, who might even be capable of talking and stuff!
I know, I know, this will instantly piss off many fans. However, it’s not as crazy as you might think. In the first film, you know what is strongly implied several times? Jason could talk! Yes, I am not imagining things. Pamela Voorhees repeatedly flashes back to a young Jason calling out for help. Now, maybe she was being crazy and just fantasizing about Jason’s ability to speak, but I don’t know. She might have been crazy, but it seems like she wouldn’t randomly attribute speaking ability to her mute son. Also, if you think I’m full of shit, go ahead and remind yourself about this moment with this clip:
So, interestingly, when people tell you the filmmakers flopped in Jason Goes to Hell” for making Jason speak, you can actually correct them and say, “Well, actually, Jason had spoken before that” (you don’t have to say, in a stewing rage, “Jason actually cried for help, you ignorant sonofabitch!”) On that note, it would be interesting to witness the moment Jason vowed to make sure no one would survive Camp Crystal Lake ever again. While a talkative Jason might not represent the Jason most people know, smarty-pants fans like myself can have the added bonus of saying “Well, actually…”
4. Final Girls Team Up with Tommy Jarvis to Take on Jason
This one seems like a no-brainer, especially when more fans would be on board with it than some of the crappier ideas I’ve presented here. In the final encounter between Jason and these various survivors, who would doubt that Jason would have a serious fight on his hands? Hell, you could even through in a few new survivors, if you wish to keep things fresh. The potential seems inherent. Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman/John Shepherd/Thom Mathews) has sort of been the John Connor of the Friday the 13th franchise. At the very least, imagine if he teamed up with the series’ Carrie character, Tina Shepard (Lar Park Lincoln)!
5. A More Water-Based Jason
This idea isn’t entirely new. Obviously, Jason has spent plenty of time in the water. We’ve seen him jump out of the water, pull people under the water, emerge from the lake while clasping Fred Krueger’s (Robert Englund) severed head, and oddly get melted into a non-deformed little boy in swim trunks (Timothy Burr Mirkovich) by toxic waste. However, I think a daring writer could get even more creative with it. I mean obnoxiously and stupidly so.
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What if Jason becomes more of a water elemental/ghost-like entity? Bad idea city, right? Maybe so, but it’s really no worse (and possibly better) than sending Jason Voorhees into goddamn outer space! The point is, the story element is already there, with Jason already around the lake hoping to drive the surviving campers out. Imagine if he wasn’t even trying to swim across to them, but basically was the water. It’s not so different from “Jason attacks from the water.” It also makes him more spectral. It may be a bad idea in most hands, but it seems like something that could work…but probably wouldn’t.
6. Jason Takes Manhattan…But More This Time?
I like Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, but people often complain about it being “Jason on a boat” more than Jason in Manhattan. Obviously, the excuse for the limited time in Manhattan was a limited budget. While we do get some memorable NYC moments, it was not enough to pacify everyone. What if that were to change, and Jason was retconned back into Manhattan? Maybe they could have him be captured, much like they do in “Jason X,” and transported to a special research lab in Manhattan?
Hell, the remake could even have nods to the original. Maybe you could have Rennie (Jensen Daggett) return, just so Jason can take her under the water and try to drown her again. After all, such a premise could never get old, right? Maybe she got knocked on the head, received amnesia, and decides to go swimming to revitalize her memory…and then WHAMMO!, Jason’s got her by the leg and that old romantic just won’t let go! Then she breaks free and decides to go to Manhattan to see a broadway show and Jason, that old rapscallion, happened to score some tickets and is ready to join her there, too. (Obviously, I am making light of tragic situations, but you get the idea.)
7. The Psychological Angle
Remember Part 5, which doesn’t even have a real Jason in it? Of course, you do! By that point, it seemed some people were fine with leaving the actual Jason hacked up, at the bottom of the lake, or wherever. In fact, some people thought even the second Friday the 13th film was a bit out there. A drowned kid returning for revenge? How? Well, part of the reason parts 1, 2, and 5 sort of work is obvious: They all have a psychological angle to them, so people are less likely to sweat the small stuff like “Does this story and timeline really make sense?”
By applying just a bit of a psychological twist, one can make just about any idea seem somewhat deeper, even if only superficially. Hell, even Part 7 has some of that going on. The point is, some skilled craftsmen could perhaps get to work on a deeper, more psychologically rooted depiction of Jason Voorhees. Maybe it’s good to avoid stereotypical Freudian stuff, but who knows? Maybe that cigar isn’t just a cigar. There are plenty of bizarre, twisted twists and turns to be made here.
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Also, with how polished and refined some people are trying to be nowadays, the climate is perhaps just right to (even lazily) deliver freakish shocks and remind people what deeply disturbing stuff is actually buried beneath that hockey mask. Was Jason abused as a child and made too psychologically dependent on his mother? There’s a little bit of room to explore there, in the dark corners of the Voorheesian revenge motif. Of course, you can always have Jason fight someone other than Freddy, like Mike Myers (and I don’t mean Austin Powers — though, after seeing Jason in space, having him actually fight Austin Powers wouldn’t be much of a stretch. After all, in “Jason X” he did literally take on a fembot).
What are your thoughts on this list? Would they help or ruin the Friday the 13th franchise? Wouldn’t you see these movies either way? Admit it: You probably would, you hapless fool! Jason has you by the non-literal balls and you don’t even want him to let go, do you?
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
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What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
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What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
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Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.
We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.
Not like she’s happy about it.
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Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.
Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.
While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.
What worked
I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.
I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.
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Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.
Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.
Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.
While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.
All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.
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There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.
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Ashley
April 12, 2021 at 7:06 pm
Water elemental Jason is needed like yesterday. Go out! Go crazy. Worst case is you piss off fans (oh noooooooo) or you have something incredible.
Wade Wainio
April 23, 2021 at 1:17 pm
It would be interesting, and possibly even scary.