Who else had no idea there are two different Nosferatu remakes currently in development?
If you’re like me, then you must hate when people act like they’re too good for a 1922 silent film. Are they too lazy to read dialogue cards? Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror is what I’m talking about. There are other amazing silent films but Nosferatu is the one up for discussion right now. It’s one of the many godfathers of horror and vampire films. Nosferatu is not the first vampire film but it is the first unofficial “Dracula” adaptation and the first genuine vampire movie.
The first actual vampire film that I can think of is The Vampire from 1913. The House of the Devil though, from 1896, contains many themes that were seen in later vampire films.
Directed by German director F.W. Murnau, Nosferatu is an unauthorized adaptation of Stoker’s novel that stars Max Schreck as the mysterious aristocrat Count Orlok. The story follows Stoker’s novel with slight deviations including name changes on account of copyright problems. Dracula became Orlok, the word “vampire” was replaced with “Nosferatu”, and Jonathan and Mina Harker became Thomas and Ellen Hutter. Besides for its story, the film is most famous for its emaciated, balding, and undead image of the Count. The image lives on and often appears in other vampire films such as What We Do in the Shadows and the miniseries Salem’s Lot.
A modern Nosferatu, two remakes
Everything is getting a remake these days so I guess it’s not surprising that Nosferatu is among them. There were already numerous attempts to properly remake it. There’s Werner Herzog’s shot-by-shot 1979 color remake, Nosferatu the Vampyre, followed by Nosferatu: The First Vampire, a 1998 TV movie. The most notable one is probably Shadow of the Vampire, a retelling of the 1922 classic starring Willem Dafoe as Max Schreck.
Robert Eggers
Apparently, a new remake has been in progress since July 2015. I had no idea! Every other major remake gets constant updates but not poor Orlok. The remake was announced with Robert Eggers, director of The Witch, on board to both write and direct. At the time Nosferatu was going to be his second film.
“It feels ugly and blasphemous and egomaniacal and disgusting for a filmmaker in my place to do Nosferatu next. I was really planning on waiting a while, but that’s how fate shook out.”
Eggers on the IndieWire podcast
The project was put on hold for The Lighthouse but Eggers is still planning on making it. In October 2019, he confirmed that Nosferatu is still in development and will be broader than his previous two films. Despite the freedom to now make Nosferatu a proper “Dracula” movie, Eggers wishes to keep the two separate, considering Nosferatu to be closer to the folk vampire.
“The vampire played by Max Schreck is a combination of the folk vampire, of the literary vampire that actually has its roots in England before Germany, and also [has roots in] Albin Grau, the producer/production designer’s occultist theories on vampires.”
So he’s not a traditional folk vampire but it’s much closer to that than Stoker, even though obviously Stoker is using a lot of folklore that he’s researched to create his vampire,” Eggers continues. “But Dracula is finally much more an extension of the literary vampire that was started by John Polidori, based on Byron.”
From Bloody Disgusting
Eggers also expressed interest in having Dafoe replay the character and have him play alongside Anya Taylor-Joy.
David Lee Fisher
As it turns out Eggers is not the only guy remaking Nosferatu. Why do we need two so close together? Who knows. This other adaptation is apparently in the care of David Lee Fisher and is starring Doug Jones. Set as a “reimagining”, Fisher’s adaptation was announced in 2004 and then seemingly disappeared. There was no news about the project until 2017 when an article on EW revealed that Jones will still play the iconic vampire.
Even though two are in progress, the one with Eggers appears to be the only one getting any attention. I know little to nothing about Fisher’s. Trying to find out anything about these films is like performing surgery on yourself. Impossible, irritating, and painful.
Good news to my nonbinary pals – we no longer exist!
“But Brannyk,” you may be thinking, “what am I supposed to do now that I am no longer a real being? How shall I spend my days?”
Unfortunately, the government has not released a handbook for this occasion, so I thought we could brainstorm together.
BECOME A GHOST
There are some benefits to being a ghost, for sure.
No rent or insurance payment. No corporate job, no cleaning cat litter, no AT&T trying to sell you another line after repeatedly telling them that you just want to make sure that your autopayment is on, but they’re all like, ‘Why would you pass up such a bargain on a second line? Are you an idiot? Why wouldn’t you need another phone line?‘ and so you have to tell them, “Because I’M DIVORCED, ASSHOLE, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF THAT!”
Ahem. I digress.
Yeah, you may not be able to venture out, much like Adam and Barbara in Beetlejuice. You may need to put up with someone else crashing your place and moving around all of your shit. Or Ryan Reynolds trying to sell you Mint Mobile. Or some toxic couple taking your creepy doll that you spent years on trying to possess.
Or, my absolute biggest pet peeve, when you’re practicing for the ghost speed chair-stacking championship and the normies just don’t appreciate your cool skills.
But the advantages are that you get to stay home, watch tv, stack your chairs and hope whoever buys your house/visits your creepy woods/gentrifies your neighborhood is a cool person, too.
(2 / 5)
It’s a good choice, but has a lot of drawbacks.
BECOME A CREATURE
Look, if you’re not going to exist, go big or go home, I’d say.
Monsters are cool. They play by their own rules. Sometimes they cause havoc. Sometimes they come around and help people. Sometimes they work alone. And other times, they have a lot of friends. Sometimes they just need some affirmation. And sometimes they’re…in high school, apparently?
The cool thing is that they come in all shapes and sizes.
Monsters are generally misunderstood. Some have their fans. Others are hated.
So basically, just like people, except with more tentacles.
The only downsides are that you might be too big or too “ick” for some people (these can also be pluses), you may have a taste for human flesh (no judgement), or the biggest issue – there are too many choices.
You could get stuck trying to figure out what kind of monster you are. If you’re not into labels, it’s an absolute nightmare. Or if you’re like me, it’ll be like standing in Subway for 15 minutes trying to figure out what toppings and dressings you want while the “sandwich artist” is openly judging you.
(4 / 5)
I like the customization, but it can be a bit too overwhelming.
BECOME A CRYPTID
Hear me out. I know it seems a lot like the monster category, but it’s not quite.
Cryptids are weird and mysterious. They keep to themselves. They have people who are fascinated by them and post on Reddit about them. Some have people making documentaries about them.
They’re like monsters’ quieter cousin who reads books in the corner at family gatherings. They collect shiny things they find by the side of the road. Sometimes they’ll steal a peanut butter sandwich or two.
Ever so often, they might scare a human just by existing or by politely asking for their stuff back.
Each one kinda has their own goals and priorities. Their own hangouts and interests. But unlike monsters, they’re not looking to rock any boats-
Never mind, I stand corrected.
(5 / 5)
I like the freedoms of being a cryptid and also dig the cottage-core vibe I get from them.
CONCLUSION: LET’S BE REAL FOR A SECOND…
I know it’s hard right now. It’s going to be hard. You may not exist to some assholes, but you are real. You have real feelings and thoughts and dreams. You have a real future. You have real decisions. Real actions that affect this world.
You have the real ability to wake up tomorrow and choose to exist. And for whatever reason you choose. Use it. Ghosts and monsters and cryptids are powerful, just like you are, even when you don’t feel like it. They have a place in our human world, just like you do. You make this world interesting and important.
You are part of this world, you are real, and you are not alone.
The horror community is one of acceptance, diversity, creativity and passion. In these times, it needs to be. We need to rely on each other. We need to cultivate and protect each other, as much as we need to protect ourselves.
And it looks like I’ll be coming out of my own cryptid hovel I’ve spent the past few years in to remind you that. My job isn’t done. Not by a longshot. And neither is yours.
You exist to me. Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Be safe out there, friends.
Breaking News
Joe Bob’s Christmas Carnage: A Bloody Good Holiday Special Fri. December 13th – 9pm ET!
Hey there, fright fiends! 👻 Are you ready to sink your fangs into some spine-tingling Black Friday deals? We’ve scoured the darkest corners of Amazon to bring you a blood-curdling collection of horror goodies that’ll make your wallet scream with joy! From classic monsters to modern nightmares, we’ve got something to haunt every horror fan’s dreams. Let’s dive into the madness!
Before we go further – we are an amazon affiliate and if you click these links we may get money for Amazon. With that said, we won’t put up things we don’t suggest so here is the curated list as it sits for Black Friday Week 2024.
🎥 Monstrous Movie Mayhem
Bram Stoker’s Dracula 4K
Sink your teeth into Francis Ford Coppola’s visually stunning adaptation of the classic vampire tale. Watch Gary Oldman’s mesmerizing performance as the Count in glorious 4K resolution!
Christine 4K
Rev up your engines for John Carpenter’s killer car classic! This 4K edition will have you gripping your steering wheel in terror as the demonic Plymouth Fury wreaks havoc.
Akira Blu-ray
Experience the mind-bending anime masterpiece that redefined the genre. Prepare for a psychedelic journey through Neo-Tokyo that’ll leave you questioning reality!
Underworld Ultimate Collection Blu-ray
Dive into the eternal war between vampires and lycans with this action-packed collection. Kate Beckinsale’s leather-clad Selene will have you howling for more!
Resident Evil Steelbook
For the true RE fanatics, this gorgeous steelbook edition is a must-have for your collection. It’s so shiny, you can see the T-virus reflected in it!
Doctor Who Complete David Tennant Blu-ray
Okay, it’s not strictly horror, but who can resist the Weeping Angels? Join the Tenth Doctor on his time-traveling adventures and prepare for some serious sci-fi scares!
Evil Dead Blu-ray
Groovy, baby! Sam Raimi’s cult classic will have you laughing and screaming in equal measure. Remember, this is your boom stick!
Scream (2022) Steelbook
The slasher franchise that knows the rules is back with a vengeance! This meta-horror masterpiece will have you guessing who’s behind the Ghostface mask.
Leviathan 4K UHD Blu-ray
Dive deep into aquatic terror with this underrated gem from the golden age of practical effects. It’s like “The Thing” meets “The Abyss”!
📚 Bone-Chilling Books and Comics
Terrifier 2 BOOK by Tim Waggoner
Can’t get enough of Art the Clown? This novelization of the splatter sensation will paint vivid, gory pictures in your mind. Sleep tight!
The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Ominous Omnibus Vol. 3
D’oh-n’t miss out on this collection of spooky Simpsons stories! It’s the perfect way to celebrate Halloween in Springfield all year round.
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
Dive into one of King’s classic tales of psychic abilities and political intrigue. Johnny Smith’s visions will keep you on the edge of your seat!
🎮 Ghoulish Games and Collectibles
Halloween and Ash vs Evil Dead PS5
Double the horror, double the fun! Face off against Michael Myers and the Deadites in this terrifying two-pack of asymmetrical multiplayer games.
Alone in the Dark Xbox Series X
Return to Derceto Manor in this reimagining of the survival horror classic. Just remember, in the dark, you’re never truly alone…
Chucky Funko Pop
Add everyone’s favorite Good Guy doll to your collection! Just don’t turn your back on him, or you might regret it…
Harry Potter LEGO Hogwarts
Who can resist the allure of a magical and/or haunted castle? Build your own magical world and watch out for those Dementors!
🎬 The Final Cut
There you have it, horror hounds! These Black Friday deals are so good, it’s scary. Whether you’re into classic monsters, modern slashers, or cosmic horrors, Amazon’s got something to make your dark heart skip a beat.
But hurry! Like a vampire at sunrise, these deals won’t last forever. If you want to do a general search on your own, feel free to use our link here.
Remember, in the world of horror, the only thing scarier than missing out on these deals is paying full price! Happy haunting, and may your Black Friday be filled with delightful frights! 🎃👻🔪
