Weekly Wail: NFTs? Not Effing Troma!
I am one of those horror nerds that love the environment. I live on Earth, so, generally, I want to see it taken care of. For the past few months, I have been watching the insanity of NFTs and have clucked my tongue, shook my head, and disparaged those that I see across my Twitter timeline.
I was saddened to see that one of my favorite media franchises, Trailer Park Boys – I play the game, subscribe to SwearNet, etc. – went down the NFT route. I am still quite annoyed by that. Then again, it felt in character, as the show deals with greasy people. Now, sadly, another great love of mine, Troma, has dipped into the murky, toxic waters of NFTs. This feels like an extreme betrayal to what I thought was the spirit of Troma.
Troma NFTs
Troma has created a line of NFTs from their archives of film and has added them to OpenSea, one of the biggest NFT marketplaces online. If you are scratching your head, wondering what the hell and NFT is, I found that Troma’s marketing email trying to convince fans to buy NFTs has a solid, if not ill-timed, and overly optimistic explanation of what they are.
Non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, use the same blockchain technology that underpins cryptocurrencies like bitcoin to keep track of ownership and create scarcity. Purchasing an NFT typically means you have access to the same file anybody else can view or download, but you’re also granted something like a digital deed of ownership to it.
Troma’s PR Mailing List
And although NFTs have been around for years, the market for them has exploded into a bonafide frenzy in recent months as mainstream companies and investors have piled in.
In the most succinct terms, and being as fair as I can, given my inherent distaste for NFTs, they are basically digital items, like images and GIFs, that use blockchain to establish a point of origin meant to denote the ownership of the digital item. Imagine putting a serial number of a meme that states that you own that meme, even if you didn’t create it. Owning the meme also means nothing, as that data can still be widely distributed and downloaded. hell, as we’ll see later, you don’t really even own the data.
And yes, a couple of months ago, NFTs were huge. NFTs were a big concern for many artists as well, as unscrupulous scrapers would be able to download an image and turn it into an NFT to sell. That meant that if an artist posted a drawing that went viral on Twitter, for example, someone would need to tag the tweet with one of the scraper bots, and it would turn that image into an NFT “belonging” to the person who invoked the scraping. They could then put the art up for auction.
Granted, this isn’t an issue for Troma as they are making the NFTs of the content from their archives. But we need to talk about the NFT bubble that is imploding right now, as well as how goddamn awful NFTs are for the environment. The environmental impact is especially an issue given the Troma pedigree.
NFTs Ain’t Shit
If Troma is going to go down this route, they sure are late to come to the party. The NFT market has plunged severely since early this year. CNN reported as of late April that “the average price of NFTs plummeted almost 70% from a peak of around $4,000 in mid-February to around $1,400 last week. Since Bloomberg first reported the price crash on April 3, sales remain low.” Yet, tech giants and media companies are continuing to shit out these little art pieces to prop up what is a market that is doomed to fail or, at best, fluctuate wildly, just as most cryptocurrencies seem to do.
And again… and I cannot emphasize this enough. You are essentially paying for nothing. Take, for example, Twitter, which released 140 NFTs. Except in an even more ridiculous late-capitalistic joke, the recipients of the NFTs own nothing. “‘Although the NFT itself is owned by the recipient of the NFT, the Artwork and Brand associated with the NFT is licensed and not transferred or sold to such recipient.’ […] The [Twitter] spokesperson also added that the NFT recipient doesn’t own the rights to the artwork itself or any Twitter IP.”
Many industry insiders claim that there is no NFT bubble. And sure, why not? Let’s say there probably is not a bubble – let’s be optimistic. Instead, NFTs are likely bound to fluctuate like the billion dumb crypto coins out there. Looking at the market charts for these coins is like looking at the rusting chainsaw blade of Leatherface – jagged and something I’d much prefer to avoid being on the end of.
And that isn’t even getting into the environmental consequences of this shit. As early as March, the warning signs were flashing that NFTs, much like the cryptocurrency technology they are based on, are wreaking havoc on the environment.
The Verge sums this dire situation up:
Take “Space Cat,” an NFT that’s basically a GIF of a cat in a rocket heading to the Moon. Space Cat’s carbon footprint is equivalent to an EU resident’s electricity usage for two months, according to the website cryptoart.wtf. That website used to let people click through the estimated greenhouse gas emissions associated with individual NFTs until creator Memo Akten took it down on March 12th. Akten, a digital artist, had analyzed 18,000 NFTs and found that the average NFT has a carbon footprint somewhat lower than Space Cat’s but still equivalent to more than a month’s worth of electricity for a person living in the EU. Those numbers were shocking to some people. But then Akten saw that the website had been used to wrongly attribute an NFT marketplace’s emissions to a single NFT. He took the site offline after he discovered that it “has been used as a tool for abuse and harassment,” according to a note posted on the site.
The Verge’s Justine Calma continues, writing that NFTs are “largely bought and sold in marketplaces like Nifty Gateway and SuperRare that use the cryptocurrency Ethereum. Ethereum, like most major cryptocurrencies, is built on a system called “proof of work” that is incredibly energy hungry. There’s a fee associated with making a transaction on Ethereum — and, ironically, that fee is called ‘gas.'” Ethereum, not backed by a hard currency, uses complex algorithms to ensure the validity of the digital currency that requires hefty computer processing power that constantly runs, consuming a hell of a lot of power. This is the same sort of process that “mints” NFTs.
So what the Hell does this have to do with horror?
WWTD?
Troma, the house that Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz built, has a pedigree in horror and the disgusting outsider art that we love here at Haunted MTL.
Since 1974 Troma has been one of the most iconic and freshest voices in film and the iconic title card of the studio is packed with that good nostalgia. Hell, just read this copy:
Established in 1974 by Yale friends Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, Troma Entertainment is the longest-running independent movie studio in North America, and it’s one of the very few genuine brand names in the industry. Troma is world-famous for producing and distributing classic films such as Kaufman’s “The Toxic Avenger”, Trey Parker’s “Cannibal, the Musical”, “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead”, “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”, Charles Kaufman’s “Mother’s Day” and “Tromeo & Juliet”. Early works of many of today’s luminaries can be found in Troma’s library of 1000 films, cartoons, TV shows, and shorts. Jenna Fischer, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Costner, Fergie, Vincent D’Onofrio, Samuel L. Jackson, James Gunn, and Eli Roth are just a few notable Troma alumni.
Troma’s PR Mailing List
There is some iconic stuff listed there, but I think what gets me most that gets into the heart of my issue with Troma tackling NFTs, is The Toxic Avenger. It is one of the greatest movies ever made with a huge environmental message. Hell, look at the goddamn cartoon. What would Toxie do in a situation like this where a company is doing something that is harming the environment?
I am not a filmmaker, nor do I have the level of experience that Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz have, obviously. Troma has been around for decades now, and as a fan of horror and film, I hope they’ll continue to stick around. I am sure Troma is always working on the best solution to keep the good stuff coming – be that obtaining new movies for the catalog, or pursuing new ways of merchandising what they have,
Yet, I feel really, really weird about this NFT situation, especially from them. It flies against what I’ve seen as the vibe of the team there, and, honestly?
It feels too mainstream for Troma.
The sweet putrid stench of love lingers through the air which can only mean one thing…Valentine’s Day and its annoying little winged cherub, Cupid, is fast approaching. Soon, partners will be spoiling one another with extravagant bouquets of roses, heartfelt Hallmark cards, obnoxiously large teddy bears, glistening diamond jewelry, and heart-shaped candies or boxes filled with assorted mediocre chocolates. You know? Normal things couples do. I tend to prefer my chocolate boxes filled with bleeding hearts, à la ‘My Bloody Valentine’ but, beggars can’t be choosers, right? All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day is special for many couples, however, there are also many others who find themselves celebrating this day without a significant other. Luckily, Shudder, along with drive-in king Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl (Diana Prince) will graciously be keeping us lonely mutants’, and yes, all you horror fanatic couples’ company on Friday, February 10th as they return with The Last Drive-In Valentine’s Day Special, premiering live at 9pm EST.
Love Spells Abound…
Back in 2021, Joe Bob and Darcy invited us to a gruesomely passionate night of spell-binding love witches and animatronic dinosaurs infused with teenage human brains during The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob Put a Spell on You. Many, including myself, were introduced to the tantalizing 70’s inspired retro throwback ‘The Love Witch’ and the graphically goofy cult classic ‘Tammy and the T-Rex’, providing the perfect viewing pleasure to mend any broken heart. While the two films for this year’s morbid love-induced special have yet to be announced, we here at HauntedMTL are eagerly awaiting the return of the ghoulish duo. As is tradition, we will be proudly hosting a watch party on Twitter during the live broadcasting of The Last Drive-In Valentine’s Day Special. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and tag us @hauntedMTL as well as @shudder, @therealjoebob, and @kinky_horror to partake in this night of unholy love.
What started off as a one-time special premiering on Shudder July 13, 2018, ‘The Last Drive- In’ was originally meant to be Brigg’s swan song; one last special before hanging up the bolo tie in retirement. However, due to so many mutants, excuse me…viewers tuning in and breaking the Shudder servers, it was only natural to announce an official full season of ‘The Last Drive-In‘, which would make its explosive debut March 19, 2019. Since then, Darcy and Briggs have spawned many exclusive holiday specials, have graciously donated to many charities within the community, and have accumulated 4 seasons of ‘The Last Drive-In’, with a fifth currently in production premiering on Shudder’s 2023 schedule sometime this year, let’s hope sooner rather than later.
Breaking News
Coming to Shudder and AMC+ for January 2023
January 2023 Shudder and AMC+ release schedule.
2022 was an impressive year for the horror genre, as we received a slew of incredible films, many of which premiered exclusively on Shudder. However, news has recently been quiet regarding Shudders current slate of 2023 releases. This is in part due to the recent cutback in staff Shudder, as well as other AMC Network sites have recently received, including Shudder GM Craig Engler. Though the current January list is less significant than it has been in the past, we still have a few scary treats to look forward to.
Let’s kick off the bloody new year and see what will be streaming exclusively on Shudder and AMC+ for January 2023.
AMC+ Exclusive Premiers
Before we jump into Shudder’s upcoming list of exclusive streaming titles, let’s first take a peek at AMC+ and ‘Vesper‘, which made its world premiere in the Crystal Globe Competition at the 2022 Karlovy Vary International Film Festival. We’ll also touch on the much-anticipated series ‘Mayfair Witches‘, based on Anne Rice’s best-selling trilogy, Lives of the Mayfair Witches. This will be the second series in the Anne Rice Immortal Universe, which is being overseen by Mark Johnson (Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul). Johnson will also be acting as the series executive producer alongside Esta Spalding (Masters of Sex, On Becoming a God in Central Florida) and Michelle Ashford (Masters of Sex, The Pacific, John Adams), who will also act as writers for the series.
Vesper (Streaming Exclusively on AMC+ January 6th)
We kick off the new year with the sci-fi thriller ‘Vesper’, streaming exclusively on AMC+ January 6th.
Set in a bleak post-apocalyptic Earth following the collapse of our ecosystem, Vesper (Raffiella Chapman, The Theory of Everything), a rebellious 13-year-old girl who uses her survival skills to subsist in the remnants of a strange and dangerous world with her debilitating father, Darius (Richard Brake, 31 and Barbarian). After Stumbling upon a mysterious woman named Camellia (Rosy McEwen, The Alienist), solo and disoriented after an aerial crash, Vesper cautiously agrees to help find Camellia’s missing companion in exchange for safe passage to the Citadel – a dark central hub where oligarchs live in comfort courtesy of state-of-the-art biotechnology. Vesper soon discovers that her violent neighbor, Jonas (Eddie Marsan, Sherlock Holmes), has been searching for Camellia, who harbors a secret which could change their future forever. Forced into a dangerous adventure, Vesper must rely on her wits and bio-hacking skills to unlock the key to saving their lives and our planet.
Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches (New Series Premier Exclusively on AMC+ Sunday, January 8th)
Starring Alexandra Daddario (Texas Chainsaw 3D and We Summon the Darkness) as main character Rowan, who discovers she is the unlikely heir to a family of ancient and powerful witches. As she grapples with her newfound powers, Rowan must clash with a sinister presence that has tormented her family for generations. Mayfair Witches also co-stars Harry Hamlin (1981’s Clash of the Titans) as Cortland Mayfair, money and power obsessed patriarch to the Mayfair family. Jack Huston (Antebellum) as Lasher, a mysterious ghost who has haunted the Mayfair family of witches since the 1600’s, Tongayi Chirisa (Antebellum) as Ciprien Grieve, head of the town of Maska and, Beth Grant (Donnie Darko and Child’s Play 2) as Carlotta, a cruel and dangerous member of the Mayfair family of witches.
Mayfair Witches begins streaming exclusively on AMC+ Sunday, January 8th.
New Shudder film exclusives for January
Now that we’ve covered the exclusive horror and thriller premiers that will be premiering on AMC+ very soon, it’s time to get into the content we’ve been waiting for; Shudders exclusive January 2023 premiers and returning content. While the list is thin, there are still some worthy films dropping this month that usher in the new year with optimism and hope Shudder will still reign supreme as the premier horror streaming service.
Sorry About the Demon (Premiers Exclusively on Shudder January 19th)
Written and directed by Emily Hagins (Scare Package segment ‘Cold Open’) ‘Sorry About the Demon‘ is the story about a heartbroken young man named Will (played by Jon Michael Simpson) that is tricked into living in a home plagued by an evil presence. Taking residence with a family at wit’s end, an unexpected, surprising twist on ghostly haunts and demonic possession follows the film’s wildly entertaining and silly climax.
‘Sorry About the Demon’ also stars Jeff McQuity as Patrick, Olivia Ducayen as Aimee, and Paige Evans as Amy. Dave Peniuk and Sarah Cleveland costar as the film’s parents of the fractured family as Ken and Tammy Sellers, with Presley Allard and Jude Zappala playing their children Grace and Jake.
The Lair (Premiers Exclusively on Shudder January 26th)
Neil Marshall (writer/director of The Descent parts 1&2) makes his triumphant return to the genre with his latest creature-feature and eagerly anticipated film ‘The Lair’, co-written by Charlotte Kirk (The Reckoning). As Royal Air Force pilot Lt. Kate Sinclair (Charlotte Kirk) is shot down over Afghanistan and finds refuge in an abandoned underground bunker, where unbeknownst to her, deadly man-made biological weapons have been developed. Soon after Lt. Sinclaire encounters a group of soldiers, the half human, half alien monstrosities are awakened, prompting the films characters to ban together in order to escape the deadly bunker alive.
‘The Lair’ promises to deliver Marshall’s signature claustrophobic, high-octane energy filled with plenty gory and masterfully crafted practical effects, including the films’ creatures. Be sure to catch ‘The Lair’ premiering exclusively on Shudder Thursday, January 26th.
Fan favorites returning to Shudder in January
We continue our look at Shudder’s January release schedule with a couple fan favorites returning for the month including the critically acclaimed first season of ‘Chucky‘, by franchise creator Don Mancini and Andrzej Żuławski’s controversial 1981 demonic horror film ‘Possession’.
Possession (Premiers on Shudder January 5th)
Back in 1981 when Andrzej Żuławski’s film ‘Possession’ was originally released, it was met with critical backlash and banned in the UK being coined as a “video nasty”. Throughout the years, Zulawski’s disturbing masterpiece ‘Possession’ has since garnered massive praise amongst genre fans and is considered a nightmarish experience of demonic possession and crippling marriages.
‘Possession’ centers on professional spy Mark (Played by Sam Neil; ‘Jurassic Park’, ‘Event Horizon‘) returns to his West Berlin home to find his wife Anna (Isabelle Adjani; ‘Nosferatu the Vampyre‘) insistent on getting a divorce. As Anna’s frenzied behavior becomes ever more alarming, Mark discovers a truth far more sinister than his wildest suspicions. With its pulsating score, visceral imagery, and some of the most haunting performances ever captured on screen; including Anna’s possession serving as one the film’s most memorable scenes, ‘Possession’ is cinematic delirium at its most intoxicating and one I highly recommend adding to your list on January 5th.
Chucky (Complete first season returns to Shudder January 12th)
As a fan of the ‘Child’s Play‘ franchise for many years, when it was announced the iconic killer doll would be getting his own television series courtesy of SyFy and USA Network, I’ll admit, I was skeptical. My main worry being a watered-down PG-13 version of a character synonymous with crude language, catchy one-liners, and a kill count that rivals the biggest of slasher icons. Thankfully I was wrong, as the first season of ‘Chucky’ proved to be a massive hit amongst fans and critics alike, enough so to greenlight a second season. Shudder brings back the hit first season of ‘Chucky‘ for our binge worthy delights before season 2 drops for VOD and physical purchase.
After a vintage Good-Guy doll turns up at a suburban yard sale, young Jake Wheeler (Zackary Arthur) purchases the doll at a steal and takes him home to use for parts on personal art project. Unbeknownst to Jake, this seemingly lifeless doll harbors the soul of serial killer Charles Lee Ray aka Chucky (reprised by Brad Dourif; The Exorcist III and Rob Zombie’s Halloween). As the show progress, we see an idyllic American town thrown into chaos as a series of horrifying murders begin to expose the town’s hypocrisies and secrets. Meanwhile, the arrival of enemies and allies from Chucky’s past threatens to expose the truth behind the killings, as well as the demon doll’s untold origins as a seemingly ordinary child who somehow became this notorious monster. It is up to Jake and his friends Devon (Bjorgvin Arnarson) and Lexy (Alyvia Alyn Lind) to put a stop to Chucky once and for all and end his reign of terror. ‘Chucky’ also stars returning franchise alums Jennifer Tilly (Bride of Chucky, Bound) as the killer dolls equally maniacal love interest Tiffany Valentine, Alex Vincent (Child’s Play 1&2) and Christine Elise (Child’s Play 2, Body Snatchers) as Chucky’s old rivals Andy Barclay and Kyle, and of course Fiona Dourif (Curse of Chucky, Cult of Chucky) returns as fan favorite Nica Pierce. Be sure to binge the first season of ‘Chucky’ streaming on Shudder January 12th.
Additional titles Premiering on Shudder in January
For a full comprehensive list of all the titles being added to Shudder for the month of January, please refer to the graphic below. Though we are starting off the year mildly light, there are still plenty of spooky treats and surprises to look forward to throughout the year. 2023 is just getting started!
1/1:
Lake Mungo
Near Dark
1/2:
Undead
Q: The Winged Serpent
1/5:
Possession (1981)
The Wolf of Snow Hollow
1/9:
Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes
Countess Dracula
1/12:
Chucky, Season 1
1/16:
Take Back the Night
Road Games (1981)
1/19:
Sorry About the Demon
1/23
Let the Wrong One In
Isolation
1/26:
The Lair
1/30:
Death Spa
In Search of Darkness: Part 3
On the 11th day of Christmas Shudder gifted me, new series and movies! Why hello fellow mutants and Shudder aficionados, winter has fast fallen upon us bringing with it snow chilled nights, crackling embers smoldering in wood-burning fireplaces, mugs of rich hot cocoa, twinkling Christmas lights, and festive new holiday horror films to watch comfortably nestled under our blankets.
As we prepare to bid adieu to one of the genres most exciting years to date confidently strutting into 2023, Shudder has a few more frightful presents placed under our trees for us to unwrap in joyous delight. Allow me, your festive ghoul to guide you through all that will be arriving, as well as leaving Shudder for the month of December 2022, including the return of the king himself Joe Bob Briggs in ‘Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together‘ special and Joe Begos’ eagerly anticipated holiday slasher, ‘Christmas Bloody Christmas’.
New Treats and Returning Favorites
Let’s jump right into the festivities with Shudder this month with the return of their hit original series, the oh-so-horrifically fabulous The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Titans, new episodes premiering every Tuesday.
The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Titans –Now Streaming
Finding a new home in the company of Shudder, the exquisite mistresses were able to bring a vast number of loyal fans over to the premier streaming service, while garnering a warm embrace from their newly adopted mutant family. Returning with their new original series ‘The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Titans‘ reintroduces popular drag icons from the show’s previous seasons to come together and compete in horrifying challenges of drag artistry pushing these talented artists both physically and mentally. A one hundred-thousand-dollar grand prize, the headlining spot on the Boulet Brothers upcoming world tour, and the first ever “Dragula Titans” crown and title. Filled with surprising guest Judges throughout this spooktacular season including the legendary Cassandra Peterson (Elvira), Harvey Guillen, Justin Simien, David Dastmalchian, Poppy, Alaska, Katya, Shudder Alumni Joe Bob Briggs, Bonnie Aarons, Barbara Crampton, and many more. (A Shudder Original Series)
The Last Drive-In Presents: Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together – Streaming LIVE NEXT FRIDAY, December 16, at 9pm on Shudder TV, and on demand starting Sunday, December 18
When Joe Bob Briggs made his triumphant return to television with his one-time special The Last Drive-In, horror enthusiasts including myself rejoiced in excitement. I’ll admit, memories of late night ‘MonsterVision’ binges with my father instantly came flooding back to mind. Due to the specials massive success, breaking Shudder’s server engines, it’s clear we fans wanted more from Joe Bob Briggs, his lovely new mail girl Darcy (Diana Prince co-host and host of The Lost Drive-In Podcast), and The Last Drive-In. Shudder has continued to listen to its fans, as we are now 4 seasons into the show, with a 5th season already in production and a BRAND-NEW holiday special premiering exclusively on Shudder in just under 1 week.
Shudder alumni’s Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl make their festive return to celebrate Christmas in classic drive-in fashion, buckets of gratuitous gore and Joe Bob’s copious knowledge of grindhouse horror and humorous rants. The Last Drive-In’s third annual holiday special ‘Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together’ airs live on Shudder December 16th at 9pm EST, with all auctions and proceeds going to charity. And who knows, this year’s double feature might even include a holiday horror film or two… (A Shudder Original).
Be sure to join us fellow mutants at HauntedMTL on Twitter as we live tweet along with the show and celebrate the festivities alongside Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail Girl. Simply tweet @hauntedMTL as well as @shudder, @therealjoebob, and @kinky_horror so we can reply/retweet any posts you have during the live showing.
1 Brit flick, 1 Canuck flick, 20-plus outrageous auction items, 2 rants, 1 sappy letter (because Darcy always insists), the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the ghost of Bing Crosby, and oceans of Last Drive-In merch that will channel 💰 to charities that need YOU. Genuinely stoked! pic.twitter.com/x9ZpPlWXfJ
— Joe Bob Briggs (@therealjoebob) December 9, 2022
New Seasonal Shudder Original & Exclusive Movies
Provided below is a comprehensive list of new upcoming holiday horror films and their premier dates curated by Shudder. Allow me, your purveyor into all things Shudder, be your guide.
A Wounded Fawn – Now Streaming as of December 1st
Inspired by surrealist art and Greek mythology, writer/director Travis Stevens (Jakob’s Wife) makes his Shudder return with ‘A Wounded Fawn‘. Following the story of Meredith Tanning (Sarah Lind, The Humanity Bureau), a local museum curator who reluctantly begins dipping her toes back into the murky waters of the dating pool, only to be targeted by a handsomely charming serial killer (Josh Ruben, Scare Me and Werewolves Within). With sparks igniting, a fateful romantic getaway between the two quickly becomes a tense game of cat and mouse, both confronting the madness within him. (A Shudder Original)
Christmas Bloody Christmas–Now Streaming as of December 9th
One of my most anticipated releases of the year, Joe Begos (writer and director of Bliss, VFX) has made a lasting impression with his use of grindhouse gore, bright neon colors and signature psychedelic visuals. Begos continues to ride his success with this year’s Christmas Bloody Christmas. It’s Christmas Eve and spit-fire record store owner Tori Tooms (Riley Dandy, That’s Amor) just wants to celebrate Christmas getting drunk and partying, until the robotic Santa Claus at a nearby toy store malfunctions, causing Tori’s night of festive debauchery into a night of desperate survival. Jolly robot Santa Claus enacts a rampant killing spree through the flashing neon drenched snowscape against a backdrop of drugs, sex, metal and violence, ultimately forcing Tori in a night of blood splattered fisticuffs against the killer heavy metal Saint Nick. Co-starring Sam Delich (Spiderhead), Jonah Ray Rodrigues (“Mystery Science Theater 3000”), Dora Madison (Alone with You), Jeremy Gardner (After Midnight), with Jeff Daniel Phillips (The Lords of Salem, The Munsters) and Abraham Benrubi (“ER”). (A Shudder Original)
Be sure to check back next week for my full review, as I continue to provide you with more jovial horror film reviews all month long here on HauntedMTL.
The Apology-Premiering Friday, December 16th
Twenty years following the disappearance of her daughter, recovering alcoholic Darlene Hagan (Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad) is preparing to host her family’s annual Christmas celebration with the help of her next-door neighbor and close friend, Gretchen (Janeane Garofalo, Wet Hot American Summer). Arriving at their family house unannounced late Christmas Eve, Darlene’s estranged ex-brother-in-law, Jack (Linus Roache, Mandy) comes bearing nostalgic gifts and a heavy secret. Soon, Darlene finds herself caught between reason and ruthless instinct. Trapped together by a dangerous storm, a battle of wits escalates to a savage game of revenge. Written and directed by Alison Locke in her first full feature debut, ‘The Apology‘ is sure to fill your chilly nights with unsettling nightmares. (A Shudder Exclusive)
Scare Package II: Rad Chad’s Revenge – Premieres Thursday, December 22
With the surprising success of Scare Package, it’s only obvious director and co-creator Aaron B. Koontz delivers his follow-up ‘Scare Package II: Rad Chad’s Revenge‘ exclusively to Shudder, offering new and hilariously fun practical effects along the way. When horror guru Rad Chad Buckley’s funeral turns into an elaborate series of death traps centered around the deceased’s favorite scary movies, the guests must band together and use the classic rules of horror to survive Chad’s bloody game. Maintaining the anthology structure from its predecessor:
Core Story: Rad Chad’s Revenge directed by Aaron B. Koontz.
Segments: Welcome to the 90’s directed by Alexandra Barreto, The Night He Came Back Again Part VI – The Night She Came Back directed by Anthony Cousins, Special Edition directed by Jed Shepherd, and We’re So Dead directed by Rachele Wiggins. (A Shudder Original)
Burial – Premieres Thursday, December 29
Set in 1945 during the final days of WWII, a band of Allied soldiers trafficking Hitler’s remains out of Germany are ambushed by Nazi Wehrwolf fighters. Burial is a gritty fresh take on the werewolf subgenre acting as both a political thriller period piece and bloody creature feature. Directed and written by Ben Park (Girl on the Third Floor) and starring Charlotte Vega (2021’s Wrong Turn remake), Tom Felton (Harry Potter series, be sure to check out the massive amount of selfless work in charity he’s done over on his Instagram livestream @t22felton), Harriet Walter, Barry Ward, Dan Renton Skinner and Bill Milner. (A Shudder Exclusive)
The Unhappy Holiday Collection; for the Grinch in you!
Are you like me and completely dread the holidays? They’re stressful, expensive, and the dreary weather brings anything but a festive spirit. However, with the holidays comes beautiful decorations, excuses to bundle up in hooded sweaters and loose sweatpants, and of course, new yuletide tales of terror along with returning classic favorites. Let your Grinch flag fly and celebrate this season with Shudder’s “Unhappy Holidays Collection.” New additions this month include Night of the Comet (12/1), Christmas Bloody Christmas (12/9), along with current Shudder titles Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out, Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: The Initiation, Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker, To All A Good Night, Black Christmas (1974), Christmas Evil, Better Watch Out, A Christmas Horror Story, All The Creatures Were Stirring, Christmas Presence, Deadly Games, Blood Beat, The Advent Calendar, A Creepshow Holiday Special, and a personal favorite of mine, The Christmas “Ghoul Log
Killer Classics Returning to Shudder’s Library
For a full comprehensive list of everything returning to Shudder throughout the month of December, be sure to sign up for Shudder now to receive monthly notifications sent directly to your email and your first 7 days free. Offering an abundance of categories, award winning exclusives including The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs, and membership plans starting as low as $5.99 per month, Shudder is the perfect gift for the lovable and dorky horror junkies in your lives.
December 1
Night of the Comet: A huge comet passes near the earth, vaporizing nearly the whole planet. Only a few teenagers (Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney), survive–all those outside… turned to dust. Those few partially exposed people who survived are now mutated, blood-thirsty zombies begin a deadly hunt for the last remaining humans to feast upon their flesh.
December 12
The Police Are Blundering in the Dark: During an outbreak of violent murders in the area targeting young women, a journalist searching for a female friend gone missing ends up in a villa owned by an eccentric photographer.
The Killer is One of Thirteen: A widow invites thirteen guests to stay at her rural mansion. She reveals to them that she suspects whoever killed her husband must be one of them. Soon, they too are being murdered one by one.
Girl in Room 2A: A sadistic killer cult kidnaps and sacrifices beautiful women. A young girl, just paroled from prison, moves into a strange house and appears to be the cult’s next victim.
The French Sex Murders: A man is accused of killing his favorite prostitute in a French brothel. He’s tried and sentenced to death. He tries to escape but dies during pursuit. Soon, people connected to the case are killed one by one.
Autopsy: This lurid giallo stars Mimsy Farmer (Four Flies on Grey Velvet) as a morgue worker who begins investigating a series of suicides that she comes to suspect may actually be murders. Helping her with the case is a priest who’s prone to violent outbursts. Could his short fuse be because his sister was a recent victim – or is he the man behind the crimes? The only thing certain in this fast-paced fright film is that nothing is certain.
Murder Mansion: A couple, lost in thick fog, take refuge in an old mansion next to a cemetery. Strange things start to happen.
Crazy Desires of a Murderer: A rich girl invites a few of her friends, including one she befriended during a recent trip to Asia, to her family manor to spend the weekend. Soon, someone gets horribly killed, and secrets and dark desires begin to unravel.
Arabella Black Angel: Arabella is a nymphomaniac who has sex with any man. One day, her husband, a writer, meets her and another man. She has a strange reaction: kills the lover. Her husband hides the corpse. From that moment on, he encourages her meetings with other men, and writes down the experiences in his new book.
The Killer is Still Among Us: During a spree of violent killings, a young woman writing a thesis in criminology begins to suspect that her new boyfriend, who is a forensic pathologist, might be a serial killer.
The Sister of Ursula: While searching for their estranged mother, two beautiful sisters, Dagmar and Ursula, arrive at a luxurious seaside hotel. At the same time, a mysterious killer starts murdering promiscuous women in the area
Keep checking HauntedMTL.com, as well as follow us on Twitter and Instagram @_hauntedmtl_ for all your latest Shudder news, provided by yours truly. Now, grab your remote, dim the lights, kick back and enjoy what remains of 2022 with a nice helping of Christmas horror movies with the whole family if you dare.
