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5 years ago

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This Friday the 13th reboot experiment has been a pretty fun ride so far, hasn’t it? We’re entering the final half of the mini-series concept with this installment. Make sure you read the two prior installments as well.

We open with Sheriff Savini pulling up to the Voorhees property line, but we notice that there is no sign of the Deputy’s car from earlier. Savini seems confused and parks at the overgrown access road. He approaches the cabin, gun drawn, enters, and is immediately axed in the shoulder by Pamela. We cut to the title sequence and then return to Pamela observing her handiwork. She picks up the walkie on Savini’s belt, tastes a bit of blood from his shoulder, and then channeling some dark force radios into the station in Savini’s voice.

She mentions that everything is fine and that everyone should just pick up tomorrow, after all, “I already sent Cunningham and Hodder home for now. Miss Voorhees is alright for the night.”

Back at Camp Crystal Lake, Alice is exhausted from studying the events surrounding the camp and heads to bed. After all, the kids arrive in a few hours. We see the arrival of the kids and how excited they are to be there the next morning. We catch up with our various counselors and support staff dealing with a nearly unmanageable amount of children. We catch the tail end of the opening ceremony and the kids are then encouraged to enjoy the free day at the camp as activities will start the next day.

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Two junior counselors, local teens we’ll catch glimpses of in previous episodes, step into woods to fuck. After all, this is a Friday the 13th project. We see them enter the treeline. We also see a nearby kid, engrossed in nature, enter another spot in the treeline, unsupervised. We show both these moments with a predatory camera gaze.

Alice, concerned about her research has been a bit distracted in watching the kids. Eddie Jarvis notices and criticizes her, suggesting she needs to focus on keeping an eye on the kids, as safety is everything. This is immediately undercut by Pamela leaping from the brush with an ax and murdering the two teens, mid-coitus. She collects some of their blood in what seems to be a Vietnam-era canteen. A little sustenance for Jason.

Evening approaches, and kids are being rounded up for bed. Eddie notices two missing counselors and a kid and is absolutely mortified this happened under his watch. He has several of the counselors start looking in the nearby woods. Alice tries to call the police but the dispatcher says she hasn’t seen Sheriff Savini all day, and she will send the first deputy she can out to the camp. Alice is frustrated and opts to join up with the search in the woods. As she leaves the cabin she takes a knife with her, wary of the events. Meanwhile, Eddie heads to the sheriff’s office intent to get some assistance.

Alice enters the woods, and over the span of an hour or so Pamela has picked off a number of the searchers. Alice stumbles upon one grisly scene and almost has a breakdown. She steadies herself enough to push onward. She hears the whimpering and crying of a child and finds the kid who had wandered into the woods by himself earlier. As she approaches, Pamela grabs the child and holds her ax blade to his head. Alice confronts Pamela, and Pamela gives the iconic speech about the death of her son.

We also learn that it is Friday the 13th. Jason’s “rebirthday.”

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Alice draws her knife and Pamela darts back into the woods, dragging the kid by the wrist. Alice gives chase, trying to dial Sheriff Savini on her cell but gets no answer. Alice is the only chance the kid has.

Alice continues to give chase, losing sight of Pamela, but finds her way to the Voorhees property. She approaches the property from the back where the Deputy patrol car is parked, along with Sheriff Savini’s own vehicle. Alice creeps around but hears nothing. She enters the cabin and sees signs of a terrible struggle. She tries calling Savini again and hears his cell from the floor below her.

It is then that a crazed Pamela strikes, pushing the child between her and Alice. Alice manages to dodge and Pamela throws the child to the ground and continues to wildly swing the ax at Alice who only manages a couple of glancing blows. In the struggle, the child tries to escape but Pamela kicks him violently down the stairs into the basement.

Alice finally manages to get the upper hand when she slashes at Pamela’s wrist, forcing her to drop her ax. She then secures it and moves to strike Pamela. Pamela begins to whisper some form of spell until she is cut short by Alice’s swing. Pamela’s severed-head lands with a thump on the wooden floor.

Alice, worked up, heads to the basement to check on the kid. The basement is dark, but Alice is able to find a dangling bulb. She turns the light on only to be confronted by a massive, chained up Jason. In a single hand, he holds up the lifeless body of the child. And only mere feet away is the corpse of Sheriff Savini.

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Jason throws the corpse of the child at the wall with enough force that the body splits open slightly and he begins to move toward Alice. His chains strain and rattle and Alice runs screaming from the basement. Jason tugs at his chains until they rip from the stone wall of the basement and he begins his march toward the stair.

Suddenly, the hand of Sheriff Savini grabs Jason’s ankle. Using his last bit of life left, he tries to slow the titanic killer down. Jason merely brings his massive foot down on Savini’s skull, crushing it. Jason gets to the top of the stair and sees Alice already on the run outside. Jason is about to give chase until he sees the two-part corpse of his mother. He cradles her head and begins to howl.

He grabs the ax that was resting near Pamela’s torso and moves toward the door, but he sees himself in the mirror. He sees himself for the first time in years. He is enraged by how he looks and smashes the glass. He looks around the room for a way to hide his shame. He steps over to his mother’s torso and tears a bloodsoaked sleeve off of her sweater. He tears open an eye hole with his teeth and puts the mask on like a sock over his head. He stands there for a moment, shuddering. Pam’s voice sounds in his head: “Kill them, Jason. Kill them all!”

Masked and axed, Jason runs out the door after Alice.

Eddie Jarvis arrives at the sheriff’s office and grabs a deputy to bring back to the camp, as everyone else is tied up looking into the missing officers and is on the way to the Voorhees property.

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In the woods, Jason stalks Alice, not quite running as his long legs carry him far with each step. As he moves we see police lights in the distance casting strange beams and shadows in the woods.

Jason Voorhees is heading back to Camp Crystal Lake for the first time since his accident.

Related posts:

  1. Weekly Wail: In which I try to reboot Friday the 13th.
  2. Weekly Wail: My Friday the 13th Reboot – Chapter Two: The Woman in the Woods
  3. Weekly Wail: My Friday the 13th Reboot – Chapter Four: Camp Blood Forever
  4. Weekly Wail – Creepy Crawling
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David Davis is a writer, cartoonist, and educator in Southern California with an M.A. in literature and writing studies.

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Breaking News

Joe Bob’s Christmas Carnage: A Bloody Good Holiday Special Fri. December 13th – 9pm ET!

Published

2 weeks ago

on

December 8, 2024

By

🎅🏼🔪 Brace yourselves for a blood-soaked holiday extravaganza! 🎄💀

Joe Bob’s Christmas Carnage is coming to town, and it’s not for the faint of heart! Catch this killer special on Shudder and AMC+ TV feeds Friday, December 13th at 9pm ET/8c, or stream it on-demand starting December 15th.

What’s in Santa’s bag of horrors? 🎁

Two spine-chilling holiday horror flicks

So much gore, even Rudolph’s nose will turn pale

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A charity auction that’ll make your wallet scream (in a good way!)

Joe Bob and Darcy are decking the halls with boughs of terror, auctioning off:

  • Rare AF props from The Last Drive-In
  • Exclusive merch that’ll make your horror-loving heart skip a beat
  • Joe Bob’s personal keepsakes from his 35-year reign of terror in the industry

But wait, there’s more…

Join the HauntedMTL crew for a spine-tingling side quest on Threads (https://www.threads.net/@_hauntedmtl_)! We’re going live as our very own Jim Phoenix breaks the bank for charity, adding an extra layer of terror to your Joe Bob experience. It’s like getting two scoops of horror in your bloody sundae! 🍦💀

Those britches are mine, bitches! -Jim circa the year of Darcy’s panties.

And because we love our fellow fiends, we’re stuffing your stockings with some killer swag! That’s right, HauntedMTL followers have a chance to win some seriously spooky goodies. It’s our way of saying “thanks for being part of our nightmare before Christmas!” 🎁👻

So, while Joe Bob and Darcy are slashing through their winter wonderland, hop over to Threads and join the HauntedMTL fam. It’s a horror-day party you won’t want to miss! Remember: the more you engage, the better your chances of scoring some haunted swag. Let’s make this a Christmas to dismember! 🔪🎄

Wanna know which flicks we’re slashing through? Tune in December 13th on Shudder to find out! 🍿🔪

Your holiday shopping spree will support these awesome causes:
Pacific Marine Mammal Center

Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation

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Family Promise

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Don’t be a Grinch – join the carnage and spread some bloody good cheer! 🎅🏼🔪🎄

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Related posts:

  1. The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs returns to Shudder
  2. The Last Drive-In Season 5 Premiering April 21st Exclusively on Shudder!
  3. Shudder News Roundup: Comic-Con@Home Vol. II
  4. Shudder December 2022 Holiday Horrors Schedule
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Breaking News

🎃 Unleash the Terror: Epic Black Friday 2024 Deals for Horror Fans on Amazon! 🧟‍♂️

Published

4 weeks ago

on

November 21, 2024

By

Hey there, fright fiends! 👻 Are you ready to sink your fangs into some spine-tingling Black Friday deals? We’ve scoured the darkest corners of Amazon to bring you a blood-curdling collection of horror goodies that’ll make your wallet scream with joy! From classic monsters to modern nightmares, we’ve got something to haunt every horror fan’s dreams. Let’s dive into the madness!

Before we go further – we are an amazon affiliate and if you click these links we may get money for Amazon. With that said, we won’t put up things we don’t suggest so here is the curated list as it sits for Black Friday Week 2024.

🎥 Monstrous Movie Mayhem

Bram Stoker’s Dracula 4K

Sink your teeth into Francis Ford Coppola’s visually stunning adaptation of the classic vampire tale. Watch Gary Oldman’s mesmerizing performance as the Count in glorious 4K resolution!

Christine 4K

Rev up your engines for John Carpenter’s killer car classic! This 4K edition will have you gripping your steering wheel in terror as the demonic Plymouth Fury wreaks havoc.

Akira Blu-ray

Experience the mind-bending anime masterpiece that redefined the genre. Prepare for a psychedelic journey through Neo-Tokyo that’ll leave you questioning reality!

Underworld Ultimate Collection Blu-ray

Dive into the eternal war between vampires and lycans with this action-packed collection. Kate Beckinsale’s leather-clad Selene will have you howling for more!

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Resident Evil Steelbook

For the true RE fanatics, this gorgeous steelbook edition is a must-have for your collection. It’s so shiny, you can see the T-virus reflected in it!

Doctor Who Complete David Tennant Blu-ray

Okay, it’s not strictly horror, but who can resist the Weeping Angels? Join the Tenth Doctor on his time-traveling adventures and prepare for some serious sci-fi scares!

Evil Dead Blu-ray

Groovy, baby! Sam Raimi’s cult classic will have you laughing and screaming in equal measure. Remember, this is your boom stick!

Scream (2022) Steelbook

The slasher franchise that knows the rules is back with a vengeance! This meta-horror masterpiece will have you guessing who’s behind the Ghostface mask.

Leviathan 4K UHD Blu-ray

Dive deep into aquatic terror with this underrated gem from the golden age of practical effects. It’s like “The Thing” meets “The Abyss”!

📚 Bone-Chilling Books and Comics

Terrifier 2 BOOK by Tim Waggoner

Can’t get enough of Art the Clown? This novelization of the splatter sensation will paint vivid, gory pictures in your mind. Sleep tight!

The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Ominous Omnibus Vol. 3

D’oh-n’t miss out on this collection of spooky Simpsons stories! It’s the perfect way to celebrate Halloween in Springfield all year round.

The Dead Zone by Stephen King

Dive into one of King’s classic tales of psychic abilities and political intrigue. Johnny Smith’s visions will keep you on the edge of your seat!

🎮 Ghoulish Games and Collectibles

Halloween and Ash vs Evil Dead PS5

Double the horror, double the fun! Face off against Michael Myers and the Deadites in this terrifying two-pack of asymmetrical multiplayer games.

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Alone in the Dark Xbox Series X

Return to Derceto Manor in this reimagining of the survival horror classic. Just remember, in the dark, you’re never truly alone…

Chucky Funko Pop

Add everyone’s favorite Good Guy doll to your collection! Just don’t turn your back on him, or you might regret it…

Harry Potter LEGO Hogwarts

Who can resist the allure of a magical and/or haunted castle? Build your own magical world and watch out for those Dementors!

🎬 The Final Cut

There you have it, horror hounds! These Black Friday deals are so good, it’s scary. Whether you’re into classic monsters, modern slashers, or cosmic horrors, Amazon’s got something to make your dark heart skip a beat.

But hurry! Like a vampire at sunrise, these deals won’t last forever. If you want to do a general search on your own, feel free to use our link here.

Remember, in the world of horror, the only thing scarier than missing out on these deals is paying full price! Happy haunting, and may your Black Friday be filled with delightful frights! 🎃👻🔪

Related posts:

  1. Shudder News Roundup
  2. Shudder Content Guide: February 2021
  3. Joe Bob’s Halloween Hoedown – October 8th on Shudder
  4. Shudder Acquires Sundance Midnight Official Selection ‘Speak No Evil’
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Editorial

Rock the Vote for Real

Published

2 months ago

on

November 3, 2024

By

Star spangled costume identity portrait of myself - Rock the Vote
Star spangled costume identity portrait of myself

If you live in the United States, it’s time to rock the vote for real. I shared this video before in conjunction with my identity-based costume work, and I feel it’s important to revisit now, with the election coming up in just a few days. Besides which, Jack Black and Tenacious D are brilliant and given the current political climate, who doesn’t want to do the time warp? But seriously, get out and rock the vote, your life kinda does depend on it (at least insomuch as being able to make for yourself the life that you want, without the government telling you how to do so – especially if you live on the fringes of socially acceptable awkwardness like me and so many of my friends).

tenacious d rock-y the vote

Besides which, this video is so good, it’s worth sharing again anyway. And again, if for some reason the video doesn’t load, you can find it here.

Tow Away Zone photograph of sign and flag as found by Jennifer Weigel
Tow Away Zone photograph of sign and flag as found by Jennifer Weigel
Tow Away Zone photograph in flag form
Tow Away Zone photograph in flag form

Art Attack

And here are some artworks I made awhile back as political commentary. The photograph was shot of the scene exactly as found, of a sign above a parking lot in a quickly gentrifying neighborhood making sure all knew that any unauthorized vehicles were unwelcome, and hung right in front of a flag that was tattered and torn from being caught on the chain link fence driving the point home. The flags were meant to be interactive, with gallerygoers waving them while singing The Star Spangled Banner in its elitist entirety. The whole really spoke to me regarding some of the political climate at the time (this was right before Trump was elected President the first time). How much has changed since then? In some ways, a lot. In other ways, I guess we shall see.

Related posts:

  1. Class-Conscious Horror: What about Homeless Horror?
  2. Weekly Wail: Music to be Murdered by
  3. Weekly Wail – Five Pandemic Movies to Watch for Next Week
  4. Weekly Wail: I wandered into that fun side of YouTube again
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