Weekly Wail: This is a Takeover!!!!
Hello everyone, I’m Dave. I am going to talk to you about comics and zombies. I’m Joe (Jim?) Bob Brigg’s number 1 fan. And I have an interesting taste in music and look pretty rad in Hawaiian shirts.
Ha! I fooled you all!
Do not adjust your phone screen. I am in control of the horizontal and the vertical.
This is an official take over of the Weekly Wail by J.M. Brannyk! And in honor of Pride kicking off this week: I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m asking you to wear your g–d— mask!
This week is going to be a get-real week in horror, as this has been a few weeks of get-real moments, right? A lot of unrest, a lot of hurt people. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you since the social media sites do a good job of overwhelming us with it.
I’m no randy when it comes to get-real fireside chats. I’ve talked about non-binary monsters, racist surfers, HIV zombies, the horror of loss, and queer sexual awakenings alongside reviving the dead.
So, I’m here to bring it to a story, a common story in horror – duality.
du·al·i·ty: an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism
A tale as old as time, some may say, as many cultures carry their own forms of duality – the human and monster as one entity. The light within the darkness and vice-versa.
We have mother and destroyer in Bloody Mary. There is Frankenstein’s monster in the strange conundrum of both alive and dead. The male and female, both victim and killer, of Normal Bates. We have the up-right Dr. Jekyll and the hideous Mr. Hyde. And these are coupled with other legends and creatures from across the globe (trust me, I’ll be talking about those in the future).
I often feel like this, myself. The social norms of duality – sex, gender, sexuality, and identity. I struggle with this. The same coin of gender and bisexuality is neatly hidden under the pocket of my persona, my “human” face.
Today for this little fireside chat, I’m going to talk about one specific monster, one of the classic Big Five, and its human counterpart and what that means to me as being LGBT.
The Wolf Man
Growing up queer, I didn’t have any role models I could identify with. To be honest, I didn’t even know the words for my feelings. I just had feelings, and I became acutely aware that I was alone in these. As a child, no matter how many Care Bears and Ninja Turtle repeats you watch, you learn very quickly that being different is something to be suppressed, not celebrated.
Being different was a curse.
I remember the first time watching Teen Wolf, the great 80’s Michael J. Fox movie. When our main character, Scott, was absolutely freaking out because he was changing into a werewolf during school and afraid of being discovered as a werewolf, I thought, “Yes, exactly! Yes, that’s me!”
That was how I felt. I had to be careful. I had to hide these “imperfections” and “differences” from others. If I was being bullied for even the slightest of things, there was no way that something so big, so monstrous, would be overlooked. To hide this, I over-compensated. I refused to look at others, to engage with them. In doing so, I protected myself, I thought.
And one would think that I would be relieved that once Scott was discovered to be a werewolf that he became popular, loved, and accepted by his peers, but instead I felt betrayed by Hollywood. I knew that it was a lie, just a convenient lie to push the story. People, especially my peers, were not that accepting and were not that kind.
Unlike the teen counterpart, we usually see the adult human of the wolfman being constantly terrified of his other half, of either its lack of control, the hysteria from the community, or damnation of their soul. Always on high alert, sweaty, and a half-crazed glaze in their eyes. They barely can keep themselves together as humans, let alone their “cursed” side. They could barely be human because of that other lurking just below the consciousness.
This was more my speed. It wasn’t just a complete erasure of my “tells’, but of my feelings, too. This other side of me – this monstrous and unwanted side – was chaotic and wild. It was primitive and dangerous. It was hungry and I feared it.
You see, in werewolf movies, unlike some other types of monster movies, you don’t have a mentor to steer your way. There isn’t an old, grizzled John Leguizamo-type to tell you, “All right, kid, here’s how you do it…”
There’s no hierarchy, no coven. No rules or order.
It is alone: that’s part of the curse.
Very rarely do werewolves have their own family or “brood” in movies. Yes, Underworld, sure, Teen Wolf, and…yes, Twilight.
But if we look at others, the curse of being solitary persists.You are alone to deal with your own curse, even with the rare support of others. They do not fully understand you…and, deep down, they still fear you. You are still a monster to them, no matter how much they love and “accept” you. Some want to change you. Some want to ignore that part of you. Some try their very best, but there is always that void between you.
And, one of the worst points of all, many stories express over and over (The Wolf Man, Ginger Snaps, The Curse of the Werewolf, An American Werewolf in London, Monster Squad, Penny Dreadful), that it is not their fault that they are cursed or are monsters – they just are. Good people by day, hellhounds for Satan’s bidding of carnal lust and blood at night. They have no efficacy or agency in their lives and in their destruction. They are powerless victims of their own desires, their demonic and wicked desires.
Love the sinner, hate the sin.
The werewolves usually all die in the end, by the hero’s hand, with gratitude on their dying breath…
Maybe this sounds hyperbolic to you. And hey, I can’t tell you what or how to think. I can only go based off my own experiences and feelings about it.
Even now, as a much more healthy and authentic adult, I am quiet. I am selective to whom I out myself to in my “human” persona. In this unsteady environment, it’s scary and it’s dangerous. Even now, to this day, as my “human” self, I am cautious, nervous. I feel out the situation several times, smell the air for danger, before I can be open with someone.It’s not much different from villagers with pitchforks, except it’s losing my job, losing my house, and losing the very small scraps of support I allow. I am discrete. I am passing. But, I also feel alone.
When people ask about me, there are places I don’t or can’t go into. To be honest, atheism is easier to talk about than my queerness because that was a choice. These feelings and pull of duality were not a choice.
However, the lesson is that this isn’t a curse, and more importantly, we are not alone.
Just yesterday, after several minutes of coy questions, goose-stepping, feeling out, and taking a leap of faith, I found out that one of my friends, a “human” friend, that I’ve known the past few years is a “wolf” just like me. And to find that connection is both saddening and relieving. Sad that to this day, there is so much vetting between two people, two friends, that needs to be done to feel safe.
But we are not cursed. We are not monsters. We are not a duality, but a mix, as all humans are.
Yesterday I was relieved because I realized that there are more out there, more that are smelling the air, watching for signs. We are afraid, but we are not alone. And that’s the thing, my friends, my silent and anxious LGBT+ werewolves out there, we do have our own brood, our own coven. We have a family. We’re not alone in this.
We just have to be brave enough to find it.
** Please be sure to donate to The Trevor Project, or if you want to show my hometown of Detroit some love, The Ruth Ellis Center could always use it. Stay brave, and above all, stay safe.**
Thank you to all our allies out there. We don’t always know you’re there, so it’s always a delight to find you.
Good news to my nonbinary pals – we no longer exist!
“But Brannyk,” you may be thinking, “what am I supposed to do now that I am no longer a real being? How shall I spend my days?”
Unfortunately, the government has not released a handbook for this occasion, so I thought we could brainstorm together.
BECOME A GHOST
There are some benefits to being a ghost, for sure.
No rent or insurance payment. No corporate job, no cleaning cat litter, no AT&T trying to sell you another line after repeatedly telling them that you just want to make sure that your autopayment is on, but they’re all like, ‘Why would you pass up such a bargain on a second line? Are you an idiot? Why wouldn’t you need another phone line?‘ and so you have to tell them, “Because I’M DIVORCED, ASSHOLE, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF THAT!”
Ahem. I digress.
Yeah, you may not be able to venture out, much like Adam and Barbara in Beetlejuice. You may need to put up with someone else crashing your place and moving around all of your shit. Or Ryan Reynolds trying to sell you Mint Mobile. Or some toxic couple taking your creepy doll that you spent years on trying to possess.
Or, my absolute biggest pet peeve, when you’re practicing for the ghost speed chair-stacking championship and the normies just don’t appreciate your cool skills.
But the advantages are that you get to stay home, watch tv, stack your chairs and hope whoever buys your house/visits your creepy woods/gentrifies your neighborhood is a cool person, too.
(2 / 5)
It’s a good choice, but has a lot of drawbacks.
BECOME A CREATURE
Look, if you’re not going to exist, go big or go home, I’d say.
Monsters are cool. They play by their own rules. Sometimes they cause havoc. Sometimes they come around and help people. Sometimes they work alone. And other times, they have a lot of friends. Sometimes they just need some affirmation. And sometimes they’re…in high school, apparently?
The cool thing is that they come in all shapes and sizes.
Monsters are generally misunderstood. Some have their fans. Others are hated.
So basically, just like people, except with more tentacles.
The only downsides are that you might be too big or too “ick” for some people (these can also be pluses), you may have a taste for human flesh (no judgement), or the biggest issue – there are too many choices.
You could get stuck trying to figure out what kind of monster you are. If you’re not into labels, it’s an absolute nightmare. Or if you’re like me, it’ll be like standing in Subway for 15 minutes trying to figure out what toppings and dressings you want while the “sandwich artist” is openly judging you.
(4 / 5)
I like the customization, but it can be a bit too overwhelming.
BECOME A CRYPTID
Hear me out. I know it seems a lot like the monster category, but it’s not quite.
Cryptids are weird and mysterious. They keep to themselves. They have people who are fascinated by them and post on Reddit about them. Some have people making documentaries about them.
They’re like monsters’ quieter cousin who reads books in the corner at family gatherings. They collect shiny things they find by the side of the road. Sometimes they’ll steal a peanut butter sandwich or two.
Ever so often, they might scare a human just by existing or by politely asking for their stuff back.
Each one kinda has their own goals and priorities. Their own hangouts and interests. But unlike monsters, they’re not looking to rock any boats-
Never mind, I stand corrected.
(5 / 5)
I like the freedoms of being a cryptid and also dig the cottage-core vibe I get from them.
CONCLUSION: LET’S BE REAL FOR A SECOND…
I know it’s hard right now. It’s going to be hard. You may not exist to some assholes, but you are real. You have real feelings and thoughts and dreams. You have a real future. You have real decisions. Real actions that affect this world.
You have the real ability to wake up tomorrow and choose to exist. And for whatever reason you choose. Use it. Ghosts and monsters and cryptids are powerful, just like you are, even when you don’t feel like it. They have a place in our human world, just like you do. You make this world interesting and important.
You are part of this world, you are real, and you are not alone.
The horror community is one of acceptance, diversity, creativity and passion. In these times, it needs to be. We need to rely on each other. We need to cultivate and protect each other, as much as we need to protect ourselves.
And it looks like I’ll be coming out of my own cryptid hovel I’ve spent the past few years in to remind you that. My job isn’t done. Not by a longshot. And neither is yours.
You exist to me. Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Be safe out there, friends.
If you live in the United States, it’s time to rock the vote for real. I shared this video before in conjunction with my identity-based costume work, and I feel it’s important to revisit now, with the election coming up in just a few days. Besides which, Jack Black and Tenacious D are brilliant and given the current political climate, who doesn’t want to do the time warp? But seriously, get out and rock the vote, your life kinda does depend on it (at least insomuch as being able to make for yourself the life that you want, without the government telling you how to do so – especially if you live on the fringes of socially acceptable awkwardness like me and so many of my friends).
Besides which, this video is so good, it’s worth sharing again anyway. And again, if for some reason the video doesn’t load, you can find it here.
Art Attack
And here are some artworks I made awhile back as political commentary. The photograph was shot of the scene exactly as found, of a sign above a parking lot in a quickly gentrifying neighborhood making sure all knew that any unauthorized vehicles were unwelcome, and hung right in front of a flag that was tattered and torn from being caught on the chain link fence driving the point home. The flags were meant to be interactive, with gallerygoers waving them while singing The Star Spangled Banner in its elitist entirety. The whole really spoke to me regarding some of the political climate at the time (this was right before Trump was elected President the first time). How much has changed since then? In some ways, a lot. In other ways, I guess we shall see.
So on my recent road trip to Miami AZ USA for my menstruation art installation, we decided to detour to Roswell NM en route home. To be honest, this was one of the best decisions of my life, up there with road trippin’ from Arizona to San Francisco along CA-Highway 1, and I will go into the details of why here soon.
Roswell NM USA has totally embraced its alien history of the UFO crash in the late 1940s and subsequent government cover up. The whole town is alien-happy with beautiful hand carved wood totems, murals and statues everywhere celebrating otherworldly denizens of all types, though predominantly the gray aliens of the crash (and their green counterparts). Even the city logo features a flying saucer as the center of the letter “R”. It really is kind of incredible.
One of the biggest draws is the International UFO Museum and Research Center, housed in the wonderful old theater building. This museum details the crash history as well as celebrating aliens in movies and media and examining newer alien sightings and abductions. It is very thorough and includes maquettes, statues, written accounts and an extensive research library, as well as an interesting art collection of various items.
And there are TONS of fun alien themed curiosity shops. I will give a shout out to the newer Invasion Station north on Main Street where there had once been an old car dealership. I love the quirky nature of this particular store as well as their strong desire to promote local artists. Most of their wares are hand-painted in NM and feature designs by prominent local artists including one of the lead muralists in town (I bought a magnet of his). They also feature really alternative kitsch like KISS and Ace Frehley alien bobbleheads, marijuana and anal references, and such. All in all, our own Haunted MTL’s kinda folks…
And the city is a huge tourist draw internationally, so you can meet some amazing and interesting folks from all walks of life who have caught the alien bug or at least want to check out all the hype. As a result of the tourism, the residents seem really laid back and accommodating (kind of like Hawaii but not quite as much) and there is a thriving art scene. And it’s totally my kind of art – weird and a little creepy. Anyway, I feel like I’ve finally found my peeps and am eager to return someday.
If you’re feeling a bit extraterrestrial, I invite you to also check out some of my alien-themed stories here on Haunted MTL: LTD UFOs among us; my Drive-By short story; and LTD Abducted.