Weekly Wail: NFTs? Not Effing Troma!
I am one of those horror nerds that love the environment. I live on Earth, so, generally, I want to see it taken care of. For the past few months, I have been watching the insanity of NFTs and have clucked my tongue, shook my head, and disparaged those that I see across my Twitter timeline.
I was saddened to see that one of my favorite media franchises, Trailer Park Boys – I play the game, subscribe to SwearNet, etc. – went down the NFT route. I am still quite annoyed by that. Then again, it felt in character, as the show deals with greasy people. Now, sadly, another great love of mine, Troma, has dipped into the murky, toxic waters of NFTs. This feels like an extreme betrayal to what I thought was the spirit of Troma.
Troma NFTs
Troma has created a line of NFTs from their archives of film and has added them to OpenSea, one of the biggest NFT marketplaces online. If you are scratching your head, wondering what the hell and NFT is, I found that Troma’s marketing email trying to convince fans to buy NFTs has a solid, if not ill-timed, and overly optimistic explanation of what they are.
Non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, use the same blockchain technology that underpins cryptocurrencies like bitcoin to keep track of ownership and create scarcity. Purchasing an NFT typically means you have access to the same file anybody else can view or download, but you’re also granted something like a digital deed of ownership to it.
Troma’s PR Mailing List
And although NFTs have been around for years, the market for them has exploded into a bonafide frenzy in recent months as mainstream companies and investors have piled in.
In the most succinct terms, and being as fair as I can, given my inherent distaste for NFTs, they are basically digital items, like images and GIFs, that use blockchain to establish a point of origin meant to denote the ownership of the digital item. Imagine putting a serial number of a meme that states that you own that meme, even if you didn’t create it. Owning the meme also means nothing, as that data can still be widely distributed and downloaded. hell, as we’ll see later, you don’t really even own the data.
And yes, a couple of months ago, NFTs were huge. NFTs were a big concern for many artists as well, as unscrupulous scrapers would be able to download an image and turn it into an NFT to sell. That meant that if an artist posted a drawing that went viral on Twitter, for example, someone would need to tag the tweet with one of the scraper bots, and it would turn that image into an NFT “belonging” to the person who invoked the scraping. They could then put the art up for auction.
Granted, this isn’t an issue for Troma as they are making the NFTs of the content from their archives. But we need to talk about the NFT bubble that is imploding right now, as well as how goddamn awful NFTs are for the environment. The environmental impact is especially an issue given the Troma pedigree.
NFTs Ain’t Shit
If Troma is going to go down this route, they sure are late to come to the party. The NFT market has plunged severely since early this year. CNN reported as of late April that “the average price of NFTs plummeted almost 70% from a peak of around $4,000 in mid-February to around $1,400 last week. Since Bloomberg first reported the price crash on April 3, sales remain low.” Yet, tech giants and media companies are continuing to shit out these little art pieces to prop up what is a market that is doomed to fail or, at best, fluctuate wildly, just as most cryptocurrencies seem to do.
And again… and I cannot emphasize this enough. You are essentially paying for nothing. Take, for example, Twitter, which released 140 NFTs. Except in an even more ridiculous late-capitalistic joke, the recipients of the NFTs own nothing. “‘Although the NFT itself is owned by the recipient of the NFT, the Artwork and Brand associated with the NFT is licensed and not transferred or sold to such recipient.’ […] The [Twitter] spokesperson also added that the NFT recipient doesn’t own the rights to the artwork itself or any Twitter IP.”
Many industry insiders claim that there is no NFT bubble. And sure, why not? Let’s say there probably is not a bubble – let’s be optimistic. Instead, NFTs are likely bound to fluctuate like the billion dumb crypto coins out there. Looking at the market charts for these coins is like looking at the rusting chainsaw blade of Leatherface – jagged and something I’d much prefer to avoid being on the end of.
And that isn’t even getting into the environmental consequences of this shit. As early as March, the warning signs were flashing that NFTs, much like the cryptocurrency technology they are based on, are wreaking havoc on the environment.
The Verge sums this dire situation up:
Take “Space Cat,” an NFT that’s basically a GIF of a cat in a rocket heading to the Moon. Space Cat’s carbon footprint is equivalent to an EU resident’s electricity usage for two months, according to the website cryptoart.wtf. That website used to let people click through the estimated greenhouse gas emissions associated with individual NFTs until creator Memo Akten took it down on March 12th. Akten, a digital artist, had analyzed 18,000 NFTs and found that the average NFT has a carbon footprint somewhat lower than Space Cat’s but still equivalent to more than a month’s worth of electricity for a person living in the EU. Those numbers were shocking to some people. But then Akten saw that the website had been used to wrongly attribute an NFT marketplace’s emissions to a single NFT. He took the site offline after he discovered that it “has been used as a tool for abuse and harassment,” according to a note posted on the site.
The Verge’s Justine Calma continues, writing that NFTs are “largely bought and sold in marketplaces like Nifty Gateway and SuperRare that use the cryptocurrency Ethereum. Ethereum, like most major cryptocurrencies, is built on a system called “proof of work” that is incredibly energy hungry. There’s a fee associated with making a transaction on Ethereum — and, ironically, that fee is called ‘gas.'” Ethereum, not backed by a hard currency, uses complex algorithms to ensure the validity of the digital currency that requires hefty computer processing power that constantly runs, consuming a hell of a lot of power. This is the same sort of process that “mints” NFTs.
So what the Hell does this have to do with horror?
WWTD?
Troma, the house that Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz built, has a pedigree in horror and the disgusting outsider art that we love here at Haunted MTL.
Since 1974 Troma has been one of the most iconic and freshest voices in film and the iconic title card of the studio is packed with that good nostalgia. Hell, just read this copy:
Established in 1974 by Yale friends Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, Troma Entertainment is the longest-running independent movie studio in North America, and it’s one of the very few genuine brand names in the industry. Troma is world-famous for producing and distributing classic films such as Kaufman’s “The Toxic Avenger”, Trey Parker’s “Cannibal, the Musical”, “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead”, “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”, Charles Kaufman’s “Mother’s Day” and “Tromeo & Juliet”. Early works of many of today’s luminaries can be found in Troma’s library of 1000 films, cartoons, TV shows, and shorts. Jenna Fischer, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Costner, Fergie, Vincent D’Onofrio, Samuel L. Jackson, James Gunn, and Eli Roth are just a few notable Troma alumni.
Troma’s PR Mailing List
There is some iconic stuff listed there, but I think what gets me most that gets into the heart of my issue with Troma tackling NFTs, is The Toxic Avenger. It is one of the greatest movies ever made with a huge environmental message. Hell, look at the goddamn cartoon. What would Toxie do in a situation like this where a company is doing something that is harming the environment?
I am not a filmmaker, nor do I have the level of experience that Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz have, obviously. Troma has been around for decades now, and as a fan of horror and film, I hope they’ll continue to stick around. I am sure Troma is always working on the best solution to keep the good stuff coming – be that obtaining new movies for the catalog, or pursuing new ways of merchandising what they have,
Yet, I feel really, really weird about this NFT situation, especially from them. It flies against what I’ve seen as the vibe of the team there, and, honestly?
It feels too mainstream for Troma.
Good news to my nonbinary pals – we no longer exist!
“But Brannyk,” you may be thinking, “what am I supposed to do now that I am no longer a real being? How shall I spend my days?”
Unfortunately, the government has not released a handbook for this occasion, so I thought we could brainstorm together.
BECOME A GHOST
There are some benefits to being a ghost, for sure.
No rent or insurance payment. No corporate job, no cleaning cat litter, no AT&T trying to sell you another line after repeatedly telling them that you just want to make sure that your autopayment is on, but they’re all like, ‘Why would you pass up such a bargain on a second line? Are you an idiot? Why wouldn’t you need another phone line?‘ and so you have to tell them, “Because I’M DIVORCED, ASSHOLE, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF THAT!”
Ahem. I digress.
Yeah, you may not be able to venture out, much like Adam and Barbara in Beetlejuice. You may need to put up with someone else crashing your place and moving around all of your shit. Or Ryan Reynolds trying to sell you Mint Mobile. Or some toxic couple taking your creepy doll that you spent years on trying to possess.
Or, my absolute biggest pet peeve, when you’re practicing for the ghost speed chair-stacking championship and the normies just don’t appreciate your cool skills.
But the advantages are that you get to stay home, watch tv, stack your chairs and hope whoever buys your house/visits your creepy woods/gentrifies your neighborhood is a cool person, too.
(2 / 5)
It’s a good choice, but has a lot of drawbacks.
BECOME A CREATURE
Look, if you’re not going to exist, go big or go home, I’d say.
Monsters are cool. They play by their own rules. Sometimes they cause havoc. Sometimes they come around and help people. Sometimes they work alone. And other times, they have a lot of friends. Sometimes they just need some affirmation. And sometimes they’re…in high school, apparently?
The cool thing is that they come in all shapes and sizes.
Monsters are generally misunderstood. Some have their fans. Others are hated.
So basically, just like people, except with more tentacles.
The only downsides are that you might be too big or too “ick” for some people (these can also be pluses), you may have a taste for human flesh (no judgement), or the biggest issue – there are too many choices.
You could get stuck trying to figure out what kind of monster you are. If you’re not into labels, it’s an absolute nightmare. Or if you’re like me, it’ll be like standing in Subway for 15 minutes trying to figure out what toppings and dressings you want while the “sandwich artist” is openly judging you.
(4 / 5)
I like the customization, but it can be a bit too overwhelming.
BECOME A CRYPTID
Hear me out. I know it seems a lot like the monster category, but it’s not quite.
Cryptids are weird and mysterious. They keep to themselves. They have people who are fascinated by them and post on Reddit about them. Some have people making documentaries about them.
They’re like monsters’ quieter cousin who reads books in the corner at family gatherings. They collect shiny things they find by the side of the road. Sometimes they’ll steal a peanut butter sandwich or two.
Ever so often, they might scare a human just by existing or by politely asking for their stuff back.
Each one kinda has their own goals and priorities. Their own hangouts and interests. But unlike monsters, they’re not looking to rock any boats-
Never mind, I stand corrected.
(5 / 5)
I like the freedoms of being a cryptid and also dig the cottage-core vibe I get from them.
CONCLUSION: LET’S BE REAL FOR A SECOND…
I know it’s hard right now. It’s going to be hard. You may not exist to some assholes, but you are real. You have real feelings and thoughts and dreams. You have a real future. You have real decisions. Real actions that affect this world.
You have the real ability to wake up tomorrow and choose to exist. And for whatever reason you choose. Use it. Ghosts and monsters and cryptids are powerful, just like you are, even when you don’t feel like it. They have a place in our human world, just like you do. You make this world interesting and important.
You are part of this world, you are real, and you are not alone.
The horror community is one of acceptance, diversity, creativity and passion. In these times, it needs to be. We need to rely on each other. We need to cultivate and protect each other, as much as we need to protect ourselves.
And it looks like I’ll be coming out of my own cryptid hovel I’ve spent the past few years in to remind you that. My job isn’t done. Not by a longshot. And neither is yours.
You exist to me. Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Be safe out there, friends.
If you live in the United States, it’s time to rock the vote for real. I shared this video before in conjunction with my identity-based costume work, and I feel it’s important to revisit now, with the election coming up in just a few days. Besides which, Jack Black and Tenacious D are brilliant and given the current political climate, who doesn’t want to do the time warp? But seriously, get out and rock the vote, your life kinda does depend on it (at least insomuch as being able to make for yourself the life that you want, without the government telling you how to do so – especially if you live on the fringes of socially acceptable awkwardness like me and so many of my friends).
Besides which, this video is so good, it’s worth sharing again anyway. And again, if for some reason the video doesn’t load, you can find it here.
Art Attack
And here are some artworks I made awhile back as political commentary. The photograph was shot of the scene exactly as found, of a sign above a parking lot in a quickly gentrifying neighborhood making sure all knew that any unauthorized vehicles were unwelcome, and hung right in front of a flag that was tattered and torn from being caught on the chain link fence driving the point home. The flags were meant to be interactive, with gallerygoers waving them while singing The Star Spangled Banner in its elitist entirety. The whole really spoke to me regarding some of the political climate at the time (this was right before Trump was elected President the first time). How much has changed since then? In some ways, a lot. In other ways, I guess we shall see.
So on my recent road trip to Miami AZ USA for my menstruation art installation, we decided to detour to Roswell NM en route home. To be honest, this was one of the best decisions of my life, up there with road trippin’ from Arizona to San Francisco along CA-Highway 1, and I will go into the details of why here soon.
Roswell NM USA has totally embraced its alien history of the UFO crash in the late 1940s and subsequent government cover up. The whole town is alien-happy with beautiful hand carved wood totems, murals and statues everywhere celebrating otherworldly denizens of all types, though predominantly the gray aliens of the crash (and their green counterparts). Even the city logo features a flying saucer as the center of the letter “R”. It really is kind of incredible.
One of the biggest draws is the International UFO Museum and Research Center, housed in the wonderful old theater building. This museum details the crash history as well as celebrating aliens in movies and media and examining newer alien sightings and abductions. It is very thorough and includes maquettes, statues, written accounts and an extensive research library, as well as an interesting art collection of various items.
And there are TONS of fun alien themed curiosity shops. I will give a shout out to the newer Invasion Station north on Main Street where there had once been an old car dealership. I love the quirky nature of this particular store as well as their strong desire to promote local artists. Most of their wares are hand-painted in NM and feature designs by prominent local artists including one of the lead muralists in town (I bought a magnet of his). They also feature really alternative kitsch like KISS and Ace Frehley alien bobbleheads, marijuana and anal references, and such. All in all, our own Haunted MTL’s kinda folks…
And the city is a huge tourist draw internationally, so you can meet some amazing and interesting folks from all walks of life who have caught the alien bug or at least want to check out all the hype. As a result of the tourism, the residents seem really laid back and accommodating (kind of like Hawaii but not quite as much) and there is a thriving art scene. And it’s totally my kind of art – weird and a little creepy. Anyway, I feel like I’ve finally found my peeps and am eager to return someday.
If you’re feeling a bit extraterrestrial, I invite you to also check out some of my alien-themed stories here on Haunted MTL: LTD UFOs among us; my Drive-By short story; and LTD Abducted.
